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★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2023 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

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Trinity

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Last date for posting reviews for the award of best reader is also increased, now you can post your reviews to feature in the best reader award till 15 th March 2023 11:59 Pm.You can also post your reviews After that deadline but they won't be counted for the best readers award. So Cheers.
 

Mahi Maurya

Dil Se Dil Tak
Supreme
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कहानी- Family Nightt
रचनाकार- mai baapu महोदय,


कहानी एक ऐसे कुटुम्बकीय व्यभिचार पर आधारित है जिसमें मां-बेटा, ससुर-पतोहू के बीच सेक्स संबंधों पर आधारित है। चूंकि ऐसी कहानियां कम शब्दों में संचित नहीं की जा सकती हैं इसलिए कहानी उतनी अच्छी नहीं कही जा सकती।
 
10,458
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Story- " Lost in island paradise "
Writer- HusnkiMallika.


यह कहानी एक भाई बहन की है जो एक सुनसान द्वीप मे फंस जाते है और सेक्सुअल रिलेशनशिप मे बंध जाते है।

कहानी साधारण थी लेकिन सेक्स सीन्स बढ़िया लिखा आपने। एक सुनसान द्वीप पर लम्बे अरसे तक फंसे रहने पर भाई बहन का एक दूसरे के प्रति आकर्षण होना स्वाभाविक हो सकता है बशर्ते दोनो ही जवानी के पिक पीरियड पर हों।
अच्छा होता कहानी के अंत मे दोनो उस निर्जन द्वीप से सकुशल घर लौट आए होते।

कहानी पढ़कर ऐसा महसूस हुआ जैसे कोई इंग्लिश मीडियम मे पढ़ने वाली लड़की ने यह कहानी लिखा हो। लेंग्वेज और शब्द पढ़कर तो मुझे ऐसा ही लगा।

वैसे आप की पहली कहानी इस कहानी से लाख बेहतर थी।
हिंग्लिश या इंग्लिश मे यह कहानी आपने लिखा होता तो शायद यह जरूर बेहतर होता।

Rating- 10/6.
 

Mahi Maurya

Dil Se Dil Tak
Supreme
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कहानी- जीवनसंगिनी
रचनाकार- Dynamic2 जी


अब क्या ही कहें इस कहानी के बारे में। कहानी कहाँ से शुरू होकर कहाँ से होकर कहाँ जाकर खत्म हुई पता ही नहीं चला। ऊपर से जब मां का नाम माधुरी है तो ये सुलोचना कौन है। कहानी भी बेहद औसत दर्जे की है।
 

Riky007

उड़ते पंछी का ठिकाना, मेरा न कोई जहां...
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Cover


Gaia
A story by Psychoknight


It was almost 3 PM in the watch and we could cover only half of the distance, around ten kilometers give or take, though we have started early with the crack of dawn. Walking 10 KMs through the street and through this thick forest are entirely different things. My local guide Raghu continuously swung his Khukri to clear out the dense bushes to make the road as presentable as he could for me, but even then, I had great difficulties navigating myself.

Adventure of a lifetime! Experience nature! Those words I told myself before the journey was evaporating with time. I climbed mount Aconcagua of Andes, I swam across the English Channel, I traveled solo to Alaska to witness the glory of Aurora borealis, but this trekking to Mahakal gufa in the dense forest of Chhattisgarh is something different. First of all, it is almost untouched and the journey is through the virgin forest, and secondly, due to the local populace, they are protected by the government under special law as it is said that they are originally from Africa, somehow came to India during probably the slave trade and stayed here thereafter. My interest in visiting the great caves of Mahakal was ten folded after reading about this Kaluha tribe, it is said that they are a part of this nature, unlike all other human species, they actually care for nature rather than exploit it. I read about them, and couldn’t let go of the chance to see them with my own eyes.

Raghu is a part of that Kaluha tribe, received primary education from a missionary school, and could understand the concept of money better than others of his tribe, so agreed to my proposal of guiding me to Mahakal Gufa, a 16 KM walk through the wilderness to the dark descent of forest.



I had hoped to complete the trek in the daytime and camp in the night in front of the caves but this only half of the distance took the major portion of the day so Raghu told me to spend the night beside this tiny stream of water that we are following upstream since the beginning of our journey. The road ahead is upward through the rocky land and the last few miles are going to be the hardest of our journey.

Raghu prepared the camp, he gathered sticks for the fire, stones for the makeshift stove, tied the hammock to the branches with ease, and practiced hand, he did all these things with ease and never looked troubled.

I wondered by the skill of this man! He is not a professional guide, and not a complete tribal either.

He spent his young hood in the city among the so-called civilized world, and went to school, even then I never felt that he is having any kind of trouble in the jungle.

He cleared the bushes mainly for me and always could find the best road with ease. I could well understand that he could have been going all the way and back to the caves if he was alone and not have to drag my sorry ass through the entire journey.

Then he did something really unexpected. Raghu went to the river, stripped all his clothes, and covered him with mud, head to toe. Indeed, they are from Africa, the dark continent. As if some sculptor made him with great attention and care, he stood under the canopy of green all over like an earthen statue, a part of nature.

He asked me to do the same. I knew why jungle people do this. To protect them from mosquitoes and other bugs in the night. I bring out a mosquito repellent cream from the bag.

Raghu took the cream in his hand, smelled it, and shook his head.

“No Saab, that won’t do, you should cover yourself in the mud, the mud is not for mosquitoes alone, but to protect you from the jungle itself.”

It might be some superstition, but I never disagree with local people. They always know better. So, I followed him and covered myself with mud following him.

‘Saab, smell yourself, what is the smell, can you tell?

I smelled my hand, and looked at Raghu,

“I could smell nothing! What is it?”

“Exactly, you smell like nothing…now Gaia won’t feel our presence, we are safe from her.”


I was about to ask him for an explanation about Gaia, but he was busy preparing our evening meals so I couldn’t.

Later in the night, I climbed on my hammock, Raghu fixed it with the scrawny branches, they bent as I put my weight on them.

“Raghu, you should have fixed them with the thicker branches, I think they might break.”

“Don’t you worry Saab, these are teak, won’t break that easily “


“This is teak!! It is very valuable then, thank God people don’t know about this! Otherwise, this would have been a barren land and wood mafias would have stripped the land to its bones to by this time.”

“This is not ordinary teak either, some say it is even better than the Burmese verity, and you are talking about people not knowing about it? Saab, people know about these woods from the British era, tomorrow we will pass through a clearing, you will see abandoned remains of camp, equipment and bulldozers, all covered in vines and engulfed by forest”

“What happened? Why they abandoned the project? Your people stopped them?”
I wondered.

“Kaluha did their part, but Gaia took care of them, Gaia knows how to protect herself. After that nobody dares to venture in the forest with ill intention.”

Raghu plucked my interest. It is not only about the thrill of the journey, meeting new people, knowing about the local culture and myths, being one with the place…that encourages me to roam from one corner to another on this beautiful earth.

“Raghu, previously also you have mentioned Gaia, I liked to know about her, who is she? I heard this name before, but not from this part, not from Africa, certainly not from India, is this the same Gaia?”

“ Saab, I don’t know what Gaia you are talking about, but I know only one, and she is here, all around us.”

“Raghu, it’s a long night ahead, please tell me more about this.”
I pleaded.

Raghu of Kaluha tribe then started the story of Gaia. As his story started, the jungle falls silent, the noise of cricket, the weird chirping of nocturnal birds deep in the forest, and the sound of slow-flowing stream all stopped, as if they were all eager to listen to the voice of Raghu, the dim light from the campfire was not enough to cut through the deep dark of the jungle, rather its shaking light and shadow increases the mystic surrealistic ambiance.

I know, that when my readers are going to read this story, they are going to read it in a well-lit home, in front of bright display of a mobile or computer screen, or in a paper…but believe me for experiencing the true nature of the story, you need to imagine yourself deep inside the forest, surrounded by the scary beautiful nature and in total silence but the very voice of the jungle’s own son. Raghu started his story…...





“Saab, when and how we came here to live in this part of the world, it is still unknown. Some say during the war of Sikandar we came as a part of slave labor, and others believe that we are cast away from a slave ship, whatever our origin may be, but it is sure that we were runaways as we were trying to hide, probably from soldiers or from slavers.

The slave trade was a very profitable business then, so not even the deep maze of forest could stop the slave traders to recover their stolen goods, so our elders invoked the spirit of the forest to protect us.

I heard about the rituals, and stories of that told by my ancestors many times, to tell you in short, it involves numerous human sacrifices, blood offerings, and accepting yourself as a part of the jungle, and never abandoning her.

The free spirit was not ready to bind herself with any earthly place, so she resisted, I heard that the sky turned red that night, the trees were shaking vigorously without any storm and the ground itself split in half to engulf us all, but our shaman could able to raise the spirit of the jungle at last.

They called her by some name, now after many generations, we can’t even pronounce it properly, so the British given name Gaia stuck with her.”


Raghu stopped for a bit for a sip of water, and I used the pause to ask him,

“So you think Gaia is some goddess or some kind of voodoo that is present here?”

“Saab, Gaia is not some deity, she is the forest itself. We are all surrounded by Gaia, she is everywhere, within you even from the moment you stepped into the forest.

We promised her to be with her in return for the protection, and she kept her word. Many people there after entered in search of wealth, at first it is for us, but then there was more. Our forest is rich in minerals, woods, and exotic animals….so there are always slavers, poachers, and thieves that tried to exploit the forest, all of them ventured into the forest, but very few return.

As time passes, modern civilization crawled its way into us also, and with that greed, so now even the people of Kaluha need to take care of themselves in the forest. As the boundary of the forest shrinks day by day, Gaia acting more volatile and angrier, so I asked you to cover yourself in the mud.

Anyway, there are countless stories of Gaia in this part, few of them are true, few of them are the imagination of a desperate man lost in the wild, but the incidence I am about to talk about with you is more recent, around a couple of decades ago. I was very young then, but could still remember the commotion.

A few years ago, a political party backed by the mafia came into power, as a repayment for their support they got the official approval to mine deeper, destroy more rivers, plunder more natural resources, and an exclusive agreement to get the valuable teak woods from the very heart of the forest.

Kaluha people tried to stop them, we pelt stones at the workers, sabotaged the roads for bringing the heavy equipment, and gave applications to every government authority to stop the work, but nothing happened.

We took desperate measures after all other means failed, our children and women lay down on the road to stop the advancement of bulldozers, and we hold hands to surround the tree marked for cultivation. There was no way to cut down a single tree without harming us.

They tried to beat us down, but every time one of us is down, two took place of him. We were desperate to save our home.

It got the attention, and now the media of the entire nation even from outside country published about our resistance, under heavy pressure from outside and inside, they had no other option but to halt the work.

But it was too profitable to let go, big players enter the play, the mafia himself came into the scene, and the government declared a total media ban in the area. Elders of our tribe were put into jails, villages were dislodged to make way for the roads and shelter for workers.

It was a lost war, and we were on the losing side, we had no other option but to make way for civilization. Giant machines everyday tore the century-old trees from the ground and we watched helplessly. The clean air was filled with sawdust, the river turned muddy black from the fumes.

Our jungle was no more.”


Raghu stopped a bit, though he was just a child, it was evident that he could still remember those days like yesterday.

It was nothing new to me, during my travel I heard this story, place changes, the character changes but the story remained the same. The story of how the cruel claws of civilization engulfed the natural beauty, everything which is pure. The story was nothing new to me.

After a brief pause, Raghu started again,

“The influential mafia don, the kingmaker decided to station himself in the jungle camp to ensure the progress of the job without any hindrance. And let me tell you, he was a piece of art.

Every day he hunts deer, sometimes a leopard for sport and young flesh in the night, and not just any flesh, a tribal girl.

The overseer of the operation made it sure to supply him with local girls every night and the goon became a man-eater with the touch of young virgin blood of the untamed wild.

There were no men free in the tribe who can resist him so our mothers and sisters got scared and took shelter deep in the forest to save themselves.

It was getting difficult to get any girls, so the overseer faced the music and the temper of the owner, don Dinesh Tripathi always remained in top gear.

He tried to drown his hunger in booze and in hunting, the campground was wet with all the blood from the wild animals and with country liquor.

One morning Dinesh was hunting, he was all alone with his rifle when he spots the girl.

For long Dinesh couldn’t understand the source of sweet humming, the morning air was filled with the sweet smell of the wet ground and wild flowers, the sparkling lights of dew drops in the leaves created unearthly glitters in the view, and that song…..it was so alluring that mesmerized Dinesh was looking for the owner of such sweet voice like a mad man, he forgot about the shiny Enfield rifle in his hand, he forgot about following the trail of the Barasinga that he just spotted a few minutes ago in the woods, but it seems that all aim of his life depends on the finding of the singer.

Saab, if you follow the stream upstream, you will see a slight elevation, the stream will jump around a bit playing hide and seek behind the rocks to suddenly jump in the ground to create a nice cozy waterfall, it is there where Dinesh could spot the girl.

The slender dusky bronze-like naked skin glowing with the touch of clear water, the waters from her long cloud-like hair finds its way through the curvy valley to lost again in the wild dark bush between her legs. She was nude, but her nudity was not vulgar in any way, but as natural as nature itself.

While bathing, the girl hummed the sweetest melody Dinesh have ever heard, he was such hypnotized by the view that it took many moments before he regained his senses.

The girl saw him watching, she was not ashamed a bit, never tried to cover herself with clothes, rather put her long hair in front to maintain her modesty.

Her hair covered a little, rather showed more as she walks towards Dinesh.

Who are you, girl? Are you all alone? Dinesh watched her very closely from top to bottom.

The girl never answered, kept a slight hint of smile always.

Do you know who am I? Do you know where I stay? Dinesh asked.

The girl slightly nods her head to acknowledge.

Why don’t you come to visit my tent around sundown? You can have great food, and who knows may be even a silver neckless for your pretty neck.

Dinesh touched her neck to move away the hair and steal a look at her breast. He saw many girls in his life, of all types and all sizes, but something extraordinary was in her that Dinesh felt irresistible urges. The smell from her still-wet body made Dinesh mad with lust, the smell was so recognizable, yet very unknown.

The girl move away inside the jungle, giving a last look at Dinesh as she disappeared inside the green screen of the trees. Dinesh just remembered where the smelled the fragrance, it was the smell of the jungle itself, the smell of wet ground mixed with unknown wild flowers. He should have brought the good-for-nothing overseer with him, he could have finalized the deal with the girl to ensure her presence tonight.



The sun goes down long ago, the howling wind transforms into a constant downpour from the sky accompanied by thunder and lightning, the jungle was alive that night. Dinesh was not sure if the girl will accept his invitation or not, but the slightest chance of approval was evaporated with this sudden breakdown in the weather.

The diesel for the generator couldn’t arrive due to the rain and the last bit of civilization died with the last gasp of the generator. Now the camp is under the grasp of total darkness barring a few oil lamps here and there.

Dinesh finished his bottle; he was hoping for the girl even though he knew that she couldn’t come in this weather even if she wished.

It was utter disgust, what the hell he is doing in this god-forbidden place! Why the hell that local savage tree huggers choose to interfere in his business!! Those are only trees!! Don’t they understand with industry comes jobs, education, medical, and transportation. They are not cave dwellers, if they wish to remain in the darkness of ignorance, let them be, but let the willing people have their furniture made by fine woods and most of all, let Dinesh have his money.

When he passed out in bed drinking peg after peg of the foreign liquor he opened specially for tonight, probably he forgot to shut the door or the wind was too strong for the weak tent door as he woke up in the middle of the night from the cracking sound of thunder.

At first, it was pitch dark, but then the lightning brought a flash of light through the door. What Dinesh saw in the door startled him at first, but then he was rather happy.

In the doorway, the girl from the morning stood firmly, flashing from the constant lightning was drawing the blue outline of the silhouette over her fantastic curve, light shines over her wet naked body to paint her in silver.

She was completely nude.

Dinesh was still drunk; his head was spinning from being hungover but he was aroused. The thought of her walking nude between the coolie quarters was kinky, and he likes that. In the heavy rain and thunderstorm, most likely nobody could notice her, but even then it was provoking enough to ride on senses of Dinesh.

Without any word she directly came into the bed with him.

The ancient act of procreation was turned into a playful acrobatic endeavor, their bodies rise up and sank down like ships in a sea, together, in harmony. The smell of whisky and sweat in the room was soon overpowered by the strong smell of wild flowers, the girl pinned down Dinesh to ride on top.

She was having motion like a seesaw, and with every thrust, she rode deeper and harder over Dinesh’s manhood, strands of her hair swinging like a poisonous serpent, he was having the joy of his lifetime, the extreme sense of ecstasy made him mad with lust, he tried to grab her breast, but couldn’t lift his hand to reach it. She must have pinned him down too strongly or the effect of alcohol finally made his muscle strength numb, too numb to move.

At least it is not numb where it matters, Dinesh thought. With the last drop of orgasm, he lost his senses and falls asleep with her on top.



The next morning Dinesh opened his eyes to the sound of people shouting, running in terror. The light was too bright to see at first, but slowly his eyes adjusted. Then he saw it.



Laborers were afraid, they were running for their lives. The whole campsite turned into a warzone, all the quarters were destroyed, someone or something tore the steel hands of gigantic machines in half as if they were made of cardboard, and all the logs and planks they accumulated since the beginning of the work were flooded to render them useless, people were in a hurry to left the place.

“ What the hell happened to my tent? What happened here? Did the storm do this?” Dinesh tried to leave his bed, but he couldn’t.

Someone tied him to the ground, Dinesh squirmed like a fish without water and looked at his side.

Someone or something did tie him down, but not with any rope, but the roots from the ground were raising slowly over his body to drag him down, into the earth.

Dinesh looked with terror in his eyes to witness shoots of white root slowly ascending from the ground like slithering worms to cover up his body, with every circle around they were tightening their grip to bury him down in the ground.

With every air left in his lungs, Dinesh cried for overseer. The wounded overseer witnessed the last descent of his master as he was buried alive in the ground, till the last moment the overseer could see his eyes, full of terror and helplessness.

After the destruction of the camp, the whole project was abandoned. And soon after, the Kaluha tribe was declared under special protection by the government of India and UNESCO, so the land and the forest became untouchable for common people. ”




Raghu finished his story. The jungle was still silent, and I too for a minute or two. My logical brain did calculate all the possibilities and eventuality behind the description of the event, but another half of my brain screamed for the supernatural phenomenon.

“So that was the last viewing of Gaia in this part?” My throat was all dried, but I still asked Raghu.

“ How can it be sir, human greed is endless, so people still enter here to exploit her riches, and Gaia is still doing her work. Look at you sir, even though the forest is protected, you still managed to venture here using your connection with the upper level, though I hope it is not with malicious intentions, but even then we should be careful.”

I shook my head in fear, I have no bad intention, I am just here to witness the glory of nature, untouched like it was meant to be.

“Tomorrow we will pass through the campsite, Saab, you will see with your own eyes the dance of the destruction, you will understand that no storm could tear an iron bulldozer in half, you will witness the true might of Gaia, the spirit of the forest.”

Raghu told, but I was not very sure whether I should continue with my journey or not, so I asked Raghu with a trembling voice,

“And what happened to the dead body of the mafia? It was recovered or not?”

“They never recovered any dead body, they never tried hard for it, I am not sure even if Dinesh is dead or not. some nights, if you are observant, you could still listen to the cry for help, in a faint husky voice, coming from the deep underground. I think Gaia kept Dinesh alive to torment him even more, to be her plaything, still today.


Anyway, Saab, we should now go to sleep, we have to proceed with the first light, a long way ahead.”

Raghu tucked himself down in the blanket and went to sleep, but I could never sleep that night. With every sound of falling leaves, and every step of wild deer or maybe a rabbit, I was startled throughout. I felt the presence of Gaia all around us, ever watching with her thousand eyes. She was everywhere.



The End
The story line is good, but I never felt connected to this story.

Citing of single incidence about Gaia don't really scare or influenced me. Could have been more better

रेटिंग:6/10
 

Sanki Rajput

Abe jaa na bhosdk
5,756
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Story - Pyar Ek Tyag
Written By - Sanki Rajput

Review –

Ek short story mai apne wo ahsas dikhaya h jo har har premi ne dekha h ....sirf kuch he hote h jo itni heemat kar paate h ......
Suruwat he itni rochak rahi ki kuch palo mai he sama bandh diya...khaskar Kamal wali baat ne ..akhir kamal kitna he sundar kyo na ho par khichad bina uska astitva nahi h ..
pyar mai bita har pal dil ke koune mai gahrayi tak apni jagah banata h aj wahi wo kar raha tha ....uske kahe har sabd hard tute huve dil ke sath bakhubi mail kha rahe the ....Dono ne he ek dusre ki jindgi ki khusi ke liye ankho ke samne he pyar ka tyag kar diya ....ek taraf sia jisne apne pyar ki jindgi ke liye apni jindgi pyar sab sacrifies kar liya ...toh usne bhi akhiri palo tak apne pyar ki har yaad ko apni ankho mai basa liya .....bhale he sia uski dulhan na bani par usne sia ko dulhan ke roop mai apni ankho basa liya...ek taraf dost ki khusi thi toh ek taraf pyar tha.....sia ke liye tyag karna behad muskil tha ....kyoki ek ladki ko us waqt decision lena bahut muskil hone wala tha...par usne liya ......
apki story se pata h main khud ko bahut Kush kismat manta hu kyoki Kismat mai pyar asani se nahi milta warna har koyi meri tarah mahfil mai ye gana nahi gaata...

"shaam bhi khub h..... pass mere mera mahubub h aur jeene ke liye sanam kya chahiye
Really true heart touching story thi ...i wish sabko apna pyar mile .....bahut pyar likha sanki bro.....

apki story ne bakhubhi darsaa diya h ki Pyar mai Tyag kya aur kaise hota h
Ju ne to Sandeep bhai ke review ka dipto copy review dediya ye kya tha khair waise ju ne pahle hi revo dediya tha to phir dene ki jarurat nhi thi btw thanx.
 
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Mahi Maurya

Dil Se Dil Tak
Supreme
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66,662
354
कहानी- सर्जिकल चुदाई
रचनाकार- rathodka8inch जी।


क्या बात है महोदय, क्या कहानी लिख दी आपने।
दुश्मन देश की बहू की ही ठुकाई करवा डाली। अगर कर्नल और जनरल को पता चल जाता तो।😄😜🤣

बहरहाल कहानी साधारण है लेकिन पेश अच्छे तरीके से किया गया है। गुल का पति नपुंशक है इसलिए अपने जिस्म की आग शांत करने के लिए उसने उस व्यक्ति से अपनी प्यास बुझाई जिसको वो जानती भी नहीं थी सबसे अच्छी बात कि वो दूसरे देश का था। जिससे भविष्य में कोई डर भी नहीं होगा गुल के लिए, लेकिन इस कहानी को पढ़कर दोनों देशों के पाठक भी सर्जिकल स्ट्राइक न शुरू कर दें, क्योंकि मामला काफी सेंसटिव है।😜
 

ketan Chauhan

Dead Man 🕸️☣️🕸️
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Lar Tapkata Rahe Gaya.
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Mera name subhas chand he. Umar 58 sal. Me ek sone chandi ka vyopari hu. Matlab ki ek sunhar. Meri jaweri bazar me dukan he. Meri biwi maya rani. Hight 6 fit ki. Mujse tagdi. Me to dubla patla maryal sa hu. Par meri biwi mujse kai gunah tagdi he. Mere ghar me meri biwi ki hi chalti he.

Vese vo chalchalan ki khatab to nahi he. Par ghar ki malkin vahi he. Jesa vo chahti he. Ghar me vesa hi hota he. Par ye kahani maya ki nahi he. Meri do betiyo ki he. Mere ek dost vyapari seth Mafat lal. Jiski meri dukan ke bagal me hi dukan he. Vo mera samdhi he. Meri do betiya he. Malvika or simran. Malvika ki umar 26 sal. Uski shadi ko 6 sal ho chuke he. Vo apni maa pe gai he. Meri tarah nati nahi he.

34 ke boobs 30 ki kamar or 36 ka pichhvada. Bahot khubshurat he. Name bhi sahi diya meri biwi ne. Malvika. Ka ka pata nahi par mal to jabardast he. Mafat lal ke bade bete Sundar lal se uski shadi aaj se 6 sal pahele hui thi. Abhi sayad uske pet me he. Meri biwi ne bataya uska mahina ruk gaya.
Dusri he simarn jiski shadi mere shamdhi Mafat lal ke chhote bete shameer se pakki kar di he. Bas shadi ki bat pakki Karwne ke lie hi Meri beti or shamdhi mere ghar aae hue he. Simran bhi malvika ki tarah mal hi he. Uske bhi 34 ke boobs 28 ki kamar or 34 ka hi pichhvada he. Meri biwi meri niyat janti he.
Is lie vo muje meri betiyo ke pas bhatakne tak nahi deti. To ab asli kahani par chalte he. Meri badi si kothi ke bahar. Gardan me. Mafatlal or me ham dono hi sharab ki chuskiya lete hue rangin bato ka maza le rahe the. Halka halka shusrur ham dono ko chadh chuka tha.

Me ; are yaar tuje vo sweety yaad he. Jise ham dono ne choda tha.

Mafat ; (smaile) ha ha. Sali ne anguthi churai thi. Or tune hi muje phone kar ke bulaya tha. Mast kashi hui chut thi uski.

Hame nasha jyada hone laga tha.

Me ; par yaar esi kashi chut ab kaha mil sakti he.

Mafat ; muje to malvika ki chut se jyada kashi hui kisi ki nahi lagti. Usi ki marne me jyada maza,aata he yaar.

Malvika ka name sunkar muje zatka sa laga. Vo meri beti yani apni bahu ki bat kar raha he. Vo bolte hue zum raha tha. Nasha to muje bhi ho gaya. Par pine ke bad bhi mera dimag tez chalta he. Sunar hu. Kanjus bhi hu. Or bahot syana bhi hu.

Me ; (sock) kya bat kar raha he yaar.

Mafat ; (nasha) ha yaar sach me. Jo maza muje teri beti ki chudai me aati he. Vo kisi me nahi aati.

Me ; (nasha) sale nasha tuje ho gaya he. Tu kuchh bhi mat bol.

Mafat ; (zumte hue) are me zutth nahi bol raha yaar. Tu bol me vo shart lagane ko taiyar hu.

Me ; (nasha zumte hue) sale zutth bolega to tuje mera land chusa dunga.

Tabhi meri beti malvika ki aavaj aai. Vo andar se hi chilakar bol rahi thi.

Malvika ; papa..... Please dono aa jao. Khana thanda ho raha he.

Mafat sala ghum kar door ki taraf dekha or fir muje kamini smaile karte hue dekhta he.

Mafat ; (nasha kamini smaile) agar vo yaha tere samne meri god me beth kar muje kiss karegi to bol tu mera land muh me lega.

Nasha use nahi muje bhi ho gaya tha. Par land mera bhi meri dhoti me sochkar hi tan gaya. Me josh me bol gaya.

Me ; (nasha josh) manzur he.

Vaha meri beti papa papa chilla rahi thi. Mafat ne malvika ko aavaj di.

Mafat ; malvika..... Jara idhar aana Darling.

Malvika door se bahar aai. saree me. Uske face par ajib si mushkurahat thi. Chandni rat me bala hi khubshurat. Bas uske aane se hi mere land me zanzanati or dill me becheni badh gai. Mafat ne uski taraf face kiya. or apni god ki taraf hisara kiya. Mere dill ki dhadkane tez ho gai. Vo apne chahere par aa rahe balo ko ungli se kan ke pichh karti hui mushkurai.
Pahele to usne muje dekha. Meri dill ki dhakne tez ho gai. Par sayad use laga muje nasha jyada ho gaya ho. Vo bade aram se hamare bich me aai or mafat ki god me beth gai. Apne dono hatho ko uske gale me ese dalkar zul gai. Jese vo uska shasur na hokar pati ho.
Mafat ne bhi sidha ek hath blouse ke upar se hi uske boobs pe rakha. Duse hath ko uske sar ke pichhe lejakar uske lips se lips jod diye. Vo mere hi samne meri beti ko kiss kar raha tha. Mera to nasha hi fat gaya. Mera hath khud hi apni dhoti ke upar se apne land par chala gaya.

Mafat ; (smaile) dekh tera bap kese ham dono ko dekh kar apna land mashal raha he.

Malvika ne muje smaile karte hue dekha.

Malvika ; (smaile) papa aap kisi ko bataoge to nahi na???

Me jese stabdh hi rahe gaya. Or na me sar hilaya. Meri beti khadi hui. Or mafat ne apni dhoti upar kar li. Vo apna bada or mota sa land nikal kar bola.

Mafat ; (smaile) chal sale ab tu sharat har gaya. Ab chus ise.

Muje apne aap par sharam aane lagi. Me kabhi mafat ko dekhta. To kabhi uske 8" ke land ko to kabhi malvika ko. Jo ye sab dekh kar mushkura rahi thi.

Malvila ; (smaile) ab papa sharat lagai he to man na bhi padega.

Pata nahi kya huaa me aage khisak kar apne hatho se kamine mafat ka land pakad liya.

Malvika ; (smaile) jaldi kijiye papa. Kahi mammy na aa jae.

Muje sharam bhi aa rahi thi par maza bhi aa raha tha. Me uske land par zuka or land ko muh me le liya. Uska land pahele se tana huaa tha. Pure 1 minit hue ki usne mere kandho se pichhe dhakela. Bas bas sharat puri hui.

Malvika ; (smaile) bas bas ab aap kisi ko kuchh nahi kahoge.

Me sock ho gaya. Kyo ki meri khud ki beti mera video bana rahi thi

Me ; beta me sach me kisi ko kuchh nahi kahunga.

Malvika ; (mobile me dekhte) ha ha par aap muje chodne ki jidd to karoge na. Or me aap se chudvane vali thodi hu.

Malvika ne bhi badi shararat se mushkurate hue mafat ko dekha.

Malvika ; (shararat smaile) me to bas aap ke dost se hi chudvane vali hu.

Mafat hasne laga.

Mafat ; (smaile) yaar teri beti mere bete ko bhi chodne nahi deti. Iske pas uski bhi koi kamjori he.

Me ; (sock) yani ye sab tum dono ka plam tha???

Dono jor jor se hasne lage.

Malvika ; (smaile) or nahi to kya. Me chahti thi ki koi muje dekhe inke sath. Or aap se bada tharki duniya me kaha milega. Ab chaliye cortege me. Ham dono ko dekh lo.

Mafat or malvika dono khade hue or meri kotthi ke bahar jo cortège mahemano ke lie bana huaa tha. Us taraf jane lage. Malvika ruki or pichhe mudi

Malvika ; aaiye na papa.

Mafat ; (smaile) chal vo aajaega.

Vo dono jane lage. Me sock bas un dono ko jate dekhta hi raha. Par meri kalpna muje vaha jane ko majbur kar rahi thi kuchh der bad me khada huaa. Or us taraf jane laga. Meri dhadkane badi joro se dhadak rahi thi.
Me cortege ke door tak pahocha. sirf door pe hath rakha or Jo najara samne dekha vo dekh kar me sock ho gaya. Mafat bad par leta huaa tha. Or uske land pe magar puri saree me. Meri beti malvika uski taraf face kiye bethi hui thi. Malvika ne meri taraf smaile karte hue shararat se dekha.

Malvika ; (smaile) andar aa jao papa.

Me andar aa gaya. Or door band kar diya.

Malvika ; (smaile) apni beti ko dekho. Or hila lo. Kuchh bolna mat. Na muje tach karna.

Malvika ghum kar apna blouse ke huk kholne lagi. blouse khulte hi vo sirf bra me ho gai. Vo mafat ki kamar ke pas dono tango ko ird gird kiye khadi hui tab pata chala ki mafat bina dhoti ke niche se nanga or land tana huaa 90°.

Malvika ; papa jara ye nada khichna.

Me karib aaya. Malvika ne apni kamar ka nada mere hatho me diya. Pata nahi kyo mene use khich diya. Or chhodte hi ghaghra niche. vo andar se nangi. Malvika ne ghaghra utthakar side kiya. Or mafat ke land par bade ahista se beth gai. land ko chut ke muh par lagaya. or dhire dhire use apni chut me nigal gai. Uska face meri taraf smaile karte hue. Ankhe nashili or ajib si shararat.

Malvika ; (smaile nasha) ahhhhh sssss. Maza aaya papa.....

Vo malvika uske land par kudne lagi. Bich bichme vo bar bar muje dekhti.

Malvika ; (smaile shararat) apna hila lo papa. Aap ko dekhne to de rahi huna.

Ahhh uhhh ki aavaj aati rahi. mene bhi dhoti upar ki or apna 7" ka land hilane laga. Muje dekhne me bhi maza aa raha tha.

Malvika ; (smaile sharat) abhi to simran ka bhi show dekhna he aap ko.

Me sock tha. tabhi ye sunkar mene jor ka land hilaya or apni ankhe band kar li. Me jor ka zad gaya. Jab ankhe khuli to malvika mere samne sirf bra me khadi thi. Vo jor ki hasi. Muje sharam aa gai.

Malvika ; (smaile) papa ab niche betho. Or meri chut chat kar saf karo.

Me niche betha or uski dono zango pe hath rakh kar. uski chut pe muh lagaya.

Malvika ; (ankhe band) sss ahhh... Aaj se aap mere kutte ho.


Story bohot mast hai.
League se hat kar ke topic hai jo ki iss story ko baki sb stories se alag krta hai.
Itne Kam sabdho ka use karte hue boht achi kahani likhi gayi hai.
Pehle try me aisi kahani likhna prashansniya hai.
Story me erotica and cuckolding ka behtarin combination hai.
Thodi si choti lagi story par boht achi.
Malvika ki akhri line mast thi
 

avsji

Weaving Words, Weaving Worlds.
Supreme
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कहानी - निःशब्द
लेखक - avsji
यह महज़ एक कहानी नहीं, ना जाने कितनी ही स्त्रियों की आपबीती है। पढ़ते ही दिल रूआंसा सा हो उठा, इतना कष्ट, इतनी प्रताड़ना सिर्फ सांस लेने एवं नन्ही सी जान का भूखा पेट भरने के लिए। उफ्फ!
बहुत ही बाखूबी से एक लाचार स्त्री के दर्द से अवगत कराया आपने। 🙏

बहुत बहुत धन्यवाद मेरे भाई, बहुत बहुत धन्यवाद 🙏
आप लोगों को कहानी अच्छी लगी, मेहनत सफल रही 😊
 

Shetan

Well-Known Member
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Story bohot mast hai.
League se hat kar ke topic hai jo ki iss story ko baki sb stories se alag krta hai.
Itne Kam sabdho ka use karte hue boht achi kahani likhi gayi hai.
Pehle try me aisi kahani likhna prashansniya hai.
Story me erotica and cuckolding ka behtarin combination hai.
Thodi si choti lagi story par boht achi.
Malvika ki akhri line mast thi
Bahot bahot shukriya ketan. Ha ye story chhoti hone ki shikayat sab ko he. Par ye ek alag tarah ka formet he. Shukar he aap ko kahani sirf chhoti lagi. Kaiyo ko ye adhuri lagi. Jab ki short story ka makshad sirf ek pal ko jatana hota he. Na ki puri jindgi.

7000 ward me kabhi kahani short nahi ho sakti. Vo to sirf 500 ward ka khel he. Kise samaz aata he. Kisi aur ki ray kya bolu. Jo 500 me takkar le vahi khiladi.

Fir bhi story ko support karne ke lie bahot bahot shukriya. A lot of thanks.
 
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48,881
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Story- " Death of Superman "
Writer- Psychoknight.

Story me fantasy bhi tha..love bhi tha..Emotions bhi tha...Thrills bhi tha.
Mujhe bahut badhiya laga. Writing skills ek perfect Writer ki jaisi hai.
The Superman ' Santu ' aur The Lois lane ' Priya ' ka kirdar aur character dono hi outstanding tha.

Santu jate jate Kudumb Nagar ki janta me chetna jaga gaya. Ek baar mughe biswas hi nahi hua ki knife ke aaghat se wo wounded kaise ho gaya !
Story ka executions kafi achha tha.

Rating- 10/9.
 
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