SAAND
UPDATE- 76
Jalebi ki bur me jor jor se dhakke marte huye maine shilpa ke dono nange doodh pakad liye aur unhe jor jor se dabane laga aur bur ko chatne laga…poora kamra dono maa beti ki kamuk siskiyo se goonj utha.
Shilpa—aaahhhhh…maaaaaa…..rajjj doodh thoda dhire dabao dard hota hai…..lekin bur pilane me bahut maza aa raha hai aaaahhhh….aur jor jor se piyo meri bur ko rajjj….
Jalebi—aaahhhhh….aise hi khoob ragdo meri bur ko….poora maza le le ke pelo aaj meri bur….aaj se hum dono maa beti tumhari rakhail hain….tumhara jab mann kare aa kar hame nangi kar ke chod liya karo…aaahhhh
Thodi der me hi dono maa beti bhal bhala kar apni apni bur se pani phenkne lagi….lekin main danadan pelta gaya…aur phir lagbhag aadhe ghante baad main jalebi ki bur ki gahrayi me jhadte huye pichariya chhodne laga…mere sath hi ek bar phir se dono maa beti jhad gayi…aur main jalebi ke upar hi let gaya.
Ab aage….
Abhi main jalebi ke upar let kar shilpa ke doodh pine me laga hua tha ki mera phone vibrate hone laga…dekha to call meena didi ka tha…isliye uthana hi pada.
Raj—hello…haan, didi…
Meena—tu hai hai kaha abhi…?
Raj—bas abhi kaki ke ghar par hu…
Meena—dekh raj, ye sab baate chhod aur jaldi se ghar aa…
Raj—theek hai didi, aa raha hu.
Jalebi—kis ka phone tha raj beta….?
Raj—meenu didi ka…mujhe jana hoga…
Jalebi—shilpa ki kuwari bur ka maza nahi lega….?
Raj—baad me…abhi use padhne me dhyan lagane do….aur ye lo 50 hazar rupaye…rakh lo.
Shilpa—ye kisliye….?
Raj—ab tum dono meri rakhail ho to thoda shaan baan se raha karo…chalo rakho warna main phir nahi aunga kabhi idhar
Jalebi—rakh le beti…jab raj itne pyar se de raha hai to...
Raj—lekin agli bar to teri bedardi se lunga.
Jalebi—mujhe intazar rahega uss pal ka.
Shilpa—raj jaldi aana aur apna dhyan rakhna.
Raj (kapde pahante huye)—ok
Maine dono maa beti ke doodh ek do bar kas kas ke masalne ke baad hotho me kiss kar ke vaha se nikal gaya aur apne dosto ke paas aa gaya, jo ki mera hi intazar kar rahe the….
Amtul—kaho bhai sab theek hai na ab…..?
Raj—haan yaar….chalo mere ghar chalte hain.
Jitu—bhai meri baat mano to abhi aapka apne ghar jana theek nahi hai…isse thakur ko aapke gahr walo ke bare me pata chal sakta hai aur apki family bhi problem me aa sakti hai.
Iron—meri bhi yahi rai hai.
Raj—baat to sahi hai....lekin maine didi ko bhi aane ka bol diya tha to jana to padega hi yaar ab warna vo tension me rahengi.
Raghuhalkal—to tum mil kar aa jao…tab tak hum yaha nazar rakhte hain bahar jisse koi khatra na ho.
Siraj—aur haan, raj ye vikrant gaandu ka phone yahi gir gaya tha….isko apne paas rakho….iska data aur contact nos. hamare kaam aa sakte hain….maine sim ka data mobile me copy kar diya hai….
Amtul—to phir sim ko tod kar phenk do phir.
Raj—ok, phenk dunga yaar…theek hai main didi se mil ke abhi aaya.
Main apni team se milne ke baad ghar pahuch gaya….jaha sab pareshan the…mujhe dekhte hi chacha mujhe lambi choudi sunane lage…chachi ne beech me aa kar unhe shant kiya….unke shant hote hi chachi khud, shuru ho gayi aur sath me meenu didi bhi….chacha uth ke gaon taraf nikal gaye.
Seema (daant kar)—tujhe kya jarurat thi thakur se jhagda karne ki….?
Raj—ab main jhagda nahi karta to kya hota ye aap bhi janti hain chachi.
Seema—aur ye police ki vardi, ye police wale….ye sab kya lafda hai….?
Raj—vo kya hai na chachi ki vo sab police wale mere dost hain….kaki aur unki ladki ko bachane ke liye maine police complain ki to unhone mujhe bhi jabardasti vardi pahna kar yaha le aaye kyon ki main thakur se darr raha tha na isliye unhe aisa karna pada.
Meenu (gusse me)—to tune theka le rakha hai kya zamane bhar ka….dekh raj hum garib log hain, …chacha, chachi, maa ye sab jab din bhar bhukhe pyase rah kar thakur ke kheto me majduri karte hain tab kahi ja kar mushkil se do waqt ki roti ka jugad ho pata hai….
Seema (nam ankhe)—Ek tujhse hi to hamari sab ki ummide hain ki tu padh likh kar kuch ban jaye to ghar ke halat sudhar jaye…hamne ghar ki kisi ladki ki shadi tak nahi ki , kyon ki dusre ke kheto me kaam kar ke do waqt ki roti ke baad jo bachta hai, vo sab tujh par kharch karte hain hum jisse tujhe koi kami na rahe….teri bahne khud kabhi kabhi bhukhi rah jati hain jisse tujhe khana kam na pade…ab agar tu aise bade bade logo se jhagda aur awara gardi karta phirega to kaise chalega…? Agar tujhe kuch ho gaya to hum sab ka kya hoga, hum to jeete ji hi marr jayenge na…?
Meenu—tujhe itni tharak chadhi hai na to aa mita le mujhse apni pyas…teri khushi ke liye hum ye bhi kar lenge.
Raj (sir jhuka kar)—sorry chachi, sorry didi….aaj ke baad main kisi ki taraf dekhunga bhi nahi…promise..aap dono ki kasam…..vaise bhi aap sab mujhe galat samajh rahe hain.
"Main Kaisa Hu, Ye Koi Nahi Janta,
Main Kaisa Nahi Hu,
Ye To Shahar Ka Har Shakhs Bata Sakta Hai."
Meenu—dekh lo chachi….hum yaha pareshan hain aur iss nalayak ko shayari karne ki sujh rahi hai.
Raj—theek hai main chalta hu….nahi to vaha maa aur mami bhi pareshan hongi.
Meenu—ruk, vo sheetal bhi aa rahi hai….usko bhi apne sath le kar jana.
Raj (shocked)—kyaaaaa….? Vo james bond yaha kyo aa rahi hai….? Usko kaise malum ki main yaha hu…?
Sonam—didi ne bataya..
Raj—kya kya bataya usko... ?
Meenu—sab bataya...to kya karti... ? tu hamari to sunta nahi kuch, isliye mujhe sheetal ko phone karna pada....ek vahi hai jo tere kaan nochti hai.
Raj (sir pakad ke)—ho gaya sab bantadhar... !
Seema—tu baith main tere liye kuch khane ko lati hu…..mina tu pani to le aana jara.
Meenu—theek hai chachi..
Chachi aur didi kitchen ki taraf mud kar jane lagi aur main dono ko jate huye dekhne laga….chalte huye dono ki gaand ke hilte huye bade bade chutad dekh mera lund khushi se tantana gaya.
Raj (lund sahlate huye)—wow…..didi aur chachi dono ki kyaaaa mast gaand hai…..?
Meri baat ko shayad didi aur chachi ke alawa sonam ne bhi sun liya….teeno meri taraf ghur ke dekhne lagi…mujhe lund sahlate dekh teeno ki ankhe choudi ho gayi.
Sonam (ghurte huye)—bhaiyaaaa…!
Seema (shocked)—kyaaa kaha tune abhi…..?
Raj—nahii…nahiii…maine kuch nahi kaha…main ab sudhar gaya hu…tum dono ki kasam.
Meenu (mushkurate huye mann me)—ye saand kabhi nahi sudharne wala.
Maine apni team ko bhi ghar bula liya….sab ne jwar ki roti, namak aur achaar ke sath daba ke khaya kyon ki sabzi ke darshan sirf teej tyohar me hi ho pate the….halanki chachi aur didi, meri chodu gang ko asli police wale samajh kar namak roti khilane me sankoch kar rahi thi, ki jane kya kya sochenge vo hamare bare me….ya phir kahi sukhi roti dekh kar hamari garibi ka mazak na udaye…?
Khane ke baad hum sab gaon me lala ki dukan par aa ke baith gaye…aaj huyi ghatna ki vajah se lala bhi chupchap hath jod kar aav bhagat karne me lag gaya hamari warna vo madarchod to mujhe dekhte hi dukan hi band kar deta tha pahle… maine taak jhaank kar ke dekhne ki koshish ki shayad lala ki koi bahu dukan me ho andar lekin nahi dikhi…maine lala se pata karne ka soch hi raha tha ki tab tak meenu didi ka call aa gaya.
Raj—hello
Meenu—kaha hai raj…? Ghar aa, sheetal bula rahi hai tujhe.
Raj—achcha, vo james bond ki jasus aa gayi….vaise mizaz kaisa hai madam ka….?
Meenu—bahut garam mood me hai.
Raj—tab to main nahi aane wala…mujhe apna tabla nahi bajwana hai.
Meenu—hum sab hain na tu aa ja.
Raj (gale me thook nigalte huye)—theek hai...aap kahti ho to main apni jaan jokhim me rakh ke aa raha hu...sambhal lena kaise bhi madam ko.
Meenu—theek hai tu ghar aa
Amtul—kya hua bhai.... ? aap kuch pareshan pareshan dikh rahe ho.... ?
Raj—baat hi pareshani ki hai yaar...
Raghuhalkal—kyo.... ?
Raj—arey yaar meri hitlar didi mujhe dhoondte huye yaha tak aa gayi hai….usko jab dekho tab meri jasoosi karne ke alawa koi kaam hi nahi hai.
Iron—chalo kam se kam pata to chala ki apna saand kisi se darta bhi hai….hahahahaha
Raj—ok yaar main aata hu jaldi, unko bhi le kar
Main ghar chala jabki udhar ghar me sheetal didi ne aate hi vaha mujhe khojna shuru kar diya, tab chachi aur meenu didi ne unhe poori baat detail se batayi…poori baat sun kar sheetal didi aur bhadak gayi mere upar.
Meenu—aur vo shilpa to yaha raj se jonk ki tarah lipat ke poore gaon walo ke samne chilla chilla kar bol rahi thi ki main raj ki rakhail hu, jis ko jo karna hai kar le.
Sheetal (gusse se)—Iss Langdi ghodi ki gaand me to petrol daal ke machis maar dungi main….issi ne bigad rakha hai raj ko…pata nahi aisa kya jadu kar diya hai uss kamini ne ki raj uske liye kahi bhi pahuch jata hai apni jaan jokhim me daal ke…meri to koi parwah hi nahi hai usko….aane do usko, aaj dhang se uska ye tharkipan ka bhoot utarti hu.
Tabhi main ghar pahuch gaya…
Raj (dance karte huye)—Ye lo ji sanam hum aa gaye, aaj phir dil le ke….Itna bhi gussa karo nahi jani …….aaaauuuuchchh
Sheetal (gusse me)—Chattaaaakkkkk…..Ye kya bandar ki tarah uchhal raha hai….kyo aaya yaha tu…? Vaha hum sab tujhe dhoond rahe the gaon me, mama ki kal ki shadi hai aur tu yaha uss langdi kutiya ke piche dum hilata phir raha hai.
Raj (apne gaal sahlate huye-mann me)—Sala Itne achche gaane ki maa chud gayi.
Sheetal (gusse me)—Aur tera ye police walo se kya chakkar hai…? Tere paas ye vardi aur gadi aayi kaha se…? Aur tere paas vo new bike kis ki hai... ? jhuth bola to phir marungi.
Raj—vo main meenu didi aur chachi ko bata chuka hu.
Sheetal (gusse me)—Lagaau ek aur thappad.... ? Jab thakur ne teri kanpati par gun rakhi thi to vo police wale tujhe dost kyo kah ke bula rahe the…? Dekh sach sach bata de…mera dimag bahut kharab hai aur gussa mat dila…
Raj (sir jhuka kar)—asal me vo sab mere hi dost hain aur unn sab ke papa police me hain....hum chor police khel rahe the....ki tabhi ne phone kar ke bataya ki thakur ne kaki aur uss bechari shilpa ko pakad liya hai to mere dost apne apne ghar se vardi chura laye aur ye unke papa ki hi gadi hai...aur aise hum yaha aa gaye unn dono ko bachane...lekin agar koi puche to aap log vahi batana jo ki maine meenu didi ko bataya hai.
Meenu/chachi (shocked)—abhi hamse to ye kuch aur hi kahani bata raha tha... ! kitna jhuth bolta hai ye…
Sheetal—itna jaldi tere itne dost kaise ban gaye aur vo police walo ke ladke….?
Raj—vo kya hai na ki in sab ka ghar bhi jyoti madam ke ghar ke paas me hi hai, isliye jaldi dosti ho gayi.
Sheetal—aur vo bike kis ki hai….?
Raj—vo bhi mere dost ki hai.
Sheetal—mujhse ankhe mila ke bol ki vo bike kis ki hai….?
Raj—vo…vo…asal me meri hi bike hai.
Sheetal (shocked)—whatttt….? To iska matlab ki tune ab chori karna bhi shuru kar diya….?
Raj—maine koi chori nahi ki hai.
Sheetal—To Itne paise tere paas kaha se aaye bike kharidne ke liye…?
Raj—vo maine ek under ground fight me jeete the.
Sheetal (shocked)—fight me…?
Raj—hmmm…yahi sach hai.
Seema—kitne…?
Raj—20 Lakh.
Sab (shocked)—kyaaaaaaaa kaha…20 lakhhhh…..?
Raj—haan, usme se hi maine bike kharidi hai…koi chori nahi ki hai.
Sheetal—baki paise kaha hain.... ?
Raj—vo mere paas rakhe hain.
Sheetal—mujhe paise dikhana tab sochungi ki sach bol raha hai ya jhuth aur sath me gadi ke origional documents bhi..
Raj—theek hai.
Sheetal—agar ye sach hai to phir chhupaya kyo tune….?
Raj—Kyon ki aap sab mujhe hi galat samajhte ho hamesha..isliye..
"Chhupane Laga Hu Aaj Kal, Kuch Raaz Apne Aap Se
Suna Hai Kuch Log Mujhko, Mujhse Jyada Janne Lage Hain."
Sheetal—to gadi manga apni aur chal jaldi sab vaha tension me honge.
Meenu—maine maa ko phone kar ke bata diya hai ki tu raj ke sath hai.
Maine apne dosto ko vahi bula liya aur phir sab gaon se nikal pade....didi mere bagal me aage baith gayi...aur ek tak bina palak jhapkaye mujhe dekhne lagi....unke aise dekhne se mujhe unme apni sadhna nazar aane lagi.
Raj (mann me)—Ye mujhe kya ho raha hai…? Ye to meri sheetal didi hain phir kyo didi ko dekhte hi mujhe unme sadhna nazar aane lagti hai…? Aise mat dekho didi, kahi main bahak na jaau…?
"Kahi Tujhme Na Dhal Jaau, Mila Mat Yu Nazar Mujhse
Nasha Jo Ho Gaya Chahat Mein, Kaise Phir Sambhaloge Mujhe."
Main bhi driving karte huye didi ki ankho me hi kho gaya...hum dono bas ek dusre ko hi apalak dekhne me magn ho gaye… tabhi amtul bhai ki awaz se hum dono hosh me aa gaye.....didi jhenp kar dusri side dekhne lagi...maine dekha ki meri gadi to road se niche utar ke gaddho ke upar hichkole khate chal rahi hai aur aage ek ped se takrane hi wali thi...maine jaldi se brake laga ke gadi ko ghumaya aur main road par phir aa gaye hum.
Amtul (jor se)—raj, tumhara dhyan kidhar hai bhai... ?
Raj—sorry vo main kuch sochne laga tha..isliye dhyan nahi raha.
Sheetal—tum sab ke naam kya hain aur kya kaam karte ho... ?
Amtul—raj ne bataya to tha ghar me ki hum police wale hain….mera naam amtul hai, ye siraj, ye iron man, ye raghuhalkal aur ye jitu hai.
Sheetal—Jyada jhuth bologe to maar maar ke thobda bigad dungi….raj ne mujhe tum logo ke bare me sab bata diya hai.
Amtul (dhire se)—raj ne to hamse yahi bataya tha ki usne ghar me hame police wala bataya hai….phir ye dusri picture kab release ho gayi…?
Siraj (dhire se)—pata nahi yaar…kya lafda hai…?
Raghuhalkal (dhire se)—mujhe to ye didi atom bomb lagti hai....tabhi saand inse itna darta hai.
Sheetal (daant kar)—Ye kya khusar fusar kar rahe ho…? Aur jo pucha hai vo batao, samajh gaye…?
Raj—kyo mere dosto ko pareshan kar rahi ho didi….?
Sheetal—tu chupchap gadi chala nahi to muh tod dungi tera…..haan to, ab batao tum logo ke papa koun se police thane me duty karte hain….?
Sab (shocked)—hamare papa vo bhi police me…..?
Raj—didi jab sab ka ghar jyoti madam ke area me hai to jahir baat hai ki mere dosto ke papa bhi unke hi thane me duty karte honge… (ankh maar kar)—kyo dosto, sahi kaha na maine….?
Iron—haan..haan bilkul sahi bataya bhai aapne.
Jitu (dhire se)—Ye raj marwa dega aise me…!
Siraj—hum sab college student hain.
Tabhi vaha road ke kinare lage pani puri ke thela par kuch chikni ladkiya mini skirt pahne pani puri kha rahi thi….to mera dhyan unki chikni chikni jangho ko dekhne me lag gaya….magar ye sab didi ne dekh liya aur unka mood phir garam ho gaya….sath me chodu gang ne bhi mujhe unn ladkiyo ko ghurte dekh liya tha.
Sheetal (gusse me)—chataakkkkk….kaha dhyan hai tera…huuunnn…?
Raj—kya didi..jab dekho maarti hi rahti ho..
Sheetal—to maar khane wali harkate hi kyo karta hai…?
Raghuhalkal—hihihihihi….didi ek thappad meri taraf se bhi…..hihihihi
Sheetal (gusse me)—Ek thappad lagaungi to poori battisi nikal ke bahar aa jayegi…
Raghuhalkal (muakh ke dhire se)—Ye to sach much bahut danger didi hai….ab samajh me aaya ki ye saand inke samne kyo bhigi billi ban jata hai.
Jitu (dhire se)—bhai ye didi atom bomb nahi balki nuclear bomb hai.
Amtul (dhire se)—main to kahta hu ki jaldi se nikal lo warna apna bhi thappad khane ka number lag sakta hai.
Siraj—sahi kaha bhai
Iron—raj…bas yahi rok do.
Maine hotel se kuch pahle hi gadi rok di jisse didi ko hotel ka pata na chale warna phir mujhe thappad khana pad jata.. sab gadi se niche utar gaye.
Raj—gadi le jao….meri bike khadi hai na …tumhare ghar me...main usse chala jaunga.
Siraj—nahi...gadi tum apne paas rakho...didi bhi hain, samjha karo.
Sheetal—tum log ko bhi kal shadi me aana hai...mujhe koi bahana nahi chahiye..samajh gaye sab
Iron—theek hai didi.
Sheetal—chalo raj.
Raj—main subah aunga sab ko lene…ready rahna…ok good night
Main didi ko le kar mama ke yaha chala gaya….ghar pahuchte hi kisi ko dekh kar mera dimag gusse aur nafrat se jhanjhana utha.
(3022 Words)
