SAAND
UPDATE- 173
Insaan, jo sukh..jo anand ek baar prapt kar leta hai…chitt (mann) ussi anand ki punaravritti ki maang bar bar karta hai… yahi insan ki sabse badi kamjori hai…chitt ke hatho majbur ho kar main bhi apni sadhana (sheetal) ko bar bar barambar bhogna chahta tha.
Shayad yahi vajah thi ki Sheetal didi ke jhadne ke baad bhi meri ungliya uss ufanti nadi me barambar utarti rahi aur usme tairte huye dubki lagati rahi.
Aise hi karte karte main bhi apne lower me hi skhalit ho gaya aur nidhal ho kar sheetal didi ke upar hi dher ho gaya… agli subah jab neend khuli to…..
Ab aage……
Subah jab meri neend khuli to maine dekha ki sab soye huye the abhi…maine mobile me time dekha to subah ke 5 baje huye the….sheetal didi mere paas nahi thi….mere dil me sadhana ki yaad phir se taro taza ho uthi..
Raj (mann me)—mujhe sadhana ko dhoondna hoga..vo jarur jaipur me hi rahti hogi….lekin vo jaipur me kaha rahti hai, mujhe to ye bhi nahi pata…? Ho sakta hai ki vo morning walk karne ke liye jaye…? Yahi sahi mouka hai, sab soye huye hain aur sheetal didi bhi iss samay mere paas nahi hain, shayad bathroom gayi hongi…agar unhone dekh liya to mujhe ghar se bahar nikalne hi nahi dengi…chupchap khisak leta hu…ho sakta hai ki aaj mujhe meri zindagi mil jaye..
Mann me ye soch kar aur mouka theek dekh kar main room se dabe paon bahar nikla…Bahar nikalte hi minakshi didi mil gayi jo shayad abhi abhi bathroom se nikli thi…mujhe itni subah bahar jate dekh kar vo thoda chounk kar jaldi se mere paas aa gayi….
Minakshi—rajjj…itni subah subah kaha ja rahe ho….?
Raj (mann me)—(lambi saans le kar)…ohhh…thank god…ye minakshi didi hain…main to darr hi gaya tha ki kahi sheetal didi ne to mujhe bahar jate nahi dekh liya…?
Raj—vo kuch nahi didi….bas morning walk karne ja raha tha….morning walk sehat ke liye fayde mand hota hai na..aur vaise bhi police walo ko morning walk karna jaruri hota hai…
Minakshi—theek hai…phir main bhi chalti hu tumhare sath…
Raj—nahi..nahi…aap kya karogi mere sath ja kar…bahar bahut thandi hai…aap rahne do..
Minakshi—tumne hi to kaha ki subah ghumna fayde mand hota hai…aaj main bhi chalungi tumhare sath..
Raj (tension)—nahi didi..aap rahne do…warna ho sakta hai ki mouke ka fayda utha kar main raste me hi aap ko nangi dekhne ki demand kar baithu..
Minakshi—to kya hua…maine to kal hi tumse promise kar diya tha…aao abhi dekh lo..sab so rahe hain to mouka bhi hai.. main nangi hone ko taiyar hu..
Ye kah kar minakshi didi mera hath pakad kar mujhe bathroom me khich le gayi aur darwaja band kar ke apne kapde utarne lagi to maine jaldi se unka hath pakad liya…vo hairan ho kar mujhe dekhne lagi..
Raj—didi, ye kya kar rahi ho…?
Minakshi (hairan)—tumne hi to kaha tha ki tum mujhe nangi dekhna chahte ho…tumhari ussi khwahish ko poori kar rahi hu…
Raj—nahi didi…aisa mat karo…kuch bhi ho, aap meri badi bahan ho…dusra aap kisi aur ko chahti ho…ye aap apni khushi se nahi balki majburi me isliye kar rahi ho taaki main aap ki problem ko solve karne me madad karu…main itna gira hua nahi hu ki kisi ki majburi ka fayda uthau…aur aap to phir bhi meri didi ho…stop this.
Koi aur waqt hota to shayad main ye sunahri mouka kabhi hath se nahi jane deta…kintu iss samay mere dilo dimag par sadhana ka nasha poori tarah se havi tha…minakshi didi ka iss tarah kapde utarna , na jane kyo mujhe achcha nahi laga, isliye maine unhe aisa karne se rok diya.
Minakshi—tumne hi to shart rakhi thi meri madad karne ke badle me…to kya ab tum meri help nahi karoge…?
Raj—karunga, jarur karunga…aap tension mat lo....jisse aap pyar karti ho, usko bhi sab samjha dena...aur haan, vaise vo karta kya hai... ? uska number mujhe de do..main bhi usse mil lunga..
Minakshi—vo..****college me padhta hai…theek hai main tumhe uska number send kar deti hu..
Raj—theek hai….main gadi se ja raha hu….ghumne ke baad lage hath usse bhi mil lunga…lekin use abhi mere baare me kuch mat batana..
Minakshi—ok
Raj—aur haan, kisi ko mere city jane ke baare me mat batana…sheetal didi ko to bilkul bhi nahi..
Minakshi—main janti hu..ki tum sheetal se bahut darte ho….theek hai nahi bataungi…
Raj—ab atom bomb se koun nahi darega..vahi hai vo…vaise hain kaha vo iss samay…?
Minakshi—mami ke paas so rahi hain..
Raj (shocked)—kyaaa…sheetal didi..maa ke sath so rahi hain…? Khair chalo achcha hai…ok bye…
Main jaldi se gadi me baith kar bahar nikal gaya…gadi chalate huye halanki mujhe pith me dard ho raha tha…magar ye dard sadhana ke jinda hone ki khushi ke aage bahut feeka tha…vo to achcha hua ki thandi ka mousam hone ki vajah se maine jacket, uske andar swetter, uske andar shirt, uske andar inner aur phir uske andar baniyan..itne saare kapde pahan rakhe the, jiske karan goli ka kuch hissa hi meri body me ghusa tha..warna mera to raam naam satya hai ho hi jana tha kal.
Jaipur pahuchne ke baad main gadi chalate huye uski galiyo ki khakh chhanne laga…charo taraf kohra chhaya hua tha jiske karan kuch bhi nazar nahi aa raha tha…aur agar aa bhi raha tha to kafi dhundhla jo dikhayi dena ya na dena, ek barabar hi tha.
Main aise hi jaipur ki sadko par poora din bina kuch khaye piye paglo ki tarah bhatakta raha…kabhi iss area me to kabhi uss area me….jaha gadi nahi ja sakti thi vaha paidal hi ghumne lag jata….
Jaise hi ek gali se nirash ho kar dusri gali me ghusta to anayas hi mere dil ki dhadkan tez ho jati, iss ummid me ki shayad iss gali me mujhe meri sadhana jarur mil jayegi..
Bas issi asha aur nirasha ke bhanwar me dubte utaraate huye main din bhar shaam ka andhera hone tak sadhana ki ek jhalak pane ki ummid liye bechaini se dar dar ghumta raha….yaha tak ki koi mujhe disturb na kare isliye apna phone bhi switched off kar liya tha.
Poora din bhatakne ke baad bhi sadhana ka kuch ata pata nahi chala…tab nirash ho kar vapis loutne laga…tabhi raste me meri nazar ek park par gayi jaha kafi chahal pahal thi…ye dekh kar mere mann me phir se ek ummid jaag uthi.
Raj (mann me)—ho sakta hai ki sadhana…shaam ko park me ghumne gayi ho…? Mujhe park me ja kar dekhna chahiye..
Bas phir kya tha, maine gadi ko vapis city ki taraf mod diya aur jaipur aur uske aas paas jitne bhi park the, vaha ja ja kar sadhna ki talash karne laga….magar har jagah mujhe mayushi hi hath lagi.
Akhir thak haar kar main ek jagah chupchap baith gaya…raat ke 10 baj rahe the…baithe baithe hi main sadhana ke sath bitaye khush numa lamho ki yaado me kho gaya…uski yaado me khoye huye hi meri ankhe anshuo se bhig chuki thi…. tabhi kisi ne mere kandhe par hath rakha to mera dhyan bhang hua..
Maine ankhe khol kar dekha to ye firefox tha…vo mujhe itne samay yaha dekh kar chakit tha…lekin mere mann me koi bhaav paida nahi hua kyon ki mere dimag par sadhna kabza jamaye huye thi.
Firefox—kya baat hai bhai…? Aap ki ankhe bhigi kyo hain….? Aur bhai, aap itni raat me yaha akele…?
Raj (nam ankhe)—kuch nahi dost…bas kisi ki talash kar raha tha..
"Tamaam Logo Ko Apni Apni Manzil Mil Chuki,
Kambakht Hamara Dil Hai, Ki Ab Bhi Safar Me Hai."
Firefox—wah..wah…kya andaz hai..gajab…
Raj—Hamara Andaz Koi Na Lagaye, To Hi Theek Hoga..
Kyon Ki Andaz To Barisho Ka Lagaya Jata Hai, Toofan Ka Nahi..
Firefox—lagta hai ki bhai ko mohabbat ho gayi hai kisi se…?
Raj—Mohabbat Kab Ho Jaye, Kise Pata…
Haadse Puch Kar Nahi Hua Karte…
Firefox—koun hai vo khush nasib jisne hamare yaar ka dil chori kiya hai…?
Raj—vo sab chhodo…aur ye batao ki tum yaha kaise…?
Firefox—bas bhai aaj didi ke yaha se lout raha tha aur pine ka mann kar raha tha to aa gaya…yaha se jate huye aap ki gadi dikhi to khojte huye yaha bhi pahuch gaya…
Raj—hmmm…ye baat hai…
Firefox—lekin aapne meri baat ka jawab nahi diya…aap yaha kya kar rahe ho…?
Raj—kuch nahi yaar….bataya to abhi ki talash kar raha tha..
Firefox—bhai aapne to bahut mall chhane hain..yaha bhi jarur koi jugad ki talash me hi aaye hoge..hihihi
Raj—Sun Pagal,
Ye Dil Badi Bebas Cheez Hai,
Dekhta, Sab Ko Hai,
Par Dhoondta Sirf Usko Hai...
Firefox—to phir chalo..sath me ek ek jaam ho jaye aaj…
Mera mann to nahi tha lekin firefox ke bar bar kahne par main bhi uske sath chala gaya…..ek ghante tak vahi teachers ka full bottle pine ke baad hum vapis lout chale…firefox apni bike se nikal gaya.
Khali pet daru pine se raste me mujhe ulti aane lagi aur sir ghumne lag gaya..to maine road ke ek side khadi khadi kar ke pahle khud ko halka kiya..phir pani ki bottle se sir ko dhoya aur chal diya…sir ab bhi ghum raha tha..ankho ke samne saaf saaf dikhayi nahi de raha tha..phir bhi gadi chalaye ja raha tha beech beech me pani se muh dho dho kar…
Magar phir bhi daru ka nasha mere upar havi hota chala ja raha tha…ab to halat aise ho chuke the ki mujhe samne har cheez double nazar aa rahi thi…tabhi samne se koi car aati dikhi jiski mujhe char light dikhayi de rahi thi jo ki ek barabar me jal rahi thi….
Tabhi achanak na jane kaha se ek ullu udte huye aa kar mere bilkul samne gadi ke bonut par baith gaya…maine accident bachane ke liye gadi ko jaldi se kinare ki taraf turn kiya to vah kisi dusri hi road par chadh gayi.
Nashe ki halat me mujhe iss baat ka hosh hi nahi tha ki main kisi aur hi sadak par aa chuka hu…bas main gadi ko daudaye ja raha tha..na to speed par dhyan tha aur na hi disha par…meri ankhe lagatar bojhil hoti ja rahi thi.
Main adhkhuli ankho se kab tak drive karta raha..vo ullu uske baad kaha gaya…? Iss sab ka mujhe koi dhyan nahi tha.. akhir kisi registan jaisi kisi jagah par pahuch kar meri gadi apne aap hi ruk gayi..gadi rukte hi main neend ki agosh me samata chala gaya.
Udhar raat me mere sote hi sheetal didi jaldi se mere niche se nikal kar apne kapde theek kiye aur bathroom chali gayi.. vaha pahuch kar rone lagi dhire dhire…shayad ab unki uttejana shant hone ke baad vo hosh me aa chuki thi aur unhe bhitar hi bhitar glaani mahsoos ho rahi thi.
Sheetal (rote huye mann me)—ye kya ho gaya tha mujhe…? Main ye soch bhi kaise sakti hu…mere sath itni giri huyi harkat raj ne ki kaise…?…main raj ko aage badhne se rok kyo nahi payi…? Uske karib jate hi main bahakne kyo lagti hu…? Pahle hamare beech jo bhi chhed chhad huyi, uski baat alag thi…tab main ye nahi janti thi ki raj mera chota bhai hai…kintu ab to main ye raaz janti hu…mujhe raj ko rokna chahiye tha….ye paap hai…mujhe apni bhavnao par kabu kar ke aur bhi strict hona padega…ab se jitna ho sake main raj se door se hi baat karungi aur aaj se uske paas letungi bhi nahi….aaj to meri izzat lutte lutte bach gayi…achcha hua ki raj ko neend aa gayi warna na jane aaj kya anarth ho jata….raj mere sath aisi ghatiya harkat karne ki soch bhi kaise sakta hai…? Subah hone do, phir batari usko…utarti hu uski hawash ka bhoot..
Mann me ye sab sochte huye vo bathroom se fresh ho kar vapis aane ke baad sidhe maa ke bagal me ja kar let gayi… subah neend khulne ke baad jab main unko kahi nahi dikha to vah mere baare me puchne lagi.
Sheetal—maa..tumhara vo ladla kaha hai…?
Malti—beti..vo subah subah gaon ghumne nikal gaya hai kahi…..aa jayega thodi der me..
Sheetal (mann me)—lagta hai ki iss gaon me bhi aate hi muh marna chalu kar diya usne…jarur kahi apna muh kala karne gaya hoga….apne jaisa hi yaha bhi dost dhoond liya usne uss firefox ko, aate hi….jarur dono ek sath honge..kisi na kisi ladki ke piche…
Kanchan—lekin bhabhi, raj ki gadi bhi nahi hai….gaon me gadi se ghumne ka kya matlab hai vo bhi itni subah…?
Ye sunte hi sheetal ka para aur high ho gaya…vo daud kar bahar gayi to sach me use gadi kahi khadi nahi dikhi to palat kar phir andar aa gayi.
Sheetal (naraz hote huye)—dekh liya maa apne laad pyar ka natiza...! main kitna kahti ki iss saand ko jyada pyar karne ki bajaye subah shaam char char chappal lagaya karo, tabhi ye sudhrega..lekin meri baat to aap manti nahi…usne kaha ki main morning walk karne ja raha hu aur tumne jane diya use, vo bhi gadi le kar…? Vo kahi morning walk par nahi gaya… jarur jaipur gaya hoga…
Malti—mere upar kyo bhadak rahi hai…? Mujhse puch kar thodi hi gaya hai vo…
Sheetal—to phir maa, tumhe kaise malum ki vo morning walk par gaya hai…?
Malti—vo minakshi ko bata kar gaya hai…vo subah 5 baje hi nikal gaya jab sab log so rahe the…
Sheetal (shocked)—kyaaaa…? (mann me)..kahi aisa to nahi ki raat me raj ne jo kuch mere sath kiya, vo sab jaan bujh kar kiya ho aur neend me hone ka bahana karta taha ho…? Jarur yahi baat hai..isliye vo mere uthne se pahle hi chupchap ghar se khisak gaya….aane do aaj…chappal maar maar ke tarike se ilaz karti hu…chhee, kaisa bhai hai, lanat hai aise bhai par..
Mann me ye khyal aate hi sheetal ka gussa aas maan chhune laga…vo gusse me ja kar chupchap let gayi aur mere aane ka intazar karne lagi….dekhte hi dekhte dophar ho gayi to baki sab chinta karne lage lekin sheetal ka gussa thanda hone ki jagah badhta hi ja raha tha…
Malti—sheetal, phone laga ke pata to kar ki kaha hai ..kab tak ayega…? Dophar ho chuki hai..
Sheetal (gussate huye)—mujhe nahi lagana koi phone…aaye ya na aaye…tumne hi usko bigada hai tumhi jano…
Malti—ragini beta…tu hi phone laga ke pata kar thodi..
Maa ke kahne par ragini ne phone lagaya lekin number band ja raha tha…thodi thodi der ke antaral me maa kabhi ragini se to kabhi minakshi se phone lagwati rahi kintu har bar result vahi milta.
Sheetal (gusse se mann me)—kamine ne jaan bujh kar phone band kar rakha hai jisse mujhse baat na karni pade…lekin kab tak mujhse bachta phirega…? Lout ke to ayega ghar hi na…phir maza chakhati hu tujhe….
Dhire dhire dophar bhi dhal gayi aur shaam ka padarpan hone laga tab sheetal ko bhi thodi tension hone lagi…baki sab to pareshan the hi…jaise jaise shaam gujarti ja rahi thi vaise vaise sheetal ki tension bhi ussi anupat me badh rahi thi..akhir shaam ke baad raat ka andhera apna samrajya phailane laga to usne pareshan ho kar phone lagana shuru kiya.. par phone chalu hota tab to lagta…
Sheetal (tension me sochte huye)—kahi phir se kisi se jhagda to nahi kar liya isne….?
Phir usko black star ki dhamki wali baat yaad aayi to uska dil buri tarah badi tezi se dhak …dhak…dhak..dhak karne laga.. ghabrahat aur ek anjane darr se uski ankho se anshuo ki aviral dhara bah chali…
Sheetal (mann me)—nahi..ye nahi ho sakta…..ye bhagwan, mujhe raj ki bahan bana kar iss duniya me kyo bheja..? aur agar bheja bhi tha to ye raaz mere hi samne kyo ujagar kiya ki main uski bahan hu…? Kam se kam iss tarah tadapna to nahi padta…
"Duniya Mein Itni Rashme Kyon Hain..
Pyar Agar Zindagi Hai To Isme Kasme Kyon Hain..
Mujhe Batata Kyon Nahi Ye Raaz Koyi..
Dil Agar Apna Hai To Kisi Aur Ke Bas Mein Kyon Hai."
Sheetal ke dil me bechaini thi ki badhti hi ja rahi thi….ghar ke andar ab uska mann hi nahi lag raha tha…jab kuch nahi sujha to usne jaldi apne anshu poche jisse ki koi unhe dekh na paye aur phir ek kursi utha kar bahar aangan me baith gayi.
Kursi par baithe huye hi usne upar akash ki taraf nazre ghumayi…akash par badlo ke chote chote tukde tair rahe the… aur kuch unchayi par cheel jaisa ek pakshi ud raha tha…jo ki raat ki kratrim roshni me clear dikhayi nahi de raha tha…cheel ko dekhte hi usne apni nazre fauran niche kar li…lekin dil ki halat ab pahle se bhi adhik kharab ho chali thi…sath me uski ek ankh bhi phadakne lag gayi thi…jisne sheetal ki ghabrahat ko charam tak pahucha diya tha.
Sheetal (mann me)—na jane mera dil kyo ghabra raha hai... ? meri ankh bhi fadak rahi hai..aur ab to maine akash me udti huyi cheel bhi dekh li...bhagwan, mere raj ki hifajat karna....na jane aaj kya hone wala hai.... ?
Vahi dusri taraf....
Jaisalmer pahuchne ke baad sadhana aur baki log ek hotel me room book kar ke ruk gaye...sadhana ka mann behad ashant tha...room me pahuchte hi samaan rakh kar vo bathroom me ghus gayi.
Vaha se taro taza ho kar bahar nikli aur phir dressing table ke samne khadi ho kar apne baal sanwarne lagi...uske baal ghane kale, behad chamkile aur reshmi the...lambe itne ki kamar tak aate the...baalo par brush ferte ferte uski nazar apne chehre par thahar gayi.
Kafi dino ke baad usne apne chehre par nazar dali thi...jab se uske sath inn rahasyamay ghatnao ka silsila shuru hua tha, tab se usko apni sudh budh hi kaha rah gayi thi.
Sadhana itni sundar thi ki koi usko agar ek nazar dekh le to bar bar use dekhne ki khwahish karne lag jaye...safed gulabi rang, khubsurat akarshak ankhe, ghani aur lambi palke, gulab ki pankhudiyo se khubsurat hoth, chaand sa chehra, lambi hasin gardan, maansal gora badan, nazuk hath, komal pair, chaal aisi ki jise dekh kar waqt apni raftaar bhool jaye, awaz aisi ki jo sun le to sunte hi mantra mugdh ho kar rah jaye....kul mila kar rang roop, youvan aur soundarya ka bharpoor saagar thi sadhana.
Ye sach tha ki sadhana koi shahzadi to nahi thi lekin phir bhi uska roop youvan pari lok ki pariyo ko bhi maat dene wala tha....Iss waqt vah khud ko itni pyari lag rahi thi ki vo apne aap me hi kho gayi....jab brush hath se chhut kar niche gira tab usko hosh aaya...phir usne jaldi jaldi apne baal sanware aur phir room se nikal kar sab ke sath nasta karne chali gayi.
Nasta karne ke baad vo apne room aa kar chahal kadmi karne lagi...tahalte tahalte achanak use apni uss kale kamre wali diary ka khyal aaya. To usne apne bag se usko nikal kar bistar me baith gayi aur phir uska ek ek page palat palat kar dekhne lagi..iss ummid me ki shayad kisi page par kuch likha mil jaye.
Lekin kisi bhi page par kuch bhi likha hua dikhayi nahi diya to nirash ho kar usne diary ko vapis bag me rakh diya...aur bed par let gayi..karne ko abhi kuch tha nahi aur sochne ko bahut kuch tha...sochte sochte uski ankho me neend utarne lagi.
Abhi vah theek se so bhi nahi payi thi ki ghabra kar uth baithi...uski samajh me nahi aa raha tha ki usne abhi abhi koi khwab dekha hai ya phir ye sab usne jagte huye dekha hai... ?
Usne dekha ki vah kisi khandahar me patthar par leti huyi hai...chaand poore youvan par hai aur har taraf chamgadare ud rahi hain..ek do chamgadar uski taraf bhi lapki thi...ki tabhi uski neend khul gayi.
Neend khulte hi uski halat badi hi ajib si ho rahi thi...dil kisi anjane bhay se ghabra raha tha…uski samajh me kuch nahi aa raha tha, ki ye sab kya aur kyo ho raha hai uske sath... ?
Lekin ye ghabrahat kuch ajib kism ki thi..ek bechaini si thi mann me…jaise ki kuch anhoni hone wali ho ya phir ho chuki ho….magar uski suchna abhi tak pahuchi na ho.
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