★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2024 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Mak]

Story: Writer

Written by: Hell Strom

A brilliant read! The story's captivating narrative keeps readers engrossed throughout. After reading it twice, I found myself amazed by the clever connections you've woven. It reminded me of Byomkesh Bakshi's tales.

However, I couldn't help but feel some aspects were left unresolved. For instance, what was Farhad's involvement? It seems the initial murders were merely a ploy to grab Keshav's attention, but perhaps there could have been a deeper motive behind the methane bombing plot. Nisha's role as a chemical engineer could have been explored further, clarifying whether she was coerced or complicit in the bombing plan.

I admit that maybe I am thinking way too much, maybe I am overanalyzing, but I couldn't shake the feeling that certain elements of the story could have been elucidated for greater clarity. Anyway, Ignore my weird thoughts, sometimes my mind does things like that. Nevertheless, these are just personal musings; the brilliance of your story remains undeniable.

patil ne uske baad bta diya ki ******* chowk ke paas do laash mili hain abhik ne turant gaadi nikali orjaane ke liye ready hogaye tab hi keshav ne abhik se kha ki fatima ko bhi saath lejaana hoga keshav ka khena maante hue abhik ne fatima ko bhi saath liya or gaadi seedhe jaakar ruki ******* chowk

Additionally, please refrain from using asterisks to mask any names mentioned in the story. It disrupts the reading flow. Instead, feel free to substitute with a random place name found via a quick online search. Police from that area are not gonna send any copyright claims. Also, don't give too many gaps between paragraphs, it was a little irritating.

Last but not least, I would like to say that your exceptional writing talent shines brightly in this story, demonstrating your mastery of the craft. Keep pushing forward and continue to produce more captivating work.

Best wishes for success in the contest!

 

[Raj_sharma]

STORY: भूलभुलैया
WRITER : ADIRISHI

Mugdha . Yahi naam tha uska jo dev ke sapno me aati thi. Ab use chudail kahe chahe Dev jo ki kahani ka nayak hai uski swapn-sundari.
Ek aglag hi kahani or ek alag hi character. Kya kahu kya na kahu is writer ne nisabd kar diya hai. Kisi lekhak ki kalpna kuch bhi ho sakti hai. Lekin kalpana or hakikat dono me uljha ke rakh diya is kahani ne.
Dimag tab hil jata hai jab kahani batati hai ki mugdha dev ke dimag ki upaj hai, per agar aisabhai. To wo sikke dev ke pas kaha se aaye?? Kuch to hai jo adirishi ne humse chupaya hai.
Or as a reader mai unse gujaris karunga ki is kahani ko kisi or thread khol kar aage badhaye..
Back to the story. Mujhe nahi pata ki kisko kya najar aayega per se story nujhe apni pehli line se hi apne sath bandhne me safal ho pai hai. Mai koi judge nahi hu per aher. Number count hote h to 10 out of 10 deta mai ise.
Awesome story

 

[Hell Strom]

Story: Writer

Written by: Hell Strom

A brilliant read! The story's captivating narrative keeps readers engrossed throughout. After reading it twice, I found myself amazed by the clever connections you've woven. It reminded me of Byomkesh Bakshi's tales.

However, I couldn't help but feel some aspects were left unresolved. For instance, what was Farhad's involvement? It seems the initial murders were merely a ploy to grab Keshav's attention, but perhaps there could have been a deeper motive behind the methane bombing plot. Nisha's role as a chemical engineer could have been explored further, clarifying whether she was coerced or complicit in the bombing plan.

I admit that maybe I am thinking way too much, maybe I am overanalyzing, but I couldn't shake the feeling that certain elements of the story could have been elucidated for greater clarity. Anyway, Ignore my weird thoughts, sometimes my mind does things like that. Nevertheless, these are just personal musings; the brilliance of your story remains undeniable.



Additionally, please refrain from using asterisks to mask any names mentioned in the story. It disrupts the reading flow. Instead, feel free to substitute with a random place name found via a quick online search. Police from that area are not gonna send any copyright claims. Also, don't give too many gaps between paragraphs, it was a little irritating.

Last but not least, I would like to say that your exceptional writing talent shines brightly in this story, demonstrating your mastery of the craft. Keep pushing forward and continue to produce more captivating work.

Best wishes for success in the contest!

Getting this much praise from the winner of usc 2k24 is quite satisying .....



And a sorry for the problem u faced while reading because of gap between the paragraphs

 

[Mak]

Getting this much praise from the winner of usc 2k24 is quite satisying .....

Just want to clearify ur doubt -

- farhad connection to the story was that u remember a call come to farhad while he was at the aarzoo's residence dont u think who called him


And a sorry for the problem u faced while reading because of gap between the paragraphs

I knew it, that call was from "The Writer" but what was the significance of that call? Was he involved with him somehow? You told us that Farhad is coming from his garage, but there was no interaction between Keshav or Abhik with him.

 

[Hell Strom]

I knew it, that call was from "The Writer" but what was the significance of that call? Was he involved with him somehow? You told us that Farhad is coming from his garage, but there was no interaction between Keshav or Abhik with him.

Writer ne hi to bataya farhad ko ki uski wife ka chakkar chal rha hai

 

[Mak]

Writer ne hi to bataya farhad ko ki uski wife ka chakkar chal rha hai

Main plan se kuch connection tha kya wo puchh raha main, ya fir first two murders kewal Keshav ke attention ke liye the.. Agar sirf attention ka case tha tab bhi sahi hai but agar kuch ulterior motive hota, to or maja aa jata..

Chhoro, kafi matha pachchi karwaye ho ju. Kahani padhke sach me maja aaya!

 

[Rajizexy]

Thanks a lot dear Mass for supporting my review.
Rajizexy's
Dohra fayda
Story is really excellent

Thanks 2:u both Mass & Jasvir for liking my story "Dohra fayda"

 

[Riky007]

Story: Battle of earth
Writer: Black

Story line: The Avengers की थीम पर लिखी हुई ये कहानी कुछ superheroes द्वारा इस धरती पर एक डेमन के हमले से बचाने की है।

Treatment: लेखक ने एक शॉर्ट स्टोरी में भी इतने किरदारों को बहुत अच्छे से स्पेस दिया है और कहानी भी बहुत कसी हुई लिखी है, कहानी में सारे रंग हैं। एक लाइन में कहूं तो सम्पूर्ण कहानी है ये।

Positive Points: पूरी की पूरी कहानी ही पॉजिटिव है।

Negative points: स्टार्टिंग थोड़ी कन्फ्यूज करती है, और थोड़ी बहुत एडिटिंग की मिस्टेक है।

Sugesstion: इस बार कोई नही

Rating: non contesting है फिर भी 9/10

 

[Riky007]

Story: Love or Lust
Writer: KnightAngel

Story line: एक युवक का सेक्स एनकाउंटर एक शादीशुदा औरत के साथ, जिसमे उसे उस औरत से प्यार भी हो जाता है।

Treatment: कहानी साफ सुथरी है, बिल्ट अप अच्छा है।

Positive points: reason for sex is solid.

Negative Points: सेक्स कहानी है

Sugesstion: कंपटीशन है भाई, कुछ हट कर लिखना था।

Rating:6.5/10

 

[Mak]

Story: "Are They still Human or ... ?"

Writer: Sanki Rajput
This piece seems more like an article than a story, drawing inspiration from a particularly gruesome incident. It appears that you have a penchant for a dark-themed story, akin to the previous one centered around cannibalism. While well-crafted, the article falls short of the 700-word requirement and may face disqualification.