Shetan
Well-Known Member
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Wow.... Thankyou so much. Rating की जरुरत नहीं है.
ये स्टोरी वैसे भी कांटेस्ट से आउट है. ये कॉमेडी स्टोरी बस रिडर्स के मनोरंजन के लिए लिखी थी. आप को पसंद आई ये मुजे बहोत अच्छा लगा.
★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2024 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★
- Thread starter Aakash.
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ये स्टोरी वैसे भी कांटेस्ट से आउट है. ये कॉमेडी स्टोरी बस रिडर्स के मनोरंजन के लिए लिखी थी. आप को पसंद आई ये मुजे बहोत अच्छा लगा.
Sanki Rajput
Abe jaa na bhosdk
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SALMAN KA JAADUI BRACELET
कहानी का करता धर्ता aka लेझेंड असलम
ये कहानी अगर गलती से भी चारो एक्टर्स ने पढ़ ली न, तो सुसाइड करना ठीक समझेंगे वो बजाए राइटर को पेलने के
कहानी का करता धर्ता aka लेझेंड असलम
ये कहानी अगर गलती से भी चारो एक्टर्स ने पढ़ ली न, तो सुसाइड करना ठीक समझेंगे वो बजाए राइटर को पेलने के
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Shetan
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वाह.... Xform के एवेंजरो वाह. माझा आ गया. मज़ेदार भी लिखा है और शानदार. भरपूर कॉमेडी भी. जबरदस्त. जितनी तारीफ करू उतनी काम है.
माझा ला दिया Black. सुपब....
पर ये स्टोरी तुम्हारी 3rd क्यों है. ये 1st होती तो जजइस का दिमाग़ भी चक्र जता.
DesiPriyaRai
Active Reader
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Shukriya Priya jee aapne meri story padhi
Aur review kiya
Ham aapka aabhari hoon
Jasien ko tudwane ki aadat hai
Isi liye use toda
Dil ko.mazbut karke padhiyega
Suraj
Aur saajan ko patience ke sath
Tabhi padh paayengi
Likhne ka style Aisa hi hai mera
Use nahi change kar sakta
likh hi nahi paaunga
Aur koi writer perfect nahi hota
Main bhi nahi hoon
Ant mein ek baar phirse aapka aabhari hoon hum
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Story: The Last Apology : A Tale Of Friendship And Regrets..
Written by: Agasthya
Let's first talk about your writing skills. You have it in you in abundance. I mean this was a pretty good story that is presented beautifully. Now, talking about the story, it didn't look like a story, it felt like a personal experience, written from the heart. I don't know if it's true or not.
I have lived away from home since childhood, so a few things made me deeply connect with your story and remember those days. Your story is making me write my experiences; believe me, it was filled with so much drama, friendship, and everything.
Pretty good story buddy, now tell me how much of this is true or it is just a creation of your mind?
for the review..
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SHOTO
I am what I am
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Story:- कौमार्य (virginity)
Writer:- Shetan
Short, simple yet elegant story and very well written, there are few typos but they can be ignored. Dialogues are beautiful, engaging and very lively. Polar opposite personality of the characters elevated this story. Character of Kavita stood out for me, her soul is as beautiful as Veer's if not more. I think set up of story in 90s or early 2000 was very good decision, people judged pureness of bride through tearing of hymen or so called virginity but little did they know hymen can be torn because of various activities.
There are no issues but if have to nitpick something then it would be over explanation, it sometimes takes charm away (I am pointing to last lines of the story, everything can be understood by last dialogue and expression of Veer). I am not a writer but as a reader I appreciate those writer who do not assume audience is stupid. Still not a major issue though.
4/5 for this beautiful story.
Writer:- Shetan
Short, simple yet elegant story and very well written, there are few typos but they can be ignored. Dialogues are beautiful, engaging and very lively. Polar opposite personality of the characters elevated this story. Character of Kavita stood out for me, her soul is as beautiful as Veer's if not more. I think set up of story in 90s or early 2000 was very good decision, people judged pureness of bride through tearing of hymen or so called virginity but little did they know hymen can be torn because of various activities.
There are no issues but if have to nitpick something then it would be over explanation, it sometimes takes charm away (I am pointing to last lines of the story, everything can be understood by last dialogue and expression of Veer). I am not a writer but as a reader I appreciate those writer who do not assume audience is stupid. Still not a major issue though.
4/5 for this beautiful story.
Story- KARMON KA FAL
Writer-VAJRADHIKARI
Review- system ka sataya hua ek pariwar....jiska mukiya jo ki system me bharw hue brasht aur lobhi aur satta k lalchi logo ka parda pash karna chata tha...lekin un logo ko uski bhanak kagane par pure pariwar ko mita diya jata hai...
Lekin unka durbhagaya ki unme se ek nawazwan bach jata hai ...aur apne mata pita k hatayaro ko KHOJ KAR unko unki niyat tak pahucha ta hai....jisko woh ek nam deta hai....KARMO KA FAL.
Writer-VAJRADHIKARI
Review- system ka sataya hua ek pariwar....jiska mukiya jo ki system me bharw hue brasht aur lobhi aur satta k lalchi logo ka parda pash karna chata tha...lekin un logo ko uski bhanak kagane par pure pariwar ko mita diya jata hai...
Lekin unka durbhagaya ki unme se ek nawazwan bach jata hai ...aur apne mata pita k hatayaro ko KHOJ KAR unko unki niyat tak pahucha ta hai....jisko woh ek nam deta hai....KARMO KA FAL.
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चौबीस घंटे "
Writer sanju (v.r.)
Kahani ek aise ladke ki jo sareer si bhari vharkam per dil ka soft. Kisi ladki se pyar karta tha jo use thukra gai. Or jeet uske gum me daaru baaji karta gaya. Ship .e as a salor kam karta or shahar se sahar or desh safar karta raha. Ant me mumbai me usi ladki ki humsakal pe dobara dil har baitha. Or 2 gundo se use bachane ke chakkar me bhid gaya.
Sanju bhaiya ne kahani me acha sama bandha hai. Halanki is kahani ke liye 7000 sabd kam padte hai nahi to kahani kuch or hi hoti kyu ki jaha tak hu. Jante hai ye is se bhi bohot acha likh sakte hai. Rahi baat is kahani ki to kahani man ko chu gai.
Awesome story
Writer sanju (v.r.)
Kahani ek aise ladke ki jo sareer si bhari vharkam per dil ka soft. Kisi ladki se pyar karta tha jo use thukra gai. Or jeet uske gum me daaru baaji karta gaya. Ship .e as a salor kam karta or shahar se sahar or desh safar karta raha. Ant me mumbai me usi ladki ki humsakal pe dobara dil har baitha. Or 2 gundo se use bachane ke chakkar me bhid gaya.
Sanju bhaiya ne kahani me acha sama bandha hai. Halanki is kahani ke liye 7000 sabd kam padte hai nahi to kahani kuch or hi hoti kyu ki jaha tak hu. Jante hai ye is se bhi bohot acha likh sakte hai. Rahi baat is kahani ki to kahani man ko chu gai.
Awesome story
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Use khud kuch na pata tumko kya batayegaकहाँ पर मिस्टेक है... बताओ मित्र
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