★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2024 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[cheekku]

Review
Story - Anokhi Kitaab
Writer - cheekku

Deathnote jaise masterpiece se inspire hokar kuch likhne ka prayas kiya, bas death note ki jagah sex note ne le li.
Rahul to sasta light yagami nikla.

Baat kahani ke plot ki karu to concept me kuch nayapan tha, lekin uska execution bahut week tha. Pehle to revenge ka motive utna strong najar nahi aaya, kyoki kuch gundo ne hero ke baap ki bachpan me badhiya se dhunai kar di, jab vo keval 4 saal ka tha aise me 20 salo tak usme badle ki aag jalti rahe iski sambhavna kam hi hai, better hota hero ki age thodi jyada dikhate yaa phir revenge ke reason ko aur strong banate jaise kisi apne ko kho dena.

Story me bhi jyada kuch hua nahi, use sex note mila and bas sabke naam likhe aur ho gya kaam. Haa jis tarah se Rahul Ashok ke Ghar me jata hai uski patni ka naam janne aur phir Ghar par najar rkhana vo acha tha.

Another thing Ashok ek takatwar politician hai, jo jald hi mantri banne vala hai, lekin uske ghar ki setting aisi hai jaise kisi middle class society me rehta ho. Dudh lene bhi Neha khud aati hai, ghar me koi bhi nokar nahi tha.

And worst thing is the ending, mtlb kya hua? itne takatwar politician ko kisi anjan ne uski biwi ka mms bhej diya aur ho gya khel khatam? Uski taraf se koi resistance nahi aaya, karne ko to vo bahut kuch kar sakta tha. Jabki use Rahul ki identity bhi saaf saaf pta chal gyi, kaisa Gunda tha ye.

Lastly I would say ki concept bahut acha choose kiya tha, lekin weak execution ki vajah se ek thriller story, bas sex story ban ke reh gyi.

Don't get angry it's just my view

thanks for the review ,,

words ki limit 7000 honay ki waja sey mein waisa nahi likh paya ... lekin kaisy bhi karky story ko forced ending di
warna mera to bilkul hee alag likhney ka plan tha ... agar 500 word aur miljatey to ending bilkul different hoti

aur rahi baat har koi alag tareekay sey bhi reh sakta hay .... zaroori nahi har ameero kay ghar par naukar ho
jaha tak dudh lene janey ka sawal hay ... to ismein koi bari baat nahi hay ,

har insan ka alag nature hota hay ... ashok neha sey behad pyar karta tha ... aur mms leak honay sey uski izaat ki waat
lag jati hay ... kaha jaye to dono taraf khayi thi jaisa kay mein ney story mein bhi bataya ,

ab adjust karlo na 7000 word mein yehi miley ga

Spoiler

abhi sexnote mein tumhara naam likhta ho

 

[Ashish Vidyarthi]

SURAJ

Spoiler

RAVEENA
mera naam raveena hai
main aur Rajesh ek dusre se bahut pyar karte the
lekin woh gareeb ghar se tha
isi liye mere pita ne meri shaadi karwa di
ranjeet se
aur yeh bhi bola ki agar maine ranjeet ke sath koi bhi galat bartaav kiya
toh woh apni Jaan de denge
mere pati bahut suljhe aur achche insaan the
lekin mujhe unse nafrat thi
main bas apne Rajesh se pyar karti thi
main suhag ki sej pe baithi thi
woh aaye aur unhone mera ghughat uthaya
pata nahi kyun unki baatein sunke
mera dil paseej gaya
woh mujhe apne baare mein bata rahe the
aur baar baar yahi keh rahe the
ki woh mujhe humesha khush rakhenge
phir kuchh der baatein karne ke baad
unhone mujhse anumati maangi
main kuchh nahi boli
tabhi mujhe pitaji ki baat yaad aayi
aur maine unhein anumati de di

ek saal baad Taniya paida hui
aur main apni family life.mein busy ho gayi
mujhe Rajesh ki yaad aati thi
lekin mere pati ranjeet bhi mujhse bahut pyar karte the
isi liye.main ab Rajesh ko bhoolne lagi thi

meri shaadi ko do saal beet chuke the

ek din ek mall mein mujhe Rajesh dikha
use dekhte hi main use pehchaan gayi
woh mujhse baat karna chahta tha
lekin mere pati ko dekhke woh peechhe hat gaya

kayi din beet gaye

ek din Rajesh mere ghar aagaya

maine.usse kaha ki chala.jaaye
lekin usne mujhe apni baaho mein bhar liya
aur mujhe kiss karne laga
main kuchh der virodh karti rahi
lekin phir main apne aapko rok nahi paayi
Rajesh jaise mujhe pyar karta tha
waisa kabhi mere pati ne bhi nahi kiya tha

humare beech sex hua
aur aaj itne samay baad mujhe ehsaas hua tha
ki maine sex kiya hai

us din se roz Rajesh mere ghar aane laga
aur mere sath sex karta
woh mere liye humesha orange juice leke aata
use Peete hi main sex karne ke liye tadapne lagti thi
main bhi bahut khush rehne lagi thi
din.mein Rajesh mere sath sex karta
lekin raat mein jab ranjeet aate
toh main sone ka natak karne lagti

ek raat ranjeet ne mere pair pakad liye
aur rote hue bole
mujhse koi galti Hui hai toh mujhe maaf kar do
tum mujhe daanto ek do thappad bhi maar.do
lekin mujhse aise door na raho

mera dil paseej gaya
woh mujhse kitna pyar karte the
aur waise bhi ab mere andar sex karne ki ichcha kuchh jyada hi badhne lagi thi

din mein main Rajesh ke sath sex karti
Rajesh mujhe ehsaas dilata tha ki woh mard hai aur main aurat hoon
aur wohin ranjeet mere sath aise sex karte
jaise pehli baar kar rahe ho
dheere dheere aaram aaram se
dono ke sath sex karne mein
zameen aasmaan ka farq tha
Rajesh ke sath sex karne mein mujhe bahut achcha lagta
woh mujhe Jo aanand deta tha
uski koi seema.nahi thi
kuchh dino baad main pregnant ho gayi
mere pati bahut khush hue
aur mujhe apni goad mein uthake naachne lage
kabhi kabhi mujhe unpe Daya aati thi
woh mujhse kitna pyar karte the
lekin main toh Rajesh se pyar karti thi na
isi liye

kuchh samay baad Suraj ka.janam hua
main bahut khush thi
apni Taniya aur Suraj ke sath
Taniya Suraj se do saal badi thi
ranjeet bhi bahut khush the
unka promotion bhi ho gaya tha company mein
aise hi din beetne lage

Taniya ab 7 saal ki ho chuki thi
aur Suraj 5 saal ka

main ab sex addict ho chuki thi
ek din bhi agar Rajesh nahi aata
toh.main buri tarah se tadap jaati thi
ranjeet kabhi kabhi sex nahi karte the
main raat bhar karwat badalti rehti thi

ek din Rajesh ghar pe aaya
aur mujhe apni baaho mein bhar liya

raveena
kabhi toh apne bete ko pyar kar liya karo
aate hi bas shuru ho jaate ho

Rajesh
kya karu jaan
tumse najar hi nahi hat ti
man karta hai bas tumhein pyar karta rahu

uski baatein sunke main bhavuk ho gayi
woh kitna pyar karta tha.mujhse

aur phir humne sex kiya
kuchh der usne mujhse pyar bhari baatein ki
aur phir chala gaya
uske jaate hi meri najar room ke gate pe padi
mere.hosh udd gaye
main buri tarah se ghabra gayi

mere pati ranjeet us samay room ke bahar khade mujhe dekh rahe the
woh ro rahe the

ranjeet.rote hue
shaadi ke baad ek baar keh diya hota
ki tum mujhse pyar nahi karti
tumhein azaad kar deta
meri zindagi barbaad karne ki Kya jarurat thi

main kuchh nahi bol paayi
aur rone lagi
meri samajh.mein nahi aaya
main kya bolu

ranjeet
suraj mera beta hai ki nahi

mujhe khud nahi pata tha

main bas roti rahi

ranjeet rote hue
aaj tak kabhi tumhare sath kuch galat nahi Kiya
humesha tumhein pyar kiya
aur tumne mujhe dhokha diya
tum randi nikli

yeh sunte hi mujhe aisa laga jaise
kisi ne mere seene mein khanjar utaar diya ho

ranjeet
laanat hai tum jaisi aurat pe
tum jaisi ladkiyo ne hi hum Shareef mardo ko barbaad kar rakhkha hai
kaash main bhi ek bura mard hota
apne pita ki tarah toh aaj mujhe dukh nahi sehna padta
kaash is duniya ke saare mard bure hote
toh shayad is duniya mein tum jaisi aurtein na hoti

yeh bolke woh Suraj ki taraf badhe
main ghabra gayi
aur bhaagte hue apne Suraj ko apne seene se laga li

ranjeet ne mujhe aas bhari najro se dekha


RANJEET
main bachpan se bahut Shareef aur seedha saadha ladka tha
humesha padhai pe dhyan deta tha
mere pitaji baat baat pe meri maa pe hath utha dete the
woh mujhe bhi maarte the
maine soch liya tha ki main pitaji jaisa nahi banunga main ek achcha insaan banunga

dheere dheere meri age badhti gayi
aur papa.ki.kam.hoti gayi
main humesha apni maa se kehta tha
ki woh mujhe leke yahan se bhaag jaaye
lekin maa.bechari yahi kehke taal deti
ki beta tumhare pita se main bahut Prem karti hoon
aur main unhein chhodke kahan jaaungi
unke siwa mera is.duniya mein hai kaun

meri maa mere pita se bahut pyar karti thi
dilo jaan se pyar karti thi
jab tak pitaji ghar nahi aajate the raat mein
woh khana nahi khaati thi
mere pitaji ke khaane ke baad
woh unki hi plate mein khaati thi
lekin mere pitaji is baat ka jeeta jaagta saboot the
ki is duniya mein burayi hai
woh meri maa ko aise treat karte
jaise woh unki Ghulam ho
lekin meri maa ne kabhi koi shikayat nahi ki

main us din bahut roya
tabhi bade papa mujhe dikhe
woh apne pariwar ke sath aaye the
main unse lipatke rone laga

woh mere sar ko sehlate rahe

mere papa
beta kisi bhi cheez ki jarurat ho toh
mujhe bata dena

aur phir woh chale gaye

mere pitaji mere liye zameen jayedaad chhod gaye the
main achche se padhai Kiya
aur phir ek achchi si company mein naukri karne laga
ek din mere ek dost ne mujhse kaha
mujhe ab shaadi kar leni chahiye
kab tak akayla rahunga
aur phir maine apne bade papa ko phone kiya
woh gaon mein rehte the
unki aur mere pita ki kabhi nahi bani
mere pita jitne bure the
woh utne hi achche the
unhone mera rishta tay kar diya
main raveena ki photo bhi nahi dekhi thi
meri raveena se shaadi ho gayi
aur jab maine ghughat uthaya
toh Chand sa mukhda dekhke
mera dil jhum utha

maine usse yahi vaada kiya
ki main humesha use khush rakhunga
aur phir main usse baatein karne laga
woh bas haan hoon mein jawab de rahi thi
kuchh der baad maine usse anumati maangi
usne kuchh nahi kaha

ranjeet
koi baat nahi
jab aapka man kare
tab bata dijiyega
main intezar karunga
aap kapde badal lijiye

yeh bolke main let gaya
kuchh der baad raveena ne mere kandhe pe hath rakh diya

main mudke dekha
toh woh apni najrein neeche kiye hui thi
main khushi se uchhal pada
aur phir use apni baaho mein bharke chumne laga

lekin jab main apna ling uski yoni mein daala
toh khoon nahi nikla
ek pal ke liye mujhe gussa bahut aaya
main use gusse se dekhne laga
woh bhi ghabra gayi
uski aankhon se aansu chhalak gaye

lekin phir mujhe yaad aaya ki meri maa ne kaisa jeevan jeeya tha
isi liye maine Dhyan nahi diya
aur use jitna achche se ho sakta
utna achche se pyar kiya

aise hi din beetne lage
main raveena ka jitna achche se ho sake
utna achche se khyal rakh Raha tha
raveena bhi mera poora khyal rakhti thi
aur phir meri jaan meri gudiya Taniya paida hui
main bahut khush hua
woh bilkul meri maa jaisi thi
main apni raveena aur Taniya ke sath bahut khush tha
do saal beet chuke the
humari shaadi ko
ek din maine yeh mehsus kiya
ki ab raveena mujhse Kam baat karti hai
main office se aata
woh khana nikaalke de deti
aur phir room mein jaake so jaati
main yeh sochne laga ki kya mujhse koi galti Hui hai
main jab room mein gaya toh raveena soyi hui thi
main uske pair pakad liya

ranjeet
please mujhse agar koi galti Hui hai
toh mujhe maaf kar do
tum mujhe daanto mujhe thappad bhi maaro
lekin mujhse door mat raho
main mar jaaunga

raveena ne mujhe apne seene se laga liya
ab raveena pehle jaisi ho gayi thi
woh waise hi mujhe pyar karne lagi thi
jaise main use pyar karne laga tha

suraj ab 5 saal ka ho chuka tha
aur Taniya 7 saal ki
main uska admission karwa diya tha
school mein

ek din main office se socha jaldi ghar jaake raveena ko surprise deta hoon
aur main ghar pahunch gaya
mere paas ghar ki dusri chabhi thi
main lock khola
aur apne room ke paas pahuncha
mere pairo tale zameen khisak gayi
mera sab kuchh bikhar Gaya
living room mein meri wife raveena kisi dusre mard ke sath munh kaala kar rahi thi
main saans nahi le paa raha tha
meri samajh mein nahi aaya main kya karu
main unhein roku unhein jaan se maar doon
apni Jaan de doon
aur main dusre room mein aake rone laga
meri maa humesha yahi kehti thi
ki beta kabhi bhi apni biwi pe hath mat uthana
apni biwi ko Rani ki tarah rakhna
apni biwi ko humesha pyar karna
main apne munh pe hath rakhke rota raha

kuchh der baad main utha
aur room ke paas gaya
raveena mujhe dekhte hi chaunk gayi

main usse woh sab kaha jo mere dil mein tha
kaash raveena ne mujhse maafi maang li hoti
toh shayad.main use maaf kar deta
main Taniya ko school se lene chala gaya
aur jab hum ghar pe aaye
toh main usse lipatke rone laga
woh bechari bhi rone lagi

aur phir main wahan se nikal gaya

SURAJ
main jab chhota tha tab mere papa chal base
mujhe unki bahut yaad aati thi
Rajesh uncle ko maine kabhi nahi dekha tha
aaj woh pehli baar humare ghar aaye the
unke aate hi mummy ne mujhe aur didi se bola ki jaao ghum aao

hum do ghante baad khelke jab wapas aaye
toh uncle Jaa chuke the

us din se woh roz humare ghar pe aate
aur
woh mujhe humesha paise dete the
didi ko bhi dete the
main nahi leta tha
lekin maa mujhe kehti thi
ki le lo
yeh tumhare papa ke dost hain
woh mujhe bahut achche lagne lage the
jab bhi woh mere paas hote
toh main papa ko yaad nahi karta tha

dheere dheere main bada hone laga
aur sochne laga
ki aakhir uncle kyun humare ghar aate hain
aur main yeh bhi sochta ki mummy unke aate hi humein ghar ke bahar kyun bhej deti thi
unse humara kya rishta hai
ab main 10th mein tha
aur didi 12th mein thi
ek din achanak mujhe bukhaar lag gaya
aur main teacher se bola
ki mujhe ghar jaane dijiye
teacher ne mujhe permission de di
aur main ghar aagaya
ghar andar se lock tha

main gate bajaya

mummy ne gate nahi khola
kuchh der tak

jab woh gate kholi
toh main chaunk gaya
unki ajeeb si haalat ho rakhkhi thi
poora sharir paseene se bheega hua tha
baal bikhre hue the
woh mujhe dekhte hi ghabra gayi
kapde bhi sahi nahi the unke

main
mummy aapki tabiyat toh theek hai

mummy
haan beta theek hoon
tum jaldi kaise aagaye

main
woh mujhe bukhaar laga tha
isi liye main aagaya

mummy ne mere maathe ko chhua

mummy
tumhein toh bahut bukhaar hai
aao andar aao

woh mujhe apne sath leke gayi
tabhi mujhe uncle dikhe
jo sofe pe baithe hue the

mummy ne mujhe dawayi di
aur main let gaya

kuchh der baad bahar se awajein aane lagi

mummy
Rajesh please abhi nahi
suraj room mein hai

Rajesh
toh kya hua
ek na ek din use sab pata chal hi jaayega
jaldi karo phir mujhe bhi jaana hai

mummy
Rajesh maine mana kiya na

Rajesh
toh phir theek hai
main aaj ke baad kabhi nahi aaunga
aaj se tumhara mera rishta khatam

mummy rote hue
Rajesh tum toh jaante ho
main tumse kitna pyar karti hoon
aur tum aaj yeh keh rahe ho
please mujhe chhodke mat jaao
please

Rajesh
toh phir jaldi se mera lund chuso


yeh sunte hi mere pairo tale zameen khisak gayi
main buri tarah se chaunk gaya
mujhe apne kaano pe vishwas nahi hua
sex ka poora Gyan tha mujhe

tabhi mujhe ek dost ki baat yaad aayi
yaar Suraj main kal market gaya tha
wahan Teri mummy kisi ke sath ghum Rahi thi

Suraj
kya

haan mujhe lagta hai teri mummy aur us aadmi ka chakkar chal raha hai
dono ek dusre se chipke hue the

yeh sunte hi maine use thappad maar diya

suraj
saale aaj se mujhse baat mat kariyo

aur phir maine usse dosti Tod di

main bukhaar mein tha
mera sar pehle se bhaari tha
ab aur jyada ho gaya tha

main room ka gate khola
aur saamne dekhte hi mere hosh udd gaye

meri aankhon mein khoon utar aaya

main apne room mein pada cricket bat liya

Rajesh ki peeth meri taraf thi

main maara uske sar pe bat
uske sar se khoon nikla
aur neeche zameen pe gid Gaya

mummy ki cheekh nikal gayi
mummy jis haalat mein thi
us haalat mein main unhein dekhke buri tarah se tadap gaya
woh madarzaat nangi thi

pata nahi mujhe kya ho gaya
ki maine apna aapa kho diya

aur Rajesh ke sar pe bat zor zor se maarne laga

mummy yeh dekhke buri tarah se ghabra gayi
aur rone lagi

Rajesh mar chuka tha

mummy Rajesh se lipatke rone lagi

mummy
Rajesh please uth jaao
main tumhare bina mar jaaungi
please Rajesh please
yeh tumne kya Kiya Suraj
tumne ise maar diya
main isse kitna pyar karti thi
tum khooni ho Suraj tum ek khooni ho

mummy ko yeh tak ehsaas nahi hua
ki woh mere saamne nangi hain

mummy
suraj yeh tumhara baap tha
yeh tumhara baap tha Suraj

yeh sunte hi mere pairo tale zameen khisak gayi
main buri tarah se hil gaya

Suraj
kya matlab hai aapka
yeh Mera baap kaise ho sakta hai

mummy rote hue
yeh aur main ek dusre se pyar karte the
lekin mere pita ne meri shaadi kisi aur se karwa di

main cheekhte hue
kapde pehno jaake

maa ko jaise hosh aaya
woh apne aapko chhipane lagi

main cheekhte hue apne room mein aagaya

kuchh der baad mummy room mein aayi
aur mujhe thappad maar di

mummy
khooni darinde yeh kya kiya tune

woh mujhe maarti rahi

main bhaagte hue room se bahar aagaya
aur kitchen se chaaku utha liya

mummy ghabra gayi
unhein laga shayad main unhein bhi maar dunga

main chaaku apni gardan pe laga diya

main
mummy mujhe sach jaan na hai

mummy rote hue
suraj Suraj beta chaaku neeche rakhkho
neeche rakhkho beta chaaku

main rote hue
mujhe sach batao

mummy rote hue batane lagi

main gusse se paagal ho gaya

main
mummy tum ek chhinaal aurat ho
tumse achchi toh randiya hoti hain
jo kisi ke sath pyar ka natak toh nahi karti
kya kasoor tha mere papa ka
yahi ki woh ek achche aur Shareef insaan the

mummy rote hue
Suraj meri baat suno beta

main
mujhe nahi sunna hai kuchh
samajhi tum
main jaa raha hoon police ke paas

mummy ne rote hue mere pair pakad liye
please mat jaao
mat jaao

main
tum jaisi chhinal Ke pet se janam lene ka yahi anjaam hota hai

mummy
tumhein Jo kehna hai keh lo
lekin mat jaao
tum agar gaye toh main apni Jaan de dungi

main apne room mein aake rone laga

aur phir meri mummy ne Rajesh ki laash ke kayi tukde kiye
aur use freezer mein daal diya
didi Bhi school se aagai thi

maine us din se mummy se baat karna band kar diya tha
didi se bhi baat nahi karta tha

Taniya
kya hua Aaj kal mujhse baat kyun nahi karta
sab theek toh hai
school mein agar koi pareshan kar raha hai
toh mujhe bata
saale ki taangein tod.dungi

main kuchh nahi bola
woh chali gayi

main yeh samajh nahi paaya
ki Rajesh ko police ne kyu nahi dhundha
ek aadmi gayab hua tha

ek din maine dekha ki kuchh log humare ghar aaye the
ek aurat thi mummy ki age ki
aur ek aadmi

main pehle aadmi ki najar ka peecha kiya
kahin woh meri mummy ko toh nahi dekh raha hai
lekin uski kismat achchi thi
ki woh Shareef tha

tabhi us aurat ki najar mujhpe padi
woh haramzaadi aurat mujhe line de rahi thi

mummy
beta yeh meri mama ki ladki hai Sunita
aur yeh hain inke husband aalok

Ranjeet
pehle toh kabhi nahi aayi yeh

mummy
inke pati ka abhi abhi transfer hua hai
yahan
toh yeh mujhse milne aagayi

main kuchh nahi bola
aur apne room mein aagaya

kareeb ek mahina beet chuka tha
ek din school mein meri maar peet ho gayi
principal ne mujhe bhaga diya
aur kaha ki apni mother ko leke aana
main ghar aaya
toh dekha
mummy ban sanwar ke kahin Jaa Rahi thi
Sunita aunty ke sath
saari bhi aisi pehen rakhi thi
ki mera khoon khaul gaya
aadhe boobs dikh rahe the
sleeveless blouse pehen rakhkha tha dono ne

jaise hi mummy ne mujhe dekha
ghabra gayi
aur unhein ghabrata dekh
main samajh gaya ki kya chal raha hai
jarur yeh phirse chhinala karne jaa rahi hai

Sunita
are Suraj tum school nahi gaye

woh haramzaadi jaan bujhke apni saari ka pallu side kar di
mujhe uske chuche dikhne lage

main
randi nikal yahan se
warna Aaj tujhe jaan se maar dunga

woh shocked ho gayi

Sunita
Suraj hosh mein rehke baat karo
warna achcha nahi hoga

main
madarchod

main yeh bolke kitchen mein gaya
aur chaaku leke Sunita ki taraf badha
Sunita ki gand fat gayi

woh bhaag gayi wahan se

main rote hue
mummy kyun aakhir kyun
tum apna randipana nahi chhod Rahi ho
kyun mummy kyun
ek kaam Karo yeh chaaku lo
aur mujhe jaan maar do
phir Jo chahe karti rehna

main chaaku mummy ko de diya

mummy ro padi
beta Mera vishwas karo
tum jo soch rahe ho
waisa kuchh bhi nahi hai
please mera vishwas karo

main apne room mein aagaya
aur rone laga

kuchh din aise hi beet gaye
sunita aunty ne aana band kar diya tha

main ek din main school mein tha
tabhi Taniya didi ka phone aaya
unki tabiyat kharab thi

main ghar pahuncha toh dekha Tania didi ro rahi thi
mummy Ghar pe nahi thi

suraj
kya hua

Taniya didi rote hue mujhe batane lagi
aaj main apni friend seema ke ghar gayi thi
uski mom nahi hain
woh bas apne dad ke sath rehti hai

wahan maine mummy ko dekha

yeh bolke didi cheekh cheekh ke rone lagi

Suraj
kya matlab mummy ko dekha

Taniya
Mummy seema ke dad ki girlfriend hain

koi baat nahi tum rona band karo

Taniya
main marna chahti hoon Suraj
main marna chahti hoon
mummy ke andar agar itni hi aag lagi thi
toh woh dusri shaadi kar leti

main kya bolta apni didi se
ki mujhe sab kuch pehle se pata tha

Suraj
didi tum rona band karo
band karo Rona

Taniya rote hue
ek din maine mummy ko Sunita aunty se phone pe baat karte suna
ki haan haan main rustam ke ghar time se pahuch jaaungi
seema.ke dad ka.naam Prem hai


main bhi ro pada
hum dono bhai behen rote rahe
tabhi didi ne mujhe dekha

Taniya
suraj agar main tujhse kuchh maangu toh dega

Suraj
apni Jaan de dunga

Taniya
main chahti hoon
ki aaj tu mere sath sex kare

main chillate hue
didi

Taniya rote hue
agar tune Aaj mere sath sex nahi kiya
toh.main apni Jaan de dungi

suraj chillate hue
didi

TANIYA

Main apni maa ko takleef Dena chahti thi
main use dikhana chahti thi
ki agar maa randi ban jaaye
toh bachcho pe kya asar padta hai
main yeh bhi samajh gayi thi
ki Suraj pehle se hi sab jaanta tha
warna Mera Bhai toh hansta rehta tha
Achanak woh chup kyun rehne laga tha

Taniya
agar tune mere sath sex nahi kiya
toh main apni Jaan de dungi

suraj rote hue
didi Aisa mat bolo
please Aisa mat bolo
apne bhai pe Aisa zulm na karo

Taniya
haan ya na

Suraj
didi

Taniya
haan ya naa

suraj bas rota raha

Taniya
theek hai

aur main kitchen ki taraf badh gayi
chaaku uthake apne hath pe lagayi hi thi
ki Suraj ro pada
aur usne mere hath se chaaku chheen liya
aur rote hue bola
tum jo bologi main karunga

Taniya
theek hai

aur phir main suraj ko kiss karne lagi
mujhe use mentally ready karna tha
kahin woh kuchh galat na kar de

main use uttejit karna chahti thi
mera dil khud ghabra Raha tha
mujhe khud nahi pata tha
ki main jo kar rahi hoon
uska.anjaam.kya hoga

suraj ko.main kiss kar rahi thi
lekin woh mujhe nahi kar raha tha

main ghutno ke bal baith gayi
aur uski pant kholne lagi
Suraj ne apni aankhein band kar li

jaise hi main Suraj ki pant neeche ki
mere.hosh udd gaye
underwear mein hi uska lund ek dum tight tha
ek pal ke liye mera man Kiya
ki main peechhe hat jaaun
yeh main kya kar rahi ho
lekin maine ek baat soch Li thi
ki agar mummy ko chudne ka itna hi shauk hai
toh Suraj hi ab use chodega
uski hawas mitayega
uski hawas poori karega
use woh dega Jo woh bahar dhund rahi hai
aur iske liye mujhe suraj ko tayyar karna tha
mujhe toh ek hafte pehle se pata tha
mummy ke baare mein
maine socha ki shayad mummy kisi se pyar karti hain
lekin yahan toh yeh randipana kar rahi thi

main ek hafte se yahi soch Rahi thi
ki kya karu
aur phir main is faisle pe pahunchi thi
ki mummy ki hawas ab suraj hi mitayega
main sex ke baare mein jitna jaan sakti thi
utna main research kar chuki thi

main underwear bhi neeche kar di
suraj ke lund ko dekhke mera sar chakra gaya
aaj tak kabhi maine real mein nahi dekha tha
sirf porn mein hi Aisa dekha tha

main aur der nahi karna chahti thi
pichhle ek hafte se main dekh rahi thi
ki mummy kab bahar jaati hai
aur kab aati hain
aaj main school toh gayi thi
lekin ek ghante baad main wapas aagayi thi

ab unke aane ka samay ho raha tha
main Suraj Ke lund ko apni mutthi mein pakadke uski chamdi ko aage peechhe karne lagi

woh apni aankhein band kiye hua tha
kuchh der baad uska lund khada hone laga
woh bhi ek ladka tha
hawas mardo mein jyada hoti hai
aur aurto mein kam
lekin aurtein jab apni pe aati hain
toh woh randiyo ko bhi fail kar deti hain
jaise ki humari mummy

kuchh der baad Suraj sisakne laga
ab use maza aaraha tha
main bhi uttejit ho rahi thi
mere bhai ke lund ko hilate hue

aur phir main apne bhai ki taraf dekhi
jo ab bhi aankhein band kiye hua tha

main apna munh lund ke paas le gayi
ajeeb si smell aayi mujhe
main thook nigalke apna munh kholi
aur lund ke agle hisse ko apni jubaan se chaatne lagi
suraj ka sharir kaanp gaya
kuchh der tak main lund ko chaat ti rahi
phir maine lund ko munh mein bhar liya
mujhe ubki aane lagi
main lund munh se nikaali
aur lambi lambi saansein lene lagi
aur kuchh der baad main apne bhai ka lund chus rahi
woh aahein bhar Raha tha
uski aankhon mein se bhi aansu nikal rahe the
aur meri aankhon mein se bhi aansu nikal rahe the
kuchh der baad main lund ko apne gale tak bhar ke chusne lagi
aur phir dekhte hi dekhte ab suraj ko bhi maza aane laga
woh mere sar pe hath rakhke mere sar ko sehla raha tha

main phir lund munh se nikaali
aur phir khadi ho gayi
aur apne kapde utaarne lagi

Suraj ne aankhein kholke mujhe dekhne laga
ab woh jhijhak nahi raha tha
hawas uspe.poori tarah se haawi ho chuki thi

main jaise hi apne kapde utaari
woh mere jism ko dekhne laga

Taniya
suraj mera pehli baar hai
mujhe pyar nahi karega

yeh sunte hi usne mujhe lita diya
aur mere upar aake mujhe kiss karne laga
mujhe ghabrahat bhi ho rahi thi
main bhi uska sath dene lagi
woh mere honto ko kuchh der chusta raha
phir mere boobs chusne laga
unhein daba daba ke chusta raha

aur phir usne apna lund meri Choot pe laga diya

meri aankhon mein aansu aagaye the
woh bhi ro pada tha

Suraj
didi please

main use thappad maar di

aur phir uska lund pakadke apne chhed se laga di
usne dhakka maar diya
aur meri cheekh nikal gayi
abhi toh agla hissa hi andar gaya tha
woh mujhe kiss karne laga
kuchh der baad maine use ishaara kiya
usne phirse dhakka maara
aur is baar meri seal toot gayi
main buri tarah se rone lagi
woh bhi ro pada
aur mujhe kiss karne laga
main dard se tadapti rahi
aur woh mere hontho ko chusta raha

kuchh der baad maine use phirse ishaara kiya
poora lund andar jaate hi meri phirse cheekh nikal gayi
main phirse rone lagi

Suraj
kaash us din maine maa ko maar diya hota
aaj tumhein yeh sab nahi karna padta
mujhe maaf kar do didi
main bahut bada kaayar hoon

main bhi roti rahi
lekin woh mard tha
kitna der tak khudko rok paata
usne dheere dheere dhakke maarne shuru kiye
mujhe ab bhi dard ho raha tha
Lekin maine use nahi roka
kuchh der baad main aahein bharne lagi
jise sunke woh madhosh ho gaya
aur zor zor se dhakke maarne laga


kuchh der baad raveena ghar ke andar ghusi
aur tabhi use apne beti ke room se awajein sunayi di

woh jab apni beti ke room mein pahunchi
toh uske hosh udd gaye
uski beti aur beta dono sex kar rahe the
Raveena ki aankhon mein aansu aagaye
aur phir use bahut tez gussa aaya

Raveena cheekhte hue
yeh kya ho raha hai

aur tabhi dono bhai behno ne apni maa ki taraf dekha

Taniya ek qaatil muskaan ke sath apni maa ko dekhne lagi

Suraj ruk gaya

Taniya ne suraj ko thappad maar diya

Taniya
dikha apni maa ko
tere lund mein kitna dum hai
tu hijda nahi hai
dikha use ki tu khud apni maa ki hawas poori kar sakta hai
use apna munh kaala karne bahar nahi jana padega
dusro se chudwana nahi padega
randipana nahi karna padega

yeh sunte hi suraj zor zor se apni didi ki choot mein apna lund pelne laga

apni beti ke munh se aisi baatein sunke
ro padi
aur ghutno ke bal baith gayi

Suraj apni didi ko humach humach ke chod Raha tha
Taniya aahein bhar rahi thi

Raveena rote hue
ruk jaao
mujhe maaf kar do
mujhse galti ho gayi
yeh sab band karo

Suraj ne apni maa ko rota dekh
ruk gaya

Taniya ne phirse use thappad maar diya
kameene kitni baar tujhse isne maafi maangi hai
kitni baar tujhse vaada kiya hai
is randi pe vishwas karega tu

Suraj yeh sunke apni maa ko gusse se dekhne laga
aur itni zor zor se dhakke maarne laga
ki Taniya ki cheekh nikal gayi
Suraj jaanwaro ki tarah dhakke maarne laga
Taniya buri tarah se ghabra gayi thi

aur kuchh der baad Taniya ka paani nikal gaya
Taniya buri tarah se jhadne lagi
uska sharir jhatke khaa raha tha

lekin suraj nahi rukne waala tha
usne apni didi ko ghodi banaya
ab Taniya ka chehra bhi raveena ki taraf tha
aur Suraj ka chehra bhi raveena ki taraf tha
raveena roti rahi

aur Suraj apni behen ko chodta raha
bina ruke bina koi rehem kiye
Taniya ko bhi maza aaraha tha
usne nahi socha tha ki uska bhai itna dumdaad niklega

kuchh der baad Taniya ka phirse paani nikal gaya

Taniya bed pe gid padi
aur sisakne lagi
use dard ho raha tha

Taniya
ab jaake apni maa ko nanga kar
aur uski hawas mita
pehle uske munh ko chod
phir use nanga kar
phir uske hontho ko chus
uske hontho ko chuste hue apni jubaan uske munh mein daal
kiss karte hue uske boobs ko zor zor se daba
unhein masal de unhein laal kar de

yeh sunte hi suraj ne apna lund Taniya ki choot se nikaala
raveena ne apne bete ka lund dekhte hi apni aankhein band kar li

Taniya
mummy agar aapne suraj ko roka
toh isi haalat mein ghar se bahar chali jaaungi

yeh sunte hi raveena ro padi

suraj bhi ghabra gaya

suraj apni.maa ke paas pahuncha

Raveena
please maaf kar do meri bachchi
yeh galat hai paap hai
Aisa mat karo

Taniya
theek hai
phir main aapko dikhati hoon
ki main dhamki nahi de rahi hoon

aur Taniya jaise khadi hui
uski cheekh nikal gayi
woh langdate hue gate ki taraf jaane lagi

Raveena rote hue
nahi nahi Aisa mat karo
main main nahi rokungi Suraj ko

Taniya
Suraj pehle maa ko thappad maar
aur phir uske munh ko chod

yeh sunte hi Suraj apni maa ko thappad maarne laga
raveena ro padi
raveena ke.dono gaal laal ho gaye the

Suraj
chal ab munh khol randi
khol munh bahut shauk hai na tujhe chudwane ka
madarchod chhinal aaj teri saari garmi nikaalunga

raveena ne.munh khol diya
aur Suraj ne apna lund raveena ke munh mein pel diya
aur apni maa ke sar ko pakadke zor zor se chodne laga
raveena ki aankhein bahar ko aagayi
aisa laga jaise woh abhi behosh ho jaayegi

Taniya
Bhai kuchh der ke liye nikal le

Suraj ne lund nikaal liya
aur raveena rone lagi

Taniya
ab phir se chod mummy ke munh ko

suraj phirse raveena ke munh ko chodne laga
raveena ki aankhon se aansu nikalte rahe
aur phir kuchh der baad Suraj raveena ke munh mein hi jhad gaya

raveena suraj ko dhakka Dene lagi

Taniya
khabardar agar lund munh se nikaala hai
ek ek boond peene de kutiya ko

Suraj ne apni behen ki baat maani
aur phir majburan raveena ko saara cum peena pad gaya

Taniya
mummy ab jaake apna munh saaf karke
aaao aaj tumhara apne bete ke sath suhagdin manega

Suraj rone laga
hawas ka nasha utar chuka tha

Taniya cheekhte hue
kya chahta hai
ki teri maa roz naye lund le
roz chudwaye alag alag mardo se

in sab baato ne phirse suraj ke andar gusse ki aag bhar di
aur phir Suraj gusse mein bathroom mein gaya
raveena ro Rahi thi
suraj ne uske baalo ko pakda
aur phir room mein leke aaya

raveena
aah aah beta dard ho raha hai
Suraj

suraj ne raveena ko patak diya bed pe
aur uske upar aake uske.honto ko chusne laga
aur uske boobs dabane laga
kuchh der tak boobs dabane ke baad
suraj ne apni maa ke blouse ko pakda
aur faad diya

Raveena toh thi hi sex addict ab uske dil aur dimaag ne kaam karna band kar diya tha
lekin aise toh Rajesh ne bhi sex nahi kiya tha uske sath

Suraj apni mummy ke boobs pe kisi sher ki tarah jhapta
aur uske boobs ko chusne laga
kaatne laga
raveena ko dard ho raha tha
lekin woh kuchh nahi kar sakti thi
use maza bhi aaraha tha

kuchh der baad Suraj ne apni maa ke petticoat ko bhi utaar diya
raveena ki panty poori tarah se geeli hui padi thi
suraj ne panty ko pakda
aur kheench diya panty fat gayi

ek pal ke liye Taniya bhi ghabra gayi
suraj ke is roop ko dekhke

Suraj ne raveena ko kiss karna shuru kiya
aur apni teen ungli apni mummy ki choot mein ghusa diya
aur andar bahar karne laga

raveena aahein bharke reh gayi
kuchh der baad raveena ka paani nikal gaya

Taniya ne apne bhai ka lund saaf kiya
aur phir Suraj ne raveena ki choot pe lund rakhkha

raveena bhi ab suraj se chudna chahti thi
suraj bhi raveena ko chodna chahta tha

suraj ne ek zordaar dhakka maara
lund poora raveena ki choot mein sama chuka tha
suraj bina ruke dhakke maarne laga

raveena rone lagi thi
suraj kisi jaanwar ki tarah apni mummy ko chod raha tha
use ab kisi baat ki parwaah nahi thi

raveena bas aahein bhar rahi thi
kuchh der baad raveena ko bhi maza aane laga
aur Suraj use chodta raha

Taniya apne bhai ko dekh rahi thi
uske bhai ne toh uske sath is tarah se nahi kiya tha

kuchh der baad Raveena ka paani nikal gaya
suraj phir bhi chodta raha

jab dusri baar raveena ka paani nikla
toh raveena ro padi

Raveena
beta ruk jaao
please ab aur nahi dard ho raha hai

Suraj ne apni maa ki ek na suni
usne apni maa ke munh mein lund daal diya
aur uske munh ko chodne laga
raveena ki aankhon mein aansu aagaye
phir Suraj ne use ghodi banaya aur chodne laga

suraj ne apni maa ko nahi chhoda
woh apni mummy ki choot mein ek baar jhada
do baar jhada
aur teesri baar bhi jhad gaya

Raveena behosh ho chuki thi
suraj bhi so gaya tha


raveena ko jab hosh aaya
toh use apni choot mein bahut dard mehsus hua
Taniya wohin pe baithi ro Rahi thi

ab sabka Josh thanda pad chuka tha

Raveena bhi rone lagi
usne apni beti ko apne seene se laga liya
aur Suraj ki bhi aankh khul gayi

usne apni mummy aur didi ko rote dekha
toh khud bhi ro pada

Raveena ne apne bachcho ko sab bata diya
ki kaise woh sex ke liye tadap rahi thi
phir Sunita uske ghar aayi
aur use batane lagi ki kaise woh apne pati ko dhokha deti hai
har hafte woh Naya lund leti hai
raveena bhi behek gayi
aur Sunita ka sath dene lagi

ek hafte Tak Taniya ne plan banaya
aur phir Raveena ne Sunita ko phone kiya

Sunita
Raveena tum ek hafte se mera phone bhi nahi utha rahi thi
aur aaj tumne achanak mujhe kyun bulaya

raveena
mere bachche tumhara hisaab karna chahte hain

Sunita
matlab

tabhi peechhe se Taniya ki awaj aayi

Taniya
matlab main batati hoon maasi

Sunita ne Taniya ki taraf dekha

Taniya ne ek strap on dildo pehen rakhkha tha
Sunita ghabra gayi thi

Sunita
yeh sab kya hai Taniya

Taniya
maasi aaj main aur Mera Bhai
aapko apni rakhel banayenge

yeh sunke Sunita ke hosh udd gaye

Sunita
kya bakwas kar rahi ho
Raveena tum sun Rahi ho apni beti ki baatein
main jaa rahi hoon yahan se

Taniya
aap kahin nahi jaayengi maasi
suraj

aur phir Suraj room se bahar nikla
bilkul nanga

aur phir wohi hua jo Sunita ke sath hona tha


mental hospital
aage kya hua Suraj

doctor suraj ke saamne baithi use bade dhyan se dekh rahi thi
aur Suraj apna sar neeche kiye apni hi soch mein dooba hua tha

doctor
Suraj

suraj ne koi jawab nahi Diya

doctor
aage kya hua Raveena

suraj ne phirse koi jawab nahi Diya

doctor
aage kya hua Taniya

suraj chup tha

doctor
Ranjeet
aage kya hua

suraj
Ranjeet toh mar gaya tha na

doctor
aage ka nahi bata rahe tum

Suraj
baad mein bataunga

doctor cell se bahar aagayi
Suraj bed pe let ke ciggerate peene laga...

haram ka jana Rajesh

 

[Black]

Black bhai kya story thi, ise kahte hai character development , aap ki story me sabse behtar point vahi tha.
Aapki story me bahut jyasd information thi lekin vo jyada tr Action dwara batayi gayi isiliye itna weird nahi laga .

Isme bhi har baar ki tarah dark character , Suraj ne kya Kiya vah mystery hi hai lekin vo mental hospital me hai .

Negative to vaise ek hi baat hai ki Taniya ka mindset itni achhe se jaanne ko nahi Mila ,balki aakhir me saara kand usi ne Kiya .
Briliant story.

Humara dil garden garden ho gaya
itna achcha review dene Ke liye hum aapka bahut Aabhaari hoon
Taniya ke baare mein main aur likh sakta tha
Lekin nahi likha
Jo jaruri laga likh diya
Baaki chand mein bhi daag hai
Galti toh ho hi jaati hai
Shukriya...

 

[Black]

Review
Story - Suraj
Writer - Black

The famous writing style of Blackwa.
Character development kamal ka kiya, specially jo har character apne perspective se kahani ko bta rha hai, ranjeet, raveena, Taniya, and Suraj.

Word limit me character perspective, emotion and sex ko sahi se balance kiya hai. And lastly jo surprise element dala hai, kehna mushkil hai ki ye sab sach me hua yaa phir Suraj ka sirf imagination tha. It's kind of impossible to predict anything in your story.

Mast story

Itni. Khushi mujhe aaj tak mehsoos nahi hui
Bahut achcha laga aapka review padhke
Shukriya...

 

[Black]

haram ka jana Rajesh

Chalo review ke naam pe
Ek character ko gaali toh mili
Waise agar 10000 words hote
Toh rajesh ke side ko bhi dikha deta...

 

[Ashish Vidyarthi]

Chalo review ke naam pe
Ek character ko gaali toh mili
Waise agar 10000 words hote
Toh rajesh ke side ko bhi dikha deta...

Isme koi sandeh nhi h bhai
Ki rajesh ki bhi kch mansha rahi hogi
apne asafal pyar ke liye
Khair
Review mere hisaab se aapki sabhi 10 on 10 hoti h
Qki mujhe achi lgti h bakiyon ka wo jaane

Pehle jb Suraj ki jubaani jb kahani chl rhi thi tb mujhe lga tha ki suraj main character bn kr aayega lekin command taniya ne sambhal li or wo kar diya jo suraj soch bhi nhi ska

Kahani interesting h isme koi do raay nhi qki alg alg characters ki apni kahani h jo suspense or thrill add kr rha h
️️️️️️️️️️

 

[Riky007]

Story: Ek Adhura Sach ( pura Sach Jane bina ban gayi Randi..)
Writer: Milfloverravii

Story Line: ये adultry और ब्लैकमेल पर आधारित एक ऐसी कहानी है जिसमे एक 30 32 वर्षीय औरत और उसके पति को उसके नौकर मिल कर ड्रग से सेक्स एडिक्ट बन कर संबंध बनाते हैं और बाद में उसकी वीडियो के नाम पर ब्लैकमेल भी करते हैं।

Tretment: सेक्स स्टोरी के लिहाज से देखा जाए तो आपने ये कहानी कुछ सही तरीके से लिखी है, लेकिन अगर जो प्रतियोगिता की दृष्टि से देखा जाय तो इस कहानी में कई ऐसे झोल हैं जिस कारण ये कहानी बस हिलाने के काम की ही लगती है।

Positive points: सेक्स सीन अच्छा लिखा है, और कई जगह नरेशन भी अच्छा है।

Negative points: लॉजिक से परे कहानी है इसकी।

Suggestion: आप में कहानी लिखने की क्षमता है, कृपया सेक्स से ज्यादा लॉजिक पर ध्यान दे, अच्छी कहानी लिखेंगे आगे।

रेटिंग: 5.5/10

 

[Raj_sharma]

SURAJ

Spoiler

RAVEENA
mera naam raveena hai
main aur Rajesh ek dusre se bahut pyar karte the
lekin woh gareeb ghar se tha
isi liye mere pita ne meri shaadi karwa di
ranjeet se
aur yeh bhi bola ki agar maine ranjeet ke sath koi bhi galat bartaav kiya
toh woh apni Jaan de denge
mere pati bahut suljhe aur achche insaan the
lekin mujhe unse nafrat thi
main bas apne Rajesh se pyar karti thi
main suhag ki sej pe baithi thi
woh aaye aur unhone mera ghughat uthaya
pata nahi kyun unki baatein sunke
mera dil paseej gaya
woh mujhe apne baare mein bata rahe the
aur baar baar yahi keh rahe the
ki woh mujhe humesha khush rakhenge
phir kuchh der baatein karne ke baad
unhone mujhse anumati maangi
main kuchh nahi boli
tabhi mujhe pitaji ki baat yaad aayi
aur maine unhein anumati de di

ek saal baad Taniya paida hui
aur main apni family life.mein busy ho gayi
mujhe Rajesh ki yaad aati thi
lekin mere pati ranjeet bhi mujhse bahut pyar karte the
isi liye.main ab Rajesh ko bhoolne lagi thi

meri shaadi ko do saal beet chuke the

ek din ek mall mein mujhe Rajesh dikha
use dekhte hi main use pehchaan gayi
woh mujhse baat karna chahta tha
lekin mere pati ko dekhke woh peechhe hat gaya

kayi din beet gaye

ek din Rajesh mere ghar aagaya

maine.usse kaha ki chala.jaaye
lekin usne mujhe apni baaho mein bhar liya
aur mujhe kiss karne laga
main kuchh der virodh karti rahi
lekin phir main apne aapko rok nahi paayi
Rajesh jaise mujhe pyar karta tha
waisa kabhi mere pati ne bhi nahi kiya tha

humare beech sex hua
aur aaj itne samay baad mujhe ehsaas hua tha
ki maine sex kiya hai

us din se roz Rajesh mere ghar aane laga
aur mere sath sex karta
woh mere liye humesha orange juice leke aata
use Peete hi main sex karne ke liye tadapne lagti thi
main bhi bahut khush rehne lagi thi
din.mein Rajesh mere sath sex karta
lekin raat mein jab ranjeet aate
toh main sone ka natak karne lagti

ek raat ranjeet ne mere pair pakad liye
aur rote hue bole
mujhse koi galti Hui hai toh mujhe maaf kar do
tum mujhe daanto ek do thappad bhi maar.do
lekin mujhse aise door na raho

mera dil paseej gaya
woh mujhse kitna pyar karte the
aur waise bhi ab mere andar sex karne ki ichcha kuchh jyada hi badhne lagi thi

din mein main Rajesh ke sath sex karti
Rajesh mujhe ehsaas dilata tha ki woh mard hai aur main aurat hoon
aur wohin ranjeet mere sath aise sex karte
jaise pehli baar kar rahe ho
dheere dheere aaram aaram se
dono ke sath sex karne mein
zameen aasmaan ka farq tha
Rajesh ke sath sex karne mein mujhe bahut achcha lagta
woh mujhe Jo aanand deta tha
uski koi seema.nahi thi
kuchh dino baad main pregnant ho gayi
mere pati bahut khush hue
aur mujhe apni goad mein uthake naachne lage
kabhi kabhi mujhe unpe Daya aati thi
woh mujhse kitna pyar karte the
lekin main toh Rajesh se pyar karti thi na
isi liye

kuchh samay baad Suraj ka.janam hua
main bahut khush thi
apni Taniya aur Suraj ke sath
Taniya Suraj se do saal badi thi
ranjeet bhi bahut khush the
unka promotion bhi ho gaya tha company mein
aise hi din beetne lage

Taniya ab 7 saal ki ho chuki thi
aur Suraj 5 saal ka

main ab sex addict ho chuki thi
ek din bhi agar Rajesh nahi aata
toh.main buri tarah se tadap jaati thi
ranjeet kabhi kabhi sex nahi karte the
main raat bhar karwat badalti rehti thi

ek din Rajesh ghar pe aaya
aur mujhe apni baaho mein bhar liya

raveena
kabhi toh apne bete ko pyar kar liya karo
aate hi bas shuru ho jaate ho

Rajesh
kya karu jaan
tumse najar hi nahi hat ti
man karta hai bas tumhein pyar karta rahu

uski baatein sunke main bhavuk ho gayi
woh kitna pyar karta tha.mujhse

aur phir humne sex kiya
kuchh der usne mujhse pyar bhari baatein ki
aur phir chala gaya
uske jaate hi meri najar room ke gate pe padi
mere.hosh udd gaye
main buri tarah se ghabra gayi

mere pati ranjeet us samay room ke bahar khade mujhe dekh rahe the
woh ro rahe the

ranjeet.rote hue
shaadi ke baad ek baar keh diya hota
ki tum mujhse pyar nahi karti
tumhein azaad kar deta
meri zindagi barbaad karne ki Kya jarurat thi

main kuchh nahi bol paayi
aur rone lagi
meri samajh.mein nahi aaya
main kya bolu

ranjeet
suraj mera beta hai ki nahi

mujhe khud nahi pata tha

main bas roti rahi

ranjeet rote hue
aaj tak kabhi tumhare sath kuch galat nahi Kiya
humesha tumhein pyar kiya
aur tumne mujhe dhokha diya
tum randi nikli

yeh sunte hi mujhe aisa laga jaise
kisi ne mere seene mein khanjar utaar diya ho

ranjeet
laanat hai tum jaisi aurat pe
tum jaisi ladkiyo ne hi hum Shareef mardo ko barbaad kar rakhkha hai
kaash main bhi ek bura mard hota
apne pita ki tarah toh aaj mujhe dukh nahi sehna padta
kaash is duniya ke saare mard bure hote
toh shayad is duniya mein tum jaisi aurtein na hoti

yeh bolke woh Suraj ki taraf badhe
main ghabra gayi
aur bhaagte hue apne Suraj ko apne seene se laga li

ranjeet ne mujhe aas bhari najro se dekha


RANJEET
main bachpan se bahut Shareef aur seedha saadha ladka tha
humesha padhai pe dhyan deta tha
mere pitaji baat baat pe meri maa pe hath utha dete the
woh mujhe bhi maarte the
maine soch liya tha ki main pitaji jaisa nahi banunga main ek achcha insaan banunga

dheere dheere meri age badhti gayi
aur papa.ki.kam.hoti gayi
main humesha apni maa se kehta tha
ki woh mujhe leke yahan se bhaag jaaye
lekin maa.bechari yahi kehke taal deti
ki beta tumhare pita se main bahut Prem karti hoon
aur main unhein chhodke kahan jaaungi
unke siwa mera is.duniya mein hai kaun

meri maa mere pita se bahut pyar karti thi
dilo jaan se pyar karti thi
jab tak pitaji ghar nahi aajate the raat mein
woh khana nahi khaati thi
mere pitaji ke khaane ke baad
woh unki hi plate mein khaati thi
lekin mere pitaji is baat ka jeeta jaagta saboot the
ki is duniya mein burayi hai
woh meri maa ko aise treat karte
jaise woh unki Ghulam ho
lekin meri maa ne kabhi koi shikayat nahi ki

main us din bahut roya
tabhi bade papa mujhe dikhe
woh apne pariwar ke sath aaye the
main unse lipatke rone laga

woh mere sar ko sehlate rahe

mere papa
beta kisi bhi cheez ki jarurat ho toh
mujhe bata dena

aur phir woh chale gaye

mere pitaji mere liye zameen jayedaad chhod gaye the
main achche se padhai Kiya
aur phir ek achchi si company mein naukri karne laga
ek din mere ek dost ne mujhse kaha
mujhe ab shaadi kar leni chahiye
kab tak akayla rahunga
aur phir maine apne bade papa ko phone kiya
woh gaon mein rehte the
unki aur mere pita ki kabhi nahi bani
mere pita jitne bure the
woh utne hi achche the
unhone mera rishta tay kar diya
main raveena ki photo bhi nahi dekhi thi
meri raveena se shaadi ho gayi
aur jab maine ghughat uthaya
toh Chand sa mukhda dekhke
mera dil jhum utha

maine usse yahi vaada kiya
ki main humesha use khush rakhunga
aur phir main usse baatein karne laga
woh bas haan hoon mein jawab de rahi thi
kuchh der baad maine usse anumati maangi
usne kuchh nahi kaha

ranjeet
koi baat nahi
jab aapka man kare
tab bata dijiyega
main intezar karunga
aap kapde badal lijiye

yeh bolke main let gaya
kuchh der baad raveena ne mere kandhe pe hath rakh diya

main mudke dekha
toh woh apni najrein neeche kiye hui thi
main khushi se uchhal pada
aur phir use apni baaho mein bharke chumne laga

lekin jab main apna ling uski yoni mein daala
toh khoon nahi nikla
ek pal ke liye mujhe gussa bahut aaya
main use gusse se dekhne laga
woh bhi ghabra gayi
uski aankhon se aansu chhalak gaye

lekin phir mujhe yaad aaya ki meri maa ne kaisa jeevan jeeya tha
isi liye maine Dhyan nahi diya
aur use jitna achche se ho sakta
utna achche se pyar kiya

aise hi din beetne lage
main raveena ka jitna achche se ho sake
utna achche se khyal rakh Raha tha
raveena bhi mera poora khyal rakhti thi
aur phir meri jaan meri gudiya Taniya paida hui
main bahut khush hua
woh bilkul meri maa jaisi thi
main apni raveena aur Taniya ke sath bahut khush tha
do saal beet chuke the
humari shaadi ko
ek din maine yeh mehsus kiya
ki ab raveena mujhse Kam baat karti hai
main office se aata
woh khana nikaalke de deti
aur phir room mein jaake so jaati
main yeh sochne laga ki kya mujhse koi galti Hui hai
main jab room mein gaya toh raveena soyi hui thi
main uske pair pakad liya

ranjeet
please mujhse agar koi galti Hui hai
toh mujhe maaf kar do
tum mujhe daanto mujhe thappad bhi maaro
lekin mujhse door mat raho
main mar jaaunga

raveena ne mujhe apne seene se laga liya
ab raveena pehle jaisi ho gayi thi
woh waise hi mujhe pyar karne lagi thi
jaise main use pyar karne laga tha

suraj ab 5 saal ka ho chuka tha
aur Taniya 7 saal ki
main uska admission karwa diya tha
school mein

ek din main office se socha jaldi ghar jaake raveena ko surprise deta hoon
aur main ghar pahunch gaya
mere paas ghar ki dusri chabhi thi
main lock khola
aur apne room ke paas pahuncha
mere pairo tale zameen khisak gayi
mera sab kuchh bikhar Gaya
living room mein meri wife raveena kisi dusre mard ke sath munh kaala kar rahi thi
main saans nahi le paa raha tha
meri samajh mein nahi aaya main kya karu
main unhein roku unhein jaan se maar doon
apni Jaan de doon
aur main dusre room mein aake rone laga
meri maa humesha yahi kehti thi
ki beta kabhi bhi apni biwi pe hath mat uthana
apni biwi ko Rani ki tarah rakhna
apni biwi ko humesha pyar karna
main apne munh pe hath rakhke rota raha

kuchh der baad main utha
aur room ke paas gaya
raveena mujhe dekhte hi chaunk gayi

main usse woh sab kaha jo mere dil mein tha
kaash raveena ne mujhse maafi maang li hoti
toh shayad.main use maaf kar deta
main Taniya ko school se lene chala gaya
aur jab hum ghar pe aaye
toh main usse lipatke rone laga
woh bechari bhi rone lagi

aur phir main wahan se nikal gaya

SURAJ
main jab chhota tha tab mere papa chal base
mujhe unki bahut yaad aati thi
Rajesh uncle ko maine kabhi nahi dekha tha
aaj woh pehli baar humare ghar aaye the
unke aate hi mummy ne mujhe aur didi se bola ki jaao ghum aao

hum do ghante baad khelke jab wapas aaye
toh uncle Jaa chuke the

us din se woh roz humare ghar pe aate
aur
woh mujhe humesha paise dete the
didi ko bhi dete the
main nahi leta tha
lekin maa mujhe kehti thi
ki le lo
yeh tumhare papa ke dost hain
woh mujhe bahut achche lagne lage the
jab bhi woh mere paas hote
toh main papa ko yaad nahi karta tha

dheere dheere main bada hone laga
aur sochne laga
ki aakhir uncle kyun humare ghar aate hain
aur main yeh bhi sochta ki mummy unke aate hi humein ghar ke bahar kyun bhej deti thi
unse humara kya rishta hai
ab main 10th mein tha
aur didi 12th mein thi
ek din achanak mujhe bukhaar lag gaya
aur main teacher se bola
ki mujhe ghar jaane dijiye
teacher ne mujhe permission de di
aur main ghar aagaya
ghar andar se lock tha

main gate bajaya

mummy ne gate nahi khola
kuchh der tak

jab woh gate kholi
toh main chaunk gaya
unki ajeeb si haalat ho rakhkhi thi
poora sharir paseene se bheega hua tha
baal bikhre hue the
woh mujhe dekhte hi ghabra gayi
kapde bhi sahi nahi the unke

main
mummy aapki tabiyat toh theek hai

mummy
haan beta theek hoon
tum jaldi kaise aagaye

main
woh mujhe bukhaar laga tha
isi liye main aagaya

mummy ne mere maathe ko chhua

mummy
tumhein toh bahut bukhaar hai
aao andar aao

woh mujhe apne sath leke gayi
tabhi mujhe uncle dikhe
jo sofe pe baithe hue the

mummy ne mujhe dawayi di
aur main let gaya

kuchh der baad bahar se awajein aane lagi

mummy
Rajesh please abhi nahi
suraj room mein hai

Rajesh
toh kya hua
ek na ek din use sab pata chal hi jaayega
jaldi karo phir mujhe bhi jaana hai

mummy
Rajesh maine mana kiya na

Rajesh
toh phir theek hai
main aaj ke baad kabhi nahi aaunga
aaj se tumhara mera rishta khatam

mummy rote hue
Rajesh tum toh jaante ho
main tumse kitna pyar karti hoon
aur tum aaj yeh keh rahe ho
please mujhe chhodke mat jaao
please

Rajesh
toh phir jaldi se mera lund chuso


yeh sunte hi mere pairo tale zameen khisak gayi
main buri tarah se chaunk gaya
mujhe apne kaano pe vishwas nahi hua
sex ka poora Gyan tha mujhe

tabhi mujhe ek dost ki baat yaad aayi
yaar Suraj main kal market gaya tha
wahan Teri mummy kisi ke sath ghum Rahi thi

Suraj
kya

haan mujhe lagta hai teri mummy aur us aadmi ka chakkar chal raha hai
dono ek dusre se chipke hue the

yeh sunte hi maine use thappad maar diya

suraj
saale aaj se mujhse baat mat kariyo

aur phir maine usse dosti Tod di

main bukhaar mein tha
mera sar pehle se bhaari tha
ab aur jyada ho gaya tha

main room ka gate khola
aur saamne dekhte hi mere hosh udd gaye

meri aankhon mein khoon utar aaya

main apne room mein pada cricket bat liya

Rajesh ki peeth meri taraf thi

main maara uske sar pe bat
uske sar se khoon nikla
aur neeche zameen pe gid Gaya

mummy ki cheekh nikal gayi
mummy jis haalat mein thi
us haalat mein main unhein dekhke buri tarah se tadap gaya
woh madarzaat nangi thi

pata nahi mujhe kya ho gaya
ki maine apna aapa kho diya

aur Rajesh ke sar pe bat zor zor se maarne laga

mummy yeh dekhke buri tarah se ghabra gayi
aur rone lagi

Rajesh mar chuka tha

mummy Rajesh se lipatke rone lagi

mummy
Rajesh please uth jaao
main tumhare bina mar jaaungi
please Rajesh please
yeh tumne kya Kiya Suraj
tumne ise maar diya
main isse kitna pyar karti thi
tum khooni ho Suraj tum ek khooni ho

mummy ko yeh tak ehsaas nahi hua
ki woh mere saamne nangi hain

mummy
suraj yeh tumhara baap tha
yeh tumhara baap tha Suraj

yeh sunte hi mere pairo tale zameen khisak gayi
main buri tarah se hil gaya

Suraj
kya matlab hai aapka
yeh Mera baap kaise ho sakta hai

mummy rote hue
yeh aur main ek dusre se pyar karte the
lekin mere pita ne meri shaadi kisi aur se karwa di

main cheekhte hue
kapde pehno jaake

maa ko jaise hosh aaya
woh apne aapko chhipane lagi

main cheekhte hue apne room mein aagaya

kuchh der baad mummy room mein aayi
aur mujhe thappad maar di

mummy
khooni darinde yeh kya kiya tune

woh mujhe maarti rahi

main bhaagte hue room se bahar aagaya
aur kitchen se chaaku utha liya

mummy ghabra gayi
unhein laga shayad main unhein bhi maar dunga

main chaaku apni gardan pe laga diya

main
mummy mujhe sach jaan na hai

mummy rote hue
suraj Suraj beta chaaku neeche rakhkho
neeche rakhkho beta chaaku

main rote hue
mujhe sach batao

mummy rote hue batane lagi

main gusse se paagal ho gaya

main
mummy tum ek chhinaal aurat ho
tumse achchi toh randiya hoti hain
jo kisi ke sath pyar ka natak toh nahi karti
kya kasoor tha mere papa ka
yahi ki woh ek achche aur Shareef insaan the

mummy rote hue
Suraj meri baat suno beta

main
mujhe nahi sunna hai kuchh
samajhi tum
main jaa raha hoon police ke paas

mummy ne rote hue mere pair pakad liye
please mat jaao
mat jaao

main
tum jaisi chhinal Ke pet se janam lene ka yahi anjaam hota hai

mummy
tumhein Jo kehna hai keh lo
lekin mat jaao
tum agar gaye toh main apni Jaan de dungi

main apne room mein aake rone laga

aur phir meri mummy ne Rajesh ki laash ke kayi tukde kiye
aur use freezer mein daal diya
didi Bhi school se aagai thi

maine us din se mummy se baat karna band kar diya tha
didi se bhi baat nahi karta tha

Taniya
kya hua Aaj kal mujhse baat kyun nahi karta
sab theek toh hai
school mein agar koi pareshan kar raha hai
toh mujhe bata
saale ki taangein tod.dungi

main kuchh nahi bola
woh chali gayi

main yeh samajh nahi paaya
ki Rajesh ko police ne kyu nahi dhundha
ek aadmi gayab hua tha

ek din maine dekha ki kuchh log humare ghar aaye the
ek aurat thi mummy ki age ki
aur ek aadmi

main pehle aadmi ki najar ka peecha kiya
kahin woh meri mummy ko toh nahi dekh raha hai
lekin uski kismat achchi thi
ki woh Shareef tha

tabhi us aurat ki najar mujhpe padi
woh haramzaadi aurat mujhe line de rahi thi

mummy
beta yeh meri mama ki ladki hai Sunita
aur yeh hain inke husband aalok

Ranjeet
pehle toh kabhi nahi aayi yeh

mummy
inke pati ka abhi abhi transfer hua hai
yahan
toh yeh mujhse milne aagayi

main kuchh nahi bola
aur apne room mein aagaya

kareeb ek mahina beet chuka tha
ek din school mein meri maar peet ho gayi
principal ne mujhe bhaga diya
aur kaha ki apni mother ko leke aana
main ghar aaya
toh dekha
mummy ban sanwar ke kahin Jaa Rahi thi
Sunita aunty ke sath
saari bhi aisi pehen rakhi thi
ki mera khoon khaul gaya
aadhe boobs dikh rahe the
sleeveless blouse pehen rakhkha tha dono ne

jaise hi mummy ne mujhe dekha
ghabra gayi
aur unhein ghabrata dekh
main samajh gaya ki kya chal raha hai
jarur yeh phirse chhinala karne jaa rahi hai

Sunita
are Suraj tum school nahi gaye

woh haramzaadi jaan bujhke apni saari ka pallu side kar di
mujhe uske chuche dikhne lage

main
randi nikal yahan se
warna Aaj tujhe jaan se maar dunga

woh shocked ho gayi

Sunita
Suraj hosh mein rehke baat karo
warna achcha nahi hoga

main
madarchod

main yeh bolke kitchen mein gaya
aur chaaku leke Sunita ki taraf badha
Sunita ki gand fat gayi

woh bhaag gayi wahan se

main rote hue
mummy kyun aakhir kyun
tum apna randipana nahi chhod Rahi ho
kyun mummy kyun
ek kaam Karo yeh chaaku lo
aur mujhe jaan maar do
phir Jo chahe karti rehna

main chaaku mummy ko de diya

mummy ro padi
beta Mera vishwas karo
tum jo soch rahe ho
waisa kuchh bhi nahi hai
please mera vishwas karo

main apne room mein aagaya
aur rone laga

kuchh din aise hi beet gaye
sunita aunty ne aana band kar diya tha

main ek din main school mein tha
tabhi Taniya didi ka phone aaya
unki tabiyat kharab thi

main ghar pahuncha toh dekha Tania didi ro rahi thi
mummy Ghar pe nahi thi

suraj
kya hua

Taniya didi rote hue mujhe batane lagi
aaj main apni friend seema ke ghar gayi thi
uski mom nahi hain
woh bas apne dad ke sath rehti hai

wahan maine mummy ko dekha

yeh bolke didi cheekh cheekh ke rone lagi

Suraj
kya matlab mummy ko dekha

Taniya
Mummy seema ke dad ki girlfriend hain

koi baat nahi tum rona band karo

Taniya
main marna chahti hoon Suraj
main marna chahti hoon
mummy ke andar agar itni hi aag lagi thi
toh woh dusri shaadi kar leti

main kya bolta apni didi se
ki mujhe sab kuch pehle se pata tha

Suraj
didi tum rona band karo
band karo Rona

Taniya rote hue
ek din maine mummy ko Sunita aunty se phone pe baat karte suna
ki haan haan main rustam ke ghar time se pahuch jaaungi
seema.ke dad ka.naam Prem hai


main bhi ro pada
hum dono bhai behen rote rahe
tabhi didi ne mujhe dekha

Taniya
suraj agar main tujhse kuchh maangu toh dega

Suraj
apni Jaan de dunga

Taniya
main chahti hoon
ki aaj tu mere sath sex kare

main chillate hue
didi

Taniya rote hue
agar tune Aaj mere sath sex nahi kiya
toh.main apni Jaan de dungi

suraj chillate hue
didi

TANIYA

Main apni maa ko takleef Dena chahti thi
main use dikhana chahti thi
ki agar maa randi ban jaaye
toh bachcho pe kya asar padta hai
main yeh bhi samajh gayi thi
ki Suraj pehle se hi sab jaanta tha
warna Mera Bhai toh hansta rehta tha
Achanak woh chup kyun rehne laga tha

Taniya
agar tune mere sath sex nahi kiya
toh main apni Jaan de dungi

suraj rote hue
didi Aisa mat bolo
please Aisa mat bolo
apne bhai pe Aisa zulm na karo

Taniya
haan ya na

Suraj
didi

Taniya
haan ya naa

suraj bas rota raha

Taniya
theek hai

aur main kitchen ki taraf badh gayi
chaaku uthake apne hath pe lagayi hi thi
ki Suraj ro pada
aur usne mere hath se chaaku chheen liya
aur rote hue bola
tum jo bologi main karunga

Taniya
theek hai

aur phir main suraj ko kiss karne lagi
mujhe use mentally ready karna tha
kahin woh kuchh galat na kar de

main use uttejit karna chahti thi
mera dil khud ghabra Raha tha
mujhe khud nahi pata tha
ki main jo kar rahi hoon
uska.anjaam.kya hoga

suraj ko.main kiss kar rahi thi
lekin woh mujhe nahi kar raha tha

main ghutno ke bal baith gayi
aur uski pant kholne lagi
Suraj ne apni aankhein band kar li

jaise hi main Suraj ki pant neeche ki
mere.hosh udd gaye
underwear mein hi uska lund ek dum tight tha
ek pal ke liye mera man Kiya
ki main peechhe hat jaaun
yeh main kya kar rahi ho
lekin maine ek baat soch Li thi
ki agar mummy ko chudne ka itna hi shauk hai
toh Suraj hi ab use chodega
uski hawas mitayega
uski hawas poori karega
use woh dega Jo woh bahar dhund rahi hai
aur iske liye mujhe suraj ko tayyar karna tha
mujhe toh ek hafte pehle se pata tha
mummy ke baare mein
maine socha ki shayad mummy kisi se pyar karti hain
lekin yahan toh yeh randipana kar rahi thi

main ek hafte se yahi soch Rahi thi
ki kya karu
aur phir main is faisle pe pahunchi thi
ki mummy ki hawas ab suraj hi mitayega
main sex ke baare mein jitna jaan sakti thi
utna main research kar chuki thi

main underwear bhi neeche kar di
suraj ke lund ko dekhke mera sar chakra gaya
aaj tak kabhi maine real mein nahi dekha tha
sirf porn mein hi Aisa dekha tha

main aur der nahi karna chahti thi
pichhle ek hafte se main dekh rahi thi
ki mummy kab bahar jaati hai
aur kab aati hain
aaj main school toh gayi thi
lekin ek ghante baad main wapas aagayi thi

ab unke aane ka samay ho raha tha
main Suraj Ke lund ko apni mutthi mein pakadke uski chamdi ko aage peechhe karne lagi

woh apni aankhein band kiye hua tha
kuchh der baad uska lund khada hone laga
woh bhi ek ladka tha
hawas mardo mein jyada hoti hai
aur aurto mein kam
lekin aurtein jab apni pe aati hain
toh woh randiyo ko bhi fail kar deti hain
jaise ki humari mummy

kuchh der baad Suraj sisakne laga
ab use maza aaraha tha
main bhi uttejit ho rahi thi
mere bhai ke lund ko hilate hue

aur phir main apne bhai ki taraf dekhi
jo ab bhi aankhein band kiye hua tha

main apna munh lund ke paas le gayi
ajeeb si smell aayi mujhe
main thook nigalke apna munh kholi
aur lund ke agle hisse ko apni jubaan se chaatne lagi
suraj ka sharir kaanp gaya
kuchh der tak main lund ko chaat ti rahi
phir maine lund ko munh mein bhar liya
mujhe ubki aane lagi
main lund munh se nikaali
aur lambi lambi saansein lene lagi
aur kuchh der baad main apne bhai ka lund chus rahi
woh aahein bhar Raha tha
uski aankhon mein se bhi aansu nikal rahe the
aur meri aankhon mein se bhi aansu nikal rahe the
kuchh der baad main lund ko apne gale tak bhar ke chusne lagi
aur phir dekhte hi dekhte ab suraj ko bhi maza aane laga
woh mere sar pe hath rakhke mere sar ko sehla raha tha

main phir lund munh se nikaali
aur phir khadi ho gayi
aur apne kapde utaarne lagi

Suraj ne aankhein kholke mujhe dekhne laga
ab woh jhijhak nahi raha tha
hawas uspe.poori tarah se haawi ho chuki thi

main jaise hi apne kapde utaari
woh mere jism ko dekhne laga

Taniya
suraj mera pehli baar hai
mujhe pyar nahi karega

yeh sunte hi usne mujhe lita diya
aur mere upar aake mujhe kiss karne laga
mujhe ghabrahat bhi ho rahi thi
main bhi uska sath dene lagi
woh mere honto ko kuchh der chusta raha
phir mere boobs chusne laga
unhein daba daba ke chusta raha

aur phir usne apna lund meri Choot pe laga diya

meri aankhon mein aansu aagaye the
woh bhi ro pada tha

Suraj
didi please

main use thappad maar di

aur phir uska lund pakadke apne chhed se laga di
usne dhakka maar diya
aur meri cheekh nikal gayi
abhi toh agla hissa hi andar gaya tha
woh mujhe kiss karne laga
kuchh der baad maine use ishaara kiya
usne phirse dhakka maara
aur is baar meri seal toot gayi
main buri tarah se rone lagi
woh bhi ro pada
aur mujhe kiss karne laga
main dard se tadapti rahi
aur woh mere hontho ko chusta raha

kuchh der baad maine use phirse ishaara kiya
poora lund andar jaate hi meri phirse cheekh nikal gayi
main phirse rone lagi

Suraj
kaash us din maine maa ko maar diya hota
aaj tumhein yeh sab nahi karna padta
mujhe maaf kar do didi
main bahut bada kaayar hoon

main bhi roti rahi
lekin woh mard tha
kitna der tak khudko rok paata
usne dheere dheere dhakke maarne shuru kiye
mujhe ab bhi dard ho raha tha
Lekin maine use nahi roka
kuchh der baad main aahein bharne lagi
jise sunke woh madhosh ho gaya
aur zor zor se dhakke maarne laga


kuchh der baad raveena ghar ke andar ghusi
aur tabhi use apne beti ke room se awajein sunayi di

woh jab apni beti ke room mein pahunchi
toh uske hosh udd gaye
uski beti aur beta dono sex kar rahe the
Raveena ki aankhon mein aansu aagaye
aur phir use bahut tez gussa aaya

Raveena cheekhte hue
yeh kya ho raha hai

aur tabhi dono bhai behno ne apni maa ki taraf dekha

Taniya ek qaatil muskaan ke sath apni maa ko dekhne lagi

Suraj ruk gaya

Taniya ne suraj ko thappad maar diya

Taniya
dikha apni maa ko
tere lund mein kitna dum hai
tu hijda nahi hai
dikha use ki tu khud apni maa ki hawas poori kar sakta hai
use apna munh kaala karne bahar nahi jana padega
dusro se chudwana nahi padega
randipana nahi karna padega

yeh sunte hi suraj zor zor se apni didi ki choot mein apna lund pelne laga

apni beti ke munh se aisi baatein sunke
ro padi
aur ghutno ke bal baith gayi

Suraj apni didi ko humach humach ke chod Raha tha
Taniya aahein bhar rahi thi

Raveena rote hue
ruk jaao
mujhe maaf kar do
mujhse galti ho gayi
yeh sab band karo

Suraj ne apni maa ko rota dekh
ruk gaya

Taniya ne phirse use thappad maar diya
kameene kitni baar tujhse isne maafi maangi hai
kitni baar tujhse vaada kiya hai
is randi pe vishwas karega tu

Suraj yeh sunke apni maa ko gusse se dekhne laga
aur itni zor zor se dhakke maarne laga
ki Taniya ki cheekh nikal gayi
Suraj jaanwaro ki tarah dhakke maarne laga
Taniya buri tarah se ghabra gayi thi

aur kuchh der baad Taniya ka paani nikal gaya
Taniya buri tarah se jhadne lagi
uska sharir jhatke khaa raha tha

lekin suraj nahi rukne waala tha
usne apni didi ko ghodi banaya
ab Taniya ka chehra bhi raveena ki taraf tha
aur Suraj ka chehra bhi raveena ki taraf tha
raveena roti rahi

aur Suraj apni behen ko chodta raha
bina ruke bina koi rehem kiye
Taniya ko bhi maza aaraha tha
usne nahi socha tha ki uska bhai itna dumdaad niklega

kuchh der baad Taniya ka phirse paani nikal gaya

Taniya bed pe gid padi
aur sisakne lagi
use dard ho raha tha

Taniya
ab jaake apni maa ko nanga kar
aur uski hawas mita
pehle uske munh ko chod
phir use nanga kar
phir uske hontho ko chus
uske hontho ko chuste hue apni jubaan uske munh mein daal
kiss karte hue uske boobs ko zor zor se daba
unhein masal de unhein laal kar de

yeh sunte hi suraj ne apna lund Taniya ki choot se nikaala
raveena ne apne bete ka lund dekhte hi apni aankhein band kar li

Taniya
mummy agar aapne suraj ko roka
toh isi haalat mein ghar se bahar chali jaaungi

yeh sunte hi raveena ro padi

suraj bhi ghabra gaya

suraj apni.maa ke paas pahuncha

Raveena
please maaf kar do meri bachchi
yeh galat hai paap hai
Aisa mat karo

Taniya
theek hai
phir main aapko dikhati hoon
ki main dhamki nahi de rahi hoon

aur Taniya jaise khadi hui
uski cheekh nikal gayi
woh langdate hue gate ki taraf jaane lagi

Raveena rote hue
nahi nahi Aisa mat karo
main main nahi rokungi Suraj ko

Taniya
Suraj pehle maa ko thappad maar
aur phir uske munh ko chod

yeh sunte hi Suraj apni maa ko thappad maarne laga
raveena ro padi
raveena ke.dono gaal laal ho gaye the

Suraj
chal ab munh khol randi
khol munh bahut shauk hai na tujhe chudwane ka
madarchod chhinal aaj teri saari garmi nikaalunga

raveena ne.munh khol diya
aur Suraj ne apna lund raveena ke munh mein pel diya
aur apni maa ke sar ko pakadke zor zor se chodne laga
raveena ki aankhein bahar ko aagayi
aisa laga jaise woh abhi behosh ho jaayegi

Taniya
Bhai kuchh der ke liye nikal le

Suraj ne lund nikaal liya
aur raveena rone lagi

Taniya
ab phir se chod mummy ke munh ko

suraj phirse raveena ke munh ko chodne laga
raveena ki aankhon se aansu nikalte rahe
aur phir kuchh der baad Suraj raveena ke munh mein hi jhad gaya

raveena suraj ko dhakka Dene lagi

Taniya
khabardar agar lund munh se nikaala hai
ek ek boond peene de kutiya ko

Suraj ne apni behen ki baat maani
aur phir majburan raveena ko saara cum peena pad gaya

Taniya
mummy ab jaake apna munh saaf karke
aaao aaj tumhara apne bete ke sath suhagdin manega

Suraj rone laga
hawas ka nasha utar chuka tha

Taniya cheekhte hue
kya chahta hai
ki teri maa roz naye lund le
roz chudwaye alag alag mardo se

in sab baato ne phirse suraj ke andar gusse ki aag bhar di
aur phir Suraj gusse mein bathroom mein gaya
raveena ro Rahi thi
suraj ne uske baalo ko pakda
aur phir room mein leke aaya

raveena
aah aah beta dard ho raha hai
Suraj

suraj ne raveena ko patak diya bed pe
aur uske upar aake uske.honto ko chusne laga
aur uske boobs dabane laga
kuchh der tak boobs dabane ke baad
suraj ne apni maa ke blouse ko pakda
aur faad diya

Raveena toh thi hi sex addict ab uske dil aur dimaag ne kaam karna band kar diya tha
lekin aise toh Rajesh ne bhi sex nahi kiya tha uske sath

Suraj apni mummy ke boobs pe kisi sher ki tarah jhapta
aur uske boobs ko chusne laga
kaatne laga
raveena ko dard ho raha tha
lekin woh kuchh nahi kar sakti thi
use maza bhi aaraha tha

kuchh der baad Suraj ne apni maa ke petticoat ko bhi utaar diya
raveena ki panty poori tarah se geeli hui padi thi
suraj ne panty ko pakda
aur kheench diya panty fat gayi

ek pal ke liye Taniya bhi ghabra gayi
suraj ke is roop ko dekhke

Suraj ne raveena ko kiss karna shuru kiya
aur apni teen ungli apni mummy ki choot mein ghusa diya
aur andar bahar karne laga

raveena aahein bharke reh gayi
kuchh der baad raveena ka paani nikal gaya

Taniya ne apne bhai ka lund saaf kiya
aur phir Suraj ne raveena ki choot pe lund rakhkha

raveena bhi ab suraj se chudna chahti thi
suraj bhi raveena ko chodna chahta tha

suraj ne ek zordaar dhakka maara
lund poora raveena ki choot mein sama chuka tha
suraj bina ruke dhakke maarne laga

raveena rone lagi thi
suraj kisi jaanwar ki tarah apni mummy ko chod raha tha
use ab kisi baat ki parwaah nahi thi

raveena bas aahein bhar rahi thi
kuchh der baad raveena ko bhi maza aane laga
aur Suraj use chodta raha

Taniya apne bhai ko dekh rahi thi
uske bhai ne toh uske sath is tarah se nahi kiya tha

kuchh der baad Raveena ka paani nikal gaya
suraj phir bhi chodta raha

jab dusri baar raveena ka paani nikla
toh raveena ro padi

Raveena
beta ruk jaao
please ab aur nahi dard ho raha hai

Suraj ne apni maa ki ek na suni
usne apni maa ke munh mein lund daal diya
aur uske munh ko chodne laga
raveena ki aankhon mein aansu aagaye
phir Suraj ne use ghodi banaya aur chodne laga

suraj ne apni maa ko nahi chhoda
woh apni mummy ki choot mein ek baar jhada
do baar jhada
aur teesri baar bhi jhad gaya

Raveena behosh ho chuki thi
suraj bhi so gaya tha


raveena ko jab hosh aaya
toh use apni choot mein bahut dard mehsus hua
Taniya wohin pe baithi ro Rahi thi

ab sabka Josh thanda pad chuka tha

Raveena bhi rone lagi
usne apni beti ko apne seene se laga liya
aur Suraj ki bhi aankh khul gayi

usne apni mummy aur didi ko rote dekha
toh khud bhi ro pada

Raveena ne apne bachcho ko sab bata diya
ki kaise woh sex ke liye tadap rahi thi
phir Sunita uske ghar aayi
aur use batane lagi ki kaise woh apne pati ko dhokha deti hai
har hafte woh Naya lund leti hai
raveena bhi behek gayi
aur Sunita ka sath dene lagi

ek hafte Tak Taniya ne plan banaya
aur phir Raveena ne Sunita ko phone kiya

Sunita
Raveena tum ek hafte se mera phone bhi nahi utha rahi thi
aur aaj tumne achanak mujhe kyun bulaya

raveena
mere bachche tumhara hisaab karna chahte hain

Sunita
matlab

tabhi peechhe se Taniya ki awaj aayi

Taniya
matlab main batati hoon maasi

Sunita ne Taniya ki taraf dekha

Taniya ne ek strap on dildo pehen rakhkha tha
Sunita ghabra gayi thi

Sunita
yeh sab kya hai Taniya

Taniya
maasi aaj main aur Mera Bhai
aapko apni rakhel banayenge

yeh sunke Sunita ke hosh udd gaye

Sunita
kya bakwas kar rahi ho
Raveena tum sun Rahi ho apni beti ki baatein
main jaa rahi hoon yahan se

Taniya
aap kahin nahi jaayengi maasi
suraj

aur phir Suraj room se bahar nikla
bilkul nanga

aur phir wohi hua jo Sunita ke sath hona tha


mental hospital
aage kya hua Suraj

doctor suraj ke saamne baithi use bade dhyan se dekh rahi thi
aur Suraj apna sar neeche kiye apni hi soch mein dooba hua tha

doctor
Suraj

suraj ne koi jawab nahi Diya

doctor
aage kya hua Raveena

suraj ne phirse koi jawab nahi Diya

doctor
aage kya hua Taniya

suraj chup tha

doctor
Ranjeet
aage kya hua

suraj
Ranjeet toh mar gaya tha na

doctor
aage ka nahi bata rahe tum

Suraj
baad mein bataunga

doctor cell se bahar aagayi
Suraj bed pe let ke ciggerate peene laga...

Bohot ache bhai . Nice story
Ek Aurat chahe to Ghar ko swarg bana de ya chahe to nark bana de. Ye kahani uska Geeta jaagta sabot hai.
Suraj ki ma ne sab kuch barbaad kar diya hawas ke chakkar me.

 

[Rival]

SURAJ

Spoiler

RAVEENA
mera naam raveena hai
main aur Rajesh ek dusre se bahut pyar karte the
lekin woh gareeb ghar se tha
isi liye mere pita ne meri shaadi karwa di
ranjeet se
aur yeh bhi bola ki agar maine ranjeet ke sath koi bhi galat bartaav kiya
toh woh apni Jaan de denge
mere pati bahut suljhe aur achche insaan the
lekin mujhe unse nafrat thi
main bas apne Rajesh se pyar karti thi
main suhag ki sej pe baithi thi
woh aaye aur unhone mera ghughat uthaya
pata nahi kyun unki baatein sunke
mera dil paseej gaya
woh mujhe apne baare mein bata rahe the
aur baar baar yahi keh rahe the
ki woh mujhe humesha khush rakhenge
phir kuchh der baatein karne ke baad
unhone mujhse anumati maangi
main kuchh nahi boli
tabhi mujhe pitaji ki baat yaad aayi
aur maine unhein anumati de di

ek saal baad Taniya paida hui
aur main apni family life.mein busy ho gayi
mujhe Rajesh ki yaad aati thi
lekin mere pati ranjeet bhi mujhse bahut pyar karte the
isi liye.main ab Rajesh ko bhoolne lagi thi

meri shaadi ko do saal beet chuke the

ek din ek mall mein mujhe Rajesh dikha
use dekhte hi main use pehchaan gayi
woh mujhse baat karna chahta tha
lekin mere pati ko dekhke woh peechhe hat gaya

kayi din beet gaye

ek din Rajesh mere ghar aagaya

maine.usse kaha ki chala.jaaye
lekin usne mujhe apni baaho mein bhar liya
aur mujhe kiss karne laga
main kuchh der virodh karti rahi
lekin phir main apne aapko rok nahi paayi
Rajesh jaise mujhe pyar karta tha
waisa kabhi mere pati ne bhi nahi kiya tha

humare beech sex hua
aur aaj itne samay baad mujhe ehsaas hua tha
ki maine sex kiya hai

us din se roz Rajesh mere ghar aane laga
aur mere sath sex karta
woh mere liye humesha orange juice leke aata
use Peete hi main sex karne ke liye tadapne lagti thi
main bhi bahut khush rehne lagi thi
din.mein Rajesh mere sath sex karta
lekin raat mein jab ranjeet aate
toh main sone ka natak karne lagti

ek raat ranjeet ne mere pair pakad liye
aur rote hue bole
mujhse koi galti Hui hai toh mujhe maaf kar do
tum mujhe daanto ek do thappad bhi maar.do
lekin mujhse aise door na raho

mera dil paseej gaya
woh mujhse kitna pyar karte the
aur waise bhi ab mere andar sex karne ki ichcha kuchh jyada hi badhne lagi thi

din mein main Rajesh ke sath sex karti
Rajesh mujhe ehsaas dilata tha ki woh mard hai aur main aurat hoon
aur wohin ranjeet mere sath aise sex karte
jaise pehli baar kar rahe ho
dheere dheere aaram aaram se
dono ke sath sex karne mein
zameen aasmaan ka farq tha
Rajesh ke sath sex karne mein mujhe bahut achcha lagta
woh mujhe Jo aanand deta tha
uski koi seema.nahi thi
kuchh dino baad main pregnant ho gayi
mere pati bahut khush hue
aur mujhe apni goad mein uthake naachne lage
kabhi kabhi mujhe unpe Daya aati thi
woh mujhse kitna pyar karte the
lekin main toh Rajesh se pyar karti thi na
isi liye

kuchh samay baad Suraj ka.janam hua
main bahut khush thi
apni Taniya aur Suraj ke sath
Taniya Suraj se do saal badi thi
ranjeet bhi bahut khush the
unka promotion bhi ho gaya tha company mein
aise hi din beetne lage

Taniya ab 7 saal ki ho chuki thi
aur Suraj 5 saal ka

main ab sex addict ho chuki thi
ek din bhi agar Rajesh nahi aata
toh.main buri tarah se tadap jaati thi
ranjeet kabhi kabhi sex nahi karte the
main raat bhar karwat badalti rehti thi

ek din Rajesh ghar pe aaya
aur mujhe apni baaho mein bhar liya

raveena
kabhi toh apne bete ko pyar kar liya karo
aate hi bas shuru ho jaate ho

Rajesh
kya karu jaan
tumse najar hi nahi hat ti
man karta hai bas tumhein pyar karta rahu

uski baatein sunke main bhavuk ho gayi
woh kitna pyar karta tha.mujhse

aur phir humne sex kiya
kuchh der usne mujhse pyar bhari baatein ki
aur phir chala gaya
uske jaate hi meri najar room ke gate pe padi
mere.hosh udd gaye
main buri tarah se ghabra gayi

mere pati ranjeet us samay room ke bahar khade mujhe dekh rahe the
woh ro rahe the

ranjeet.rote hue
shaadi ke baad ek baar keh diya hota
ki tum mujhse pyar nahi karti
tumhein azaad kar deta
meri zindagi barbaad karne ki Kya jarurat thi

main kuchh nahi bol paayi
aur rone lagi
meri samajh.mein nahi aaya
main kya bolu

ranjeet
suraj mera beta hai ki nahi

mujhe khud nahi pata tha

main bas roti rahi

ranjeet rote hue
aaj tak kabhi tumhare sath kuch galat nahi Kiya
humesha tumhein pyar kiya
aur tumne mujhe dhokha diya
tum randi nikli

yeh sunte hi mujhe aisa laga jaise
kisi ne mere seene mein khanjar utaar diya ho

ranjeet
laanat hai tum jaisi aurat pe
tum jaisi ladkiyo ne hi hum Shareef mardo ko barbaad kar rakhkha hai
kaash main bhi ek bura mard hota
apne pita ki tarah toh aaj mujhe dukh nahi sehna padta
kaash is duniya ke saare mard bure hote
toh shayad is duniya mein tum jaisi aurtein na hoti

yeh bolke woh Suraj ki taraf badhe
main ghabra gayi
aur bhaagte hue apne Suraj ko apne seene se laga li

ranjeet ne mujhe aas bhari najro se dekha


RANJEET
main bachpan se bahut Shareef aur seedha saadha ladka tha
humesha padhai pe dhyan deta tha
mere pitaji baat baat pe meri maa pe hath utha dete the
woh mujhe bhi maarte the
maine soch liya tha ki main pitaji jaisa nahi banunga main ek achcha insaan banunga

dheere dheere meri age badhti gayi
aur papa.ki.kam.hoti gayi
main humesha apni maa se kehta tha
ki woh mujhe leke yahan se bhaag jaaye
lekin maa.bechari yahi kehke taal deti
ki beta tumhare pita se main bahut Prem karti hoon
aur main unhein chhodke kahan jaaungi
unke siwa mera is.duniya mein hai kaun

meri maa mere pita se bahut pyar karti thi
dilo jaan se pyar karti thi
jab tak pitaji ghar nahi aajate the raat mein
woh khana nahi khaati thi
mere pitaji ke khaane ke baad
woh unki hi plate mein khaati thi
lekin mere pitaji is baat ka jeeta jaagta saboot the
ki is duniya mein burayi hai
woh meri maa ko aise treat karte
jaise woh unki Ghulam ho
lekin meri maa ne kabhi koi shikayat nahi ki

main us din bahut roya
tabhi bade papa mujhe dikhe
woh apne pariwar ke sath aaye the
main unse lipatke rone laga

woh mere sar ko sehlate rahe

mere papa
beta kisi bhi cheez ki jarurat ho toh
mujhe bata dena

aur phir woh chale gaye

mere pitaji mere liye zameen jayedaad chhod gaye the
main achche se padhai Kiya
aur phir ek achchi si company mein naukri karne laga
ek din mere ek dost ne mujhse kaha
mujhe ab shaadi kar leni chahiye
kab tak akayla rahunga
aur phir maine apne bade papa ko phone kiya
woh gaon mein rehte the
unki aur mere pita ki kabhi nahi bani
mere pita jitne bure the
woh utne hi achche the
unhone mera rishta tay kar diya
main raveena ki photo bhi nahi dekhi thi
meri raveena se shaadi ho gayi
aur jab maine ghughat uthaya
toh Chand sa mukhda dekhke
mera dil jhum utha

maine usse yahi vaada kiya
ki main humesha use khush rakhunga
aur phir main usse baatein karne laga
woh bas haan hoon mein jawab de rahi thi
kuchh der baad maine usse anumati maangi
usne kuchh nahi kaha

ranjeet
koi baat nahi
jab aapka man kare
tab bata dijiyega
main intezar karunga
aap kapde badal lijiye

yeh bolke main let gaya
kuchh der baad raveena ne mere kandhe pe hath rakh diya

main mudke dekha
toh woh apni najrein neeche kiye hui thi
main khushi se uchhal pada
aur phir use apni baaho mein bharke chumne laga

lekin jab main apna ling uski yoni mein daala
toh khoon nahi nikla
ek pal ke liye mujhe gussa bahut aaya
main use gusse se dekhne laga
woh bhi ghabra gayi
uski aankhon se aansu chhalak gaye

lekin phir mujhe yaad aaya ki meri maa ne kaisa jeevan jeeya tha
isi liye maine Dhyan nahi diya
aur use jitna achche se ho sakta
utna achche se pyar kiya

aise hi din beetne lage
main raveena ka jitna achche se ho sake
utna achche se khyal rakh Raha tha
raveena bhi mera poora khyal rakhti thi
aur phir meri jaan meri gudiya Taniya paida hui
main bahut khush hua
woh bilkul meri maa jaisi thi
main apni raveena aur Taniya ke sath bahut khush tha
do saal beet chuke the
humari shaadi ko
ek din maine yeh mehsus kiya
ki ab raveena mujhse Kam baat karti hai
main office se aata
woh khana nikaalke de deti
aur phir room mein jaake so jaati
main yeh sochne laga ki kya mujhse koi galti Hui hai
main jab room mein gaya toh raveena soyi hui thi
main uske pair pakad liya

ranjeet
please mujhse agar koi galti Hui hai
toh mujhe maaf kar do
tum mujhe daanto mujhe thappad bhi maaro
lekin mujhse door mat raho
main mar jaaunga

raveena ne mujhe apne seene se laga liya
ab raveena pehle jaisi ho gayi thi
woh waise hi mujhe pyar karne lagi thi
jaise main use pyar karne laga tha

suraj ab 5 saal ka ho chuka tha
aur Taniya 7 saal ki
main uska admission karwa diya tha
school mein

ek din main office se socha jaldi ghar jaake raveena ko surprise deta hoon
aur main ghar pahunch gaya
mere paas ghar ki dusri chabhi thi
main lock khola
aur apne room ke paas pahuncha
mere pairo tale zameen khisak gayi
mera sab kuchh bikhar Gaya
living room mein meri wife raveena kisi dusre mard ke sath munh kaala kar rahi thi
main saans nahi le paa raha tha
meri samajh mein nahi aaya main kya karu
main unhein roku unhein jaan se maar doon
apni Jaan de doon
aur main dusre room mein aake rone laga
meri maa humesha yahi kehti thi
ki beta kabhi bhi apni biwi pe hath mat uthana
apni biwi ko Rani ki tarah rakhna
apni biwi ko humesha pyar karna
main apne munh pe hath rakhke rota raha

kuchh der baad main utha
aur room ke paas gaya
raveena mujhe dekhte hi chaunk gayi

main usse woh sab kaha jo mere dil mein tha
kaash raveena ne mujhse maafi maang li hoti
toh shayad.main use maaf kar deta
main Taniya ko school se lene chala gaya
aur jab hum ghar pe aaye
toh main usse lipatke rone laga
woh bechari bhi rone lagi

aur phir main wahan se nikal gaya

SURAJ
main jab chhota tha tab mere papa chal base
mujhe unki bahut yaad aati thi
Rajesh uncle ko maine kabhi nahi dekha tha
aaj woh pehli baar humare ghar aaye the
unke aate hi mummy ne mujhe aur didi se bola ki jaao ghum aao

hum do ghante baad khelke jab wapas aaye
toh uncle Jaa chuke the

us din se woh roz humare ghar pe aate
aur
woh mujhe humesha paise dete the
didi ko bhi dete the
main nahi leta tha
lekin maa mujhe kehti thi
ki le lo
yeh tumhare papa ke dost hain
woh mujhe bahut achche lagne lage the
jab bhi woh mere paas hote
toh main papa ko yaad nahi karta tha

dheere dheere main bada hone laga
aur sochne laga
ki aakhir uncle kyun humare ghar aate hain
aur main yeh bhi sochta ki mummy unke aate hi humein ghar ke bahar kyun bhej deti thi
unse humara kya rishta hai
ab main 10th mein tha
aur didi 12th mein thi
ek din achanak mujhe bukhaar lag gaya
aur main teacher se bola
ki mujhe ghar jaane dijiye
teacher ne mujhe permission de di
aur main ghar aagaya
ghar andar se lock tha

main gate bajaya

mummy ne gate nahi khola
kuchh der tak

jab woh gate kholi
toh main chaunk gaya
unki ajeeb si haalat ho rakhkhi thi
poora sharir paseene se bheega hua tha
baal bikhre hue the
woh mujhe dekhte hi ghabra gayi
kapde bhi sahi nahi the unke

main
mummy aapki tabiyat toh theek hai

mummy
haan beta theek hoon
tum jaldi kaise aagaye

main
woh mujhe bukhaar laga tha
isi liye main aagaya

mummy ne mere maathe ko chhua

mummy
tumhein toh bahut bukhaar hai
aao andar aao

woh mujhe apne sath leke gayi
tabhi mujhe uncle dikhe
jo sofe pe baithe hue the

mummy ne mujhe dawayi di
aur main let gaya

kuchh der baad bahar se awajein aane lagi

mummy
Rajesh please abhi nahi
suraj room mein hai

Rajesh
toh kya hua
ek na ek din use sab pata chal hi jaayega
jaldi karo phir mujhe bhi jaana hai

mummy
Rajesh maine mana kiya na

Rajesh
toh phir theek hai
main aaj ke baad kabhi nahi aaunga
aaj se tumhara mera rishta khatam

mummy rote hue
Rajesh tum toh jaante ho
main tumse kitna pyar karti hoon
aur tum aaj yeh keh rahe ho
please mujhe chhodke mat jaao
please

Rajesh
toh phir jaldi se mera lund chuso


yeh sunte hi mere pairo tale zameen khisak gayi
main buri tarah se chaunk gaya
mujhe apne kaano pe vishwas nahi hua
sex ka poora Gyan tha mujhe

tabhi mujhe ek dost ki baat yaad aayi
yaar Suraj main kal market gaya tha
wahan Teri mummy kisi ke sath ghum Rahi thi

Suraj
kya

haan mujhe lagta hai teri mummy aur us aadmi ka chakkar chal raha hai
dono ek dusre se chipke hue the

yeh sunte hi maine use thappad maar diya

suraj
saale aaj se mujhse baat mat kariyo

aur phir maine usse dosti Tod di

main bukhaar mein tha
mera sar pehle se bhaari tha
ab aur jyada ho gaya tha

main room ka gate khola
aur saamne dekhte hi mere hosh udd gaye

meri aankhon mein khoon utar aaya

main apne room mein pada cricket bat liya

Rajesh ki peeth meri taraf thi

main maara uske sar pe bat
uske sar se khoon nikla
aur neeche zameen pe gid Gaya

mummy ki cheekh nikal gayi
mummy jis haalat mein thi
us haalat mein main unhein dekhke buri tarah se tadap gaya
woh madarzaat nangi thi

pata nahi mujhe kya ho gaya
ki maine apna aapa kho diya

aur Rajesh ke sar pe bat zor zor se maarne laga

mummy yeh dekhke buri tarah se ghabra gayi
aur rone lagi

Rajesh mar chuka tha

mummy Rajesh se lipatke rone lagi

mummy
Rajesh please uth jaao
main tumhare bina mar jaaungi
please Rajesh please
yeh tumne kya Kiya Suraj
tumne ise maar diya
main isse kitna pyar karti thi
tum khooni ho Suraj tum ek khooni ho

mummy ko yeh tak ehsaas nahi hua
ki woh mere saamne nangi hain

mummy
suraj yeh tumhara baap tha
yeh tumhara baap tha Suraj

yeh sunte hi mere pairo tale zameen khisak gayi
main buri tarah se hil gaya

Suraj
kya matlab hai aapka
yeh Mera baap kaise ho sakta hai

mummy rote hue
yeh aur main ek dusre se pyar karte the
lekin mere pita ne meri shaadi kisi aur se karwa di

main cheekhte hue
kapde pehno jaake

maa ko jaise hosh aaya
woh apne aapko chhipane lagi

main cheekhte hue apne room mein aagaya

kuchh der baad mummy room mein aayi
aur mujhe thappad maar di

mummy
khooni darinde yeh kya kiya tune

woh mujhe maarti rahi

main bhaagte hue room se bahar aagaya
aur kitchen se chaaku utha liya

mummy ghabra gayi
unhein laga shayad main unhein bhi maar dunga

main chaaku apni gardan pe laga diya

main
mummy mujhe sach jaan na hai

mummy rote hue
suraj Suraj beta chaaku neeche rakhkho
neeche rakhkho beta chaaku

main rote hue
mujhe sach batao

mummy rote hue batane lagi

main gusse se paagal ho gaya

main
mummy tum ek chhinaal aurat ho
tumse achchi toh randiya hoti hain
jo kisi ke sath pyar ka natak toh nahi karti
kya kasoor tha mere papa ka
yahi ki woh ek achche aur Shareef insaan the

mummy rote hue
Suraj meri baat suno beta

main
mujhe nahi sunna hai kuchh
samajhi tum
main jaa raha hoon police ke paas

mummy ne rote hue mere pair pakad liye
please mat jaao
mat jaao

main
tum jaisi chhinal Ke pet se janam lene ka yahi anjaam hota hai

mummy
tumhein Jo kehna hai keh lo
lekin mat jaao
tum agar gaye toh main apni Jaan de dungi

main apne room mein aake rone laga

aur phir meri mummy ne Rajesh ki laash ke kayi tukde kiye
aur use freezer mein daal diya
didi Bhi school se aagai thi

maine us din se mummy se baat karna band kar diya tha
didi se bhi baat nahi karta tha

Taniya
kya hua Aaj kal mujhse baat kyun nahi karta
sab theek toh hai
school mein agar koi pareshan kar raha hai
toh mujhe bata
saale ki taangein tod.dungi

main kuchh nahi bola
woh chali gayi

main yeh samajh nahi paaya
ki Rajesh ko police ne kyu nahi dhundha
ek aadmi gayab hua tha

ek din maine dekha ki kuchh log humare ghar aaye the
ek aurat thi mummy ki age ki
aur ek aadmi

main pehle aadmi ki najar ka peecha kiya
kahin woh meri mummy ko toh nahi dekh raha hai
lekin uski kismat achchi thi
ki woh Shareef tha

tabhi us aurat ki najar mujhpe padi
woh haramzaadi aurat mujhe line de rahi thi

mummy
beta yeh meri mama ki ladki hai Sunita
aur yeh hain inke husband aalok

Ranjeet
pehle toh kabhi nahi aayi yeh

mummy
inke pati ka abhi abhi transfer hua hai
yahan
toh yeh mujhse milne aagayi

main kuchh nahi bola
aur apne room mein aagaya

kareeb ek mahina beet chuka tha
ek din school mein meri maar peet ho gayi
principal ne mujhe bhaga diya
aur kaha ki apni mother ko leke aana
main ghar aaya
toh dekha
mummy ban sanwar ke kahin Jaa Rahi thi
Sunita aunty ke sath
saari bhi aisi pehen rakhi thi
ki mera khoon khaul gaya
aadhe boobs dikh rahe the
sleeveless blouse pehen rakhkha tha dono ne

jaise hi mummy ne mujhe dekha
ghabra gayi
aur unhein ghabrata dekh
main samajh gaya ki kya chal raha hai
jarur yeh phirse chhinala karne jaa rahi hai

Sunita
are Suraj tum school nahi gaye

woh haramzaadi jaan bujhke apni saari ka pallu side kar di
mujhe uske chuche dikhne lage

main
randi nikal yahan se
warna Aaj tujhe jaan se maar dunga

woh shocked ho gayi

Sunita
Suraj hosh mein rehke baat karo
warna achcha nahi hoga

main
madarchod

main yeh bolke kitchen mein gaya
aur chaaku leke Sunita ki taraf badha
Sunita ki gand fat gayi

woh bhaag gayi wahan se

main rote hue
mummy kyun aakhir kyun
tum apna randipana nahi chhod Rahi ho
kyun mummy kyun
ek kaam Karo yeh chaaku lo
aur mujhe jaan maar do
phir Jo chahe karti rehna

main chaaku mummy ko de diya

mummy ro padi
beta Mera vishwas karo
tum jo soch rahe ho
waisa kuchh bhi nahi hai
please mera vishwas karo

main apne room mein aagaya
aur rone laga

kuchh din aise hi beet gaye
sunita aunty ne aana band kar diya tha

main ek din main school mein tha
tabhi Taniya didi ka phone aaya
unki tabiyat kharab thi

main ghar pahuncha toh dekha Tania didi ro rahi thi
mummy Ghar pe nahi thi

suraj
kya hua

Taniya didi rote hue mujhe batane lagi
aaj main apni friend seema ke ghar gayi thi
uski mom nahi hain
woh bas apne dad ke sath rehti hai

wahan maine mummy ko dekha

yeh bolke didi cheekh cheekh ke rone lagi

Suraj
kya matlab mummy ko dekha

Taniya
Mummy seema ke dad ki girlfriend hain

koi baat nahi tum rona band karo

Taniya
main marna chahti hoon Suraj
main marna chahti hoon
mummy ke andar agar itni hi aag lagi thi
toh woh dusri shaadi kar leti

main kya bolta apni didi se
ki mujhe sab kuch pehle se pata tha

Suraj
didi tum rona band karo
band karo Rona

Taniya rote hue
ek din maine mummy ko Sunita aunty se phone pe baat karte suna
ki haan haan main rustam ke ghar time se pahuch jaaungi
seema.ke dad ka.naam Prem hai


main bhi ro pada
hum dono bhai behen rote rahe
tabhi didi ne mujhe dekha

Taniya
suraj agar main tujhse kuchh maangu toh dega

Suraj
apni Jaan de dunga

Taniya
main chahti hoon
ki aaj tu mere sath sex kare

main chillate hue
didi

Taniya rote hue
agar tune Aaj mere sath sex nahi kiya
toh.main apni Jaan de dungi

suraj chillate hue
didi

TANIYA

Main apni maa ko takleef Dena chahti thi
main use dikhana chahti thi
ki agar maa randi ban jaaye
toh bachcho pe kya asar padta hai
main yeh bhi samajh gayi thi
ki Suraj pehle se hi sab jaanta tha
warna Mera Bhai toh hansta rehta tha
Achanak woh chup kyun rehne laga tha

Taniya
agar tune mere sath sex nahi kiya
toh main apni Jaan de dungi

suraj rote hue
didi Aisa mat bolo
please Aisa mat bolo
apne bhai pe Aisa zulm na karo

Taniya
haan ya na

Suraj
didi

Taniya
haan ya naa

suraj bas rota raha

Taniya
theek hai

aur main kitchen ki taraf badh gayi
chaaku uthake apne hath pe lagayi hi thi
ki Suraj ro pada
aur usne mere hath se chaaku chheen liya
aur rote hue bola
tum jo bologi main karunga

Taniya
theek hai

aur phir main suraj ko kiss karne lagi
mujhe use mentally ready karna tha
kahin woh kuchh galat na kar de

main use uttejit karna chahti thi
mera dil khud ghabra Raha tha
mujhe khud nahi pata tha
ki main jo kar rahi hoon
uska.anjaam.kya hoga

suraj ko.main kiss kar rahi thi
lekin woh mujhe nahi kar raha tha

main ghutno ke bal baith gayi
aur uski pant kholne lagi
Suraj ne apni aankhein band kar li

jaise hi main Suraj ki pant neeche ki
mere.hosh udd gaye
underwear mein hi uska lund ek dum tight tha
ek pal ke liye mera man Kiya
ki main peechhe hat jaaun
yeh main kya kar rahi ho
lekin maine ek baat soch Li thi
ki agar mummy ko chudne ka itna hi shauk hai
toh Suraj hi ab use chodega
uski hawas mitayega
uski hawas poori karega
use woh dega Jo woh bahar dhund rahi hai
aur iske liye mujhe suraj ko tayyar karna tha
mujhe toh ek hafte pehle se pata tha
mummy ke baare mein
maine socha ki shayad mummy kisi se pyar karti hain
lekin yahan toh yeh randipana kar rahi thi

main ek hafte se yahi soch Rahi thi
ki kya karu
aur phir main is faisle pe pahunchi thi
ki mummy ki hawas ab suraj hi mitayega
main sex ke baare mein jitna jaan sakti thi
utna main research kar chuki thi

main underwear bhi neeche kar di
suraj ke lund ko dekhke mera sar chakra gaya
aaj tak kabhi maine real mein nahi dekha tha
sirf porn mein hi Aisa dekha tha

main aur der nahi karna chahti thi
pichhle ek hafte se main dekh rahi thi
ki mummy kab bahar jaati hai
aur kab aati hain
aaj main school toh gayi thi
lekin ek ghante baad main wapas aagayi thi

ab unke aane ka samay ho raha tha
main Suraj Ke lund ko apni mutthi mein pakadke uski chamdi ko aage peechhe karne lagi

woh apni aankhein band kiye hua tha
kuchh der baad uska lund khada hone laga
woh bhi ek ladka tha
hawas mardo mein jyada hoti hai
aur aurto mein kam
lekin aurtein jab apni pe aati hain
toh woh randiyo ko bhi fail kar deti hain
jaise ki humari mummy

kuchh der baad Suraj sisakne laga
ab use maza aaraha tha
main bhi uttejit ho rahi thi
mere bhai ke lund ko hilate hue

aur phir main apne bhai ki taraf dekhi
jo ab bhi aankhein band kiye hua tha

main apna munh lund ke paas le gayi
ajeeb si smell aayi mujhe
main thook nigalke apna munh kholi
aur lund ke agle hisse ko apni jubaan se chaatne lagi
suraj ka sharir kaanp gaya
kuchh der tak main lund ko chaat ti rahi
phir maine lund ko munh mein bhar liya
mujhe ubki aane lagi
main lund munh se nikaali
aur lambi lambi saansein lene lagi
aur kuchh der baad main apne bhai ka lund chus rahi
woh aahein bhar Raha tha
uski aankhon mein se bhi aansu nikal rahe the
aur meri aankhon mein se bhi aansu nikal rahe the
kuchh der baad main lund ko apne gale tak bhar ke chusne lagi
aur phir dekhte hi dekhte ab suraj ko bhi maza aane laga
woh mere sar pe hath rakhke mere sar ko sehla raha tha

main phir lund munh se nikaali
aur phir khadi ho gayi
aur apne kapde utaarne lagi

Suraj ne aankhein kholke mujhe dekhne laga
ab woh jhijhak nahi raha tha
hawas uspe.poori tarah se haawi ho chuki thi

main jaise hi apne kapde utaari
woh mere jism ko dekhne laga

Taniya
suraj mera pehli baar hai
mujhe pyar nahi karega

yeh sunte hi usne mujhe lita diya
aur mere upar aake mujhe kiss karne laga
mujhe ghabrahat bhi ho rahi thi
main bhi uska sath dene lagi
woh mere honto ko kuchh der chusta raha
phir mere boobs chusne laga
unhein daba daba ke chusta raha

aur phir usne apna lund meri Choot pe laga diya

meri aankhon mein aansu aagaye the
woh bhi ro pada tha

Suraj
didi please

main use thappad maar di

aur phir uska lund pakadke apne chhed se laga di
usne dhakka maar diya
aur meri cheekh nikal gayi
abhi toh agla hissa hi andar gaya tha
woh mujhe kiss karne laga
kuchh der baad maine use ishaara kiya
usne phirse dhakka maara
aur is baar meri seal toot gayi
main buri tarah se rone lagi
woh bhi ro pada
aur mujhe kiss karne laga
main dard se tadapti rahi
aur woh mere hontho ko chusta raha

kuchh der baad maine use phirse ishaara kiya
poora lund andar jaate hi meri phirse cheekh nikal gayi
main phirse rone lagi

Suraj
kaash us din maine maa ko maar diya hota
aaj tumhein yeh sab nahi karna padta
mujhe maaf kar do didi
main bahut bada kaayar hoon

main bhi roti rahi
lekin woh mard tha
kitna der tak khudko rok paata
usne dheere dheere dhakke maarne shuru kiye
mujhe ab bhi dard ho raha tha
Lekin maine use nahi roka
kuchh der baad main aahein bharne lagi
jise sunke woh madhosh ho gaya
aur zor zor se dhakke maarne laga


kuchh der baad raveena ghar ke andar ghusi
aur tabhi use apne beti ke room se awajein sunayi di

woh jab apni beti ke room mein pahunchi
toh uske hosh udd gaye
uski beti aur beta dono sex kar rahe the
Raveena ki aankhon mein aansu aagaye
aur phir use bahut tez gussa aaya

Raveena cheekhte hue
yeh kya ho raha hai

aur tabhi dono bhai behno ne apni maa ki taraf dekha

Taniya ek qaatil muskaan ke sath apni maa ko dekhne lagi

Suraj ruk gaya

Taniya ne suraj ko thappad maar diya

Taniya
dikha apni maa ko
tere lund mein kitna dum hai
tu hijda nahi hai
dikha use ki tu khud apni maa ki hawas poori kar sakta hai
use apna munh kaala karne bahar nahi jana padega
dusro se chudwana nahi padega
randipana nahi karna padega

yeh sunte hi suraj zor zor se apni didi ki choot mein apna lund pelne laga

apni beti ke munh se aisi baatein sunke
ro padi
aur ghutno ke bal baith gayi

Suraj apni didi ko humach humach ke chod Raha tha
Taniya aahein bhar rahi thi

Raveena rote hue
ruk jaao
mujhe maaf kar do
mujhse galti ho gayi
yeh sab band karo

Suraj ne apni maa ko rota dekh
ruk gaya

Taniya ne phirse use thappad maar diya
kameene kitni baar tujhse isne maafi maangi hai
kitni baar tujhse vaada kiya hai
is randi pe vishwas karega tu

Suraj yeh sunke apni maa ko gusse se dekhne laga
aur itni zor zor se dhakke maarne laga
ki Taniya ki cheekh nikal gayi
Suraj jaanwaro ki tarah dhakke maarne laga
Taniya buri tarah se ghabra gayi thi

aur kuchh der baad Taniya ka paani nikal gaya
Taniya buri tarah se jhadne lagi
uska sharir jhatke khaa raha tha

lekin suraj nahi rukne waala tha
usne apni didi ko ghodi banaya
ab Taniya ka chehra bhi raveena ki taraf tha
aur Suraj ka chehra bhi raveena ki taraf tha
raveena roti rahi

aur Suraj apni behen ko chodta raha
bina ruke bina koi rehem kiye
Taniya ko bhi maza aaraha tha
usne nahi socha tha ki uska bhai itna dumdaad niklega

kuchh der baad Taniya ka phirse paani nikal gaya

Taniya bed pe gid padi
aur sisakne lagi
use dard ho raha tha

Taniya
ab jaake apni maa ko nanga kar
aur uski hawas mita
pehle uske munh ko chod
phir use nanga kar
phir uske hontho ko chus
uske hontho ko chuste hue apni jubaan uske munh mein daal
kiss karte hue uske boobs ko zor zor se daba
unhein masal de unhein laal kar de

yeh sunte hi suraj ne apna lund Taniya ki choot se nikaala
raveena ne apne bete ka lund dekhte hi apni aankhein band kar li

Taniya
mummy agar aapne suraj ko roka
toh isi haalat mein ghar se bahar chali jaaungi

yeh sunte hi raveena ro padi

suraj bhi ghabra gaya

suraj apni.maa ke paas pahuncha

Raveena
please maaf kar do meri bachchi
yeh galat hai paap hai
Aisa mat karo

Taniya
theek hai
phir main aapko dikhati hoon
ki main dhamki nahi de rahi hoon

aur Taniya jaise khadi hui
uski cheekh nikal gayi
woh langdate hue gate ki taraf jaane lagi

Raveena rote hue
nahi nahi Aisa mat karo
main main nahi rokungi Suraj ko

Taniya
Suraj pehle maa ko thappad maar
aur phir uske munh ko chod

yeh sunte hi Suraj apni maa ko thappad maarne laga
raveena ro padi
raveena ke.dono gaal laal ho gaye the

Suraj
chal ab munh khol randi
khol munh bahut shauk hai na tujhe chudwane ka
madarchod chhinal aaj teri saari garmi nikaalunga

raveena ne.munh khol diya
aur Suraj ne apna lund raveena ke munh mein pel diya
aur apni maa ke sar ko pakadke zor zor se chodne laga
raveena ki aankhein bahar ko aagayi
aisa laga jaise woh abhi behosh ho jaayegi

Taniya
Bhai kuchh der ke liye nikal le

Suraj ne lund nikaal liya
aur raveena rone lagi

Taniya
ab phir se chod mummy ke munh ko

suraj phirse raveena ke munh ko chodne laga
raveena ki aankhon se aansu nikalte rahe
aur phir kuchh der baad Suraj raveena ke munh mein hi jhad gaya

raveena suraj ko dhakka Dene lagi

Taniya
khabardar agar lund munh se nikaala hai
ek ek boond peene de kutiya ko

Suraj ne apni behen ki baat maani
aur phir majburan raveena ko saara cum peena pad gaya

Taniya
mummy ab jaake apna munh saaf karke
aaao aaj tumhara apne bete ke sath suhagdin manega

Suraj rone laga
hawas ka nasha utar chuka tha

Taniya cheekhte hue
kya chahta hai
ki teri maa roz naye lund le
roz chudwaye alag alag mardo se

in sab baato ne phirse suraj ke andar gusse ki aag bhar di
aur phir Suraj gusse mein bathroom mein gaya
raveena ro Rahi thi
suraj ne uske baalo ko pakda
aur phir room mein leke aaya

raveena
aah aah beta dard ho raha hai
Suraj

suraj ne raveena ko patak diya bed pe
aur uske upar aake uske.honto ko chusne laga
aur uske boobs dabane laga
kuchh der tak boobs dabane ke baad
suraj ne apni maa ke blouse ko pakda
aur faad diya

Raveena toh thi hi sex addict ab uske dil aur dimaag ne kaam karna band kar diya tha
lekin aise toh Rajesh ne bhi sex nahi kiya tha uske sath

Suraj apni mummy ke boobs pe kisi sher ki tarah jhapta
aur uske boobs ko chusne laga
kaatne laga
raveena ko dard ho raha tha
lekin woh kuchh nahi kar sakti thi
use maza bhi aaraha tha

kuchh der baad Suraj ne apni maa ke petticoat ko bhi utaar diya
raveena ki panty poori tarah se geeli hui padi thi
suraj ne panty ko pakda
aur kheench diya panty fat gayi

ek pal ke liye Taniya bhi ghabra gayi
suraj ke is roop ko dekhke

Suraj ne raveena ko kiss karna shuru kiya
aur apni teen ungli apni mummy ki choot mein ghusa diya
aur andar bahar karne laga

raveena aahein bharke reh gayi
kuchh der baad raveena ka paani nikal gaya

Taniya ne apne bhai ka lund saaf kiya
aur phir Suraj ne raveena ki choot pe lund rakhkha

raveena bhi ab suraj se chudna chahti thi
suraj bhi raveena ko chodna chahta tha

suraj ne ek zordaar dhakka maara
lund poora raveena ki choot mein sama chuka tha
suraj bina ruke dhakke maarne laga

raveena rone lagi thi
suraj kisi jaanwar ki tarah apni mummy ko chod raha tha
use ab kisi baat ki parwaah nahi thi

raveena bas aahein bhar rahi thi
kuchh der baad raveena ko bhi maza aane laga
aur Suraj use chodta raha

Taniya apne bhai ko dekh rahi thi
uske bhai ne toh uske sath is tarah se nahi kiya tha

kuchh der baad Raveena ka paani nikal gaya
suraj phir bhi chodta raha

jab dusri baar raveena ka paani nikla
toh raveena ro padi

Raveena
beta ruk jaao
please ab aur nahi dard ho raha hai

Suraj ne apni maa ki ek na suni
usne apni maa ke munh mein lund daal diya
aur uske munh ko chodne laga
raveena ki aankhon mein aansu aagaye
phir Suraj ne use ghodi banaya aur chodne laga

suraj ne apni maa ko nahi chhoda
woh apni mummy ki choot mein ek baar jhada
do baar jhada
aur teesri baar bhi jhad gaya

Raveena behosh ho chuki thi
suraj bhi so gaya tha


raveena ko jab hosh aaya
toh use apni choot mein bahut dard mehsus hua
Taniya wohin pe baithi ro Rahi thi

ab sabka Josh thanda pad chuka tha

Raveena bhi rone lagi
usne apni beti ko apne seene se laga liya
aur Suraj ki bhi aankh khul gayi

usne apni mummy aur didi ko rote dekha
toh khud bhi ro pada

Raveena ne apne bachcho ko sab bata diya
ki kaise woh sex ke liye tadap rahi thi
phir Sunita uske ghar aayi
aur use batane lagi ki kaise woh apne pati ko dhokha deti hai
har hafte woh Naya lund leti hai
raveena bhi behek gayi
aur Sunita ka sath dene lagi

ek hafte Tak Taniya ne plan banaya
aur phir Raveena ne Sunita ko phone kiya

Sunita
Raveena tum ek hafte se mera phone bhi nahi utha rahi thi
aur aaj tumne achanak mujhe kyun bulaya

raveena
mere bachche tumhara hisaab karna chahte hain

Sunita
matlab

tabhi peechhe se Taniya ki awaj aayi

Taniya
matlab main batati hoon maasi

Sunita ne Taniya ki taraf dekha

Taniya ne ek strap on dildo pehen rakhkha tha
Sunita ghabra gayi thi

Sunita
yeh sab kya hai Taniya

Taniya
maasi aaj main aur Mera Bhai
aapko apni rakhel banayenge

yeh sunke Sunita ke hosh udd gaye

Sunita
kya bakwas kar rahi ho
Raveena tum sun Rahi ho apni beti ki baatein
main jaa rahi hoon yahan se

Taniya
aap kahin nahi jaayengi maasi
suraj

aur phir Suraj room se bahar nikla
bilkul nanga

aur phir wohi hua jo Sunita ke sath hona tha


mental hospital
aage kya hua Suraj

doctor suraj ke saamne baithi use bade dhyan se dekh rahi thi
aur Suraj apna sar neeche kiye apni hi soch mein dooba hua tha

doctor
Suraj

suraj ne koi jawab nahi Diya

doctor
aage kya hua Raveena

suraj ne phirse koi jawab nahi Diya

doctor
aage kya hua Taniya

suraj chup tha

doctor
Ranjeet
aage kya hua

suraj
Ranjeet toh mar gaya tha na

doctor
aage ka nahi bata rahe tum

Suraj
baad mein bataunga

doctor cell se bahar aagayi
Suraj bed pe let ke ciggerate peene laga...

Awesome story BHAI

 

[Riky007]

Story: Anokhi Kitab
Writer: cheekku

Story Line: Death Note को बेस बना कर लिखी गई ये थ्रिलर स्टोरी एक ऐसे करप्ट पॉलिटीशियन की है जिसने एक पत्रकार की पिटाई करवा कर उसे नकारा बना दिया था, और सेक्स नोट का इस्तेमाल करके उस पत्रकार का बेटा बदला लेता है।

Treatment: कहानी को अच्छे और साफ सुथरे तरीके से लिखा गया है, पर कुछ चीजें स्पष्ट नही हैं। जैसे किसी का नाम अगर जो बुक में लिख दिया जाय तो असर कितनी देर रहेगा। कुछ जगह पर नाम का कन्फ्यूजन है। बाकी कुल मिला कर कहानी एक बार पढ़ने लायक है। हालांकि मुझे इसका अंत पसंद नही आया।

Positive Points: कांसेप्ट बहुत बढ़िया है, और लिखने का तरीका भी अच्छा ही है।

Negative Points: सेक्स करवा कर बदला लेना, थोड़ा बचकाना लगा। और अंत भी थोड़ा निराश करता है।

Sugesstion: मौत न्याय नहीं, तड़पती जिंदगी ही पूर्ण न्याय है। कुछ चीजें लॉजिक से परे थी, जैसे अशोक का राहुल को मिलने बुलाना, वो एक बहुत बड़ा ट्रैप हो सकता था, क्योंकि जैसा घाघ आपने अशोक को दिखाने की कोशिश करी है उस हिसाब से वो घाघ नही बल्कि बेवकूफ दिखा है।

Rating: 7/10