My thoughts about
Title: Indian Railways Fulfils Hubby’s Fantasy
Author: Clipmaster 99
1st of all, I am in no way qualified to post a review for any story, since I have very particular likings and dislikes, and anything out of that zone is not going to touch my heart and mind, therefore impartial review is not possible.
Even then since the writer asked me to read his story, I am registering my comments on that, not as a critic or the reviewer, but as a person who happens to be in touch with housewives who got a somewhat adventurous lifestyle.
Many of you haven't noticed that basically, I am an Xclusive poster for the adult section of XF, and I am the photographer for a few married girls who dared to bare it all in front of my camera. Though few of them hide these from their husband, few of their hubby enjoys the photo session and are present during the event. Particularly during outdoor shoots.
On many occasions, accidents happen and maybe a fisherman or a stranger could steal a look at their nudity, at first they get scared and spoil the mood for the day but after one or two incidences they are now quite daring and not shy to expose even in the risky situations.
Now, when your story dealt with a similar kind of experience and fantasy, I could very well relate to that, and your narration made it easier for me. Narration wise it was fantastic and I liked how you kept it subtle and left a few for our imagination.
The story talked about the transformation of a shy homely girl to a raunchy plaything, which she likes, it was smooth and felt normal.
The excitement part was also fine IMO.
The character buildups for the main protagonist were nicely done.
The language was perfect.
The story name could have been better, can't think of any now, but will let you know if something comes to mind.
All the best for the contest.
Kahani me ye mentioned hai. Dekha toh usne Samay ko bhi nahi tha. Kintu samay ne galti kar dii thi na. Woh pendant rakh kar. The entity sensed the pendant as soon as Samay came back to the town.
Ye mene expect na kiya tha. Agar ek aadmi kiraaye ke ghar pe reh raha ho. Woh kisi mehmaan ko pick up karne station gaya ho. Toh woh apne mehmaan se kya kahega?
Words ghatane hote hai. Badhaane nahi. Kahani wese hi 6993 words ke aas paas ki thi. Risk nahi le sakte aap.
Double Cross
.