Update 241
Chapter - Khonni Aatank 7
Main jakar fresh hua, fir ek achhi si garam bath lekar bahar aaya aur apne bed par baith gaya. Pata nahi kyun, mere shareer me thodi si khujli ho rahi thi. Jaise kuch ajeeb sa ho raha ho. Maine socha, thoda sa tel laga leta hoon. Sarso ka tel sahi rahega, lotion toh mujhe suit nahi karta.
Main - "Pari! Pari! Kahan hai tu?"
Kuch der baad woh daudti hui aayi.
Pari - "Kya hua bhaiya?"
Main - "Jara tel lekar aa, mujhe lagana hai!"
Pari - "Aaj itne dino baad kaise?"
Main - "Kya kaise, pagal?! Pata nahi kaun si patiya lag gayi hai, shareer me ajeeb si khujli ho rahi hai!"
Pari (halki hasi ke saath) - "Haha! Abhi laati hoon!"
Woh haste hue palti aur tel lene chali gayi. Kuch der baad woh tel lekar aa gayi.
Main - "Laa deโฆ jaldi na!"
Pari (mazak bhari awaaz me) - "Are baba! Itne utawale kyun ho rahe ho tel lagane ke liye? Main laga deti hoon, batao kahan lagana hai?"
Main - "Haan haan! Jaldi laga de! Meri peeth par!"
Woh meri peeth ke piche aayi aur achanak uske haath se tel ki sisi chhoot gayi.
Mera dhyaan kahin aur tha, par jaise hi awaaz suni, main jhat se palta aur bottle pakad li.
Main - "Uff! Pari! Kya kar rahi hai? Agar tel gir jata toh yaha sab tel-tel ho jata!"
Pari (shock me) - "Bhaiyaโฆ yehโฆ ek shoulder par sher ka tattoo kahan se aa gaya?! Aur yeh hil raha hai!"
Main (hasi rokne ki koshish karte hue) - "Chal laga de! Tere mazak karne ki aadat ab tak nahi gayi! Abhi tattooโฆ abhi sherโฆ! Mazak kam kiya kar!"
Pari (serious hokar) - "Main sach bol rahi hoon!"
Maine uth kar mirror ke saamne khud ko dekha, par mujhe waha kuch bhi nahi dikha. Wapas jakar bed par baith gaya, par andar kahin ek ajeeb si bechaini hone lagi.
Main (andar hi andar) - "Kya sach meโฆ kuch badal raha hai?"
Main - "Accha toh meri chocolate girl mazak karne lagi?"
Pari gusse me bottle le leti hai aur bina kuch kahe tail mere peeth par lagane lagti hai. Woh chup thi, lekin main chup nahi reh sakta tha. Isse baat karo toh chup rehne ka mann hi nahi karta.
Main - "Are baba! Naraz kyun hoti hai?"
Pari - "Meri baat par yakeen nahi aapko?"
Main - "Nahi aisa nahiโฆ par haa! Tere haath pehle se jyada kadak ho gaye hain!"
Pari ne apne nakhun se nocha mujhe!
Main - "Aaaahhh! Arey sorry! Sorry!"
Pari - "Main abhi bhi bahut naram hoon, samjhe?"
Main - "Acchaโฆ narami ki rani! Billion ki tarah nakhun mat maaro!"
Pari - "Aap hamesha mujhe chhedte kyun ho?"
Main - "Kyun? Tujhe mujhse chhedna accha nahi lagta?"
Pari - "Nahi na! Main aapki biwi hoon na aapki GFโฆ phir mujhe kyun chhedte ho?"
Main - "Bhai! Apni Pari ko chhednaโฆ aur baakiyon ko chhedna alag hota hai!"
Pari muskura kar - "Accha ji?"
Main - "Ji!"
Pari - "Aur woh kyun?"
Main ekdum tez mudaโฆ aur uski kamar dono taraf se pakad li!
Pari - "Ehhhhhh! Chhodo naaaa!"
Main - "Abhi toh pakda hai!"
Pari - "Uffffโฆ kyun?!"
Main halki si apni face uski kamar ke paas le gayaโฆ
Aur chum liyaโฆ!
Wahi jaha uska tattoo bana tha!
Jaha Pari ka secret code likha thaโฆ
"PDDDR"
Mere aisa karte hiโฆ
Pari ne mujhe zor se bed par dhakka de diya!
Pari - "Aisa mat kiya karna! Aap kabhi bhi!"
Main - "Kyun baba? Kya hua?"
Pari - "Aapka control ka toh pata nahiโฆ!"
"Mujhse nahi hota!"
"Aadat maine daali aapke paas sone kiโฆ
"Maza Neha le gayi!""
Main - "Toh tu bhi le leโฆ par bina goli khilaye! Warna Neha jaisi halat teri bhi ho jaayegi!"
Pari hasi aur bhaar jaane lagi.
Main - "Arre! Kya hua?"
Pari - "Gaande kahi ke!"
Main - "Arre! Woh code toh hata de ab!"
Pari - "Nahi! Woh tab hataungi jab aap khud ko mere hawaale karoge!"
Itna bolkar woh bhaag gayi, par mere chehre par ek muskurahat chhod gayi jo kaafi lambe time baad aayi thi.
Mujhe woh din yaad aa gaya jab pehli baar sote hue uski najuk si kamar mere haath mein aayi thi.
Main uthkar tayyar hone laga.
Maine baalon ko sahi kiyaโฆ aur jaise hi haath table par rakhaโฆ
Main ekdum chauk gaya!
Main ne haath hataya, woh cheez gayab ho gayi!
Mujhe laga shayad dimaag ka dhokha haiโฆ
Shayad Pari ne jo sher ki baat ki thi, wahi dimag me chal rahi thi!
Lekin jaise hi samne mirror me dekhaโฆ
Meri jagah toh koi aur hi tha!
Matlab meri jagahโฆ yeh tha!
Maine apne aap ko chhukar dekhaโฆ
Main theek tha!
Lekin mirror me khada woh insaanโฆ
Nahi! Woh insaan nahi thaโฆ
Woh ek sher tha!
Sher - "Kya dekh rahe ho? Darna mat!"
Main - "Tu kaun hai? Aur main kyun darunga?"
Sher - "Maaf karna! Aap kaise dar sakte ho?"
"Aap toh khud dar ka doosra naam banne wale ho!"
Main - "Pehle yeh bata, tu kaun hai?"
Sher - "Main yaha paas ke Dhirpur ke jungle ka raja tha!"
Main - "Tu sher hokar baat kaise kar raha hai?"
Sher - "Jaise tum manav bhediya hoโฆ mai manav sher hoon!"
Main - "Par main uss haalat me nahi bol sakta!"
Sher - "Dil se koshish nahi ki!"
Main - "Yaha tumhara kya kaam hai?"
Sher - "Main dhanyavaad dene aaya hoon!"
"Aapne mere aur mere parivaar ka badla liya!"
"Uss Ratan Singh ko maar kar!"
Main (chauk ke) - "Kya woh sach me jaanwaron ko maarta tha?"
Sher - "Haan! Tabhi yaha se saare jaanwar khatam ho gaye!"
"Aur unki laasheโฆ unki haweli ki diwalon par tangi hui hain!"
Main - "Chaloโฆ tumhe insaaf mil gaya! Aur mujhe sukoon ki mere haathon galat insaan nahi mara!"
Sher - "Par aap waha apna hatiyaar ka ek hissa chhod aaye ho! Talab me!"
Main (chauk ke) - "Offf! Main kaise bhool gaya yeh sab?!"
Sher - "Apni khoon ki pyaas ko aise hi bane rehne do!"
"Jald hi aap uss par haavi ho jaayenge!"
"Aur apni marzi se jab chaheinโฆ woh roop le sakenge!"
Main - "Matlabโฆ aur khoon?"
Sher - "Haan! Aise hi! Aur dushmano ka khoon aapko peena hai!"
"Aur saare samaaj meโฆ"
"Dar peda karna hai!"
"Galat kaam karne walon me!"
Main - "Par inn sab se hoga kya?"
Sher - "Aapke lakshya ki pehli seedhi hai yeh! Basโฆ main itna jaanta hoon!"
Main - "Dhanyavaadโฆ itna bataane ke liye!"
Sher - "Aapka bhi shukriya! Ab meri aatma ko shaanti mili hai!"
Aur woh gayab ho gaya!
Main khush tha!
Par Roshni ke liye thoda sa dukhi bhi!
Ratan Singh acche insaan the, ya nahiโฆ yeh ab naseeb jaane!
Par jab jiska paap ka ghada bhar jaaye, tabhi toh woh marta hai!
Aur iss baar woh niyati me thaโฆ
Ya kahunโฆ
Manavbhediya!
Ya Werwolf!
Main neeche aayaโฆ
Toh thoda mahaul badla-badla lag raha tha!
Ab thoda sa Diwali ka taste aayaโฆ!
Aur haanโฆ yeh sab bhi aa gayi!
Saloni (door se cheekh kar) - "Wahi chhod kar aa gaya mujhe?!"
"Paagal kahi ke!"
Main (andar hi andar) - "Abe yeh kya hua?"
Neha ne ishaara kiyaโฆ
Maine dekha!
Maa aur Chachi thoda bechain lag rahi thi!
Main - "Maaโฆ Aap! Chachi ji! Sab theek hai na?"
Maa - "Woh toh theek hai! Par yeh Jhansi ki Rani kyun ban rahi hai?!"
"Haan? Gayab kaha thi?!"
"Aur yaha sabko band karke chali gayi!"
Saloni ne neeche sir kar liya.
Saloni - "Sorry maaโฆ"
Maa aage badhi aur Neha ke kaan kheench liye!
Neha - "Aaaahhhh! Maa!"
Main ekdum chillaya!
Main - "Maa! Kya kar rahi ho?!"
Maa ne mujhe ghoorkar dekhaโฆ
Maa - "Tu apni biwiyon ki chinta kar!"
"Jaโฆ Komal aur Janu ko sambhal!"
"Iske dimaag ka main thikana laga deti hoon abhi!"
Neha - "Maa! Chhod do na! Dard ho raha hai!"
Maa - "Accha?"
"Aur itne dino seโฆ
"Main jo iski soch me sukh rahi hoonโฆ woh?"
Neha - "Aaaahhh! Maa! Sorry! Ab nahi hoga!"
Main - "Maaโฆ!"
Maa - "Shhh!"
"Lekar jaao ise andar!"
"Koi aaj mujhe iski khabar liye bina nahi rok sakta!"
Devika, Saloni, aur Sona turant aage badhi.
Devika - "Aap chaliye andar!"
Main - "Tum sab bhi!"
Devika (dheere se) - "Arey aap chinta mat karo!"
"Itni najuk nahi hai woh!"
"Maa ji ko gussa na dilaaiyeโฆ"
"Warna abhi hum sabki waat lag jaayegi!"
Main waha se akhada aur angan me jakar baith gaya.
Main - "Bas naโฆ yaha theek hai!"
Saloni - "Perfect hai ji!"
Main - "Accha ji?"
Devika - "Rutho na ji!"
Main - "Accha ji!"
Sona - "Hua kya ji?"
Main muh bana kar - "Kuch nahi ji!"
"Aur ab 'Ji Ji' mat karo!"
"Meri maa jakar naha lo!"
Devika (haath se nose pakad ke) - "Ji! Aapki khushbuโฆ"
"Shareer se dhoone ka mann nahi kar raha hai!"
Main - "Dhul lo! Main dubara laga dunga!"
Saloni - "Ji usse kya hoga?"
Main - "Hey Bhagwan!"
"Yeh ghar itna suna kyu hai?"
"Koi aata bhi nahi!"
"Pata nahi sab kahan hai!"