★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2025 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Lucifer]

Unfortunately We are facing a server issue which limits most users from posting long posts which is very necessary for USC entries as all of them are above 5-7K words ,we are fixing this issue as I post this but it'll take few days so keeping this in mind the last date of entry thread is increased once again,Entry thread will be closed on 7th May 11:59 PM. And you can still post reviews for best reader's award till 13th May 11:59 PM. Sorry for the inconvenience caused.

You can PM your story to any mod and they'll post it for you.

Note to writers :- Don't try to post long updates instead post it in 2 Or more posts. Thanks. Regards :- Luci

 

[Mrxr]

story ; Ek Shadishuda Aurat. Uspe Gairon ki Nazar.
Written by ; labia
Story line ; adultery​

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Story ek married ladki sania ki hai, jiska husband Qatar me job karta hai, aur wo yanah akele rahti hai.​

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Positive points​

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• Story me ek normal si life aur logon ki soch dikhai gai hai.
• Story me kuch scenes real feel dete hain jaise.... Kachra gadi, logo ka ghurna.... Etc.

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Nigative points​

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• Sania ka koi react na karna ketu ki harkaton pe.​
• Story me characters ki depth aur emotiona dikhte hi nahi hai.​
• Sania dobara se nighty pahan ke aana,ye jante hue ki ketu ki harkaten kuch thik nahi hain, ye ajeeb laga.​
• Yukta ka ghar pe na hona, achanak light ka chali jana, bra ka packet milna, thoda dramatic aur created situation lagti hai.​

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Mistakes​

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Story me character ki feelings & emotions ki kami hai.
Story me big mistake time ki hai, kyonki Qatar ka time indian time se 2:30 hr late chalta hai toh us hisab se jab ayan ne call ki toh time 12;30 tha aur ketu 2;20 pe aaya. Is sab me 1;50 ka hi antar hai.ise aapko explain karna chahiye tha.​

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Adultery ke hisab se story thik hai,spelling mistakes kam hain jo acchi baat hai.

Rating ; 6/10​

 

[Aakash.]

"Mummy Ka Kaamuk Rishta" by LONELYCHAHAK

Ek sacchi ghatna par aadharit kahani hai jo Arjun naam ke ladke ke nazariye se batayi gayi hai. Ye kahani updates ke roop mein likhi gayi hai jo padhne mein suvidhajanak hai aur readers ko beech mein rukne par bhi aasani se wapas jodne mein madad karti hai.

Positive Points:

▪︎ Kahani ka Format: Updates ka tarika accha hai har update ek chhota sa hissa lekar aage badhta hai Jisse suspense bana rehta hai.

▪︎ Bhasha: Roman Hindi ka istemal simple aur rozmarra ka hai Jo padhne wale ko apnapan deta hai. Dialogues mazedaar aur natural lagte hai.

▪︎ Rhythm: Har update mein ek nayi ghatna ya twist hai jo kahani ko tezi se aage le jata hai aur bore nahi hone deta.

▪︎ Character Build-up: Mausaji (Ashok) aur Mummy (Veena) ke beech ka rishta dhire-dhire khulta hai jo curiosity banaye rakhta hai.

Negative Points:

▪︎ Wartani (Spelling): Kai jagah spelling mistakes hai jo padhne ke flow ko todta hai.

▪︎ Repetition: Lund chusne aur ragadne wale scenes baar-baar repeat hote hai jo thoda ek hi jaisi feeling dete hai. Variety ki kami lagti hai.

▪︎ Character Depth: Arjun ke alawa baaki characters (Dada ji, Dadi ji) zyada develop nahi huye unka role sirf background mein hai.

▪︎ Logic Gaps: Neend ki goli wala scene thoda filmi laga real life mein itna risky kaam shayad na ho.

Ek Acchi Kahani ke Liye Kya Accha Hai:

▪︎ Suspense aur twist accha hai har update ke end mein aage kya hoga ye janne ki ichha hoti hai.

▪︎ Bold topic ko openly present karna kahani ko unique banata hai.

▪︎ Chhote updates padhne mein aasan hai specially mobile users ke liye.

Kya Bura Hai:

▪︎ Spelling aur grammar par dhyan dena chahiye galtiyan kahani ke asar ko kam karti hai.

▪︎ Ek hi type ke intimate scenes zyada ho gaye thodi variety (jaise emotional depth ya conflict) add karna behtar hota.

▪︎ Arjun ka role sirf dekhne tak seemit hai uski feelings ya reaction ko zyada explore kiya ja sakta tha.

Overall:

Ye kahani apne bold andaaz aur tezi ke liye pasand ki ja sakti hai lekin thodi polishing (wartani, variety, depth) ise aur mazedaar bana sakti thi. Rhythm theek hai par beech mein thodi si kami lagti hai jab scenes repeat hote hai. Normal readers ke liye entertaining hai par perfection ke liye thoda kaam baki hai.​

 

[Mrxr]

Story : A day as a moderater (LSB section)
Written by ; AddiXtion
Story line ; Parody​

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Story ek comedy bace pe hai ,jisme XF ke moderaters & members ko roast kiya gaya hai.​

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Positive points​

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• Story me khud ko as a clown dikha ke sabko hasana bahut Badi baat hoti hai jo story me acche se dikhaya gaya hai.​
• Story me details acche se likhi gai hain jo story ko aur behtar banati hai.​
• Story me jo PUBG wala scene add kiya hai wo ek real scene lagta hai aur ek realty dikhata hai(main bhi jab khelta tha toh kisi ka phone nahi uthata tha isliye)​
• Story fun aur comedy se bhari hai jo mind fresh karne ke liye acchi hai.​

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Negative points ​

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• Kanhi na kanhi story me emotions ki kami lagi jayse...wearwolf ka hadbada ke jawab dena....etc.​
• Kuch scenes jyada lambe ho gaye jaise.....LSB section check karna,convo dekhna.....jisse padhne me maza chala jata hai.​
• Kabhi kabhi khud ko roast karne ki jagah dusron se maze leke bhi funny roast kar sakte hai.​

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Mistakes​

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Story me kanhi kanhi kuch words chhut gaye hain likhne me jo convo ko pura karte hain,waise ye bahut choti mistake hai lekin story ke flow pe empact toh dalti hi hai.​

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Story bahut maze daar likhi gai hai,jise padne me hansi aati hai,jo ek stress relief ka kssm karti hai.story ko bahut hi acche aur saaf tarike se likha gaya hai jis se padhne me ek flow milta hai.

Rating ; 7/10​

 

[LONELYCHAHAK]

t

"Mummy Ka Kaamuk Rishta" by LONELYCHAHAK

Ek sacchi ghatna par aadharit kahani hai jo Arjun naam ke ladke ke nazariye se batayi gayi hai. Ye kahani updates ke roop mein likhi gayi hai jo padhne mein suvidhajanak hai aur readers ko beech mein rukne par bhi aasani se wapas jodne mein madad karti hai.

Positive Points:

▪︎ Kahani ka Format: Updates ka tarika accha hai har update ek chhota sa hissa lekar aage badhta hai Jisse suspense bana rehta hai.

▪︎ Bhasha: Roman Hindi ka istemal simple aur rozmarra ka hai Jo padhne wale ko apnapan deta hai. Dialogues mazedaar aur natural lagte hai.

▪︎ Rhythm: Har update mein ek nayi ghatna ya twist hai jo kahani ko tezi se aage le jata hai aur bore nahi hone deta.

▪︎ Character Build-up: Mausaji (Ashok) aur Mummy (Veena) ke beech ka rishta dhire-dhire khulta hai jo curiosity banaye rakhta hai.

Negative Points:

▪︎ Wartani (Spelling): Kai jagah spelling mistakes hai jo padhne ke flow ko todta hai.

▪︎ Repetition: Lund chusne aur ragadne wale scenes baar-baar repeat hote hai jo thoda ek hi jaisi feeling dete hai. Variety ki kami lagti hai.

▪︎ Character Depth: Arjun ke alawa baaki characters (Dada ji, Dadi ji) zyada develop nahi huye unka role sirf background mein hai.

▪︎ Logic Gaps: Neend ki goli wala scene thoda filmi laga real life mein itna risky kaam shayad na ho.

Ek Acchi Kahani ke Liye Kya Accha Hai:

▪︎ Suspense aur twist accha hai har update ke end mein aage kya hoga ye janne ki ichha hoti hai.

▪︎ Bold topic ko openly present karna kahani ko unique banata hai.

▪︎ Chhote updates padhne mein aasan hai specially mobile users ke liye.

Kya Bura Hai:

▪︎ Spelling aur grammar par dhyan dena chahiye galtiyan kahani ke asar ko kam karti hai.

▪︎ Ek hi type ke intimate scenes zyada ho gaye thodi variety (jaise emotional depth ya conflict) add karna behtar hota.

▪︎ Arjun ka role sirf dekhne tak seemit hai uski feelings ya reaction ko zyada explore kiya ja sakta tha.

Overall:

Ye kahani apne bold andaaz aur tezi ke liye pasand ki ja sakti hai lekin thodi polishing (wartani, variety, depth) ise aur mazedaar bana sakti thi. Rhythm theek hai par beech mein thodi si kami lagti hai jab scenes repeat hote hai. Normal readers ke liye entertaining hai par perfection ke liye thoda kaam baki hai.​

thank u sir aapka review dekhke kaafi accha laga
mai puri koshsih karunga ki aage jab bhi koi story likhun toh aapki baton ka dhyaand rakhun.

 

[Mrxr]

Essay ; कामवासना क्यों है ,क्या है
Written by ; Sk story's

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Ye story toh bilkul nahi hai,ye ek nibandh hai,jisme kaamwasna ka warnan kiya gaya hai.​

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Positive points ​

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• topic ka acche se warnan kiya gaya hai,aur acche se samjhaya bhi gaya hai.​

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Negative points​

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• Kisi kisi paragraph ko samajhne me kafi time lagta hai
• Kuch jagah pe kuch cheeze sir ke upar se jati hai,kya hai kyon hai kayse hai,samajh nahi aata hai.

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Mistakes
mistakes kya hi likhun main kyonki ye ek nibandh hai koi story mahi hai toh mere likhne ka koi fayada bhi nahi hai
par fir bhi thoda detail se samjhane ka prayas kar sakte hai.​

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Rating ; 2/10( ye sirf writing ke base pe)
Rating ; 6.5/10(essay ke base pe)
​

 

[Riky007]

Story: Mind Game
Writer: RED Ashoka

Story Line: psycological/horror पर आधारित ये कहानी 5 ऐसे लोगों की है, जिनको एक हवेली में आने का न्योता मिलता है, जहां उनको एक खेल खेलने कहा जाता है जिसमें उनको उस घर से बाहर निकलने का आखिरी दरवाजा खोजना है। हर एक के साथ उसकी यादें खेलती हैं उनको ग्लानि और क्षोम में डालती हैं और अंत में जब उनको दरवाजा मिल जाता है तो वो हवेली उनसे कुर्बानी मांगती है जिसे अर्जुन नाम का एक पूर्व सैनिक पूरी कर के बाकी लोगों को बाहर भेज देता है।

Tretament: मुझे ऐसा लगा कहानी दो लोगों द्वारा या दो अलग अलग जगह पर लिखी गई है। क्योंकि कहानी में दो भाषाशैली साफ परिलक्षित होती है। एक जिसे हम ट्रांसलेटेड मान सकते हैं जिसमें हिंदी के भारी भरकम शब्दावली है और कई बार वो सर के ऊपर से निकल जाती है, रोमन में लिखी होने के कारण। और एक ऐसी जिसमें नॉर्मल हिंग्लिश में लिखा है, मतलब हिन्दी और अंग्रेजी दोनों के शब्दों में। फ्लो है कहानी में पर कई जगह पर उलझा हुआ है।

Positive points: रहस्य बुनने की बहुत अच्छी कोशिश हुई है। शुरुवात अच्छी है, और अंत भी।

Negative points: दो भाषाशैली होने के कारण पढ़ने में दिक्कत होती है। इसके अलावा कहानी में क्या है क्यों है वो भी समझ नहीं आता। जैसे कबीर और अर्जुन दोनो sex करते हैं, पर कबीर किससे कर रहा है ये अंत तक नहीं पता चलता, और अर्जुन बीच sex scene में अवतरित हो जाता है और उसकी मां आ जाती है।

Suggestion: मुझे ऐसा लग रहा है कि आप किसी इंग्लिश कहानी का गूगल ट्रांसलेशन कई जगह प्रयोग किया है। ऐसा मत करें। और कहानी को उलझने की जगह सुलझी कहानी लिखें।

Rating: 6.5/10

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Tujhse shuru Tujhpar khatm
Writer - Aakash.


Kya Behtarin start kiye ho contest ka Aakash. sir ekdum mood set ho gaya pura. "Tujhse Shuru Tujhpar Khatm" ek aisi kahani hai jo pyaar aur dard ke gehre samundar mein dubne par reader ko majbur kar deti hai. Ye kahani sirf ek prem kahani nahi hai, balki zindagi ke un modo ki bhi kahani hai jahaan insaan apne aap se ladta hai aur jeevan ke kathin sach se takrata hai. Kahani ki sabse badi taqat uski bhasha aur shaili hai, jo kavyatmak aur sanvedansheel hai. Har shabd itna soch-samjhkar chuna gaya hai ki reader ke dil ko chhu jaata hai aur har vaakya ek kavita ka roop le leta hai.

Kahani ki rachna non-linear narrative ke zariye ki gayi hai, jo ise aur bhi rochak banata hai. Flashback aur present ke beech ka aana jaana padhne walo ko kahani mein bandhe rakhta hai aur use kahani ke har pehlu ko samajhne ka mauka deta hai. Yeh structure kahani ko ek alag hi aayaam deta hai, jisse reader har pal ko mehsoos kar sakta hai.

main lead ki antar-yatra aur uske manovigyanik sangharsh ko bahut hi prabhavshali tareeke se darshaya gaya hai. Uske dard aur pyaar ko is tarah se vyakt kiya gaya hai ki padhne wala uske saath jud jaata hai. characters ka vikas aur unka vyaktitva kahani ko aur bhi gehra banata hai, jisse ek reader unke dard aur khushi ko apna maanne lagta hai.

Kahani mein pyaar, dard, aur jeevan ke kathin sach ko sparsh kiya gaya hai. Ye themes paathak ko apni zindagi ke anubhavo se jodne mein madad karte hain aur kahani ko aur bhi prabhavshali banate hain. Bhavnaon ki gehraai ko itni khubsurti se darshaya gaya hai ki ise padhne wala har pal ko mehsoos kar sakta hai. Pyaar aur dard ke beech ki kashmakash ko bahut hi sanvedansheel tareeke se pesh kiya gaya hai.

Kahani ki gati kuch jagah dheemi lag sakti hai, lekin yeh uski gehraai aur bhavnaon ki intensity ko kam nahi karti. ye kahani ek aisa masterpiece hai jo reader ke mann mein gehre nishaan chhod jaati hai. Ye un logon ke liye ek anokhi kahani hai jo gehri aur bhavnaatmak kahaniyo ko pasand karte hain. is kahani ko kya hi rating du waise bhi staff participate nahi kar raha isiliye no rating baki kahani ekdum top notch hai

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - Kalank
Writer - Aakash.

Back to back behtarin story. "KALANK" ek dil ko chhu lene wali kahani hai jo Deep Fake AI ke durupyog ke gambhir parinaamo ko prabhavit rup se pesh karti hai. Yeh kahani sirf ek vyaktigat tragedy nahi hai, balki samaj ke liye ek important sandesh hai. Kahani Aaradhya ki hai, jo apne sapnon ko pura karne ke liye ek naye shahar jaati hai, lekin technology ke galat istemal ka shikaar ban jaati hai.

Kahani ki sabse badi khaasiyat iska samajik sandesh hai. Ye Deep Fake technology ke khatro ko ujaagar karti hai aur iske galat istemal ke prati jagrukta paida karti hai. Kahani reader ko sochne par majboor karti hai ki hum technology ka sahi istemal kaise kar sakte hai aur iske negative prabhav se kaise bach sakte hain. Aaradhya aur uske parivaar ke madhur aur dukh bhare palon ko bahut hi bhavnaatmak roop se darshaya gaya hai, jo reader ko kahani se judne mein madad karta hai. Kahani mein Delhi ke corporate culture aur parivaarik sambandhon ka chitran bahut hi vaastavik roop se kiya gaya hai, jo kahani ko aur bhi prabhavit banata hai.

Aaradhya ka character ek prernaadayak yuva ladki ke roop mein chitrit kiya gaya hai, jo apne sapno ko pura karne ke liye sankalpit hai. Uski kahani prabhavit karti hai aur unhe sochne par majboor karti hai ki aaj ke yug mein ek ladki ke liye apne sapnon ko pura karna kitna mushkil ho sakta hai. Kahani AI aur Deep Fake technology ke galat istemal par ek teekhi tippani hai, jo sochne par majboor karti hai.

Kahani ki varnan shaili bhavnaatmak aur prabhavit karne wali hai. Har patra ke emotions ko gehraai se samjhaya gaya hai, jo kahani ko aur bhi prabhavit banata hai. Kahani ke kuchh hisse aur bhi detail mein bataye ja sakte the, lekin overall kahani ka prabhav kam nahi hota. "KALANK" ek aisi kahani hai jo sirf ek vyaktigat tragedy se aage jakar ek badi samajik samasya par prakaash dalti hai. Yeh kahani Deep Fake AI ke nakaratmak prabhav ko ujaagar karti hai aur samaj ke liye ek chetna ka sandesh hai.

Yeh kahani na sirf ek vyaktigat drama hai, balki ek samajik sandesh bhi hai jo hamein technology ke galat istemal ke khatro ke prati jagruk karta hai. Aaradhya ki tragedy hame yaad dilati hai ki digital duniya mein suraksha aur naitikta kitni zaruri hai. Kahani aaj ke daur me padhni chahiye, kyunki ye hamein yaad dilati hai ki technology ke saath-saath insaniyat bhi utni hi mahatvapurna hai. kisi bhi tarah ki rating se pare hai ye kahani aur bagair kisi doubt ke ye is USC ki one of the best story hai

 

[Riky007]

Story: Haunted Underwear ki kahani
Writer: Ashish120

Story line:


Treatment:

Positive points:

Negative points: hole story (जान बूझ कर W नहीं लिखा है )

Suggestion:


Rating:

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story - विधिलिखित
Writer - Adirshi

Ek aur dil chhu lene wali story. "विधिलिखित" ek aisi kahani hai jo prem, tyag, aur balidan ke saath-saath dharm aur kartavya ke beech ulajhti hai. Yeh kahani Gauri aur Vidhyadhar ke pavitra prem ko darshati hai, jo samajik bandhano aur vyaktigat ichchao se pare hai. Kahani mein Gauri ka character ek mazbut aur prernadayak nari ka pratik hai, jo apne kartavya ke liye sab kuch kurban karne ko taiyar hai.

Kahani ki khasiyat yeh hai ki yeh sirf ek prem kahani nahi, balki ek aisi gatha hai jo itihas, rajneeti aur adhyatmikta ko bhi saath le kar chalti hai. Mughalo ke viruddh sangharsh aur rashtra ki raksha ke liye Gauri ka samarpan kahani ko ek gahra aayam deta hai. Lekhak ne bhasha aur shaili ka prayog itni khubsurati se kiya hai ki har drishya aankho ke saamne sajeev ho uthta hai.

Gauri aur Vidhyadhar ka prem sharirik aakarshan se pare ek aatmik milan hai. Unka tyag aur samarpan prem ko ek nayi paribhasha deta hai. Kahani mein maheshwar aur bhavani maa ka sandarbh kahani ko ek adhyaatmik gahraai dete hai, jo jeewan ke ucchatar lakshya ko darshata hai.

Ye kahani na sirf padhe jaane ke layak hai, balki kai baar padhe jaane yogya hai. Har baar padne par ek naya aayam aur nayi prerna milti hai. Kahani ka ant bhale hi dukhad ho, lekin yeh ek aise balidan ki kahani hai jo hamesha yaad rahegi.

Rating: kya hi du, aur meri itni aukat nahi ke itne badhiya writer aur unki kahani ko rate karu ye to galat ho jayega kafi

"विधिलिखित" un sabhi ke liye hai jo prem, tyag aur balidan ki amar kahaniyo ko pasand karte hai. Yeh ek aisi kahani hai jo aapke dil mein hamesha ke liye jagah bana legi.