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★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2024 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

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Mak

Recuérdame!
Divine
11,617
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229
Review
Story - Dead but Alive
Writer - Mak


What a wonderful story, simple but full of suspense. The style of telling the story was to remain intact. At first it felt like it would be a suspense thriller murder mystery, which it still sounds like, but it was a little different from a typical story.


The story continuously creates interest for itself, like for the first time Aniket sees Priya naked at that moment it seems perhaps Priya has died but this idea soon changes, and then we wonder why Priya is doing this, the secret of Priya's illness is finally revealed at the end.

Often, while writing a story related to mental illness, the writer gives some imaginary idea of illness according to their own view, but here too you have kept the story real by highlighting a real illness.

Ending the story with a cliffhanger may disturb the readers but such stories do not have an ending, questions remain to be raised, so that a person can think of such an ending. At the end of the story, Hemant says his wife's name is Sudha, that is why I believe in 2nd possibility, surely this was a conspiracy by Hemant and Sudha to kill Aniket and Priya and get their property.

There is another possibility that the whole story is actually just Hemant's imagination and characters like Aniket and Priya are really don't exist, but I believe in 2nd possibility that this is Hemant and Sudha's plan to kill Aniket and Priya.

The narration of the story is awesome and Aniket's signature in the letter which is shown in cursive font was a great way to make the story more realistic.

I don't find anything that can be criticised in this story. Keep it up bro.
Thanks for reading and this lovely appreciation. :love:

There is another possibility that the whole story is actually just Hemant's imagination and characters like Aniket and Priya are really don't exist, but I believe in 2nd possibility that this is Hemant and Sudha's plan to kill Aniket and Priya.

Story tumne kaafi dhyan se padhi hai.. Tumhare alawa kisi ne bhi is ending ka nahi socha I think. Main chahta tha ki kisi ko ye idea bhi aaye, isliye maine wo end me Hemant ka statement daala ki story sirf imagination hai.. and then left with Sudha in the end so readers will feel in dilemma.
 
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Sanki Rajput

Abe jaa na bhosdk
5,756
14,507
174
Review
Story - Are they still human or....
Writer - Sanki Rajput


It was not a story...it was a sketch draft of story's plot.

Iss theme par ek behetreen established plot ke sath horror story likhi ja sakti thi, Story itni choti hai ki character, plot, horror, suspense kuch bhi dhang se create nahi ho pata.

Sab kuch superfast speed me hi jata hai, jaise aap koi bahut interesting story padh rahe hai and suddenly pta chalta hai ki aage likhi hi nhi hai.


The story could be really interesting and captivating if you write it with some more efforts and more words.
Yepp, ye story nhi hai,ye bas ek real incident par based ek summary type hai :good:
 

Rajizexy

❣️and let ❣️
Supreme
48,291
51,263
304

Gloden dragon

Dragon ( ° ~ ° )
206
577
94
Story -Adhure prem ki dastaan..
Writer-Alpha_werewolf


Mai is contest ki pahli story is story ko padha hun . aur is story ko padhane ke baad mujhe ye pata chala ki is story likhne Wale ne apni Puri emotions hi likh daali hai... mujhe is story ke har incident ke sath mere aankhon men aanshu aa gaye . Is story ke likhane Wale ne apne jiwan aur maut ki sachai ko najdik se dekha hai . Mujhe is story ne mere dil me jagah bana li hai.
M@i is writer👑 ko salute karta hun is story ke liye bhai💯💯💯💯
 

Samar_Singh

Conspiracy Theorist
4,548
6,196
144
Review
Story - Adhure Sapne
Writer - Preet Kaur9

Ek Bahu aur ek sasur ke bich sex ki kahani....aisi kahaniya bahut hai iss forum par contest ke hisab se kuch bhi naya nahi tha.

Kahani bahut fast thi, sasur aur Bahu ke bich me erotic feeling ke liye kuch aur time lena chahiye tha.

Average story
 

SHOTO

I am what I am
110
283
64
Story:- पूर्ण अपूर्ण
Writer:- avsji

avsji with another banger. This is the best story I have read so far in this contest. It has everything that you expect from a good writer. I am just fan of his descriptive writing. Despite having the constraints of words yet writer will make you feel like you are part of the story with his immersive writing skill. Story is simple, predictable but still having ton of emotions and brilliant ending which is extremely realistic, sometimes you need to sacrifice your own feelings for the sake of others and can be felt by any many individuals. Vocabulary of this story is top notch and yes, I again struggled with few words as I had to translate some.
For me this story is winner of this contest.

5/5 for this masterpiece.
 
10,458
48,829
258
Story - दंश
Writer - Kala Nag

आप का लेखन , आप की राइटिंग स्किल , आप का टेलेंट ; इस पुरे फोरम पर मुझसे बेहतर कोई नही जान सकता !
इस बार भी आपने एक बेहतरीन स्टोरी हमारे लिए प्रस्तुत किया ।

बहुत खुबसूरत स्टोरी थी । अब की बार आपने स्टोरी के अंदर अपने शब्दकोश का दायरा और भी बढ़ा दिया है । एक शॉर्ट स्टोरी के माध्यम से एक बड़ा संदेश देने का प्रयास भी किया है ।

हम अक्सर पढ़ते आए हैं या फिर सुनते आए हैं कि अपने कर्मों का फल इसी जन्म मे मिलता है ।
हमने यह भी पढ़ा - सुना है कि अगर इस जन्म मे आपको अपने कर्म का फल न मिले तो यह किसी अन्य जन्म मे तो अवश्य ही मिलता है ।
हमने यह भी पढ़ा है कि आपके सत्कर्म और बुरे कर्म का फल यदि उस व्यक्ति पर कुछ भी न पड़ा हो तो कम से कम उसके संतान पर तो अवश्य ही पड़ना ही पड़ना है ।

पर आपकी स्टोरी ने उन तीनों थ्योरी मे तीसरे थ्योरी पर मुहर लगाई ।

विश्वंभर पटनायक उर्फ विवेक ने अपनी युवाकाल मे एक लड़की का बलात्कार किया । पटनायक साहब ने इसके बाद काफी तरक्की की । एक ऐसे बैरिस्टर बने जो कभी कोई केस हारा ही नही । अपना एक फर्म तक बना लिया । लेकिन गौर करने वाली बात यह थी कि उन्होने वकील के रूप मे हमेशा गलत लोगों का साथ दिया ।

पटनायक साहब को कुदरत ने सजा तो मुकर्रर की पर उनकी पुत्री की बलात्कार और वह भी उनके ही नाजायज पुत्र के द्वारा ।

अद्भुत कांसेप्ट चुना है आपने ! दो अलग-अलग कालखंड के मर्द - दोनो रेपिस्ट । दो महिला और दोनो ही अलग कालखंड की - दोनो ही बलात्कार की शिकार ।

किस मर्द को कुदरत ने सजा दी ? किस महिला के साथ कुदरत ने न्याय किया ?
जबाव - शुन्य ।
औरत का जीवन सदियों से ऐसा ही चलते आ रहा है । और इस सब्जेक्ट पर आधारित यह प्रस्तुती , नो डाऊट आउटस्टैंडिंग थी ।
 

Riky007

उड़ते पंछी का ठिकाना, मेरा न कोई जहां...
20,908
44,585
259
Story: Karmon ka fal
Writer: VAJRADHIKARI

Story Line: crime thriller पर आधारित ये कहानी एक बेटे के बदले की है।

Treatment: कहानी की शुरुवात बहुत अच्छी है, लेकिन बाद में कहां दम तोड़ देती है।

Positive points: बस शुरुवात।

Negative points: कहानी का मध्य भाग, जब से कहानी के खलनायकों के खुलासा होता है, बकवास लगने लगा।

Sugesstion: प्लॉट अच्छा था लेकिन कहानी में विलेन को बनाने के चक्कर में गुड़गोबर कर दिया।

Rating: 6.5/10
 

Mak

Recuérdame!
Divine
11,617
11,504
229
Story: 2 - kameene.....

Written by: Aladdin_

Bhai kahani se jyada to tumne isme emoji daale hue hain! Bahut hi jyada irritating laga wo.. Writing a Comedy story is very difficult and I appreciate that you tried to make that effort. But, again you could have worked on the plot of the story. This was a pretty weak attempt.

Best of Luck for the contest!
 
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Mak

Recuérdame!
Divine
11,617
11,504
229
Story: पूर्ण अपूर्ण

Written by: avsji

This is the best story of this contest IMHO. One might say the storyline is a bit simple, but the way you have written it, and the way you have presented it, was just marvelous. I mean every word and every sentence makes you feel its essence. I was completely lost in the story for quite some time. I read it a few days back and read it today again. Your writing makes us awestruck. There are no mistakes in the whole story. I am just mesmerized by it.

Xossip par ek writer the or bade achhe dost the "Ashiq Tera" ID name se, Your writing reminds me of him. Just loved your story.

Best of Luck for the contest!
 
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