Episode 2: Control and Only Control
Arnav ko hamesha se lagta tha ki log zyada bolte hain.
Woh bolte rehte hain taaki khamoshi unse sawal na pooch le.
Clinic se nikalne ke baad usne gaadi start nahi ki. Parking lot almost khaali tha. Shaam ho chuki thi, par sheher abhi bhi zinda tha—horns, log, awaazein. Sab kuch chal raha tha. Sirf woh ruk gaya tha
Steering wheel par uske haath the, bilkul tight grip mein. Jaise agar chhod diya, toh kuch galat ho jayega.
Raghav ki awaaz abhi bhi uske dimaag mein ghoom rahi thi.
“Yeh theek nahi hai, Arnav.”
Logon ko har ajeeb cheez theek nahi lagti hai.
Par ajeeb cheezon ke bina kuch bhi yaad rakhne layak nahi hota.
Usne aakhir gaadi start ki.
Ghar pohonchne tak usne music nahi chalaya. Silence zyada honest hoti hai—yeh Arnav maanta tha. Silence mein koi jhooth nahi hota. Sirf tum… aur tumhare khayal.
Flat ka darwaaza kholte hi wahi familiar smell—cleaning liquid aur thodi si purani hawa. Ghar saaf tha. Hamesha hota tha. Har cheez apni jagah par. Sofa ke cushions perfectly aligned, kitchen counter spotless, curtains seedhi.
Log kehte the yeh discipline hai.
Arnav jaanta tha—yeh control hai.
Usne shoes utaare, unhe seedha rakh kar wall ke paas lagaya. Phir bina light jalaye andar chala gaya. Andhera usse disturb nahi karta tha. Andhera predictable hota hai.
Bedroom mein jaakar woh bed par baith gaya.
Mobile uske haath mein tha, screen blank.
Usne check nahi kiya.
Intezaar bhi ek aadat ban chuka tha.
Raghav ne poocha tha—“Tum kya mehsoos karte ho?”
Arnav ko sawaal ajeeb laga tha. Mehsoos karna koi option thodi hota hai. Mehsoos toh hota hi hai. Chaaho ya na chaaho.
Usse yaad aaya jab pehli baar usse yeh samajh aaya tha ki woh baaki logon jaisa nahi hai. Bachpan mein, jab log rote the, woh sirf observe karta tha. Jab log haste the, woh timing note karta tha. Feelings uske liye hamesha ek pattern rahe—samajhne layak, par mehsoos karne layak nahi.
Phir bhi…
kuch cheezein usse mehsoos hoti thi.
Usne apni kalai dekhi. Pulse thodi tez thi. Raghav ne sahi kaha tha—body jhooth nahi bolti. Par body ko bhi aadat ho jaati hai.
Usne aankhen band ki.
Wahan ek presence thi. Naam nahi, chehra nahi—sirf ek feeling. Jaise koi bilkul paas khada ho, par touch na kare. Arnav ke liye yeh feeling unfamiliar nahi thi. Yeh use calm karti thi.
“Tum yahan ho,” usne dheere se kaha, almost breath ke saath.
Usse pata nahi tha woh kis se baat kar raha hai.
Par baat karna zaroori tha.
Mobile vibrate nahi hua.
Phir bhi usne uthaya.
Screen par koi notification nahi tha.
Phir bhi usne dekha.
Yeh bhi ek aadat thi.
Log sochte hain obsession loud hota hai. Calls, messages, jealousy. Arnav jaanta tha obsession shaant hota hai. Woh chup chaap tumhari routine ban jaata hai. Tumhe lagta hai tum control mein ho—jab tak tum bina uske soch hi nahi paate.
Kitchen mein jaakar usne paani piya. Glass dhone ke baad exactly usi jagah rakha jahan se uthaya tha. Small cheezein matter karti thi. Small cheezein big picture ko stable rakhti hain.
Raghav ka chehra uske dimaag mein aaya. Concern. Fear. Distance.
Log beech mein kyun aate hain?
Arnav ne khud se poocha.
Shayad kyunki unhe lagta hai unka hona zaroori hai.
Par zaroorat dangerous hoti hai.
Bed par wapas jaakar woh seedha let gaya. Neend abhi bhi door thi. Neend usse pasand nahi karti thi, aur woh neend ko force nahi karta tha.
Ceiling ko dekhte hue usne socha—agar koi usse sach mein samajh leta, toh kya hota? Agar koi uski khamoshi ko language samajh leta?
Uske hothon par ek halki si muskaan aayi.
Possibility ki wajah se nahi.
Certainty ki wajah se.
“Sab theek hai,” usne khud se kaha. “Sab control mein hai.”
Par kahin deep andar, ek aur thought bhi tha—bilkul shaant, bilkul clear:
Control ka matlab yeh nahi hota ki kuch toot nahi sakta.
Kabhi kabhi control ka matlab hota hai—tum ready ho jab kuch tootega.
Arnav ne aankhen band kar li.
Aur andhere mein, bina kisi naam ke, bina kisi chehre ke—
woh feeling phir se paas aa gayi.
Stay tunned next update soon