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Riya(Rajiv ko kandhe se hilate huye): Rajiv… utho na kya kar rahe ho.
Rajiv(dusri taraf karwat badal kar): Riya plz abhi mujhe sone do aur fir Office v jana hai.
Riya: tumhara hamesha ka aisa hi hai. Ab bahut unromantic ho gaye ho tum. Pehle hamesha mere liye subah uth kar coffee banate the aur abhi dekho kaise aram se so rahe ho.
Rajiv(chidhte huye): yaar dekho main koi college jata launda nahi hun jo hamesha aise pamper karta rahu tumhe. Ab insaan ko neend a rahi ho toh kya kare?
Riya(gusse mein bed se uth kar): han wo toh main v janti hun k ab budhe ho gaye ho tum. Bed par v ab jyada der nahi tikte tum. Meri mano toh sanyas le lo abhi tumhare bas ka nahi raha.
Riya Rajiv ko taane marte huye apne kapde pehan rahi thi aur Rajiv uski batein sun kar ab bahut jyada hi pak chuka tha. Toh fir aur kya hona tha, Rajiv ke ander ki male ego ko jaise hi thoda jhatka laga toh neend ho gayi chhu mantar aur bhai saab bed se aise uth khade huye kaise gaand mein mirchi lagi ho. Rajiv ke chehre ki taraf dekh kar Riya ki v fat gayi kionk use v ehsaas toh ho hi gaya tha k wo flow flow mein kuchh jyada hi bak gayi.
Riya(darte huye): I am sorry Rajiv wo thoda gusse mein jyada hi bol gayi.
Rajiv(Riya ke chehre ko jor se apne hath mein jakad kar): pehli baat k age se mere samne aisi hoshiyari mat jhadna aur dusri baat k tum meri biwi nahi ho toh apni aukat mein rehna seekho. Kionk agar jyada udi na toh par kaatna mujhe v ata hai.
Rajeev ki ankhon se is waqt jaise shole baras rahe the aur uska yeh raudar roop dekh kar Riya buri tarah se dar gayi thi aur uski ankhein bhar ayi thi.
“I am sorry Sir.” Riya ne ruyansi si awaj mein jaise taise itna bola toh Rajiv ki gaand ki aag thodi shant huyi aur usne Riya ka jabda chhoda aur seedha wahsroom mein chala gaya. Riya ke jabde mein kafi tez dard ho raha tha aur uski gori komal gaalon par Rajiv ki majbut pakad ke saboot saaf dikh rahe the jiski wajah se uske ansoo beh nikle aur wo wahin bed par baith kar rone lagi.
Rahul v uth kar khana wagera kha kar apne ghar se Sonu ki garage ke liye nikal chuka tha.
Sonu(Garage ke bahar khada tha): sala pata nahi kahan reh gaya kab se phone karke bola hai k 20 minute mein a raha hun par sale ko abhi ek ghanta hone ko hai aur uper se yeh dilli ki garmi. Madarchod gaand ke chhed mein paseena bhar gaya. June ke mahine mein bahar niklna aise lagta hai jaise nangi gaand leke Grill pe baithna. Abe kab ayega sale bhadwe.
Sonu ka garmi ke mare bura haal tha aur udher Rahul traffic mein fasa huya tha. Jaise taise bike ko dhayein bayein karke wo Sonu ke garage tak pahunch hi gaya. Sonu ke chehre ke haw bhaw se hi wo samajh gaya k bechare ki chudi padi hai aur iska bill ab usi pe fatne wala hai.
“dekh bhai isse pehle k tu meri maa behan ek kare. Main pehle hi bata deta hun k ismein meri koi galti nahi hai. Tu janta hi hai na yahan hi traffic ko sala utni pure dilli ke sir mein juyein nahi hongi jitni is sehar ki sadakon par karein hain. Uper se madarchod ke bache yeh police wale road ki ek side block karke baithe hain. Sala fir bolte hain k desh tarraki nahi karta. Sala tarraki ki maa ka bhosda. Bhai agar tu Lutyens delhi mein sex karke niklega na toh paharganj ate ate teri bandi ki delivery ho jayegi. Aur bhai agar ….”
Rahul bechara non stop bole hi ja raha tha taki use Sonu se gaalian na sunni pade aur Sonu ko v realize ko chuka tha k ismein us bechare ki koi galti nahi hai.
Sonu(Rahul ko beech mein rok kar): are bhai theek hai main samajh gaya ab Thoda brake maar aur Sharma ke yahan chal kar use cheque de ate hain.
Rahul(chain ki saans lekar): han bhai thank you. Chal a baith, par hum kisi aur taraf se jayenge. Mere ghar wali side pata nahi Sarkar ki kya maa chud gayi hai k adha road band hai aur traffic ka bura haal hai.
Sonu(bike par baith kar): han chal theek hai jidhar se tujhe jana hai chal.
Fir Rahul ne Bike start ki aur wo Sharma ke paas jane ko nikal pade.
Sonu: sale tu news nahi sunta kya?
Rahul: na yaar. In laudon ko dekhne se achha hai main chhota bheem dekhlun. Par tu kion puchh raha hai?
Sonu: sale tabhi tujhe nahi pata k Aj kya huya hai?
Rahul(Signal par Bike rok kar): ab yeh signal a gaya. Khair tu bata k kya huya hai aj jo mujhe nahi pata.
Sonu: sale Lutyens delhi ke ek hotel mein kisi ne din dihade Dubai ke kisi sheikh ki mayia chod di.
Rahul: kya matlab k mayia chod di.
Sonu: sale matlab k use tapka daala.
Rahul(Hairan hote huye): sach mein bhenchod! Par sale Lutyens mein toh itna secure area hai wahan kaise yeh sab ho gaya?
Sonu: pata ni sale. Bol rahe hain k kuchh bada locha hai tabhi toh police ne Hotel ke aas paas ka area band kar rakha hai. Aur sale tu bike age badha signal Green ho rakha hai.
Rahul(bike ko age badhate huye): Khair sala aj kal kuchh bol nahi sakte k kahan par security milegi. Agar itne high profile ilake mein yeh sab hone lagega toh baki jagah kya hoga?
Sonu: sale tu v dhyan rakha kar Tera bungalow v toh udher hi hai.
Rahul: ab tu mere se gaand pe laat khayega. Itna v koi kaand ni ho gaya aur sale ek khoon kya ho gaya tune toh Lutyens ko seedha afghanistan bana diya.
Sonu: ab mujhe kya hai, mar sale. Tabhi main bolta hun k apna karol bagh mast hai.
Rahul: han sale bande pe banda chadh rakha hai yahan. Par nahi tumhare hisab se toh Yeh delhi ka Switzerland hai.
Rahul ne Sonu ko taunt marte huye kaha toh Sonu ko v taw a gaya.
“sale tu toh baat hi mat kar. Agar ab tu yeh raeeson ki delhi aur asli dilli ke beech behas karna chahta hai toh ek kaam kar yeh bike side mein laga aur dono aj koi faisla karke hi jayenge.”
Rahul(bike rok kar): chal utar.
Sonu(darte huye): sale main toh majak kar raha tha. Aur gaand maraye yeh behas. Humein kya lena is chutiyapanti se hum toh bhai bhai hain na.
Rahul: abe sale yeh Sharma ka office a gaya hai. Uske liye bol raha hun k utar.
Sonu(chain ki saans lekar): oh achha toh tu iski baat kar raha tha. Vaise main darta nahi hun tere se bas mujhe aisa hai k kisi faltu topic ki wajah se hum dono mein jhagda nahi hona chahiye.
Rahul: han main samajh gaya bhai. Aur mujhe maaf karde Karol bagh hi best hai. Ab hum chalein.
Sonu(bike se utar kar): han chal Maine konsa tujhe pakad rakha hai.
Rahul: tu toh sach Sharma ke samne nahi ana chahta tha toh abhi bahar hi rukega yah chalega mere sath.
Sonu: yaar actually ek baar na iski car repair hone ayi thi toh baad mein kharach ho lekar isse tu tu main main ho gayi. Toh maine ise thoda jyada hi bol diya. Mujhe laga tha k sala broker hai toh Kameena hi hoga but ab jab tune bataya k yeh theek banda hai toh socha main v isse us din ke liye maafi maang lun.
Rahul: han sahi kaha tune. Chal fir sath hi chal mere.
Ander Sharma Rahul ke plot ke pure documents nikal kar baitha tha. Tabhi uske peon ne akar use Rahul ke ane ki khabar di toh usne unhein ander bhejne ko bol diya.
Peon(Rahul ke paas jakar): Apko Sharma ji ne ander bulaya hai.
Rahul: thank you bhai.
Fir Rahul aur Sonu dono Sharma ke office ke ander chale gaye. Sonu thoda awkward sa feel kar raha tha. Use lag raha tha k kahin Sharma use dekhte hi us par bhadak na jaye. Isliye wo Rahul ke peeche peeche hi chal raha tha.
Sharma(Un dono ko ander ate dekh): Are aiye Sinha saab. Main ap hi ka intezar kar raha tha. Aur yeh sajjan?. Vaise kuchh jaane pehchane se lag rahe hain.
Sharma Sonu ko dekh kar use yaad karne ki kosish kar raha tha toh Sonu bechara guilt ke mare daba hi ja raha tha.
Rahul: actually yeh mera best friend hai Sonu. Yeh Yahin paas mein hi ek garage chalata hai.
Sharma: han yaad aya. Wahi na Dhillon garage?
Sonu(darte darte): han wahi. Ap ek baar aye the wahan car repair karwane.
Sharma: han aur apne mera kuchh jyada hi samman kar diya tha. Khair chhodiye us baat ko. Dhandhe mein aisa chalta hi rehta hai. Aur sunaiye kaisa chal raha hai kaam aj kal.
Sonu(chain ki saans lekar): han main v maafi chahunga us din ke liye. Wo kya hai na k “Gusse mein thoda idhar udhar nikal jata hun.” Aur bas kaam dhandha toh theek hi hai. Ap sunaiye apni.
Sharma: bas time paas ho raha hai. Khair aiye ap log baithiye. Aur bataiye Sinha saab kya haal hain apke.
Rahul(chair par baithte huye): bas kripa hai apki Sharma ji. Khair once again kal ke liye thanks. And agar kabhi possible huya toh puri kosish karunga k apka favour return kar sakun.
Sharma: are nahi sir abhi ap mujhe sharminda kar rahe hain. Apne Humein apni sewa ka awsar diya, hamare liye yahi bahut bada upkaar hai apka. Warna hamari kismat kahan thi Sinha khandan ke kisi kaam ane ki.
Rahul: Khair yeh toh apka badapan hai warna mere baap ka toh pata nahi but main toh abhi business mein bacha hi hun.
Sonu(dheere se Rahul ke kaan mein): han tujhe lollipop dun bache?
Rahul(dheere se): sale agar abhi Sharma yahan nahi hota na toh teri lulli ukhad kar teri gaand mein daal deta.
Sonu: bhenchod meri itni v beizzati mat kar sale main ek fully equipped mard hun aur tu lulli bol raha hai.
Sharma(un dono ki taraf dekh kar): kya huya kuchh problem hai kya. Agar koi issue hai toh ap khul kar mujhe bata sakte hain.
Rahul(fake sa hanste huye): are nahi Sharma ji issue kya hoga. Yeh toh bas bol raha tha k jaldi kaam khatam karlo fir ise kuchh jaruri kaam hai. Ise bina tel ke gaand marwani hai.
Last wali line Rahul ne bahut hi dhire boli jise sirf Sonu hi sun paya aur iske jawab mein usne Rahul ke pair par apna pair jor se de mara. Ek baat ke liye toh Rahul ke gote bahar a gaye par usne bahut hi bhakshak kosish ki k uska reaction na nikle.
Sharma(Rahul ke chehre ki taraf dekh kar): par pata nahi mujhe aisa kion lag raha hai k ap kuchh pareshan hain.
Rahul(apne thopde par nakli si smile ka wallpaper chipka kar): are nahi Sharma ji. Everything is fine. Ap bas jaldi se paperwork kijiye aur apna Token ka cheque lijiye taki hamari yeh deal pakki ho jaye.
Sharma: han sahi kaha apne. Main bas abhi do minute mein stamp paper lekar aya.
Fir Sharma wahan se uth kar bahar chala gaya aur Uske jate hi Rahul ne na aaw dekha na taao seedha ek chamata Sonu ki garden par de maara.
Sonu(halka sa cheekhte huye): sale maar kion raha hai.
Rahul: sale tujhe samajh mein nahi ata k hum ek important deal kar rahe hain. Aur sale abhi hum college mein nahi hai , thoda professional ban.
Sonu: sale professional banne ko kya ab main roj tye laga kar haga karun. Aur bc tu v toh bakwas kar raha tha.
Rahul: par chutiye shuru toh tune kiya tha na. Aur bhai plz abhi do minute shant hoke baith ja.
Sonu: theek hai par tu yeh sab jaldi nipta. Mujhe bhukh lagi hai.
Rahul: theek hai hum jaldi hi nikal jayenge but abhi aur koi chutiya harkat nahi chahiye mujhe.
Sonu: theek nahi karunga kuchh.
Abhi wo dono baat hi kar rahe the k tabhi Sharma sare documents lakar office mein a pahuncha toh wo ek dum shant hokar baith gaye. Lekin Tabhi Sharma ke phone ki ring baji aur usne dekha toh yeh Riya ki call thi. Sharma ko abhi samajh mein nahi a raha tha k wo use kya bole. Toh usne phone kaat diya. Usne 4-5 baar try kiya but Sharma ne ab phone band hi kar diya tha. Udher Rajiv is sab se pareshan apne office mein idhar udhar chakkar kaat raha tha aur Riya apna phone speaker par lagaye baar baar Sharma ka number try kar rahi thi.
Rajiv(Riya ki taraf gusse se dekhte huye): tumne toh kaha tha k wo maan jayega . But now what the fuck was that? He is not even answering your call. Abhi ek kaam karo k jaldi se gaadi nikalwao main khud hi wahan jakar sab settle karunga.
Riya toh aj subah se hi kafi chup chap si gum rahi thi aur uper se Sharma ki wajah se use Rajiv ke samne aur sharmindagi ka samna karna pad raha tha toh wo bina kuchh bole wahan se chali gayi. Aur Rajiv ne gusse ke mare ek ghunsa apne table par de maara.
