Incest BHAI BAHEN KI SHAADI (incest)

[Sweetboy232]

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★ INDEX ★
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♡ Family Introduction ♡​

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[tyro]

Shandaar update bhai

Update -09​

Pishle update mein ​

Fir mane bhut sochne ke badh Didi se baat karne ka fesla kiya or bed se uth gaya.​

Bed se uth kar main Dhere Dhere Didi ke pass gaya or Didi ko bola.......(Jhijkte hue bola..)​

Ab Aage ​

Main bolne hi wala tha ke Didi ne pishe mud kar dekha to main toda sa ghabra gaya or pass main pada kush dekha or hadbada kar mere muh se nikal gya......​

Main : vo vo Comb/ Kangi chaiye tha...​

Komal kush nahi boli or mujhe Comb/kangi pakda diya. Main fir ase komal ke pishe khad kar mirror main dekh kar hair sahi karne laga. Komal mere Aage ki side bath kar narvous feel kar raho thi.....​

main mirror mein komal Didi ko dekh reha tha par komal Didi apni Ankhe niche kar ke mere vaha se Jane ka intezar kar rahi thi.....fir mene kangi/comb vahi pass mein rakha or vapis se bed par aa kar bath gaya.

Narvous to mein bhi bhut tha...Ab Didi ke pass Jane ki himmat nahi rahi. Jo todi bhut himmat thi vo abhi nikal gyi.

Main bed par bath kar fir se mobile chalane laga but mobile main kha dil lagne wala tha. Main bich bich main komal Didi ko dekh leta but kush kar nahi pa reha tha kyuki mujhe komal Didi ke gusse ka pata tha. Or bolta bhi Kya.

Fir kush time main komal tiyar ho gyi. Komal bhut hi sunder lag rahi thi. Komal ka itna khubsurat sa chera dekh kar mere ankhe hat hi nahi rahi thi. Gora sa face, gallon par halki se lali ayi Hui thi, gaalon pe halke ghare dimple. Komal ko ase dekh kar ab main toda bhakne laga tha. Main ikk baar fir se bhul gya ke hum dono bhai bahen hai. Pata nahi sharam thi ja kya komal mujse najar nahi mila rahi. Vo bus najar niche kar ke apne kaam mein lagi hui thi.

Komal uth kar bed ke pass ayi or beg mein apne phone ka charger rakhne lagi. Komal bilkul bhi mere tarf nahi dekh rahi thi. ​

Niche se taiji ki awaj ayi jo shayad komal ko awaj laga rahi thi. ​

Awaj sunte hi komal bhar seediyon pe gyi or taiji ko kush bola or fir se room main aa gyi or sidha washroom main chali gyi. Main pata nahi kyu komal ki har harkat ko note kar reha tha. ​

Ase hi ab komal or tauji- taiji ke jane ka time aa gya. Ab fir se mujhe pata nahi kya hone laga. Komal ne bed se apna bag uthaya or bhar Jane lagi. Pata nahi kyu ajj Maan to kar reha tha ke komal ka hath pakdu or ikk baar gale laga lu but ab itni himmat bhi to hone chahiye jo mujme abi nahi thi.​

Komal to in sabse bilkul anjan thi. Komal ko bilkul bhi farak nahi pad reha tha. Komal to shayad mujse dur hi rahena chati thi. ​

Main or kush to kar nahi sakta tha to jese hi komal beg lekar niche Jane lagi to Main jaldi se bed se utha or komal ko bola..​

Main : mujhe beg pakda do main niche le aata hu......​

Komal kush nahi boli or mujhe beg pakda kar room se bhar Jane lagi or main bhi beg le kar piche piche Jane laga.​

Niche ja kar dekha tha tauji- taiji already tiyar ho chuke the. Shayad komal Didi ka hi wait kar rahe the. ​

Kafi time ho gaya tha to tauji jaldi se uthe or maa or mujhe bole......​

Tauji : thik hai ab hume nikalana chahiye kafi time ho gaya hai...​

5-6 hours ka rasta tha. Or uper se thand ka mussam tha. Isliye tauji jitna jaldi ho sakta tha nikalna chate the. ​

Yeh bol kar tauji beg lekar bhar gadi ke pass Jane Lage to main bhi komal ka beg le kar unke piche piche Jane laga. Tauji or maine gadi main beg rakh diye tab tak maa, komal or taiji bhi bhar aa gyi.​

Ab mere halat to bhut buri ho gyi thi. Mujhe kush samaj nahi aa reha tha ke Pata nahi Aesa kyu ho reha hai. Komal phele bhi kafi baar apne mama ke jaha gyi thi but tab mujhe kabi kush fark nahi padta tha. But ajj aesa kyu ho reha hai uska jawab bhi mere pass nahi tha. Bus Dil jahi chata tha ke komal na jaye. But ab shayad yeh hona mumkin nahi tha. ​

Tauji gadi main bath gye. komal maa ke gale lagi fir phele taiji or fir komal gadi main bath gyi.​

Komal ne mere tarf ikk baar bhi nahi dekha. mujhe thoda bura to laga but kar bhi kya sakta tha. Komal or taiji ke bathne ke badh tauji ne gadi start ki or ghar se nikal gye.​

Main or maa ghar main aa gye. Maa apne room main chali gyi or main apne room main chala gya. Main apne Room main ja kar bed pe late gya or kush sochne laga.​

Mere dimag mein apne aap se bhut sare sawal chal rahe the. Jinka jawab shayad abi mere pass nahi tha.​

Main maan mein soch reha tha ke : kya ho gaya hai mujhe? Mere Dil main ase ajeeb se feeling kyu AA Rahi hai? Komal ke dur jane se ajj mujhe problem kyu ho Rahi hai ? Jabki komal phele kai baar Akele apne mama ke jaha gyi hai. Tab to mujhe kabi Aesa feel nahi hua. Aesa kyu ho reha hai? Jaha tak ki komal to ab mujse baat tak nahi karti. In sabi swalon se Mera dimag fatne laga tha.​

Yahi sab sochte sochte pata nahi kab mere Ankh lag gyi.​

Mere ankh sham ko karib 06:00pm par maa ke awaj dene par khuli. Mane uth kar dekha to maa Room ke darwaje par kadi thi. Or mujhe awaj laga rahi thi. Maa ne mujhe jaldi se niche aane ka bola or khud niche chali gyi.​

Main uth kar phele bathroom gya or muh dho kar bhar aya. Mane bed pe pada apna phone uthaya or niche chala gaya. maa kichan mein thi. Main sidha kichan main chala gaya. Jaha maa kush kaam kar rahi thi. Mane maa se pusha...​

Main : Maa aapne mujhe kyu bulaya...​

Maa : Haan beta....aa gye..​

Main : kya kaam hai maa....​

Maa : yeh saman le kar ana hai markit se.....​

Maa ne mujhe ikk list di.....​

Main : thik hai.....​

Fir mane Friz se ikk botal nikali or pani pe kar kichan se bhar aa gaya. Mane jaldi se apne room se bike ki key le aya or fir markit ke liye nikal gaya.​

Pure Raste fir se vahi sab sawal mere dimag main chalne lage. Mujhe kush samaj nahi aa reha tha ke Akhir ho kya reha hai.​

Jahi sab sochte sochte main markit phoch gaya. Ikk shop par ja kar samaan ki list shopkeeper ko di or vo samman niklvane laga.​

Vahi pass main ikk new married couple bhi saman le reha tha or ladki ka face mere side tha or ladke ki peth mere side thi. Pishe se dekhne se vo ladka mujhe kush jana phechana lag reha tha.​

But face dusri side hone se kush pata nahi chal reha tha.​

Main bhut gor se use dekh reha tha. Achank se us ladki ki najar muj pe padi or mujhe unki side itne gor se dekhte hue paya to vo ladki mujhe bhut gusse se dekh kar face niche kar liya or main bhi toda hadbda kar ider uder dekhne laga. Mujhe pata chal gaya ke us ladki ne kush galat samaj liya hai. Fir main kush der unki side nahi dekha.​

But Mera dhayan fir se us ladke ki side gaya ke us ladke ko pishe se dekh kar aesa kyu laga jese main ise janta hu. Mane ikk baar fir se mud kar us ladke ko dekha abi bhi uska face dusri side tha or ladki bhi niche face kiye hue thi.​

Main fir se gor se thoda side se ho kar dekhne laga or Achank fir se ladki ne face uper kiya or mujhe fir se use dekhte hue dekh liya. Mere najar usse mili to main fir se hadbada gaya or dusri side muh kar liya. Is baar ladki ko shayad bhut gussa aya or usne apne pati ko sab bata diya.​

Uska pati mud kar mere side aya or mujhe kande pe hath laga kar bola....​

Ladka : Hello bhai sabh.....​

Main toda dar gaya tha kyuki Anjane main hi sahi par mere galti to thi. Chahe main us ladke ko dekh reha tha but mujhe pata tha koi bhi mere baat nahi manega. Sab ko lagega main hi galt najar se dekh reha hu. Sab ladki ko hi support karege. But todi himmat karke main pishe muda to dekha.....​

Ladka : Are Ravi Tum....​

Main : Suraj tum.....​

Yeh ladka Suraj mere School ka friend tha jo 10th ke badh kisi Dusre shar main apne mama ke vaha chala gya tha. Or uske badh ajj mila tha. School se jane ke badh phele kush month phone par hamare baat hoti thi but dhere dhere phone karna bhi band ho gya. Suraj ikk pass ke gav main rehta tha or school main hum bhut ache dost the. Ikk dusre ke ghar se dur hone ke karan hum ajj tak 1-2 baar hi ikk dusre ke ghar gye the. Mere maa papa or uske maa papa kabi kabi school ke parents meeting mein hi apas mein milte the. But Suraj ke maa papa ka sahbav acha tha to mere maa papa or suraj ke maa papa ikk dusre ko ache se janne Lage the.​

Suraj : Are yrr Ravi kesa hai tu....( Halki se smile se )​

Main : main thik hu tum batao......(Mere saanse abi bhi todi yej chal Rahi thi)​

Suraj : main bhi thik hu.....or bata ghar main Uncle Aunty kese hai....​

Main : sab thik hai... Tu bata kha tha itne saal....kabi mud ke aya hi nahi ider or Uncle-Aunty sab kese hai...​

Uncle-Aunty ka naam sunte hi Suraj ka chehra utar gya or dukhi maan se bola....​

Suraj : Vo maa to pishle saal hi gujar gayi hai.....( Dukhi maan se)​

Main : ohhh Sorry....(Dukhi ho kar bola )​

Main : kya hua tha.....(Udaas maan se)​

Suraj : Herat Attack hua tha....(Nam Ankho se)​

Main : Hmm....​

Suraj : chal shod yeh sab bate Jo hona tha vo ho gaya....Ab kya hi milega Dukhi ho kar.( Ankhe pochte hue)​

Or bata kha tha tu itne saal kabi apne dost ki yaad nahi ayi..​

Main : yeh yaad wali baat to tu mat kar....tu hi shod kar gya tha ....​

Pass main khadi uski wife hum dono ko dekh rahi thi....​

Main : main kab se tumhe pishe se phechane ki koshish kar reha tha but tumhara face dusri side tha....​

Suraj : ohh Tum mujhe dekh rahe the....or hum galat samaj liye.....(Halki se smile se bola)​

Main : kya samaj liye.....(Mujhe pata tha but anjan bante hue)​

Suraj : kush nahi.....vo bus mere wife ko laga tum use dekh rahe ho....( Mushkrate hue apni wife ko dekh kar)​

Main : main nahi vo......( Thoda sa jhijkte hue)​

Main itna hi bola tha ke Suraj bola...​

Suraj : Haan Haan bhai rahne do mujhe sab pata hai tum ase nahi ho......main bachpan se janata hu tumhe....(Haste hue)​

Main : hmmm...​

Suraj : Are main to bhul hi Gaya...yeh mere biwi hai Sunita....​

Main : Namaste.....( Hath jod kar)​

Usne bhi hath jod kar namaste bola....​

Suraj : or bata kya kar reha hai aaj kal....​

Main : main vo ikk govt. bank main job karta hu ....or tum kya kar rahe ho....​

Suraj : Badiya hai ......Main govt. School main teacher hu......​

Main : fir to bhut badiya hai...​

Itne Main shopkeeper ne mujhe awaj lagai. shopkeeper ne saman ka bill bana kar mujhe de diya or main bill pay Kiya.​

Suraj ka bhi saman ho gaya tha or saman le kar mere pass aya or bola...​

Suraj : chal aja kahi sath main bathte hai....​

Main : nahi main chalta hu abi.​

Suraj : Aree Aaja bhai...bhut deno badh mile hai todi der bathte hai....​

Suraj ke bhut jid karne par mujhe suraj ko haan bolna pada or fir hum ikk restaurant chale gye...ikk table par bath kar Suraj ne kush order Kiya or hum baat karne lage....​

Suraj ki wife sunita Suraj se bich bich main kush normal hi baat karti or jada tar hamari baate sun rahi thi...sunita ikk samjdaar, padi likhi or sanskari ladki thi.​

Main Suraj se baat karte hue bola.....​

Main : Suraj tumne shadi kab ki or mujhe bataya tak nahi ....​

Suraj : Nahi yrrr maa ke chale jane ke badh bhut Jaldi main shadi karni padi... Shadi mein sirf Badi didi or mama ke ghar ke log hi the...​

Main: Haan....​

Suraj : Mere shod tum bata tumne shadi ki ke nahi abi tak......ja abi tak ladkiyaon ko ignore mar rahe ho....​

Main ab kya hi bolta ke mane shadi ki ja nahi or ki bhi hai to kisse ki hai. Ab mujhe fir se komal ki yaad aa gyi or main chup ho gaya. Mujhe chup hua dekh Suraj bola..​

Suraj: kya hua Ravi....​

Mujhe pata nahi kya hua or maine ikk dum se bola...​

Main : Haan.......​

Mere muh se Haan sunte hi Suraj ne sawalon ki boshar kar di....​

Suraj : Kab ki shadi tumne ?....kisse ki ?....kon hai ?....kha se hai?​

Mane Haan bol to Diya Par ab mujhe samaj nahi aa reha tha ke Suraj ke sawalon ka kya jawab du ke kab ki shadi or kisse ki. Ab mujhe kush to sawalon ka jawab dena hi tha to mane bola.​

Main : kush months phele ki ikk ladki se....​

Suraj : haan bhai pata hai ladki se hi karoge or ladke se thodi karoge....(Haste hue..)​

Main : Haan....(Halki se muskan ke sath)​

Suraj : kon hai kahi vo school wali Anu to nahi jo ki tumhare pishe padi hui thi but tumne kabi use bhav nahi diya....​

Main : nahi yrrr...​

Itne Main hamara order aa gaya or hum khana khane lage...khana khate hue humne koi jada baate nahi ki. Ab toda Andhera hone laga tha. khana kha kar main Suraj se bola.​

Main : Suraj ab main chalta hu fir milte hai...Ab tum kahi ja to nahi rahe ho na...​

Suraj : Nahi Ab main kahi nahi jaa reha.....jahi transfer karva liya hai...​

Main : badiya hai.... Chal fir milte hai.....mujhe apna new number de..​

Fir Suraj ne mujhe pana new number diya..or maine use miss call kar di...​

Mane bye bola or vaha se nikal gaya...​

Ghar phochne tak fir se mere dimag main vahi sab sawal chalne lage. Ab ikk sawal or badh gya ke jab Suraj ne mujse pusha ke tumne shadi ki ke nahi to mane use haan kyu bola? Mana karna chahiye tha. Phele tension kam thi jo ikk or tension gal pa lyi. Par ab jo hona tha vo to ho gya tha.​

Jahi sab sochte hue main ghar phoch gaya. Jab main ghar phocha tab tak Dad bhai ghar aa gye the or sofe par bath kar T.v main news dekh rahe the.​

Maa kichan main khana bana rahi thi. Mane kichan main ja kar saman maa ko diya. Maa ne mujse pusha ke itni der kha lag gyi to mane maa ko Suraj se milne wali sab baat bata di. Maa suraj ko janti thi to maa mujse uske or uske ghar walo ke bare main pushne lagi. Fir mane maa ko uske maa ke bare mein bhi sab bata diya to maa ko bhut dukh hua yeh sun kar. Suraj ki maa ka sambhav acha tha. Mere maa or suraj ke maa beshak kabi kabi milti thi but kabi kabi dono phone par baat kar leti thi. Par jab se Suraj or mera milna kaam hua hai unke bhi baat bhut kaam ho gyi thi. Dono ikk dusre ko achi tarh janti thi. Suraj ke maa ki death ki khabar sun kar maa mujse boli ke kush din mein vo suraj ke ghar unse pushne ke liye jayege. Maine haa bola diya.​

Maa khana bana rahi thi to maine maa ko apne liye khane ka mana kar diya kyuki main abhi suraj ke sath khana khaya tha.​

Fir main papa ke paas ja kar todi der batha or kush normal bate ki or T.V dekhne laga. Kush der ke badh main uth kar apne Room main aa gya. ​

maa kush der badh kichan se bhar aa gyi or sofe par bath kar t.v dekhne lagi. Tabi papa maa se bole...

Papa : Ragni komal se kush baat Hui...kha phoch gye hai vo....

Maa : abi mere to kush baat nahi Hui, shayad ravi ne phone kar ke pusha ho komal ko call karke.

Papa : Hmmm.....Ajj komal beti ghar nahi hai to kitna suna suna sa ghar lag reha hai......kal tak kitni shoti the or ajj dekho kitni badi ho gyi hai. Jab shoti se thi tab se hi bhaiya or bhabhi se jada hamare sath hi rehti thi...ajj ikk din ke liye hi gyi hai to Ghar suna suna sa lag reha hai...

Maa : Hmmm...sach mein mera bhi apke jesa hi haal hai....shukhar hai komal ki shadi ravi se karva di, ab hamare beti kahi nahi jayegi....sach batau to mera bhi komal Bina Ghar mein bilkul bhi jee nahi lag reha...

Papa : Hmmm.... Sahi kha...ab hamre beti hamare pass hi rahegi....(Nam ankho se)

Maa : chalo udaas mat ho....khana kha lo......ajj jayegi ikk din mein apki ladli beti....

Papa : hmmmm....

Yeh bol kar papa khane ke table pe chale gye or maa ne papa ko khana pros diya...

​

Ider Room main aa kar mujhe ajj kush Adhura Adhura sa lag reha tha or yeh thi room main komal ki kami. Main bed par let gya or fir se pata nahi kitne hi sawal dimag main chalne lage. Mujhe kush samaj nahi aa reha tha. Chahe pishle kush dino se komal baat nahi karti thi or room main shanti hi rahti thi but ajj yeh Shanti achi nahi lag rahti. Mera dimag baar baar komal ki side hi jaa reha tha.​

Main kush der ase hi bed par leta reha. Mane phone utha kar time dekha to abhi 08:00pm hua tha. Kush der ase hi leta or fir ikk dum se Dimag main aya kyu na ikk baar komal ko call kar ke push lu ke phoch gye ke nahi. Fir turant hi khiyal aya Nahi yrr rahne de komal mujse gussa hai vo baat nahi karege. ikk to maan kar reha tha call kar lu or ikk maan kar reha tha nahi. kabhi main sochta ke call kar leta hu mane to bus usse jahi pushne ke liye hi to call karna hai ke phoch gye ke nahi but yeh pushne ka to ikk bhana tha asal mein main ikk baar komal se baat karna chata tha. But ab kush samaj nahi aa reha tha ke kese call karu. Komal aage se pata nahi baat karegi bhi ja nahi.​

Tabhi mujhe bhar se maa ki awaj aayi.​

Maa : Ravi beta ....Darwaja khol​

Main jaldi se gaya or darwaja khola.....maa dudh ka glaas liye khadi thi. main dudh ka glass le kar under jane laga to maa ne bola.​

Maa : Ravi komal ko phone laga kar pusha ke nahi. Sahi se phoch gye ja nahi.​

Main : nahi maa abi karne hi wala tha...(Jhuth bolte hue)​

Maa : chal phone laga kar de mujhe main pushti hu kha phoche..​

Main toda khush bhi ho gaya ke chahe komal se direct baat to nahi hogi but kam se kam uski awaj sun luga. Mane turant komal ko phone lagaya or phone handsfree kar ke maa ko de Diya....​

Dusri side jab komal ne mere phone se call dekha to ikk baar to toda ghabhra gyi or call nahi uthaya....​

Maa ne fir se call karne ka bola or mane firse call laga diya.​

Dusri side jab komal ne fir se mere number se call dekha to fir se thoda tension main aa gyi or sochne lagi ab isko kya hai. Ab ise kya chahiye. kyu call kar reha hai baar baar. Komal mera phone dekh kar hi chidne lagi thi. Jab komal ka call baja to taiji bhi pass main bathi hui thi to bole....​

Taiji : yeh kiska phone aa reha hai baar baar komal.... Phone uthao...​

Komal : Haan....​

Or is baar komal ko na chate hue bhi phone uthana hi pada. Komal ne toda sa narvous feel karte hue phone utha liya....or bola...​

Komal: Hlo.....( Narvous hote hue)​

Maa : Hlo.....komal beti....​

Ikk dum se Maa ki awaj sun kar komal toda acha feel karte hue....​

Komal : Haaji maa....​

Maa : Komal beti....phoch gye ke nahi...​

Komal: Haan maa bus phochne Hi wale hai. Abi 10-15 km ka rasta hai.​

Maa : abi Ravi ke Room main dudh Dene ayi thi to Ravi ko call karne ke liye bola...​

Komal : Haan......​

Main apni maa ke pass bed par betha dono ki bate sun reha tha. Tabi niche se Papa ne maa ko Awaj di to maa komal se boli...​

Maa : komal......yeh ravi se baat kar tere papa mujhe niche bula rahe hai.....​

Maa ne mujhe phone pakda diya or maa jaldi se room se nikal kar niche chali gyi. Mane phone kan par lagaya. Ab hum Dono hi chup the koi kush nahi bol reha tha. Dono ki Dhadkane bhad gyi thi. Phele baat karne main or ab baat karne main bhut farak tha. Phele hum kush bhi bina soche samjhe bol dete the but ab na chate hue bhi hum dono pati-patni the. jab dono mein se koi nahi bola to maine hi is chupi ko todna sahi samja or bolao.....​

Main : Hlo.....( Thoda narvous feel karte hue)​

Mere awaj sunte hi komal ke dimag mein pata nahi kya aya usne ikk dum se call cut kar diya.​

Ikk baar to mujhe bhut bura laga but ab kya hi karta......​

Fir mane phone rakha or fir se wahi sab sawal dimag main chalne lage. Aesa kyu ho reha hai? Kyu ab Aesa ajeeb sa feel hone laga hai? Kyu ab mein komal ki Awaj sunne me liye tadap reha hu. Mane kyu Suraj ke shadi ke bare main pushne par Haan bol diya ? Komal maa se kitna ache se baat kar rahi thi or mujse baat kyu nahi kar rahi ? Mane Aesa kya kar diya hai jo komal mujse itni nafrat karne lagi hai ? Ab mere Ankhe nam hone lagi but ab main kush kar bhi nahi sakta tha. Bhut der tak Jahi sab sochte hue mujhe pata nahi kab need aa gyi.​

Komal ke mama ke ghar::::​

Dusri side komal ko kush farak nahi pada or todi der badh mama ke ghar phoch gye. Ghar phoch kar sabhi se mile. Jyoti bhi unke aane se phele to bhut khush thi but jab use pata chala ke main nahi aya hu to uska chehra utar gya or chid kar apne room mein chali gyi. kafi raat ho gyi thi to sab khana kha kar sone chale gye. Komal ikk room mein ja kar bed par late gyi.​

Komal ko ab acha lag reha tha kyu ki main nahi tha vaha. Or bed par late kar sochne lagi acha hua ajj main/Ravi uske sath nahi hu. Ajj kitne dino badh mujhe sukoon ki need ayegi. Ajj kitne dino badh main bina kisi tension ke souge. Yahi sab sochte hue Use pata hi nahi chala kab use ikk halki se muskan ke sath need aa gyi..​

Continue...................more

(Note- bhai story achi Lage to like or comment jarur karna .....or ajj ka update bada hai or ase hi update kabi bade hoge to kabi shote bhi ....to please koi negative comments karne se phele writer ki majburi ko bhi samja karo umeed hai apko story achi lag rahi hogi ....... thanks)

 

[akkamonster]

Fast update do bro
Story nice

 

[chut ka deewana 1]

Nice next

 

[Sweetboy232]

Fast update do bro
Story nice

Thanks bhai....but update isse jada fast nahi aa sakta....bhai update ikk Din shod kar de reha hu aur kitna fast karu.....bhai mujhe apni study par bhi dhayan dena hota hai.....ikk update ko sochne mein or likhne mein bhut time lagta hai.....main apna pura time story ko nahi de sakta....jadi aap sab story complete padna chate hai to toda sa aap bhi sath de to acha hoga.....aap log bhi samaj dar ho.... mujhe umeed hai aap samjege.....once again

 

[Sweetboy232]

Nice next

Thanks bro.....abi next ka kush pata nahi kab aye....abi mind disturb ho gya hai....jahi boluga bhai wait kare..... Thanks

 

[Sweetboy232]

Shandaar update bhai

Thanks bro....

 

[Moonfighter]

Fab

Update -09​

Pishle update mein ​

Fir mane bhut sochne ke badh Didi se baat karne ka fesla kiya or bed se uth gaya.​

Bed se uth kar main Dhere Dhere Didi ke pass gaya or Didi ko bola.......(Jhijkte hue bola..)​

Ab Aage ​

Main bolne hi wala tha ke Didi ne pishe mud kar dekha to main toda sa ghabra gaya or pass main pada kush dekha or hadbada kar mere muh se nikal gya......​

Main : vo vo Comb/ Kangi chaiye tha...​

Komal kush nahi boli or mujhe Comb/kangi pakda diya. Main fir ase komal ke pishe khad kar mirror main dekh kar hair sahi karne laga. Komal mere Aage ki side bath kar narvous feel kar raho thi.....​

main mirror mein komal Didi ko dekh reha tha par komal Didi apni Ankhe niche kar ke mere vaha se Jane ka intezar kar rahi thi.....fir mene kangi/comb vahi pass mein rakha or vapis se bed par aa kar bath gaya.

Narvous to mein bhi bhut tha...Ab Didi ke pass Jane ki himmat nahi rahi. Jo todi bhut himmat thi vo abhi nikal gyi.

Main bed par bath kar fir se mobile chalane laga but mobile main kha dil lagne wala tha. Main bich bich main komal Didi ko dekh leta but kush kar nahi pa reha tha kyuki mujhe komal Didi ke gusse ka pata tha. Or bolta bhi Kya.

Fir kush time main komal tiyar ho gyi. Komal bhut hi sunder lag rahi thi. Komal ka itna khubsurat sa chera dekh kar mere ankhe hat hi nahi rahi thi. Gora sa face, gallon par halki se lali ayi Hui thi, gaalon pe halke ghare dimple. Komal ko ase dekh kar ab main toda bhakne laga tha. Main ikk baar fir se bhul gya ke hum dono bhai bahen hai. Pata nahi sharam thi ja kya komal mujse najar nahi mila rahi. Vo bus najar niche kar ke apne kaam mein lagi hui thi.

Komal uth kar bed ke pass ayi or beg mein apne phone ka charger rakhne lagi. Komal bilkul bhi mere tarf nahi dekh rahi thi. ​

Niche se taiji ki awaj ayi jo shayad komal ko awaj laga rahi thi. ​

Awaj sunte hi komal bhar seediyon pe gyi or taiji ko kush bola or fir se room main aa gyi or sidha washroom main chali gyi. Main pata nahi kyu komal ki har harkat ko note kar reha tha. ​

Ase hi ab komal or tauji- taiji ke jane ka time aa gya. Ab fir se mujhe pata nahi kya hone laga. Komal ne bed se apna bag uthaya or bhar Jane lagi. Pata nahi kyu ajj Maan to kar reha tha ke komal ka hath pakdu or ikk baar gale laga lu but ab itni himmat bhi to hone chahiye jo mujme abi nahi thi.​

Komal to in sabse bilkul anjan thi. Komal ko bilkul bhi farak nahi pad reha tha. Komal to shayad mujse dur hi rahena chati thi. ​

Main or kush to kar nahi sakta tha to jese hi komal beg lekar niche Jane lagi to Main jaldi se bed se utha or komal ko bola..​

Main : mujhe beg pakda do main niche le aata hu......​

Komal kush nahi boli or mujhe beg pakda kar room se bhar Jane lagi or main bhi beg le kar piche piche Jane laga.​

Niche ja kar dekha tha tauji- taiji already tiyar ho chuke the. Shayad komal Didi ka hi wait kar rahe the. ​

Kafi time ho gaya tha to tauji jaldi se uthe or maa or mujhe bole......​

Tauji : thik hai ab hume nikalana chahiye kafi time ho gaya hai...​

5-6 hours ka rasta tha. Or uper se thand ka mussam tha. Isliye tauji jitna jaldi ho sakta tha nikalna chate the. ​

Yeh bol kar tauji beg lekar bhar gadi ke pass Jane Lage to main bhi komal ka beg le kar unke piche piche Jane laga. Tauji or maine gadi main beg rakh diye tab tak maa, komal or taiji bhi bhar aa gyi.​

Ab mere halat to bhut buri ho gyi thi. Mujhe kush samaj nahi aa reha tha ke Pata nahi Aesa kyu ho reha hai. Komal phele bhi kafi baar apne mama ke jaha gyi thi but tab mujhe kabi kush fark nahi padta tha. But ajj aesa kyu ho reha hai uska jawab bhi mere pass nahi tha. Bus Dil jahi chata tha ke komal na jaye. But ab shayad yeh hona mumkin nahi tha. ​

Tauji gadi main bath gye. komal maa ke gale lagi fir phele taiji or fir komal gadi main bath gyi.​

Komal ne mere tarf ikk baar bhi nahi dekha. mujhe thoda bura to laga but kar bhi kya sakta tha. Komal or taiji ke bathne ke badh tauji ne gadi start ki or ghar se nikal gye.​

Main or maa ghar main aa gye. Maa apne room main chali gyi or main apne room main chala gya. Main apne Room main ja kar bed pe late gya or kush sochne laga.​

Mere dimag mein apne aap se bhut sare sawal chal rahe the. Jinka jawab shayad abi mere pass nahi tha.​

Main maan mein soch reha tha ke : kya ho gaya hai mujhe? Mere Dil main ase ajeeb se feeling kyu AA Rahi hai? Komal ke dur jane se ajj mujhe problem kyu ho Rahi hai ? Jabki komal phele kai baar Akele apne mama ke jaha gyi hai. Tab to mujhe kabi Aesa feel nahi hua. Aesa kyu ho reha hai? Jaha tak ki komal to ab mujse baat tak nahi karti. In sabi swalon se Mera dimag fatne laga tha.​

Yahi sab sochte sochte pata nahi kab mere Ankh lag gyi.​

Mere ankh sham ko karib 06:00pm par maa ke awaj dene par khuli. Mane uth kar dekha to maa Room ke darwaje par kadi thi. Or mujhe awaj laga rahi thi. Maa ne mujhe jaldi se niche aane ka bola or khud niche chali gyi.​

Main uth kar phele bathroom gya or muh dho kar bhar aya. Mane bed pe pada apna phone uthaya or niche chala gaya. maa kichan mein thi. Main sidha kichan main chala gaya. Jaha maa kush kaam kar rahi thi. Mane maa se pusha...​

Main : Maa aapne mujhe kyu bulaya...​

Maa : Haan beta....aa gye..​

Main : kya kaam hai maa....​

Maa : yeh saman le kar ana hai markit se.....​

Maa ne mujhe ikk list di.....​

Main : thik hai.....​

Fir mane Friz se ikk botal nikali or pani pe kar kichan se bhar aa gaya. Mane jaldi se apne room se bike ki key le aya or fir markit ke liye nikal gaya.​

Pure Raste fir se vahi sab sawal mere dimag main chalne lage. Mujhe kush samaj nahi aa reha tha ke Akhir ho kya reha hai.​

Jahi sab sochte sochte main markit phoch gaya. Ikk shop par ja kar samaan ki list shopkeeper ko di or vo samman niklvane laga.​

Vahi pass main ikk new married couple bhi saman le reha tha or ladki ka face mere side tha or ladke ki peth mere side thi. Pishe se dekhne se vo ladka mujhe kush jana phechana lag reha tha.​

But face dusri side hone se kush pata nahi chal reha tha.​

Main bhut gor se use dekh reha tha. Achank se us ladki ki najar muj pe padi or mujhe unki side itne gor se dekhte hue paya to vo ladki mujhe bhut gusse se dekh kar face niche kar liya or main bhi toda hadbda kar ider uder dekhne laga. Mujhe pata chal gaya ke us ladki ne kush galat samaj liya hai. Fir main kush der unki side nahi dekha.​

But Mera dhayan fir se us ladke ki side gaya ke us ladke ko pishe se dekh kar aesa kyu laga jese main ise janta hu. Mane ikk baar fir se mud kar us ladke ko dekha abi bhi uska face dusri side tha or ladki bhi niche face kiye hue thi.​

Main fir se gor se thoda side se ho kar dekhne laga or Achank fir se ladki ne face uper kiya or mujhe fir se use dekhte hue dekh liya. Mere najar usse mili to main fir se hadbada gaya or dusri side muh kar liya. Is baar ladki ko shayad bhut gussa aya or usne apne pati ko sab bata diya.​

Uska pati mud kar mere side aya or mujhe kande pe hath laga kar bola....​

Ladka : Hello bhai sabh.....​

Main toda dar gaya tha kyuki Anjane main hi sahi par mere galti to thi. Chahe main us ladke ko dekh reha tha but mujhe pata tha koi bhi mere baat nahi manega. Sab ko lagega main hi galt najar se dekh reha hu. Sab ladki ko hi support karege. But todi himmat karke main pishe muda to dekha.....​

Ladka : Are Ravi Tum....​

Main : Suraj tum.....​

Yeh ladka Suraj mere School ka friend tha jo 10th ke badh kisi Dusre shar main apne mama ke vaha chala gya tha. Or uske badh ajj mila tha. School se jane ke badh phele kush month phone par hamare baat hoti thi but dhere dhere phone karna bhi band ho gya. Suraj ikk pass ke gav main rehta tha or school main hum bhut ache dost the. Ikk dusre ke ghar se dur hone ke karan hum ajj tak 1-2 baar hi ikk dusre ke ghar gye the. Mere maa papa or uske maa papa kabi kabi school ke parents meeting mein hi apas mein milte the. But Suraj ke maa papa ka sahbav acha tha to mere maa papa or suraj ke maa papa ikk dusre ko ache se janne Lage the.​

Suraj : Are yrr Ravi kesa hai tu....( Halki se smile se )​

Main : main thik hu tum batao......(Mere saanse abi bhi todi yej chal Rahi thi)​

Suraj : main bhi thik hu.....or bata ghar main Uncle Aunty kese hai....​

Main : sab thik hai... Tu bata kha tha itne saal....kabi mud ke aya hi nahi ider or Uncle-Aunty sab kese hai...​

Uncle-Aunty ka naam sunte hi Suraj ka chehra utar gya or dukhi maan se bola....​

Suraj : Vo maa to pishle saal hi gujar gayi hai.....( Dukhi maan se)​

Main : ohhh Sorry....(Dukhi ho kar bola )​

Main : kya hua tha.....(Udaas maan se)​

Suraj : Herat Attack hua tha....(Nam Ankho se)​

Main : Hmm....​

Suraj : chal shod yeh sab bate Jo hona tha vo ho gaya....Ab kya hi milega Dukhi ho kar.( Ankhe pochte hue)​

Or bata kha tha tu itne saal kabi apne dost ki yaad nahi ayi..​

Main : yeh yaad wali baat to tu mat kar....tu hi shod kar gya tha ....​

Pass main khadi uski wife hum dono ko dekh rahi thi....​

Main : main kab se tumhe pishe se phechane ki koshish kar reha tha but tumhara face dusri side tha....​

Suraj : ohh Tum mujhe dekh rahe the....or hum galat samaj liye.....(Halki se smile se bola)​

Main : kya samaj liye.....(Mujhe pata tha but anjan bante hue)​

Suraj : kush nahi.....vo bus mere wife ko laga tum use dekh rahe ho....( Mushkrate hue apni wife ko dekh kar)​

Main : main nahi vo......( Thoda sa jhijkte hue)​

Main itna hi bola tha ke Suraj bola...​

Suraj : Haan Haan bhai rahne do mujhe sab pata hai tum ase nahi ho......main bachpan se janata hu tumhe....(Haste hue)​

Main : hmmm...​

Suraj : Are main to bhul hi Gaya...yeh mere biwi hai Sunita....​

Main : Namaste.....( Hath jod kar)​

Usne bhi hath jod kar namaste bola....​

Suraj : or bata kya kar reha hai aaj kal....​

Main : main vo ikk govt. bank main job karta hu ....or tum kya kar rahe ho....​

Suraj : Badiya hai ......Main govt. School main teacher hu......​

Main : fir to bhut badiya hai...​

Itne Main shopkeeper ne mujhe awaj lagai. shopkeeper ne saman ka bill bana kar mujhe de diya or main bill pay Kiya.​

Suraj ka bhi saman ho gaya tha or saman le kar mere pass aya or bola...​

Suraj : chal aja kahi sath main bathte hai....​

Main : nahi main chalta hu abi.​

Suraj : Aree Aaja bhai...bhut deno badh mile hai todi der bathte hai....​

Suraj ke bhut jid karne par mujhe suraj ko haan bolna pada or fir hum ikk restaurant chale gye...ikk table par bath kar Suraj ne kush order Kiya or hum baat karne lage....​

Suraj ki wife sunita Suraj se bich bich main kush normal hi baat karti or jada tar hamari baate sun rahi thi...sunita ikk samjdaar, padi likhi or sanskari ladki thi.​

Main Suraj se baat karte hue bola.....​

Main : Suraj tumne shadi kab ki or mujhe bataya tak nahi ....​

Suraj : Nahi yrrr maa ke chale jane ke badh bhut Jaldi main shadi karni padi... Shadi mein sirf Badi didi or mama ke ghar ke log hi the...​

Main: Haan....​

Suraj : Mere shod tum bata tumne shadi ki ke nahi abi tak......ja abi tak ladkiyaon ko ignore mar rahe ho....​

Main ab kya hi bolta ke mane shadi ki ja nahi or ki bhi hai to kisse ki hai. Ab mujhe fir se komal ki yaad aa gyi or main chup ho gaya. Mujhe chup hua dekh Suraj bola..​

Suraj: kya hua Ravi....​

Mujhe pata nahi kya hua or maine ikk dum se bola...​

Main : Haan.......​

Mere muh se Haan sunte hi Suraj ne sawalon ki boshar kar di....​

Suraj : Kab ki shadi tumne ?....kisse ki ?....kon hai ?....kha se hai?​

Mane Haan bol to Diya Par ab mujhe samaj nahi aa reha tha ke Suraj ke sawalon ka kya jawab du ke kab ki shadi or kisse ki. Ab mujhe kush to sawalon ka jawab dena hi tha to mane bola.​

Main : kush months phele ki ikk ladki se....​

Suraj : haan bhai pata hai ladki se hi karoge or ladke se thodi karoge....(Haste hue..)​

Main : Haan....(Halki se muskan ke sath)​

Suraj : kon hai kahi vo school wali Anu to nahi jo ki tumhare pishe padi hui thi but tumne kabi use bhav nahi diya....​

Main : nahi yrrr...​

Itne Main hamara order aa gaya or hum khana khane lage...khana khate hue humne koi jada baate nahi ki. Ab toda Andhera hone laga tha. khana kha kar main Suraj se bola.​

Main : Suraj ab main chalta hu fir milte hai...Ab tum kahi ja to nahi rahe ho na...​

Suraj : Nahi Ab main kahi nahi jaa reha.....jahi transfer karva liya hai...​

Main : badiya hai.... Chal fir milte hai.....mujhe apna new number de..​

Fir Suraj ne mujhe pana new number diya..or maine use miss call kar di...​

Mane bye bola or vaha se nikal gaya...​

Ghar phochne tak fir se mere dimag main vahi sab sawal chalne lage. Ab ikk sawal or badh gya ke jab Suraj ne mujse pusha ke tumne shadi ki ke nahi to mane use haan kyu bola? Mana karna chahiye tha. Phele tension kam thi jo ikk or tension gal pa lyi. Par ab jo hona tha vo to ho gya tha.​

Jahi sab sochte hue main ghar phoch gaya. Jab main ghar phocha tab tak Dad bhai ghar aa gye the or sofe par bath kar T.v main news dekh rahe the.​

Maa kichan main khana bana rahi thi. Mane kichan main ja kar saman maa ko diya. Maa ne mujse pusha ke itni der kha lag gyi to mane maa ko Suraj se milne wali sab baat bata di. Maa suraj ko janti thi to maa mujse uske or uske ghar walo ke bare main pushne lagi. Fir mane maa ko uske maa ke bare mein bhi sab bata diya to maa ko bhut dukh hua yeh sun kar. Suraj ki maa ka sambhav acha tha. Mere maa or suraj ke maa beshak kabi kabi milti thi but kabi kabi dono phone par baat kar leti thi. Par jab se Suraj or mera milna kaam hua hai unke bhi baat bhut kaam ho gyi thi. Dono ikk dusre ko achi tarh janti thi. Suraj ke maa ki death ki khabar sun kar maa mujse boli ke kush din mein vo suraj ke ghar unse pushne ke liye jayege. Maine haa bola diya.​

Maa khana bana rahi thi to maine maa ko apne liye khane ka mana kar diya kyuki main abhi suraj ke sath khana khaya tha.​

Fir main papa ke paas ja kar todi der batha or kush normal bate ki or T.V dekhne laga. Kush der ke badh main uth kar apne Room main aa gya. ​

maa kush der badh kichan se bhar aa gyi or sofe par bath kar t.v dekhne lagi. Tabi papa maa se bole...

Papa : Ragni komal se kush baat Hui...kha phoch gye hai vo....

Maa : abi mere to kush baat nahi Hui, shayad ravi ne phone kar ke pusha ho komal ko call karke.

Papa : Hmmm.....Ajj komal beti ghar nahi hai to kitna suna suna sa ghar lag reha hai......kal tak kitni shoti the or ajj dekho kitni badi ho gyi hai. Jab shoti se thi tab se hi bhaiya or bhabhi se jada hamare sath hi rehti thi...ajj ikk din ke liye hi gyi hai to Ghar suna suna sa lag reha hai...

Maa : Hmmm...sach mein mera bhi apke jesa hi haal hai....shukhar hai komal ki shadi ravi se karva di, ab hamare beti kahi nahi jayegi....sach batau to mera bhi komal Bina Ghar mein bilkul bhi jee nahi lag reha...

Papa : Hmmm.... Sahi kha...ab hamre beti hamare pass hi rahegi....(Nam ankho se)

Maa : chalo udaas mat ho....khana kha lo......ajj jayegi ikk din mein apki ladli beti....

Papa : hmmmm....

Yeh bol kar papa khane ke table pe chale gye or maa ne papa ko khana pros diya...

​

Ider Room main aa kar mujhe ajj kush Adhura Adhura sa lag reha tha or yeh thi room main komal ki kami. Main bed par let gya or fir se pata nahi kitne hi sawal dimag main chalne lage. Mujhe kush samaj nahi aa reha tha. Chahe pishle kush dino se komal baat nahi karti thi or room main shanti hi rahti thi but ajj yeh Shanti achi nahi lag rahti. Mera dimag baar baar komal ki side hi jaa reha tha.​

Main kush der ase hi bed par leta reha. Mane phone utha kar time dekha to abhi 08:00pm hua tha. Kush der ase hi leta or fir ikk dum se Dimag main aya kyu na ikk baar komal ko call kar ke push lu ke phoch gye ke nahi. Fir turant hi khiyal aya Nahi yrr rahne de komal mujse gussa hai vo baat nahi karege. ikk to maan kar reha tha call kar lu or ikk maan kar reha tha nahi. kabhi main sochta ke call kar leta hu mane to bus usse jahi pushne ke liye hi to call karna hai ke phoch gye ke nahi but yeh pushne ka to ikk bhana tha asal mein main ikk baar komal se baat karna chata tha. But ab kush samaj nahi aa reha tha ke kese call karu. Komal aage se pata nahi baat karegi bhi ja nahi.​

Tabhi mujhe bhar se maa ki awaj aayi.​

Maa : Ravi beta ....Darwaja khol​

Main jaldi se gaya or darwaja khola.....maa dudh ka glaas liye khadi thi. main dudh ka glass le kar under jane laga to maa ne bola.​

Maa : Ravi komal ko phone laga kar pusha ke nahi. Sahi se phoch gye ja nahi.​

Main : nahi maa abi karne hi wala tha...(Jhuth bolte hue)​

Maa : chal phone laga kar de mujhe main pushti hu kha phoche..​

Main toda khush bhi ho gaya ke chahe komal se direct baat to nahi hogi but kam se kam uski awaj sun luga. Mane turant komal ko phone lagaya or phone handsfree kar ke maa ko de Diya....​

Dusri side jab komal ne mere phone se call dekha to ikk baar to toda ghabhra gyi or call nahi uthaya....​

Maa ne fir se call karne ka bola or mane firse call laga diya.​

Dusri side jab komal ne fir se mere number se call dekha to fir se thoda tension main aa gyi or sochne lagi ab isko kya hai. Ab ise kya chahiye. kyu call kar reha hai baar baar. Komal mera phone dekh kar hi chidne lagi thi. Jab komal ka call baja to taiji bhi pass main bathi hui thi to bole....​

Taiji : yeh kiska phone aa reha hai baar baar komal.... Phone uthao...​

Komal : Haan....​

Or is baar komal ko na chate hue bhi phone uthana hi pada. Komal ne toda sa narvous feel karte hue phone utha liya....or bola...​

Komal: Hlo.....( Narvous hote hue)​

Maa : Hlo.....komal beti....​

Ikk dum se Maa ki awaj sun kar komal toda acha feel karte hue....​

Komal : Haaji maa....​

Maa : Komal beti....phoch gye ke nahi...​

Komal: Haan maa bus phochne Hi wale hai. Abi 10-15 km ka rasta hai.​

Maa : abi Ravi ke Room main dudh Dene ayi thi to Ravi ko call karne ke liye bola...​

Komal : Haan......​

Main apni maa ke pass bed par betha dono ki bate sun reha tha. Tabi niche se Papa ne maa ko Awaj di to maa komal se boli...​

Maa : komal......yeh ravi se baat kar tere papa mujhe niche bula rahe hai.....​

Maa ne mujhe phone pakda diya or maa jaldi se room se nikal kar niche chali gyi. Mane phone kan par lagaya. Ab hum Dono hi chup the koi kush nahi bol reha tha. Dono ki Dhadkane bhad gyi thi. Phele baat karne main or ab baat karne main bhut farak tha. Phele hum kush bhi bina soche samjhe bol dete the but ab na chate hue bhi hum dono pati-patni the. jab dono mein se koi nahi bola to maine hi is chupi ko todna sahi samja or bolao.....​

Main : Hlo.....( Thoda narvous feel karte hue)​

Mere awaj sunte hi komal ke dimag mein pata nahi kya aya usne ikk dum se call cut kar diya.​

Ikk baar to mujhe bhut bura laga but ab kya hi karta......​

Fir mane phone rakha or fir se wahi sab sawal dimag main chalne lage. Aesa kyu ho reha hai? Kyu ab Aesa ajeeb sa feel hone laga hai? Kyu ab mein komal ki Awaj sunne me liye tadap reha hu. Mane kyu Suraj ke shadi ke bare main pushne par Haan bol diya ? Komal maa se kitna ache se baat kar rahi thi or mujse baat kyu nahi kar rahi ? Mane Aesa kya kar diya hai jo komal mujse itni nafrat karne lagi hai ? Ab mere Ankhe nam hone lagi but ab main kush kar bhi nahi sakta tha. Bhut der tak Jahi sab sochte hue mujhe pata nahi kab need aa gyi.​

Komal ke mama ke ghar::::​

Dusri side komal ko kush farak nahi pada or todi der badh mama ke ghar phoch gye. Ghar phoch kar sabhi se mile. Jyoti bhi unke aane se phele to bhut khush thi but jab use pata chala ke main nahi aya hu to uska chehra utar gya or chid kar apne room mein chali gyi. kafi raat ho gyi thi to sab khana kha kar sone chale gye. Komal ikk room mein ja kar bed par late gyi.​

Komal ko ab acha lag reha tha kyu ki main nahi tha vaha. Or bed par late kar sochne lagi acha hua ajj main/Ravi uske sath nahi hu. Ajj kitne dino badh mujhe sukoon ki need ayegi. Ajj kitne dino badh main bina kisi tension ke souge. Yahi sab sochte hue Use pata hi nahi chala kab use ikk halki se muskan ke sath need aa gyi..​

Continue...................more

(Note- bhai story achi Lage to like or comment jarur karna .....or ajj ka update bada hai or ase hi update kabi bade hoge to kabi shote bhi ....to please koi negative comments karne se phele writer ki majburi ko bhi samja karo umeed hai apko story achi lag rahi hogi ....... thanks)

Fabulous and fantastic update

 

[Mr moon knight x]

Bhai , jo bhi hoga woh padhna next update main , abhi ye bol Dena ki kya hi hoga , ussa writer demotivate ho jayega toh aage jo hoga next update woh padhna , Fir apna review dena.

I hope aap meri baat ko as a positively loge.

Lol, I only suggest thats all, if the writer trying to create a mystery about the story, then it should be a mystery have to write like this, not revealing,
But the scean he wrote is easily revealing.

 

[Mr moon knight x]

Haan bhai sahi kha.....acha hai aapko story pasand nahi hai fir bhi interest dikha rahe ho.....uske liye thanks bro.... mujhe pata hai story sabhi ko pasand nahi aa sakti.....bus aap story mein kami batate rehna kya kya hai mein koshish karuga us kami ko pura karne ki....once again......... thanks bro...

Use your brain brother, maine kabhi bhi yah nahi bola story pasand a rahi hai ya nahi pasand a rahi hai, tum yah Jo story likh rahe ho iski plot bahut hi purani Hai Kisi dusre writer Ne likhi Thi bahut pahle that's why readers iss stroy ko ek look de rahe.

But you we can see you are a new writer it's okay, but Kuchh minimum errors to correct karo.

Again and again same spelling mistakes ho rahi hai from the update 1, and spelling mistakes bahut aham chij hoti hai when you read something.

 

[Sweetboy232]

सबसे पहले आपको अपनी पहली कहानी लिखने के लिए ढेरों बधाइयाँ। सामान्यतः, मैं इस फ़ोरम पर इस तरह की कहानियाँ पढ़ने से बचता हूँ क्योंकि, उनको बेहद बचकाने तरीक़े से लिखा जाता है। ऊब हो जाती है और कई बार उबकाई भी आ जाती है (आप समझ रहे होंगे कि क्या कह रहा हूँ)। लेकिन, न जाने क्या सोच कर आपकी कहानी पढ़नी शुरू करी - तो लगा कि यह लीक से थोड़ी हट कर है। हाँ - इन्सेस्ट है, लेकिन रोमांटिक अधिक है।

चचेरी बहन के साथ विवाह बेहद कम होते हैं, लेकिन नहीं होते हैं - ऐसा नहीं है। इतिहास में कई प्रसिद्ध व्यक्तियों ने अपनी चचेरी बहन से शादी की है। हाँलाकि आधुनिक समय में ऐसे विवाह, अनुवांशिक जोखिमों के कारण, अमूमन नहीं होते हैं। कहानी में रूढ़िवादी मान्यताओं के कारण रणवीर और कोमल विवाह के मंडप में पहुँच गए हैं। लेकिन विवाह मंडप में रीति रिवाज़ों को निभाना और बाद में विवाह सम्बन्ध को निभाना, दोनों अलग बातें हैं।

“वेडिंग” - विवाह समारोह - एक सामाजिक, सांस्कृतिक या धार्मिक आयोजन होता है, जिसमें दो लोग विवाह के बंधन में बंधते हैं। इससे अलग, “मैरिज”, विवाह का स्थाई बंधन होता है, जो दो व्यक्तियों के बीच सामाजिक, कानूनी, और भावनात्मक रूप से स्थापित होता है। भारतीय परंपरा में यह एक अटूट - दीर्घकालिक बंधन है, जो “वेडिंग” समारोह के बाद शुरू होती है और जीवन भर चलती है।

रवि और कोमल - दोनों अचानक ही इस बंधन में बंधने को मजबूर कर दिए गए। मेरा मनना है कि मजबूरीवश स्थापित संबंधों की सफलता के लिए दोनों को बहुत कठिन तपस्या करनी पड़ती है। लेकिन एक बार वो कर दिया, तो ऐसा अटूट सम्बन्ध स्थापित होता है, कि संसार की पूरी ताकत लगने पर भी न टूटे। अभी तक पढ़ कर लग रहा है कि न तो कोमल और न ही रवि इस भावनात्मक सम्बन्ध के लिए तैयार हैं। दोनों खिंचे खिंचे से हैं। बात तक नहीं हो पा रही है दोनों में। इस स्थिति में बदलाव आना आवश्यक है।
ऐसे में सबसे अच्छी बात यह है कि दविंदर शर्मा (रवि के पिता) और प्रदीप शर्मा (कोमल के पिता) - दोनों भाईयों और उनके परिवारों में बढ़िया बनती है - जो आज कल के समय में असामान्य बात है। रवि के माँ बाप कोमल को अपनी बेटी जैसा - या फिर शायद उससे भी बढ़ कर स्नेह करते हैं। वैसे भी, एकलौते बेटे की वधू को और भी अधिक प्रेम और स्नेह मिलता है, क्योंकि पद में वो घर में सबसे छोटी (और उस कारण, सबसे अधिक दुलारी) होती है।

अच्छा लिख रहे हैं आप। कहानी के लिए आपकी सोच “अभी तक” सही लग रही है। अपने मुताबिक लिखें - कम से कम अपनी कहानी को अपने हिसाब से ही चलें दें। किसी के कहने पर उसमें अनावश्यक बदलाव न करें। पाठक जुड़ेंगे / टूटेंगे - उससे आपकी सेहत पर कोई असर नहीं पड़ेगा (पैसे तो नहीं मिलते हैं न अधिक पाठक आने पर - हा हा हा हा)! बहुत पहले मैं भी विचलित हो जाता था, फिर समझ में आया कि आपकी कहानी, आपके मन की सृष्टि का एक्सप्रेशन है। आप खुल कर यहाँ खुद को एक्सप्रेस करिए। अनेक पाठक भी तो बकवास लिख कर चल देते हैं, कि नहीं?

अच्छा लिख रहे हैं, लेकिन कमियाँ भी हैं। आशा है, आप मेरी बातों और सुझावों को सकारात्मक दृष्टि से लेंगे --

1. स्पेलिंग की बड़ी सारी गलतियाँ हैं - जैसे, अपडेट 9 में, शुरू में ही दो वाक्य देखें और सोचें कि उसको कैसे पढ़ें [mane: माने या मैंने या “माँ” ने? bhut = बहुत या भूत? badh = बाद या बढ़ या भाड़? Dhere = धीरे या ढेरे?]. इन गलतियों को आसानी से हटाया जा सकता है। अंग्रेज़ी (हिंगलिश) में लिखने के मुक़ाबले देवनागरी में लिखना 10x कठिन है। आपकी पहली कहानी है, लेकिन प्रयास करें, कि ऐसी glaring mistakes न हों।
2. फॉन्ट शायद आपने “बोल्ड” कर दिया है। वो न करें।
3. कहानी का इंडेक्स हर पेज पर आ रहा है। वो बहुत ही बड़ा है - या तो उसको छोटा कर दें, या फिर पहले ही पेज पर रहने दें।

आशा है कि इन छोटे छोटे बदलावों से कहानी लिखने पढ़ने में और भी आनंद आएगा।

Bhai ikk baat bolu aap mujhe samajdar lag rahe ho....1st aapko mere word mein mistake dikh rahi hai......par aapko itna to samaj mein aa reha hai ke mein bolna kya chata hu us line mein...to aap itni shoti shoti mistake ko kyu nikal rahe ho....or i think sabi ko samaj aa reha hoga.....koi bhi itna na samaj nahi hai...... Or mane phele hi bola hai mein koi professional writer nahi hu or na hi mujhe writer bana hai.....vo to bus mere soch mein story aa gyi or mujhe laga likhna chahiye to main likh reha hu......or 2nd font bold isliye kiye hai ke aap sab ko story padne padne mein aasani ho koi mushkil na ho....or aap sab chate hai to font ko edit kar duga.... Or 3rd rahi baat index ki vo mane khud hi sabi page ke uper set kiya hai kyuki mein chata hu aap sabi ko kisi bhi update par jane ke liye first page par na jana pade....aap jo page open kiye ho use page se aapko next update ka index mein link mil jaye.....index sabi page pe set karne ka jahi matlab tha ke sabhi readers ko kisi bhi update par jane ke liye mushkil na ho....or jadi aap sab chate ho to mein index hata duga.....I hope aapko mere baat samaj mein aa gyi hogi....Thanks