★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2024 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Samar_Singh]

Review
Story - WHODUNNIT
Writer - Sanju Bhaiya

Plot - ek ladke Sanjay ke murder aur shehar me hone vale kai serial murder ki investigation ke charo taraf ghumti kahani jo kai hairan karne vale raaz chuapaye hue hai

Positive - Kahani ka narration aur language kamal ki hai, and puri kahani me engagement bana rehta hai. Jis mystery ko story create karti hai use end tak banaye rkhti hai. Karan ke pagal psycho killer rooo ka ek strong background bhi diya hai. Story shuru se lekar ant tak readers ke sath ek mind game khelne ki koshish karti hai.
Karan, Sanjay aur police officer ka perspective bhi alag alag dekhne ko milta hai, kahani ek linear way me nahi badhti.

Negative - jyada kuch Kami nahi hai, bas kahani me character bahut jyada najar aate hai jo ek confusion paida karte hai sath hi kahani bahut sare plot ko lekar chalne ki koshish karti hai. Drugs and gangster, karans side, Riya side, Sanjay side, police side and socital exploitation of karan's mother. Isliye story se utna connect nahi ho pate.

It's a really nice story, keep writing you can be a amazing writer.

 

[Samar_Singh]

Review
Story - प्रेमगीत
Writer - deeppreeti


Plot - दीपू और शेरोन के बीच जवानी के पहले सेक्स की कहानी।

अपने विषय को लेकर कहानी अच्छी थी, लेकिन पूरी कहानी में मानवीय भावना नजर नहीं आती, क्योंकि कहानी की भाषा ट्रांसलेशन वाली है वो भी बहुत बुरा ट्रांसलेशन।

कहानी में human touch नजर नहीं आता, बेहतर होता की अलग से कुछ human touch इसमें डाला जाता।

बाकी कहानी पूरी तरह से एक सेक्स सीन पर ही केंद्रित है।

 

[Sanki Rajput]

Review
Story - "Bikhade hai Sach ya Sabut ?"
Writer - Sanki Rajput

Plot - ek car accident ki investigation me police ko kai uljhane vale sawalo se gujarna padta hai.


Well this was your 4th stroy in a way, so nothing to say more.

Puri kahani super confusing hai, itni ki plot ki summery likhne me bhi mujhe bahut sochna pada ki kahani ka plot hai kya? Kahani apne title ko justify karti hai, puri tarah se bikhri hui.

Kahani kis bare me thi, police investigation ya drugs trade yaa koi psycho killer ki kahani, it's hard to conclude.
Ending to koi sense hi nahi banati.

You wrote 4 stories, that's appreciable.

Just for fun
Khair shukriya

 

[Samar_Singh]

Review
Story - Mami ji
Writer - Aladdin_

Again the typical nonsensical comic style of writing the story.

Character ke naam baar baar galat use hote hai story me, sath hi kai scene me konsa character kya kar rha hai vo bhi confusing hai. Jaise vo Mona kon thi jisne tabeez fenki.

It seems like a part of long story.

Shruraat md lagta hai ki kahani ek plot ke sath badh rhi hai lekin ending me phir baki kahaniyo ki tarah cringe comedy hai.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story :- किस्सा एक अनहोनी का
Writer :- Shetan

setan ji aap gajab writer ho badhiya horror likhne me aapko maharat hasil hai aur ye baat is kahani se saaf jahir hoti hai, main waise to khud bhooto wagaira me vishwas nahi karta hu lekin ya aisi kahaniya padhna, sunna mujhe accha lagta hai, dai maa ke neha par se bhoot utarne ki ye kahani apne kafi interesting likhi hai, har element har hone wali ghatna aage kya hoga iski exitement paida karti hai, komal ka character jisse kahani ki shuruwat huyi thi aur jise main main lead samajh raha tha wo to side me hi ho gayi aur center stage to dai maa le gayi abhi tak aisa kuch maine real me dekha nahi hai lekin ab isko padhne ke baad soch raha hu ye aisa kuch real me dekhne mile to kya hi exiting baat hogi kahani padh kar darr to nahi laga lekin romanch jarur feel hua ke aage kya hoga, great story.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story :- Manhoos Gaon
writer :- Tony269
badhiya story thi jaha maine title padh ke socha ke ek aur horror story padhne milegi ye to dusri hi story aa gayi, gaon manhoos kisi aatma ki wajah se nahi balki ek rapist ki wajah se tha jo ki nayi nayi jawan huyi ladkiyo ka diwana tha aur aakhir me wo apni hi poti ka rape karne laga. story badhiya tha lekin mujhe lagta hai ise aur badhiya banaya ja sakta tha, pratap ki soch aisi kyu ho gayi ke wo ladkiyo ka rape karne me utaru ho gaya wo background samajh aa jata to aur badhiya hota

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story :- Deewanapan
Writer :- _ABHAY

abhay bhai bura nahi manna lekin kahani to badhiya thi but connect nahi kar payi, matlab kahani me bahut kuch tha aur sab kuch bahut hi badhiya bhi tha lekin aisa lag raha tha sab bahut jaldi jaldi ho raha hai, hone wale incidents bahut jyada fast forwarding lag rahe the, kisi character ko leke na to gussa mehsus hua na hi emotions. sorry for my words but jo mujhe laga maine bool diya baki writer aap badhiya ho aapse better umeed kiye the hum

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story :- गलती किसकी
Writer :- Riky007

kaha hai chitthi? aur kya likha tha us chitthi me humko janna hai , bahut badhiya story likhi hai riky bhai ekdum apne title ko puri tarah se justify karti huyi aur isko padhne ke baad sahi me man me yahi sawal uthta hai ke gaklti aakhir me thi kiski, rubi/riya ki ya aadi ki ya us hotel ke malik ki jisne us akeli ladki ko jhuth ka jhasa deke apni property samajh kar ek aise nark me dhakel diya jisse use azad hone ke liye apni jindagi kurban karni padi, bas ek hi baat is story ko badhne ke baad dimag me hai, ke baat karne se har samasya ka samadham ho sakta hai wahi chup rehne se purvagrah banane se kewal galat femhiya hi milengi, ab main itna badhiya writer bhi nahi hu ke rating du isiliye bas itna bolunga ke kahani bahut behtarin lagi mujhe.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story :- ।।इंदरबाग।।
Writer :- Sanki Rajput

bawal story hai be sala sara system hila diya specialy wo last wala twist ke sajay hi us haweli ka asal malik hai aur sala cannibal hai, bhai ekdum unique plot chune ho tum likhne ke liye ye aisa dark matter likhna har kisi ko nahi jamta but tumhe sahi se likha hai, kahani ko read karte time har moment me aage kya hoga iska exitement bana hua tha har ho rahi ghatna ko ekdusre se link kar raha tha main aur end me jab twist reveal hua to sab samajh bhi aaya ke wo saale buddhe dipak ko dekh ke hase kyu the sab kuch perfect tha khali mariyam ke charater ko chhod jo mujhe laga khali chodampatti ke liye hi tha, great story dude.

 

[Mr. Magnificent]

Story:- anookhi kitaab
Writer:- cheekku

ye kisi anime se inspired hai kya bhai hogi bhi to apne ko kya malum apun ne nahi dekha hai wo isiliye apne ko kahani ka plot mast interesting laga, sala aisi kitab mujhe bhi chahiye. achi story thi, badle ki kahani jo sex se hokar ja rahi thi, plot sahi tha narration bhi badhiya tha aur comic timing bhi bas badla lene ka tarika thoda kezual laga, mast story thi bhai bas itna bata do ke wo kitab feki kyu?