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SAAND
UPDATE-31
UPDATE-31
Dinesh—nahi maine aaj tak usko phone nahi kiya…usne ek do baar kiya tha lekin maine uthaya nahi…samajh me nahi aaya ki kya baat karu.
Raj—iska matlab ki aap ne apni hone wali biwi ko nahi dekha…aur na hi usne apko dekha.
Dinesh—hmmmmm
Minto fresh khate hi mere dimag ki batti jal uthi….mere dimag me kayi idea kul bulane lage aur main unke vishay me sochne lag gaya.
Raj (mann me)—mama ne mami ko nahi dekha….mami ne mama ko nahi dekha…iska matlab dono ne ek dusre ko nahi dekha….agar main dinesh mama ban kar hone wali mami ko pel du to….?
Ab Aage…….
Ye sundar vichar mann me aate hi maine mama ke mobile se hone wali choti mami arushi ka number jaldi se apne mobile me save kar liya.
Dinesh (Record name Karan)—raj...tum yaha baitho main jab tak khet ka ek chakkar laga kar aata hu phir ghar chalte hain.
Raj (khush hokar)—theek hai mama.
Dinesh (Karan) mama ke jate hi maine bhagwan Kaamdev ka naam lekar choti mami arushi ka number dial kar diya….kafi der tak ring jane ke baad akhir kisi ne call utha hi liya aur mere kano me ek surili si awaz sunayi dene lagi….maine anuman laga liya ki ye hi meri hone wali mami honi chahuye.
“Hello….koun bol raha hai….kisse baat karni hai….?” Samne se surli awaz me kisi ne kaha.
Raj—kya baat hai janeman.......shadi hone se pahle hi apne hone wale pati se aisi berukhi baate...... ?
"OMG....Karan Jiju....aaj pahli bar aap ne call kiya na shayad...isliye pahchan nahi payi " usne jawab diya.
Raj (mann me)—Jijuuuu....kahi galat number to nahi lag gaya....number to yahi hai.
"Hello….aap chup kyo ho gaye" phir se dusri taraf se vahi madhur awaz aayi.
Raj—Ji..mujhe arushi se baat karni thi….kya ye number unka hi hai….?
"Aap ne bilkul sahi jagah par call kiya hai….ye arushi ka hi number hai…..BTW main arushi ki choti bahan Poli bol rahi hu… matlab ki aap ki hone wali Sali……didi abhi khana bana rahi hain….main abhi bulati hu unko." Usne ek baar phir se apni pyari awaz me kaha.
Raj (dhire se)—poli.....ye kaisa naam hai bhala..... ? khair mujhe kya karna hai naam se.....agar pelne layak huyi to lage sath isko bhi pel dunga.....mama gaya lawde se, mami ki kar dunga choude se.
Kuch der baad phir se ek sundar madhur awaz aayi....main samajh gaya ki ye jarur arushi hi hogi ab....lekin mann me ek darr bhi tha ki kahi ye bhi koi dusri Sali na ho.
"Hello...kuch to boliye...aaj kaise yaad aa gayi hamari" samne wali ne kaha.
Raj—bas apni arushi ki ek chummi lene ka mann kar raha tha aaj bahut.
"Main arushi nahi….uski bhabhi bol rahi hu….hone wale nandoyi ji….rukiye bula deti hu arushi ko jo jo lene ka mann kare le lena….hihihihi" usne haste huye kaha.
Raj (mann me)—arey yaar ye kya ho raha hai…..har bar ek nayi choot wali aa jati hai…..mama ki sasural me chooton ka tabela hai kya….?
“Kuch boliye bhi Landoi ji….” Uski bhabhi ne chhedte huye kaha.
Raj (mann me)—wah…nandoi se sidhe Landoi…..badi chalu maal lag rahi hai re baba….lagta hai ek choot ke sath kayi choot free milne wali hain.
Raj—namaste bhabhi ji…..arushi nahi hai to aap hi chummi de dijiye.
“Aap aaiye to sahi yaha ek baar….phir chummi kya poora india gate hi khol ke dikha dungi….hihihihi.” Ek baar phir se bhabhi ne majak karte huye kaha.
Raj—dekhiyega kahi aap ka india gate hamare Qutub Minar ke ghusne se toot phoot na jaye.
"Aaiye to sahi...hum bhi to jara dekhe ki aap ke Qutub minar me kitna dum hai....kitni der tikega hamare india gate ke samne aane ke baad.... " bhabhi ne majak ke lahje me jawab diya.
Raj—lagta hai aap ka india gate ghane junglo ke beech bana hai.
"Chinta mat kariye Landoi raja….hamare india gate ke charo taraf ek dam chikni farsh hai.…..dekhte hi phisal jaoge…. India gate ke piche side do bade bade pahad hain aur upar jayenge to do badi badi doodh ki tanki bhi hain." Arushi ki bhabhi ne phir double meaning me kaha.
Raj—phir to aap ke india gate ki sair karni hi padegi ab to……vaise aap ki nanad ka india gate bhi aap ke jaisa hi hai ya ubad khabad hai…?
"Bechari ke india gate ka to abhi darwaja bhi nahi khula hai….lekin piche ke pahad jarur bade bade hain." Bhabhi ne kaha.
Raj—to kab aa jau..aap dono ke india gate ki sair karne….?
"Main to dono pair phailaye..mera matlab hai ki india gate ka darwaja khole baithi hu..aap jab chahe aa jao….lijiye apni bulbul se baat kariye..usko gussa aa raha hai." Bhabhi ne jawab diya.
Raj—hello arushi….
Arushi—aa gayi apko hamari yaad….? Aur ye aap bhabhi se kya anaap shanap baate kar rahe the…?
Waqayi me arushi mami ki awaz me shahad jaisi mithas thi….dil khush ho gaya iss meethi awaz ko sun kar…maine ek baar apne charo taraf dekh kar jayza liya ki kahi mera gandu mama to nahi aa raha hai…lekin abhi vo bahut door the…to main aashwast ho gaya.
Raj—tumhari yaad to hamesha hi aati hai jaan.
Arushi—rahne dijiye….mujhe pata hai….aaj tak ek baar bhi phone nahi kiya…phone karna to door mera phone tak nahi uthaya……aur ye kis ka number hai….?
Raj (jhuth)—ye mera hi number hai….uss number me phone mat karna…..vo jyadatar ghar me hi rakha rahta hai….tumse baat karne ke liye hi aaj maine naya phone aur number liya hai.
Arushi—pata hai meri sabhi saheliya mujhe chidhati thi ki mera hone wala husband bhondu hai jo baat bhi nahi karta.. mujhe dukh lagta tha….sochti thi ki jane kaisa hoga mera husband…? Aap phone bhi to nahi uthate the….?
Raj—arushi main tumse milna chahta hu…bahut mann hai milne ka yaar.
Arushi—ye mujhse nahi hoga…..vaise bhi kuch din me hamari shadi to hone wali hai phir mil lena.
Raj—achcha arushi..tumhari bhabhi kah rahi thi ki tumhara india gate bahut bada hai…aur uske piche ki pahadi bhi.. kya ye sahi hai….?
Arushi—chheee….aisi gandi baate main nahi karti aur aap bhi mat kiya karo….meri bhabhi ki to adat hi hai gandi baate karne ki…aap mat suna karo.
Raj—mujhse sharmaogi to kaise kaam chalega yaar….? Achcha ye hi bata do ki main tumse milne kal aunga to apna doodh to pilaogi na…?
Arushi—phir vahi gandi baat..
Raj—isme ganda kya hai... ? kya tumhare doodh par mera hak nahi hai.... ?
Arushi—mujhe nahi malum....
Raj—samajh gaya yaar....shayad kisi aur ke liye tumhare doodh hain...theek hai ab nahi puchunga kuch bhi...ok bye
Arushi (jaldi se)—nahi...nahi...aisi baat nahi hai.....shadi ke baad to mera sab kuch apka hi hai.
Raj—matlab shadi se pahle kisi aur ka hai... ?
Arushi—nahi...ab bhi apka hi hai.....apki kasam maine aaj tak kisi ladke ki taraf dekha tak nahi hai.
Raj—mujhe check karna padega....
Arushi—kya check karna padega.... ?
Raj—yahi ki sach me kisi ne tumhare sath kuch kiya hai nahi.... ?
Arushi—maine kisi ke sath kuch nahi kiya hai ab tak.
Raj—to phir main kal aa raha hu tumse milne.
Arushi—kaha…?
Raj—tumhare ghar aur kaha….?
Arushi—nahi..nahi..shadi se pahle ghar aana achchi baat nahi…sab log kya kahenge….?
Raj—main to kal aa raha hu….mujhe dekhna hai ki jo jo cheeze mujhe apni biwi me chahiye vo tumhare paas hain ki nahi…?
Arushi—kya kya chahiye apko….?
Raj—sundar ho, doodh na jyada bade aur na chhote ho, gaand badi badi ho aur uski bur…..
Arushi—chheee…aap kitna ganda bolte hain.
Raj—iska matlab ki tumhare paas doodh hi nahi hain..samajh gaya
Arushi—nahi...nahi...hain.
Raj—tumhare doodh chhote hain ki bade hain.... ?
Arushi—aisi baate mat kariye...mujhe sharam aati hai.
Raj—mujhse kaisi sharam….? Batao na
Arushi (dhire se)—kya batau…?
Raj—apni chuchiyo ke baare me... ?
Arushi—bas jaisi apko chahiye vaisi hain...ab khush
Raj—kal milne aunga to mujhe apni chuchiya dabane dogi na.... ?
Arushi—(koi jawab nahi).
Raj—batao na janu....lagta hai band kar diya.
Aruhi (dhire se)—nahi...sun rahi hu.
Raj—to phir batao na...
Arushi—kya bataoon….?
Raj—yahi ki mujhse apni choochiyan dabwaogi na….?
Arushi—mujhe nahi malum….laaz aati hai.
Raj—pls
Arushi—hmmmm
Raj—kya..hmmmm... ? khul ke batao na... ?
Arushi—bata to diya na.
Raj—aise nahi achche se batao ki dabane dogi ki nahi…?
Arushi (dhire se)—dabane dungi.
Raj—kya dabane dogi.... ?
Arushi—wohi jo aap kah rahe the...
Arushi gaon me rahne wali ek ladki hai…jisko city ki aaj kal ki hawa nahi lagi hai…ghar ka vatavaran bhi bahut strict hai jiske karan se vo gaon ke manchale ladko se bhi achhuti hai….usse jo bhi thoda bahut sex ka knowledge hai vo uski saheliyo aur bhabhi ke karan hai.
Aaj pahli baar koi ladka usse iss tarah se khul kar baate kar raha tha….arushi ke mann me sharam bhi thi aur ek alag hi gudgudi uth rahi thi raj ki aisi kamuk baate sun kar.
Usko aaj pratham baar kuch alag tarah ka anand aa raha tha raj se baate karte huye….usko ab raj ki baate achchi lagne lagi thi ya shayad vo raj ki kamuk baato ke jaal me phansti ja rahi thi.
Raj—kya kah raha tha main….?
Arushi—mujhe laaz aati hai…mujhse nahi bola jayega.
Raj—phir vahi baat..
Arushi—kah to diya na….kal jab aap ayenge tab khul ke bol dungi..theek hai.
Raj—apna khajana bhi dikhaogi na…?
Arushi—khazana….koun sa khazana…? Mere paas to koi khazana nahi hai.
Raj—vahi khazana jisko tumne apni dono jaangho ke beech chaddi ke andar chhupa rakha hai.
Arushi—chheee…gande…
Raj—bolo na yaar……dikhaogi na….?
Arushi—aisi gandi baate mat karo....mujhe kuch kuch hota hai.
Raj—tumhe kuch kuch hota hai..kya hota hai.... ?
Arushi—pata nahi..
Raj—bolo dikhaogi na apni dono jaangho ke beech ka khazana…
Arushi—aisi gandi gandi baate na karo na…
Raj—ek baar bata do..phir nahi karunga...
Arushi—kya bata du... ?
Raj—jo maine pucha hai...
Arushi—mujhe nahi malum...
Raj—main samajh gaya.....tum shayad mujhse naraz ho gayi ho...
Arushi—nahi...main naraz nahi hu...lekin mujhe aisi baate karne me laaz aati hai...maine aaj tak kabhi aisi baate kisi se nahi ki hain.
Raj—to phir bata do...
Arushi—shadi ke baad aap khud hi dekh lena jo jo dekhne ka mann ho apka…
Raj—mujhe kal dekhna hai…
Arushi—shadi ke pahle ye theek nahi hai…aap samjho na…
Raj—lekin mera to bahut mann kar raha hai apni arushi ki bur dekhne ka.
Arushi—ohhh…ek aur ganda shabd….aapne ye sab gandi baate kaha se sikhi…?
Raj—ye koi sikhana thode hi padta hai…umar sab sikha deti hai…ab batao na…
Arushi—mujhe nahi pata..ye sab..
Raj—theek hai....ab phone rakhta hu..bye..
Arushi—suniye…kya gussa ho gaye….?
Raj—main koun hota hu gussa hone wala…? Tumhari cheez hai dikhao ya na dikhao….tumhari marzi.
Arushi—achcha baba..aap jeete aur main hari…..lekin pls iske aage kuch mat karna, shadi se pahle
Raj—saf saf batao…
Arushi—bata to di na….ki aap dekh lena khud hi…ab khush na
Raj—kya dekh lunga….?
Arushi—kya dekhna hai apko…?
Raj—meri arushi ki bur dekhni hai.
Arushi—to bol to di ki dekh lena.
Raj—nahi aise nahi…khul ke saf saf bolo…
Arushi—bol to di ki aap kal jab ayenge to dekh lena.
Raj—kyaa…?
Arushi—apni….arushi…ki…..b....u…r......ab theek hai...ab kuch nahi bolungi...gande kahi ke
Raj—abhi geeli hai ki sookhi hai…
Arushi—bahut geeli hai
Raj—kyo….?
Arushi—ab aisi baate karenge to royegi hi na bechari.
Raj—abhi aa jau.
Arushi—abhi nahi..kal
Raj—bahut mann ho raha hai.
Arushi—kal…main apka intazar karungi….abhi papa bhi ghar par hain..pls
Raj—ok
Arushi—apko raat me call karungi..sab ke sone ke baad..abhi khana banana hai.
Raj—ok..ek chummi de do.
Arushi—vahi se le lo..hihihi
Raj—uuummmmmmm...I love You
Arushi—I Love You too.
Uske baad call cut ho gaya….mama bhi idhar hi aa rahe the…unke aate hi hum dono ghar ke liye nikal gaye…dusri taraf deshraj ne govinda ko khoon ke ilzam me jail me band kar diya tha.
