NONVEG JOKES

[IMUNISH]

लड़की- झूठ बोलने की कोशिश मत करना वरना मैं पकड़ लुंगी।.लड़का- wao .... तब तो मैं रोज झूठ बोलूंगा और तुम रोज पकड़ोगी।लड़की- मादरचोद.... मैंने कहा मैं तेरा झूठ पकड़ लुंगी।। कमीना....

 

[IMUNISH]

Santa Apni Biwi Preeto Ke Sath Sex Kar Raha Thha, Par Usko Thoda Sa Tight Feel Hua.
To Usne Dimag Lagaya Aur Sath Mein Pade Glass Mein Se Doodh Liya Aur Lund Pe Laga Ke Chodna Shuru Kar Diya.
Aisa Karne Se Usko Itna Maja Aaya Ki Vo Roj Roj Yahi Karne Lag Gaya.
9 Mahine Bad Biwi Jab Pregnant Hui To Hospital Mein Admit Karvaya.
Jaisi Hi Doctor Operation Theater Se Bahar Nikla To Santa Ne Us Se Pucha.
Santa: “Dr Saab, Kya Hua Baby Ya Baba?”
Doctor Huste Hue: “No Baby Or No Baba, Only 1Kg Paneer Nikla Hai, Yahi Khana Hai Ya Pack Kar Du“

 

[IMUNISH]

Ek Baar Class Mein Ek Nayi Ladki Aayi
Teacher Ne Us Se Pucha
Teacher: ?Tumhara Naam Kya Hai??
Ladki: Ji, Pinki?
Teacher: Aage Ya Piche Kuch Lagati Ho??
Ladki Sharmate Hue: Ji Aage Veet Cream Aur
Piche Sarson Ka Tel!

 

[IMUNISH]

Santa Ek Din Film Dekh Kar Aaya To Agle Din Apne Dost Banta Se Milne Gaya.
Santa: “Oye Kal Main Film Dekh Kar Aaya, Mast Film Thi Yaar, Lekin?”
Banta: “Kya Lekin?”
Santa: “Film Ka Naam Aakhir Tak Nahi Samajh Aaya Ki ‘Badi Gaand’ Kyu Rakha Hai?”
Banta: “Kiski Thi Ye Film?.”
Santa: “Yaar Salman Khan Ki Thi, Kya Mast Acting Ki Usne Film Mein.”
Banta Gusse Se: “Salman Khan ???????? ……… Abe Maa Ke Laude Wo Badi Gaand Nahi Body Guard Hogi.”
Bonsdi Ke Kahta Tha Na Thoda Aur Padh Le. Chutiya Anpadh Saala.

 

[IMUNISH]

Blind Girl 1St Time Sex Kar Rahi Thi.
Maza Aaya To Boli- Ye Niche Kya Latka Hai.
Boy- Balls
Girl- Ye Nahi Dalte
Boy- Nahi
Girl- Pakka? Dekho Andhi Laachar Ka Haq Mat Marna

 

[IMUNISH]

According To A Survey By Chodumal Khan Saab:
Agar Kisi Larki Ki 19 Sal Ki Umar Mein Shadi Ho,
Aur Uske Ghar Wale Ka Lund 7.5 Inch Ho,
Aur Woh Haftey Mein 3 Bar Sex Kare Aur 1 Bar Mein 50
Gassey (In-Out) Maare,
To Us Larki Ne 35 Sal Ki Umar Tak 22 Kilometer Lun
Liya.
7.5 Inch X 50 Gassey X 3 Din X 4 Hafte X 12 Months X
16 Saal = 864000 Inch (22 Kms)

 

[IMUNISH]

Teacher Ne Class Mein Question Pucha
Teacher: Videsh Ke Bachhe Gore Aur Yahan Ke Kale Kyun Hote Hai
Santa: Madam Ji, Kyun Ki Wahan Ponds Cream Laga Ke Chudayi Hoti Hai Aur Yahan Sarso Ke Tel Se

 

[IMUNISH]

Aankhein Daan Karna Duniya Ka Sabse Bada Daan Hai, Par Kya Kabhi Kisi Ne Socha Hai Ki Daan Ki Hui Aankhe Lagvane Mein Bhi Ek Bahut Badi Problem Hai? Par Kya..?”
Ek Call Girl Ne Socha Ke Usne Apni Life Mein Koi Achha Kaam Nahi Kiya,
To Usne Apni Aankhon Ko Donate Karne Ki Sochi.
Apni Eyes Donate Karne Gayi, Counter Clerk Ne Usse Puchha: “Kuch Kehna Chahti Ho?”
Call Girl Boli: “Haan, Jise Bhi Ye Ankhein Lagaao Use Bata Dena Khulti Lund Dekhne Ke Baad Hi Hai“

 

[IMUNISH]

Ek Gaanv Ke Shareef Ladke Ki Shaadi Shehar Ki Sexy Ladki Ke Saath Ho Jaati Hai.
Suhagraat Ko Jab Pati Sone Laga To Patni Ne Kaha.
Patni: “Aaj Hamari Suhagraat Hai Kuch Karoge Nahi?”
Pati Hairan Hote Hue: “Kya Karna Hai?”
Patni: “Jo Karna Chahiye”
Pati: “Mujhe Nahi Pata”
Patni Ka Sex Karne Ka Bahot Man Ho Raha Tha To Usne Pati Ko Kaha.
Patni: “Agar Tumhe Nahi Pata To Jese Mein Karungi Vese Karte Jana”
Patni Ne Apne Sare Kapde Utaar Diye To Pati Ne Bhi Utaar Diye.
Patni Bed Pe Taange Upar Kar Ke Late Gayi To Pati Bhi Aise Hi Late Gaya
Patni Gusse Se: “Behan Ke Lode Chootiye Aisa Kar Bahar Se Do Admi Le Aa Ek Teri Le Lega Aur Ek Meri“

 

[IMUNISH]

Purane Time Ki Baat Hai, Jab India Pe British Raaz Tha.
Santa Ka Man Ek Din Tandoori Chicken Khane Ka Kara To Ek Restraunt Mein Gaya
Par Wahaan Bahar Bord Pe Likha Tha: “Only For British People”
Santa Fir Bhi Kisi Tarha Se Lad Jhagad Ke Andar Pahuncha Aur Tandoori Chicken Ka Order Diya
Order To Aa Gaya, Par Saath Mein Manager Ek British Police Wale Ko Bhi Le Aaya
Police Wala: “Tum Ye Chiken Nahi Kha Sakte, Jo Tum Is Chicken Ke Saath Karoge Wo Main Tumhare Sath Karunga, Agar Tu Iski Taang Todega To Main Teri Taang Tod Dunga”
Santa Ne Ye Suna Aur Pareshan Ho Gaya, Par Achanak Se Uske Dimag Ki Batti Jali,
Usne Chicken Ki Gaand Ki Jagha Ungli Dali Aur Masala Nikaal Kar Chatne Lag Gaya,
Phir Apni Pant Utar Kar Police Wale Ki Taraf Gaand Kar Ke Bola.
Santa: “Lo Janab Haazir Hai“

 

[IMUNISH]

Ustad Chodumal Khan Sahab Ne Ek Din Subha Uthte Hi Ek Sher Farmaya
Koi To Hai Jo Hume Duao Mein Mang Raha Hai
Warna Roj Subha Subha Samaan Yun Hi Khada Nahi Hota