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Fantasy CHAMATKAR (Completed)

Opinion Of the Story...

  • Good

    Votes: 229 96.6%
  • Bad

    Votes: 8 3.4%

  • Total voters
    237
  • Poll closed .

Nadan Dill

Well-Known Member
3,246
7,267
158
sorry bhaii late coment ka liea aj he sarii update parii ha last 4 update ni par saka is loea coment ni kar saka



ab dakta ha sheree ka bara ma jan kar maharanii ka kasa action ho gaa




new update ka intazar ha bhaiii
 

Naughtyrishabh

Well-Known Member
9,663
28,964
218
Dono update behad hi shandar or jabardast the bhai.
Bahut khoob superb.

Kamal ka scene likha h aapne.

Ekdam jabardast ekdam superb.
Mzaaaa aa gya bhai waah.
Bich ki shayari to ekdam kamal ki thi bhai too good.

Or ab ,
Aage ka intjaar


UPDATE- 122

Main dubara uth kar vaha gaya aur malba hatane ke liye jhuka to phir se vahi hua…maine kayi bar koshish ki, natiza vahi nikla..mere jhukte hi koi utha kar door phenk deta…aisa lag raha tha ki vo aatmaye behad kroadh me aa chuki hain…

Udhar bahar ka mousam aur bhi bhayanak ho chuka tha…tez hawao ke sath sath ghanghor barish bhi hone lag gayi thi…mandir me sabhi pareshan aur chinta me doobe huye the…ki tabhi ek cheekh ne unke kaan khade kar diye..

“Rajnandiniiiii…..bachaaoooooo…….maaaaaaa…..bachaooooooo....aaaaaaaaaaaaaa.....mummyyyyyy”

Urmila (bechain)—ye…ye to mere adii ki awaz hai….lagta hai ki mera beta kisi musibat me haii….

Megha (tension)—haan didi…mujhe bhi yahi lag raha haii..

Iss cheekh ne sabhi ke hosh uda diye....urmila aur megha pareshan ho kar vaha se bhagne lagi...lekin khatra ne rok diya unhe mandir ke bahar nikalne se...

Urmila (rote huye)—mujhe jane doooo....mera adiii musibat me haiii....vo mujhe bula raha haiiii...

Khatra—mujhe maaf karna malkin....mere malik ka yahi adesh hai ki main aap ko yaha se na jane du...aap chinta na kare, malik ko kuch nahi hoga...

Megha (rote huye)—hame jane do khatra....tum ek maa ke hriday ko nahi samajh sakoge...tum mard ho na...

Rajnandini (tension)—maa ji khatra shayad sahi kah raha hai….ye unn dust aatmao ki koi chaal hai..hame yaha se bahar nikalne ki…..mere rishi ko kuch nahi hoga…..aap nirash na ho…bhole nath sab theek kar denge….

Halanki rajnandini khud bhi andar se bahut hi pareshan aur chintit thi lekin phir bhi apne aap ko kisi tarah vyagra hone se roke kar sab ko samjhane me lag gayi…haalat sabhi ki vaisi hi thi..sab mujhe le kar tension me aa chuke the iss cheekh ko sun kar.

Magar tabhi unki ankho ne kuch aisa dekha ki jiske baad sab ke sabra ka baandh toot gaya aur mari kahi sabhi baato ko bhul kar vo chillate huye mandir se bahar ki taraf bhagne lage….

Rajnandini (cheekh kar)—rishiiiiiiiiiii

Urmila—adiiiiii

Megha—nahii……

Shree—adiiiiiiiiii..

Agni—nahiii….ye nahi ho sakta…..

Chitra (rote huye)—nahii…ye main nahi hone dungi…adiiiiii

Mandir se thodi hi doori par adii khoon se lathpath haalat me jamin par pada hua tha aur jor jor se sab ko madad ke liye chillaye ja raha tha…ye dekh kar sab ki ankhe chhalak aayi dard aur chinta se..aur phir khatra ke bar bar samjhane ke baavjud bhi vo nahi ruke aur jor jor se rote chillate huye sabhi mandir se bahar nikal kar uss khoon se lathpath shakhs ki taraf bhagne lage…

Sab vaha tak pahuchte ki tabhi vaha char bhayanak shakal surat wale log achanak se prakat ho gaye aur uss jamin me pade shakhs ko ghasit kar le jane lage kahi…

Urmila (rote bhagte)—nahiii…ruk jaoooo….mere bete ko chhod do…..mat maro use…..

Sabhi unke piche piche barish me bhigte, girte phir uth kar bhagne lagte chillate huye lekin unke paas tak nahi pahuch pa rahe….dekhte hi dekhte vo sabhi uss jagah pahuch gaye jaha par jamin se khod kar nikale gaye nar kankal rakhe gaye the….vaha pahuchte hi vo charo ruk gaye aur jor jor se hansne lage…bahut bhayanak hasi…

Itni bhayanak hasi sun kar sabhi ke dil kaamp uthe…aur phir dekhte hi dekhte vaha ek ke baad ek hazaro bhoot, pret, chudail aur bhi kayi tarah ke jeev samne aane lage gusse se tilmilaye huye….aur tab unke ashcharya ki seema hi na rahi jab vo khoon se lathpath shakhs yakayak uth khada hua aur ek bhayanak shakal me badal gaya haste huye…

Rajnandini (tension)—maa ji…hamse bahut badi galti ho gayiii…..hum rishi ki kahi baat to bhool hi gaye….

Shree (ghabrate huye)—maa..ab kya kareee…..adii to yaha hai hi nahi…

Daniel (darr)—bhago…vapis mandir me….

Sab (chillate huye)—jaldiii chaloooooo...

Sab bhagne ke liye jaise hi mude to samne bhi unn sab ko khade paya....unn gusse me doobi aatmao ne unn sab ko charo taraf se gher liya tha...

Ab unke yaha se bhag kar phir se mandir me jane ka marg band ho chuka tha....vo sabhi dust aatmaye unki taraf badhne lagi...ye dekh kar sab darr aur khauf se adii...adii chillane lage.

Unko paas aate dekh juliya darr kar piche ko bhagi lekin tabhi kisi ne usko pakad kar hawa me utha liya aur apne bade bade nakhun uske komal sharir ke aar paar kar diye...vo jor se cheekhi aur phir shant ho gayi...vo nishachar uska khoon pine me lag gaya.

Ye drishya dekhte hi sab ke rongte khade ho gaye...ab vo bakio ki taraf badhne lage aur jaise hi ek ne urmila ko pakadne ke liye hath aage kiya vaise hi kisi ne usko utha kar patak diya.

Ye chitra thi jo behad gusse me aa chuki thi...usne gusse me aate huye ek ek kar ke unn sabhi nishacharo ko patak patak kar maarna shuru kar diya...khatra bhi uske sath ho liya usne bhi unki dhunayi shuru kar di...

Khatra—choti malkin....aap piche hat jao....inn sabhi ka maqsad hi tumhe qaid karna hai...tum piche hato....

Chitra (gusse me)—nahii....main aaj inn sab ko khatam kar dungiiii....

Lekin dono ye bhool gaye ki vo sankhya me bahut jyada hain aur ekta me badi taqat hoti hai...chitra aur khatra jab ladne me lag gaye to unka dhyan iss baat se hat gaya...sabne ek sath mil kar dono ko gher liya aur ekattha hamla kar diya dono par...

Idhar main uss malbe ko hata hi nahi pa raha tha kyon ki kisi taqatwar shakti ne mera suraksha kawach tod diya tha aur samay bhi bahut ho gaya tha...shaam ka andhera apna sir uthane laga tha...maine phir se apni talwar ko yaad kiya aur uske aate hi maine ab ki baar talwar ko uss malbe wali jagah par gaad diya.

Talwar ka jamin se sparsh hote hi vaha cheekh pukar mach gayi....talwar se nikalne wali tez roshni ne sabko jalana shur kar diya...vaha jitni bhi shaktiya thi sab bahar ki taraf bhagne lagi.

Maine jaldi se vaha ka malba hataya to mujhe chitra ki dead body nazar aa gayi...maine usko utha kar turant hi adrishya ho kar bahar aa gaya...lekin samne ka to nazara hi kuch aur tha...

Adii (jor se)—vahi ruk jaooo....agar kisi ne chitra ko hath bhi lagaya to theek nahi hoga....mere paas chitra ki dead body dekh kar sabhi mere upar toot pade ek sath...

Ye dekh kar rajnandini aur agni ka gussa bhadak gaya aur dono ki ankhe gusse se lal ho gayi....agni ki ankho se aag ki lapte nikalne lagi jisme sabhi jalte huye cheekhne lage...vahi rajnandini ne apne baalo me bandha juda khol diya

Juda khulte hi uske baalo ne taandav macha diya....uske khule baal hawa me lahrate huye sab ko baandhne lag gaye...maine kisi tarah se khud ko unke changul se azad kiya..lekin unki sankhya kam hi nahi ho rahi thi...

Ye dekh kar sanjay bhaiya aur daniel jaldi se unn nar kankalo ki taraf jane lage unme aag jalane ke liye magar isse pahle ki vo kuch kar paate unn kankalo ne dono ko lapet liya aur vo dono bhi unki hi biradari me shamil ho gaye.

Adii (chillate huye)—agniiii....apni shakti se unn sabhi nar kankalo ke dher me aag laga do...tabhi ye marenge aise kam nahi honge ye kabhi...

Meri baat sunte hi agni ne uss dher ki taraf apni nazar ghumayi aur agle hi pal uss dher me aag jal uthi...vaha charo taraf sirf cheekhe hi sunayi dene lagi thi....sab jalte huye idhar udhar bhagne lage.

Sab aa kar mujhse lipat gaye...mujhe apne teeno logo ko khone ka dukh bhi tha..megha bhi roye ja rahi thi..kintu ab pachtane se kya fayda hone wala tha.

Chuttad—iss dead body ka kya karna hai... ?

Adii—antim sanskar…

Chitra ki ankho me ek bar phir se anshu tapakne lage meri baat sun kar…vo aa kar mere seene se lag gayi..main sabhi ko le kar mahal aa gaya…mousam ab phir se khul chuka tha….jabki mere dost shavyatra ki taiyari karne lage main chitra ko poore samman ke sath vida karna chahta tha.

Sab chitra ko samjhane me ek bar phir lag gaye lekin vo sirf roye hi ja rahi thi…aaj mujhe bhi uske jane ka dukh mahsoos ho raha tha..aaj main bhi khud ko apahij sa mahsoos kar raha tha.

Raat gahri hote hote sab kuch shant ho gaya...iss ghatna ko ek mahatma ne apne dhyan me dekh liya aur vo apne shisyo sahit turant hi yaha ke liye rawana ho gaye...jo bhi unhe raste me milta jata vo sab batate jate.

kafi log ekatthe ho chuke the aur jaise jaise logo ko apni rajkumari chitralekha ki khabar milti ja rahi thi vaise vaise logo ki sankhya badhti ja rahi thi….vo mahatma bhi chitra ki iss antim yatra me shamil hone ke liye shisyo sahit aa chuke the…dhire dhire door door se bhi log aate ja rahe the iss chamatkar ko dekhne ke liye.

Kisi insaan ki vastavik lokpriyata ka andaza uski mout ke baad hi hota hai….zindagi me to bahut se swarth admi ko ek dusre ke darwaje par le jate hain…lekin admi marne ke baad tamam swartho aur jarurato se mukt ho jata hai… kuch bhi to nahi rah jata..na daulat rahti hai,, na kursi rahti hai aur na haisiyat rahti hai….bas mitti ka putla, jo raakh banne ko rah jata hai.. tab malum hota hai ki vah kis ke kitne kaam aaya…

Aupchariktao ke baad jab chitra ki arthi uthi tab malum hua ki chitra kya cheez thi…? Bahut se log the uski iss shavyatra me aur har ankh anshuo se bhari thi….apni zindagi me chitra ne jane kitne logo ka dard baanta hoga, kitne logo ka bojh uthaya hoga..? aaj vahi log chitra ko apne kandho par uthaye huye the..

Har kisi ki juban par aaj sirf chitra ka hi naam tha…har koi chitra ki khubiya, uski zindagi se judi ghatnaye, unsi judi yaade aur uske guno ki hi charcha kar rahe the.

Maine chitra ki dead body ko mukhagni di…aag lagte hi chitra ka maya roopi sharir kahi vileen ho gaya panch tatvo me aur vo mujhse door kahi bahut door hoti chali gayi…lekin uske antim shabd ab tak mere kano me goonj rahe the..

"Rukhsat Huye Teri Gali Se,
Hum Aaj Kuch Iss Kadar..
Sab Logo Ke Muh Par Ram Naam Tha,
Aur Mere Dil Me Bas Tera Hi Naam Hai.”


Chitra ki Poori Kahani Aur Iss Jagah Ka Jikra Chamatkar II part me ayega, Kyon Ki Abhi Yaha Se Judi Kuch Cheeze Pending Chhod Raha Hu.

 
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