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★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2022 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

Adirshi

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JEE LOON TUJHE ~ Death Kiñg

an emotional story jaha do tute huye dilo ka milan hua hai.., paise ka lalach ache ache rishto ko tod ke rakh deta hai jo ki yaha bhi hua, apna bachpan hasi khushi gujarne ke baad shivam ko kabhi apne hisse ki khushi hi naseeb nahi huyi..
apna ghar chhut gaya, bhai se wo alag ho gaya fir bhi himmat nahi hari usne aur apni jindagi jite raha tab uski jidagi me supriya aayi, supriya ke jivan ka haal shivam se kuch jyada alag nahi tha bas kahani ka fark tha thi to wo bhi apne pariwar se bichdi huyi..
simple and straight forward plot jise ache se shabdo me piroya gaya hai.. kahani ke end ke bare me jyada kuch nahi kahunga, wo thoda sa predictable tha jo ki aise plot me hota hi tha, in kahani ke bas 2 hi end ho sakte the mere hisab se ek jisme bas kuch sahi ho jata and they two lived happily ever after wali baat aati dusra wo jo writer ne chuna, kahani jis pace se aur jis hisab se chali hai us hisab se yahi end use suit karta hai, the ultimate sacrifice for someone whom we love.. title bhi kahani ke hisab se ekdum sahi hai..
A good read :thumbup:
 
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Adirshi

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Meri Doosri Muhabbat ~ Aagasthya

yaha logo ko ek mohabbat naseeb nahi ho rahi tum do do kar baithe :hinthint:
jokes apart par kahani meri upar likhi gayi line se bilkul alag hai.. an emotional and cute love story jo aajkal padhne ko kam millti hai aur laundo ke sath aisa kyu hota hai ke jab bhi dobara dil na lagane ka man banao tab hi koi chanchal shokh haseena samne aa jati hai :shy:
khair kahani ka start badhiya tha laga nahi ke writer ki ye pehli koshish hai, baki plot simple chuna gaya tha aur use sahi nibhaya bhi par end me ladki ko maar kyu diya mohabbat ki shuruwaat to ache se hone deta men :angrysad: ,
abhi abhi to mile the wo log bas kuch ghanto ki to mulakat thi usi ke baad alag karwa diya unko
tbhmere ko ye end nahi jama men, apun wants this story with an happy ending baat khatam 😌
baki considering this as your 1st effort, story sahi likhi hai, though ise aur bhi better banaya ja sakta tha but overall a good read :dost:
 
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Adirshi

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Pari ~ Indian Princess

sabse pehle to story ka topic ekdum gajab chuna hai aur usi ke according use sahi se pesh bhi kiya gaya hai.. an emotional story jisme samaaj me rehne wale kayi mansikta wale logo ko dikhaya gaya hai..
jaha pari ka character innocense show karta hai wahi abhinav ka character humanity jo ki aajkal bahut kam hi logo me dekhne ko milti hai warna aajkal koi bhi aise kisi ki madad nahi karta hai wahi sheetal ka character aaj ke time ke lagbhag bahut se logo ki soch batata hai jo ki bas apne bare me sochte hai wahi wo log jinhone mental hospital me pari ke sath jabardasti karne ki koshish ki wo samajh me pal rahi vikshipt aur krur mansikta ka pratik hai..
kahani me abhinav aur pari ki bonding bahut sahi tarike se batayi gayi hai uske liye full marks but ending was totally unexpected for me.. main chahta tha ke pari abhinav se dobara mil jaye thb jab pari jungle se bhag rahi thi main raste par aane keliye apne jaan bacane ke liye at the same time abhinav jab apni gaadi me pari ke hi bare me soch raha tha mujhe ek pal ko laga tha ke kahani ab wahi starting scene ke taraf ja rahi hai ek baar fir dono usi tarah milenge pari wapis abhinav ke gadi ke samne aake use milegi but afsos aisa nahi hua and we ended up with a sad ending..
though kuch jagah dialogues aur bhi sahi ho sakte the but overall a good experience reading this one, matlab main padhte time jud gaya tha kahani se... :superb:
 

Adirshi

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Buree Qismat! Phir bhi too milee ~ Destiny

thanks bhai light hearted story likhne ke liye,
back to back 3 sad story padhne ke baad this story was a breath of fresh air for me..
sara mood sahi kar diya ye story ne aur chehre par muskaan aa gayi..
waise to I don't relate that much with prabhu kyuki apun ghar me bada hai baki chhote se itne bhi kaam nahi karwaye jate bhai :D,
ha ab prabhu ki kismat ka kuch nahi keh sakte wo uske jivan me kab kya utpat macha de par ye bhi utna hi sahi hai ke agar kismat itni hi kharab hoti to wo khushi se dobara nahi milta..
baki kehne ko jyada nahi hai.. kahani achi hai sabse main main jaha post ki hai wo page bhi sahi hai, agar koi upar ki sari kahaniya padh ke aaye to use ye kahani jarur padhni chahiye, taki mood sahi ho jaye..
overall an enjoyable read. :superb:
 
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Adirshi

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Ehsaas ~ Baban

that was an amazing story bhai,
story bas do characters ke around ghumti hai tanmay aur maya aur unka pyaar...
it was a perfect mix for emotions and superbly written dialogues...
tanmay and maya's conversation was gem....
kahani padhte time koi ye nahi keh sakta ke maya mar chuki hai aur ye bas uska ehsaas hai jo tanmay ke ander ab bhi jivit hai,
good job baban bhai.. :superb:
 
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Adirshi

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INTEKAAM EK AAG .. ~ DARK WOLFKING

story ka title aur story line dono hi badhiya choose kiye hai Leon bhai aapne but kahani bahut jyada fast lagi mujhe,
aisa laga kisi badi story ka snyposis padh raha hu..
ye ek pratishodh ki kahani hai par itni fast likhi gayi hai ke caracters ne koi connect hi nahi kar paya main...
matlab kahani kya hai kaunsi ghatna kyu huyi hai ye sab to kahani me hai but jo major missing hai wo hai character buildup
matlab ek bhi charachter ka ek bhi dialogue nahi hai..
beharhaal kahani wakai badhiya hai agar aap shabdo me kanjusi nahi karte aur aur bhi badhiya ho jati.. :thumbup:
 
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Adirshi

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Love In Local Train ~ Jaguaar


bas ek hi sawal what do we call it love or arranged ?
a simple and well written love story jo padhne walo ke chehre par muskan le aaye,
ye ek aisi kahani hai jisse bahut log relate kar payenge aur unhe ye unki hi kahani lalegi
khas kar wo log jo mumbai se hai aur jinko local me kabhi pyar hua hai..
apne shahar se kahi dusri jagah jakar adjust karna aasan kaam nahi hai par agar kisi ka sath mil jaye to baat alag ho jati hai khas kar kisi khubsurat ladki ka, aman ke sath bhi aisa hi hua pehle sheetal se mulakat fir dosti aur fir pyaar..
writing ki baat kare to I know your writing skills very well to waha tipani karne ka koi matlab nahi hai, you are a phenomenal writer
it was an enjoyable read.. :superb:
 
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Adirshi

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ये कैसी बिदाई । ~ SANJU ( V. R. )

emotianal kar diya sanju bhai, this story is beyond compitition,
mera dimag kahani padhte time uske scene ko kisi film ki tarah background me chalane lagta hai aur aisa bas kuch ki kahaniyo ke sath hota hai,
main bilkul bhi utna emotional aadmi nahi hu but is kahani ne dil ko chuu liya bhai,
purani filmo ki yaad dila di aapne, aajkal aisi kahani padhne ko kam milti hai jo ek maa ke dard ko bayan kare, uspe bhi xf par to shayad hi aisi koi kahani milegi.. is kahani par bolne ke liye shabd kam pad rahe hai bhai..
aapki lekhni bahut kamal ki hai jisne is kahani ke madhyam se bahut powerful impact chhoda hai..
this is one of he best story of this contest no doubt.
plot ke chayan se leke character ke gathan tak, dialogues ke leke emotions tak sab perfect
this one is a must read. :superb:
 
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Adirshi

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लोकल ~ avsji

maine ye baat shayad chit chat me bhi kahi hai ye is USC me bahut sara quality content aaya hai and this story proves me right
this story truly shows writers experience in romance writing aur jis tarah se aapne local train uski jounnery ko bataya hai jis tarah se discribe kiya hai just amazing, is kahani me koi kami nahi hai..
main mumbai se to nahi hu ha par kayi baar mumbai gaya jarur hu aur local se safar bhi kiya hai so I can relate with the story,
bas meri story aur isme alag baat ye thi ke hamari najre to mili thi bar baat wahi khatam ho gayi :D
overall story was fantastic.. :superb:
 

Adirshi

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कानपुर से गोवा : एक यात्रा वृतांत ~ DREAMBOY40

:roflol:

The shaukeens :D
yahi sabse sahi hai shabd hai charo kirdaro ki samiksha karne ke liye, is kahani ko padhte huye hasi nahi ruk rahi thi
aapka comedy likhne ka style gajab hai bhai aur ye baat main shayad pehle bhi aapko ek kahani me bol chuka hu..
talking abuot the story char adhed umar ke dosto ki kahani hai ke wo kaise goa pahcuhe, halanki goa me unhone kya kya dhamal kiya wo janne me jada maja aata hame baki ye bhi sahi hai.. :D
An enyoyable read.. :superb:
 
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