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★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2022 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

Jaguaar

Prime
17,680
60,210
244
...Meri Doosri Muhabbat...
To agar pahela Ishq zakham thaa Naa
Too Dusra Ishq Malaham..

Too pahele Ishq nee mujhee sikhyaa Mujhee

Kyon pyaar karna chahiye , Too dusre Ishq nee sikhyaa

Mujhee.. Mujhe kyon pyaar karna chahiye

Aapne kabhi nayi slice ki bottle ke khali hone ke baad usme paani bhar ke piyaa hai..

Too pahela Ishq usme bhare aam rass ke jaisa hota hai

Too wahi Dusra Ishq paani jaisa jisme mehak aur

flavour too usi ki hoti hai par lekin voo swaad nahi hota

Too ye kahani hai mere...Doosre Ishq ki..


Too jab Paheli muhabbat, jab bikhar gyi thi Naa
Too Yee Tai Kiya tha ki ab..

Ab dobara kabhi Ghadi nahi pehanni hai.. ki ab ghadi ke kantee..

Agar Kisi ke nupatee me uljhee naa too kabhi sulajhh nahi payenge...

Too ab apne carrier pe dhyaan Dena hai apne sapno ko tabbajoo Deni hai..

Too padhaai ki aur exam dene ka faisla kiyaa..
Exam ki date Tay hui 12 Oct..

Sehar Lucknow..

Too Lucknow ki train pakdi aur uski aur nikal pade

2 station tak naa too koi train me Chadha aur
Naa hi koi utraa..

Aur Main apne hi khayalo me khoya hua tha..

Phir Teesre station pe entry Hui uski

Chitra... Chitra Sharma..

Lambai koi 5.8 inch..
Aur Rang bilkul dhoodh saa safeed..

Ekk white colour ki t-shirt...
Aur Ekk blue denim..

Kanno mee earphones..
Aur baal ekdum khule

Aur har ekk Chewim-gum ki bite pee..

bee sumaar..

Coolness..

Itnaa jaadu too sala..

Harry Potter ki..

Unn 7 kitabo , me nahi thaa..

Jitnaa uski unn doo ankho me thaa..


Usko dekh kr aisaa lagtaa thaa..
Naa..kii

Voo Taj mehal jaisi thi jisse Kewal muhabbat..
Kee liye banaaya gya hoo..

[..Ishq ki yaado kaa

Behad Hansi manzar thi voo

Mai doob jaata tha jiski yaado me

Voo samundar thi voo..]


Jisse dekh kr khush too huaa jaa saktaa hoo..

Lekin..Lekin usee kabhi apnaa naa banaaya jaa saktaa hoo..

Usaki Aankhe Itani Gahari Thi Ki, Tairana Aata Tha Magar Dub Jana Achchha Laga.

(Jeena Muhal Kar Rakha tha

Uski Inn Aankho Ne kaiyo kaa..

Khuli Ho To Talaash uski

Band Ho To Khwab uske)

Mai akshar khudaa see puchaa karta hu..
Kii Yee 2 aankh , 2 kaan , 1 naak

Aur battisss (32) daantoo wala yee
Combination..

Too hum sabkee pass hai naa..


Too Phir kyon.. kuch logo kee combinations
itnaa..itnaa

Perfect ...
itnaa Tabaahi hoti hai yaar..

Bairhaal uskee S2 mee enter karte hii..
Saari ladies nee

Jalan kee maare..
Lipstick kaa touch up kr liyaaa thaa...

Aur Ladkoo nee empression kee maare
Apne baal sawaar liye theee..

Lekin Mai...
Bhai Tumhara Sakth thaa..

Mai ab bhi apni kitaabo me uljhaaa hii hua tha..
Ki achanak

Voo mere pass ayi..

Aur booli ki..
Excuse me..

Kya mai yee app kaa..
Lower berth Lee sakti huu..

( ..Too dekhoo ..Yaar..

mai hawai jaahaaj mee too
Baithaa nahi thaa..

Jo khidki kee..bahar..kee badal.. jayada
important Hoo mere liye..)

Too maine kaha..
Theekh hai..
Hume koi aitraaz nahi..aap Lee sakti hoo..


Aur phir vo khidki kee bahar dekhne
Lag gyi aur

deekhtee - deekhtee - deekhtee...

Aur achanak meri aur muddi..
Aur boli..

Tum writer hoo...

Maine uski aur dekhte hue kaha..


Humn... haa..

Par aap ko kaise pata..

Usnee kaha bass...
bass pata hai..

Maine puchaa aap kya karti hoo..
Unhone kaha..

Barkhurdaar question karne kee sil-sileee mee
Pahele naam puchaa jaata hai..

Theek hai..

Too naam kya hai aap kaa..

Usne kaha Chitra sharma...

Phir jaisee Chitra rukii hii nahi..
Usnee mujhe lag bhag..

sab kuch bata diyaa..

Jaise ki - jaise ki
Kohli unhee kitnaa pasand hai..

Jaise ki - jaise ki

Kaise voo 8th class me Paheli baar apni
Cycle see gir gyi thi..

Aur apna ghutnaaa chilaa liyaa thaa..

Ki jaisee unhee kaddu bilkul pasand nahi..

(Vaisee bole too kaddu hum mee see kisi ko pasand nahi )

Usne mere ko yee bhi batayaa..
Usko hot choclate kaafi pasand hai..

Aur bataate-2 achanak mujh see
Puchaa ki..

Tumhee kya-2 pasand hai..

Maine kaha hot chocolate too nahi..

Haa..
Magar chai kee bade shaukeen hai..

Voo bhi extraa adrak wali..

Shaam koo..

Chai kaa waqt hua too..
Maine hum dono kee liye chai kharidi..

Aur Chai jab khatam hui..

Too phir unhone kaha ki chai kee paise
Mai pay karungi..

Too maine kaha ki yaar ye kaddu aur aur kohli
Kee bich paisee kaha see aagaye..

(Dil ki dhadkan aur meri sada hai tu
meri doosri aur akhiri wafa hai tu
chaha hai tujhe chahat se bhi bad kar
meri chahat aur chahat ki intiha hai tu..)

Hum Yee lazey aur laprwaah logo ki
Ekk aadat badi common hoti h..

Joo akshar bag see laptop yaa kitaabe
Nikaal lene ke baad..

Chain band karna bhool jaate h..

Too raat kaa jab waqt hua tab middle
Berth uthai gyi too..

Bag see meri cheeze farsh pe jaa giri..

Too phir maine
Apni mobile ke flashlight ki help see..

Farsh pr giri hui cheeze uthaai..
Aur apne berth pee rakh ke soone chala gya..

Subha 6 baje jab train Lucknow pr lagi..

Too asaaankh..logo kaa..
Huzumm chaddh gya thaa train mee..

Aur kisi tarah mai jadooo jahettee karte hue..
Apna bag tangaa aur platform pe
Utaar gya..

Phir yaad aya ki Chitra koo too alvidaa kahnaa hi
Bhul gya hu...

Aur mai vapas paltaa..

()

Par yee bhi too Tai Kiya tha Naa
Ki ab kisi koo choodh

Kee aane ke baad wapis palat ke nahi dekhnaa hai..

Too apne Mann see usee good byy kahne kaa khyal nikaalte hue..

Mai apne center ki aur nikal gya.
Exam chalu hone me 1 ghantaa thaa..

()

Too bag see jaise ki I'd proof..
Pencil eraser , pen wagira nikalne laga too..
Mere hoshh aurr..

Tootee...doonoo..

UDD gye..

Kyon ki mera admit card naadarad thaa..

Ekk anjaan shehar me jab aap kaa exam 1 ghante me chaalu hoo..

Aur aap kaa admit card aap koo naa mil raha hoo..
Naa..

Too sala tension God level ki hone lagti hai..

Maine exam officials see baat , request aur Jadoo jhett teeno ki..

Lekin woo logg Naa maane..

Hatashh mayushh baithaa hii thaa..
Kii..

Pichee see awaj aai..
Writer sehab kuch khoj rahe hai..

Kyaa.. ???


Maine palat kr pichhe dekhaa..
Too vaha pee Chitra khadi thi..

Hathoo mee mera admit card liye ...

Aur usi pal...
Laga ki yahi too cheez h..

Jiskii mujhe talash hai..

Voo dheere-2 mere pass aakr
Thodi doori pe Khadi hote hue kahti hai..

Vaisee aap tension me kaafi cute lagte hai...


Aur achaanak imteehaan ki ghanti bajj gyi..

Aur voo meri ankho me dekhte hue..
All the best ke liye thumbs-up kaa
Ishara karti h...

Aur mai exam Dena andar ki taraaf jaane laga..
Exam dene mai andar jaa hi Raha tha kii..

Usnee pichee see mujhe awaj lagyi...
Aur kaha..

Kii.. milnaaaa...

Humne kaha ki
Haa vahi yaar hum milenge kaise.. ???

Too unhone kaha ki..
Dasturrr raha too mil hii lengee..

Aur itnaa sunne ke baad mai andar exam hall me chala gya..

Exam dene ke baad jab mai lautaa..

Bass ekk hi makshad thaa jeevan mee
Ki ab Chitra koo khojnaa hai..

Snapc*t*. , f*. , Tw*tter , insta

Sab kuch pee koshish kii..
Par Chitra kahi nahi mili.. Mujhee..

Hataash laut hi Raha thaa ki
Kuch samaan lene ke liye..

Batuee mee see

Ekk note nikala
Jispe ekk aur dasturr likhaa tha..

Aur dusri aur Chitra kaa no.

(...Har ekk dastur see bewafai
maine shiddat see hai nibhai

rastey bhi khud h dhoondhe aur
Manzil bhi khud banai..)

Too sala yee ahhsaas hua ki
Voo logg kahte hai naa..Yaar..

Zindagi me unhee muhabbat ekk baar hoti hai
Voo jhutthh kahtee hai..

Maine no. Dial kiya..

Pahela call...phir dusra.. Aur phir teesra call karne ke baad jab usne call nahi uthaya

Too Mai ekk baar ko udaas saa ho gya..
aur phir ekk aakhri baar call karne ki sochi

Lekin iss baar meri kismat ne mera saath diya aur
Phone uthaa liyaa gya..


Maine hello.. kaha..


Too phir udhar see

Kisi aadmi ki sakth aur bhaari bharkham aavaj sunai padi..


Jii aap kon..

Mai ekk baar koo thoda shock aur thoda hairan dono hoo gya..

Kyon ki mujhe bilkul bhi umeed nahi thi ki uskaa phone koi aur uthayega..

( Ekk baar koo mujhe laga ki kahi yee uskaa koi Jaan kaar yaa koi aur uska parichit too nahi )

Maine kaha jii..

Ye Chitra jii see baat karni thi..


Karib 5 se 10 second ki khamoshi kee baad
Vaha see koi jawab naa aata dekhh..

Maine phir see apna sawal dooh rahaya..

Too us aadmi nee thoda hichakte hue jawab diya..
Aur kaha ki..

Jii mai head constable Suresh Rane baat kr raha hu.. Azad chowk market see..

Police kaa naam suntee hi ekk baar ko too mai shocked ho gya..


Aur phir usne ekk lambi saans li Aur bolna chalu kiya..

Aur kaha..ki

Abhi kuch der pahele ekk truck nee...
ekk ladki koo
Takkar maar di...

Aur ladki ki at a time maukee pee hi Mautt hoo gyi..

Aur jab ye haadshaa hua

Mai uss see kuch doori pe hii chay ki dukaan pe baithaa hua tha...

Uss area me hi meri duty lagi thi..

Jab truck ne uss ladki ko takkar maari too
uskaa phone chatak kee kuch Durr divider ke paas jhadiyo mee jaa gira tha..

Aur abhi jab call aya tab hi meri iss pee nazar padi..

10 min pahele uski body ko ambulance mee daal ke city hospital Lee Jaya gya h..

Hadsaa hone ke turant baad maine inform kar diya tha..

Aap uski family ko inform kr dena..

Aur phone cut gya..

Ekk baar koo aisaa laga ki kisi nee ..
garam-2 tel mere kaano me daal diya hoo..

Mai kuch sunne samajhne ki haalat mee hi nahi thaa..
Mere dil ki dhadkan bahut teezi see chalni suru ho gyi thi..

Mera pura jism kuch hi min me poora pasine see bheeg Chuka thaa..


Mere gala bilkul sukkh gya thaa..
Mere muhh see ekk sabd bhi nahi nikal Raha thaa..

Meri halat bilkul kaato too khunn nahi aisi hoo gyi thi..

Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha mai kaise react Karu..

Mai cheekh naa chaahataa tha chillaana chahtaa tha...

Joor-2 se apna Seena Peet-2 ke Rona chahta tha
Duniyaa koo batana chahta tha..

Jaise ekk pal me sab kuch mil ke bhi mera sab kuch phir see kho gya..


Jindgi Me Baar Baar Sahara Nahi Milta

Baar Baar Pyar Se Koi Pyara Nahi Milta
Jo Pass Hai Aapke Usko Sambhal Kar Rakho

Kyoki Khone Ke Baad Vo Kabhi Dobara Nahi Milta



The End
Nice Storyyy

Par kuch samaj nhii aaya. Pehle kaha dobara pyaar mein nhi padhna thaa. Phir train mein ek anjaan ladki se itni baate. Exam centre mein dobara milne ke waade.

Usko har social media site mein khojna aur uska number kaha aaya uske purse meinn. Kyaa koiii jaadu hogyaa thaa.

Phir jab uski maut ki khabar sunni toh dukh hona chahiye par chikhna chillana seena peet peet kar rone ki sochna yeh sab bahot hi ajeeb laga. Bahot saare words dobaar bhi likhe gaye hai. Kyo kisliye lata nhi.
 

Aagasthya

A Loner.
Staff member
Moderator
28,099
12,918
259
Nice Storyyy

Par kuch samaj nhii aaya. Pehle kaha dobara pyaar mein nhi padhna thaa. Phir train mein ek anjaan ladki se itni baate. Exam centre mein dobara milne ke waade.

Usko har social media site mein khojna aur uska number kaha aaya uske purse meinn. Kyaa koiii jaadu hogyaa thaa.

Phir jab uski maut ki khabar sunni toh dukh hona chahiye par chikhna chillana seena peet peet kar rone ki sochna yeh sab bahot hi ajeeb laga. Bahot saare words dobaar bhi likhe gaye hai. Kyo kisliye lata nhi.
Story post karte time aadhi story gayab ho gyi thi..
Too usse dobaara usi waqt likhnaa pada..
Jiske chalte kuch chize upar nichhe ho gyi..

Aur batuee me 10 ke note pe uska no. Likha tha..
Joo usne khud likha tha jab berth uthaate waqt uski cheeze niche gir gyi thi.. :p:
And thanks for review.. :thank_you:
 
Last edited:

Mahi Maurya

Dil Se Dil Tak
Prime
22,758
46,183
259
कहानी- अजीब रात
रचनाकार- Sigma_Male महोदय

बहुत ही बेहतरीन महोदय।।

कभी कभी जीवन में ऐसी अप्रत्याशित घटनाएं घट जाती हैं जिसके बारे में सोचना और कल्पना करना भी शरीर में झुरझुरी पैदा कर देता है। बड़े बुजुर्ग हमेशा से कहते आ रहे हैं कि भूत प्रेत का अस्तित्व होता है लेकिन उनपर कोई विश्वास नहीं करता। अमन, स्नेहा और रोहित ये तीनों ही भूत हैं जो किसी न किसी दुर्घटना में अपनी जान गंवा चुके हैं।। इनकी कुछ इच्छाएं शायद अधूरी रह गई हैं इसलिए ये भटक रहे हैं।।

लेकिन एक बात समझ मे नहीं आई। कि स्नेहा और रोहित जिनका कुछ दिन पहले कर दुर्घटना में मृत्यु हो गई वो लोगों की मदद करते हैं या फिर उनको प्रताड़ित करते हैं अमन का किरदार यहां पर खलनायक वाला ही लग रहा है। क्योंकि उसके चक्कर मे ही वो ऑटो चालक की भी शायद मौत हो चुकी है।।

कभी कभी चलते चलते हम ऐसी अनजान शक्तियों से टकरा जाते हैं जिसका हमें कोई भान नहीं होता। जब तक अपने साथ कोई अप्रिय घटना नहीं घटती तब तक हमें इस बात का एहसास नहीं होता। ऑटो ड्राइवर पहले ही डर रहा था अमन की बात सुनकर, लेकिन जब उसे पता चला कि उसने अपने साथ एक बहुत को बैठाया हुआ है तो वो बहुत ज्यादा डर गया और उसका ऑटो पलट गया।।
 

Sigma_Male

Σ
Staff member
Moderator
13,799
10,336
229
कहानी- अजीब रात
रचनाकार- Sigma_Male महोदय

बहुत ही बेहतरीन महोदय।।

कभी कभी जीवन में ऐसी अप्रत्याशित घटनाएं घट जाती हैं जिसके बारे में सोचना और कल्पना करना भी शरीर में झुरझुरी पैदा कर देता है। बड़े बुजुर्ग हमेशा से कहते आ रहे हैं कि भूत प्रेत का अस्तित्व होता है लेकिन उनपर कोई विश्वास नहीं करता। अमन, स्नेहा और रोहित ये तीनों ही भूत हैं जो किसी न किसी दुर्घटना में अपनी जान गंवा चुके हैं।। इनकी कुछ इच्छाएं शायद अधूरी रह गई हैं इसलिए ये भटक रहे हैं।।

लेकिन एक बात समझ मे नहीं आई। कि स्नेहा और रोहित जिनका कुछ दिन पहले कर दुर्घटना में मृत्यु हो गई वो लोगों की मदद करते हैं या फिर उनको प्रताड़ित करते हैं अमन का किरदार यहां पर खलनायक वाला ही लग रहा है। क्योंकि उसके चक्कर मे ही वो ऑटो चालक की भी शायद मौत हो चुकी है।।

कभी कभी चलते चलते हम ऐसी अनजान शक्तियों से टकरा जाते हैं जिसका हमें कोई भान नहीं होता। जब तक अपने साथ कोई अप्रिय घटना नहीं घटती तब तक हमें इस बात का एहसास नहीं होता। ऑटो ड्राइवर पहले ही डर रहा था अमन की बात सुनकर, लेकिन जब उसे पता चला कि उसने अपने साथ एक बहुत को बैठाया हुआ है तो वो बहुत ज्यादा डर गया और उसका ऑटो पलट गया।।
Aman khalnayak nahi hai, asal me zyadatar bhooto ko nahi pata hota ki vo mar chuke hain, bus wahi case yahan par hai
Thank you for detailed review
 

11 ster fan

Lazy villain
2,961
7,004
143
...Meri Doosri Muhabbat...
To agar pahela Ishq zakham thaa Naa
Too Dusra Ishq Malaham..

Too pahele Ishq nee mujhee sikhyaa Mujhee

Kyon pyaar karna chahiye , Too dusre Ishq nee sikhyaa

Mujhee.. Mujhe kyon pyaar karna chahiye

Aapne kabhi nayi slice ki bottle ke khali hone ke baad usme paani bhar ke piyaa hai..

Too pahela Ishq usme bhare aam rass ke jaisa hota hai

Too wahi Dusra Ishq paani jaisa jisme mehak aur

flavour too usi ki hoti hai par lekin voo swaad nahi hota

Too ye kahani hai mere...Doosre Ishq ki..


Too jab Paheli muhabbat, jab bikhar gyi thi Naa
Too Yee Tai Kiya tha ki ab..

Ab dobara kabhi Ghadi nahi pehanni hai.. ki ab ghadi ke kantee..

Agar Kisi ke nupatee me uljhee naa too kabhi sulajhh nahi payenge...

Too ab apne carrier pe dhyaan Dena hai apne sapno ko tabbajoo Deni hai..

Too padhaai ki aur exam dene ka faisla kiyaa..
Exam ki date Tay hui 12 Oct..

Sehar Lucknow..

Too Lucknow ki train pakdi aur uski aur nikal pade

2 station tak naa too koi train me Chadha aur
Naa hi koi utraa..

Aur Main apne hi khayalo me khoya hua tha..

Phir Teesre station pe entry Hui uski

Chitra... Chitra Sharma..

Lambai koi 5.8 inch..
Aur Rang bilkul dhoodh saa safeed..

Ekk white colour ki t-shirt...
Aur Ekk blue denim..

Kanno mee earphones..
Aur baal ekdum khule

Aur har ekk Chewim-gum ki bite pee..

bee sumaar..

Coolness..

Itnaa jaadu too sala..

Harry Potter ki..

Unn 7 kitabo , me nahi thaa..

Jitnaa uski unn doo ankho me thaa..


Usko dekh kr aisaa lagtaa thaa..
Naa..kii

Voo Taj mehal jaisi thi jisse Kewal muhabbat..
Kee liye banaaya gya hoo..

[..Ishq ki yaado kaa

Behad Hansi manzar thi voo

Mai doob jaata tha jiski yaado me

Voo samundar thi voo..]


Jisse dekh kr khush too huaa jaa saktaa hoo..

Lekin..Lekin usee kabhi apnaa naa banaaya jaa saktaa hoo..

Usaki Aankhe Itani Gahari Thi Ki, Tairana Aata Tha Magar Dub Jana Achchha Laga.

(Jeena Muhal Kar Rakha tha

Uski Inn Aankho Ne kaiyo kaa..

Khuli Ho To Talaash uski

Band Ho To Khwab uske)

Mai akshar khudaa see puchaa karta hu..
Kii Yee 2 aankh , 2 kaan , 1 naak

Aur battisss (32) daantoo wala yee
Combination..

Too hum sabkee pass hai naa..


Too Phir kyon.. kuch logo kee combinations
itnaa..itnaa

Perfect ...
itnaa Tabaahi hoti hai yaar..

Bairhaal uskee S2 mee enter karte hii..
Saari ladies nee

Jalan kee maare..
Lipstick kaa touch up kr liyaaa thaa...

Aur Ladkoo nee empression kee maare
Apne baal sawaar liye theee..

Lekin Mai...
Bhai Tumhara Sakth thaa..

Mai ab bhi apni kitaabo me uljhaaa hii hua tha..
Ki achanak

Voo mere pass ayi..

Aur booli ki..
Excuse me..

Kya mai yee app kaa..
Lower berth Lee sakti huu..

( ..Too dekhoo ..Yaar..

mai hawai jaahaaj mee too
Baithaa nahi thaa..

Jo khidki kee..bahar..kee badal.. jayada
important Hoo mere liye..)

Too maine kaha..
Theekh hai..
Hume koi aitraaz nahi..aap Lee sakti hoo..


Aur phir vo khidki kee bahar dekhne
Lag gyi aur

deekhtee - deekhtee - deekhtee...

Aur achanak meri aur muddi..
Aur boli..

Tum writer hoo...

Maine uski aur dekhte hue kaha..


Humn... haa..

Par aap ko kaise pata..

Usnee kaha bass...
bass pata hai..

Maine puchaa aap kya karti hoo..
Unhone kaha..

Barkhurdaar question karne kee sil-sileee mee
Pahele naam puchaa jaata hai..

Theek hai..

Too naam kya hai aap kaa..

Usne kaha Chitra sharma...

Phir jaisee Chitra rukii hii nahi..
Usnee mujhe lag bhag..

sab kuch bata diyaa..

Jaise ki - jaise ki
Kohli unhee kitnaa pasand hai..

Jaise ki - jaise ki

Kaise voo 8th class me Paheli baar apni
Cycle see gir gyi thi..

Aur apna ghutnaaa chilaa liyaa thaa..

Ki jaisee unhee kaddu bilkul pasand nahi..

(Vaisee bole too kaddu hum mee see kisi ko pasand nahi )

Usne mere ko yee bhi batayaa..
Usko hot choclate kaafi pasand hai..

Aur bataate-2 achanak mujh see
Puchaa ki..

Tumhee kya-2 pasand hai..

Maine kaha hot chocolate too nahi..

Haa..
Magar chai kee bade shaukeen hai..

Voo bhi extraa adrak wali..

Shaam koo..

Chai kaa waqt hua too..
Maine hum dono kee liye chai kharidi..

Aur Chai jab khatam hui..

Too phir unhone kaha ki chai kee paise
Mai pay karungi..

Too maine kaha ki yaar ye kaddu aur aur kohli
Kee bich paisee kaha see aagaye..

(Dil ki dhadkan aur meri sada hai tu
meri doosri aur akhiri wafa hai tu
chaha hai tujhe chahat se bhi bad kar
meri chahat aur chahat ki intiha hai tu..)

Hum Yee lazey aur laprwaah logo ki
Ekk aadat badi common hoti h..

Joo akshar bag see laptop yaa kitaabe
Nikaal lene ke baad..

Chain band karna bhool jaate h..

Too raat kaa jab waqt hua tab middle
Berth uthai gyi too..

Bag see meri cheeze farsh pe jaa giri..

Too phir maine
Apni mobile ke flashlight ki help see..

Farsh pr giri hui cheeze uthaai..
Aur apne berth pee rakh ke soone chala gya..

Subha 6 baje jab train Lucknow pr lagi..

Too asaaankh..logo kaa..
Huzumm chaddh gya thaa train mee..

Aur kisi tarah mai jadooo jahettee karte hue..
Apna bag tangaa aur platform pe
Utaar gya..

Phir yaad aya ki Chitra koo too alvidaa kahnaa hi
Bhul gya hu...

Aur mai vapas paltaa..

()

Par yee bhi too Tai Kiya tha Naa
Ki ab kisi koo choodh

Kee aane ke baad wapis palat ke nahi dekhnaa hai..

Too apne Mann see usee good byy kahne kaa khyal nikaalte hue..

Mai apne center ki aur nikal gya.
Exam chalu hone me 1 ghantaa thaa..

()

Too bag see jaise ki I'd proof..
Pencil eraser , pen wagira nikalne laga too..
Mere hoshh aurr..

Tootee...doonoo..

UDD gye..

Kyon ki mera admit card naadarad thaa..

Ekk anjaan shehar me jab aap kaa exam 1 ghante me chaalu hoo..

Aur aap kaa admit card aap koo naa mil raha hoo..
Naa..

Too sala tension God level ki hone lagti hai..

Maine exam officials see baat , request aur Jadoo jhett teeno ki..

Lekin woo logg Naa maane..

Hatashh mayushh baithaa hii thaa..
Kii..

Pichee see awaj aai..
Writer sehab kuch khoj rahe hai..

Kyaa.. ???


Maine palat kr pichhe dekhaa..
Too vaha pee Chitra khadi thi..

Hathoo mee mera admit card liye ...

Aur usi pal...
Laga ki yahi too cheez h..

Jiskii mujhe talash hai..

Voo dheere-2 mere pass aakr
Thodi doori pe Khadi hote hue kahti hai..

Vaisee aap tension me kaafi cute lagte hai...


Aur achaanak imteehaan ki ghanti bajj gyi..

Aur voo meri ankho me dekhte hue..
All the best ke liye thumbs-up kaa
Ishara karti h...

Aur mai exam Dena andar ki taraaf jaane laga..
Exam dene mai andar jaa hi Raha tha kii..

Usnee pichee see mujhe awaj lagyi...
Aur kaha..

Kii.. milnaaaa...

Humne kaha ki
Haa vahi yaar hum milenge kaise.. ???

Too unhone kaha ki..
Dasturrr raha too mil hii lengee..

Aur itnaa sunne ke baad mai andar exam hall me chala gya..

Exam dene ke baad jab mai lautaa..

Bass ekk hi makshad thaa jeevan mee
Ki ab Chitra koo khojnaa hai..

Snapc*t*. , f*. , Tw*tter , insta

Sab kuch pee koshish kii..
Par Chitra kahi nahi mili.. Mujhee..

Hataash laut hi Raha thaa ki
Kuch samaan lene ke liye..

Batuee mee see

Ekk note nikala
Jispe ekk aur dasturr likhaa tha..

Aur dusri aur Chitra kaa no.

(...Har ekk dastur see bewafai
maine shiddat see hai nibhai

rastey bhi khud h dhoondhe aur
Manzil bhi khud banai..)

Too sala yee ahhsaas hua ki
Voo logg kahte hai naa..Yaar..

Zindagi me unhee muhabbat ekk baar hoti hai
Voo jhutthh kahtee hai..

Maine no. Dial kiya..

Pahela call...phir dusra.. Aur phir teesra call karne ke baad jab usne call nahi uthaya

Too Mai ekk baar ko udaas saa ho gya..
aur phir ekk aakhri baar call karne ki sochi

Lekin iss baar meri kismat ne mera saath diya aur
Phone uthaa liyaa gya..


Maine hello.. kaha..


Too phir udhar see

Kisi aadmi ki sakth aur bhaari bharkham aavaj sunai padi..


Jii aap kon..

Mai ekk baar koo thoda shock aur thoda hairan dono hoo gya..

Kyon ki mujhe bilkul bhi umeed nahi thi ki uskaa phone koi aur uthayega..

( Ekk baar koo mujhe laga ki kahi yee uskaa koi Jaan kaar yaa koi aur uska parichit too nahi )

Maine kaha jii..

Ye Chitra jii see baat karni thi..


Karib 5 se 10 second ki khamoshi kee baad
Vaha see koi jawab naa aata dekhh..

Maine phir see apna sawal dooh rahaya..

Too us aadmi nee thoda hichakte hue jawab diya..
Aur kaha ki..

Jii mai head constable Suresh Rane baat kr raha hu.. Azad chowk market see..

Police kaa naam suntee hi ekk baar ko too mai shocked ho gya..


Aur phir usne ekk lambi saans li Aur bolna chalu kiya..

Aur kaha..ki

Abhi kuch der pahele ekk truck nee...
ekk ladki koo
Takkar maar di...

Aur ladki ki at a time maukee pee hi Mautt hoo gyi..

Aur jab ye haadshaa hua

Mai uss see kuch doori pe hii chay ki dukaan pe baithaa hua tha...

Uss area me hi meri duty lagi thi..

Jab truck ne uss ladki ko takkar maari too
uskaa phone chatak kee kuch Durr divider ke paas jhadiyo mee jaa gira tha..

Aur abhi jab call aya tab hi meri iss pee nazar padi..

10 min pahele uski body ko ambulance mee daal ke city hospital Lee Jaya gya h..

Hadsaa hone ke turant baad maine inform kar diya tha..

Aap uski family ko inform kr dena..

Aur phone cut gya..

Ekk baar koo aisaa laga ki kisi nee ..
garam-2 tel mere kaano me daal diya hoo..

Mai kuch sunne samajhne ki haalat mee hi nahi thaa..
Mere dil ki dhadkan bahut teezi see chalni suru ho gyi thi..

Mera pura jism kuch hi min me poora pasine see bheeg Chuka thaa..


Mere gala bilkul sukkh gya thaa..
Mere muhh see ekk sabd bhi nahi nikal Raha thaa..

Meri halat bilkul kaato too khunn nahi aisi hoo gyi thi..

Mujhe samajh nahi aa raha tha mai kaise react Karu..

Mai cheekh naa chaahataa tha chillaana chahtaa tha...

Joor-2 se apna Seena Peet-2 ke Rona chahta tha
Duniyaa koo batana chahta tha..

Jaise ekk pal me sab kuch mil ke bhi mera sab kuch phir see kho gya..


Jindgi Me Baar Baar Sahara Nahi Milta

Baar Baar Pyar Se Koi Pyara Nahi Milta
Jo Pass Hai Aapke Usko Sambhal Kar Rakho

Kyoki Khone Ke Baad Vo Kabhi Dobara Nahi Milta



The End
Ladki ki hight kuchh jyada hi ho gayi hai...
Aur train me chitra ka Milana aur uska apna sab kuchh batana ye darshata hai ki wo ladki first sight love me chali gayi..khair exam center par aakar uska admit card dekar Jana hero ( name bhi mention nhi hai😔) attraction ( pyar) ko aur bada Diya...ladke ne har social media par usse khoja but kahi nhi mili...lekin note par mil gaya...lekin wo note iske pass jab aayi🤔..yaha Tak to story sahi ja rhi thi but wo truck accident m.s dhoni movie ki yaad dila di...Jo ki ek achchha ending nhi kaha ja sakta...aisa laga jaise last me aake aapka apne story se niyantran se Jane laga to ek jaldibaji me ending de Diya.. story ki shayari mujhe bahut pasand aaya...Mai chahuga ki ju ek aur story contest ke likho ...aur ending sahi karna ...aur shayari ko sahi time me dalana ..bahut jagah anawashayak laga...
Nice story...I love this with some amended...
 
Last edited:

11 ster fan

Lazy villain
2,961
7,004
143
" Everything Is Binary "


Main roz ki tarah hi phising kar raha tha, Yahi kaam tha mera dusron ke article ko bich network se uthana aur usme kuch letter badal kar apne pass rakh lena. Jadatar ye article US, UK, Germny ke hi hote the. Malum tha ger-kanuni hai lekin snooping aur phising karne walon ko pakadna abhi mushkil kaam tha, ache paise bhi mil jaya karte the. Jabse dunia internet par channe lagi thi hum jaison ki amdani mein badhtotri jarur ho gayi thi. Open source operating system ka sabse jada fayda yahi tha ki usme sabut mitane mein asani hoti thi aur secure bhi hoti thi lekin aksar log secure chiz ko chhod wo operating system chhunte the jisme kaam asani se ho jaye isliye mera kaam aur asan ho jaya karta tha. Roz ki tarah aaj bhi meri script chal rahi thi aur UK ke ek article ko snoop karte hue uske kuch letter change karne mein lagi hui thi. Word ke kuch letter badalne par vo word galat ho jata tha lekin yahi samne walle ki demand hoti thi. Aksar mera kaam sirf script chalana hota tha baki main dusre terminal par apna alag kaam karta tha. Abhi bhi wahi kar raha tha ki tabhi meri nazar script par padhi jo ek jagah par halt kar gayi thi.

Halt dekh mene us terminal ko maximize kara aur abhi uska duplicate terminal khol kar check karta utne mein vo chal padi jise dekh mene apna irada badal diya. Ho sakta hai network par kuch time laga ho. Main terminal ko minimize karne hi wala tha ki meri nazar terminal par chal rahi commands ke output par padi jo ki aam-tor wale output se alag thi.

" ye kya chal raha hai " abhi dhayan se dekhna shuru kara hi tha ki kuch data accumulate hone laga. Kuch samajh pata use pehle achanak se screen par blue color ki dots ikhati honi shuru ho gayi aur agle hi pal ek hologram screen par ubhar kar mere samne aa gaya jo ek chehre mein tabdeel ho chuka tha.

" holy shitt... " main achanak se apni seat se uchakte hue piche ki taraf hua. Mene aaj tak aisa kabhi nahi dekha tha, ek pal laga jaise kisi fedral agency ne mujhe pakad liya hai aur ab mere bachne ka koi chance nahi tha kyun ki ab tak to unhone mere system ki har chiz ko read kar liya hoga. " shit.. jaldi se power cable nikalni hogi " dimag mein pehla khayal yahi aya jabki iska koi faiyda nahi tha par sabse pehle wahi karna theek laga. Mene fauran apna CPU aage ki taraf khincha aur power cable nikalne ko hi hua ki CPU ke bagal mein rakhe speaker mein se ek awaz ayi " Don't panic " awaz sunte hi mene CPU ek dum se chhod diya aur piche ki taraf baith gaya.

" I know what are you thinking " Awaz speaker mein se aa rahi thi lekin jo bol raha tha vo koi aur nahi balki screen wala Hologram tha. " Just Stay Calm and listen to me " Us hologram ne dubara bola jise sun na jane kyun main thodi aage ki taraf hua aur Hologram ko dhayan se dekhne laga. Na hi vo chehra mujhe insan ka lag raha tha aur na hi kisi alien ka. Kyun ki ek dafa mujhe ye bhi laga tha ki shayad mere system ko kisi Alien ne kabze mein le liya hai.

" machine jaisa chehra hai " sochte hi uski awaz ayi aur main thoda piche ki taraf ho gaya. Awaz bhi aisi thi mano jaise koi machine ki awaz ho, nahi.. machine hi bol rahi ho. " this is some super tech shit.. " main soch raha tha aur vo kuch bol raha tha isliye dhayan uski taraf laga dia.

" You are going to do some extra-ordinary things in your future days. Not today, not tomorrow but in some years. You will discover some extra-ordinary things which will be used for the betterment for this whole world "

" nahi bhai... main sirf chor hun.. ise jada kuch nahi... " khud se main bola kyun ki ise jada main kuch tha bhi nahi. Bar-bar yahi khayal aa raha tha ki kisi Fedral Agency ne mujhe hack kar liya hai aur ye sab waqt kaat rahe hain taki meri location track kar sakein, ye sab jante hue bhi na jane kyun main us Hologram se nazar hi nahi hata paa raha tha. Because for me, this is the best shit i am seeing in my life.

" I know this is difficult for you to understand but as much as it is important for you, it is more important for this world "

" difficult nahi .. main maan hi kahan raha hun.. ye sab mujhe fasane ki chaal hai.. par samajh nahi aa raha ki jisne bhi ye kiya vo kiya kaise " khud se sawal aur soch mein itna kho raha tha ki ye bholta jaa raha tha ki bas kuch der aur jiske baad main pakda jaunga.

" And I know you are not believing me right now but you will. I am gonna share something with you which will make you believe that you will gonna change this world " Hologram ne bolna band kiya aur uske baad ek ke baad ek file background open honi shuru ho gayi. Kuch hi pal mein meri puri window par alag-alag file khul gayi jise dekhte hi mere peron talle zameen hi khisak gayi aur main chair ke handle ko pakdte hue apni seat se khada hua aur un chizon ko padne ke liye mano screen mein ghus hi gaya tha.

" unbelievable " itna hi bola ki achanak se vo sabhi chizen screen se gayab ho gayi aur Hologram se awaz ate hi wapis ja baitha.

" Don't worry, this is all for you. And now i believe you are satisfied with my message. Please do not share this with anyone " iske baad ek pause aya meri life mein aur us hologram ke bolne par bhi.

" Extracting files now " Hologram ki awaz ayi aur mene dekha ki dusre terminal mein extraction shuru ho gayi jise dekhte hi samajh aa gaya ki ek path par folder ban raha hai jiske andar sab kuch jaa raha hai vo abhi chal hi raha tha ki hologram fir se bola. " And remember Everything Is Binary " usne itna hi kaha aur vo hologram destroy hokar puri screen par dots ke roop mein fial gaya. Hologram ke destroy hone ke baad bhi main screen ko hi ghurta raha jaise lag raha ho ki ab kuch hone wala hai, ab kuch hone wala hai par jab kuch nahi hua aur meri chal rahi script complete hui tab main hosh mein aya. Hosh mein atte hi sabse pehla kaam jo mene kiya vo tha susu. Ghabrahat se itna pressure bana tha ya thodi der pehle piye full glass juice se par susu karke jab aya tab pet se relax hua warna dimag to abhi bhi sann tha.

Jo folder Hologram duara extract hua tha vo ek location par pada tha lekin himmat nahi ho rahi thi ki main use khol kar dekh bhi sakun. Man hi man cha to main raha tha lekin himmat nahi ho rahi thi. Ye lag raha tha ki kuch der mein koi mujhe pakad kar le jayega aur isliye man keh raha tha ki sab kuch tabah kar dun par us hologram ki baat jaise dimag mein stuck kar rahi thi, kyun main apni zindagi ek mazak ke chalte khatam kar raha hun, utha kar le gaya koi to salon sadna padega.

" bhaad mein gayi dunia, sorry hologram bhaiya... nahi ho payega " mene terminal khola aur usme command dali ' rm -rvf /* ' bas enter daba aur khel khatam. Ye ungli enter kyun nahi daba rahi daba.. daba .dabaa.... Main man se puri takat laga kar cheekh raha tha lekin meri ungli ne enter nahi dabaya.

" shit... " mene command wala terminal band kiya aur CPU se Cd eject karke bahar nikali jiske andar meri phising wala sara data tha aur computer ki screen ko switch off kar diya. Fatt bhi rahi thi aur ek alag tarah ka utsah bhi andar paida ho gaya tha. Ab ya to meri fategi tabhi ye utsah khatam hoga ya fir is utsah ko koi maar de to chain milne wala tha. CD ko hath mein pakde main chair par piche ki taraf fel gaya aur hologram ki baat ko sochne laga, kuch der ache se sochne ke baad conclusion aya " do din se kacha nahi badla world kya badlunga.. mujhse nahi ho payega ... " apni jagah se khada hua aur telephone se number dial kiya ' 0-1-2-4-8' number dial karte hi ring jane lagi aur che-sath ring ke baad phone utha.

" hello "

" kaam ho gaya, kab milna hai "

" tumhe sham ko phone karne ko kaha tha. Kaam ke time par phone mat kiya karo "

" Kaam to main hi karta hun tumhara "

" han aur main ghanta bajati hun.. 2 ghante mein milo "

" last wali payment bhi kar dena aaj "

" han ready hai aur jada batein mat kiya karo phone par kitni baar bola hai " phone cut hua to mene bhi phone patak diya. Phone rakhte hi main ubasi lete hue bathroom mein ghusa aur naha dho kar apartment se nikal gaya. Takreeban do ghante ki bus thi aur bus mein baithe kab soya malum hi nahi chala. " Remember Everything Is Binary " achanak se ankh khuli.

" bhaiya tumhara stop aa gaya utarna nahi hai kya " conductor chillaya.

" han han.. utar raha hun.. " bus se utar kar main galiyun se hote hue ek apartment ke samne jaa ruka aur wahan lagi bell bajai. Ek bell bajte hi samne ka kiwad khula aur abhi kuch kehta usne chup rehne ka ishara kar diya. Vo phone par kisi se baat kar rahi thi. Uske darwaja kholte hi main andar aya aur andar waqt mene kundi laga di. Main wahin bistar par baith gaya aur jug se pani pine laga tab tak usne apni baat nipta li.

" lao.. " usne sidhe yahi kaha.

" na dua na salam direct lao.. "

" samay kam hai aaj " vo apne bag se kuch nikalne lagi.

" main to soch kar aya tha ki... " usne meri taraf envelope badaya. " purre hain.. gin lo.. aaj tak ka hissab chuka kar diya hai tumhara, ab jaldi se lao " mene envolpe liya aur CD use pakda di.

" rate badne wala hai " mene paise envolpe se nikal kar dekha.

" acha? kis kushi mein? " vo CD par marker se likhte hue boli " girlfriend bana li jo kharche badh gaye tere? "

" risk badh gaya hai "

" acha .. " vo halka sa tans kaste hue muh khol kar hansi " risk to sadak par bhi hai to kya ab security guard sath rakh kar chalega.. paisa nahi badega "

" yahan main apni jaan jokhim mein dal kar tumhe lakhon kamwata hun aur tum kuch hazar nahi badha sakti "

" hazar badh jayenge par fir vo nahi milega jiski jarurat puri karne ki wajah se tumne han bhari thi ... " vo kamar matkate hue mere najdeek ayi. Bas yahin main fisal jata tha aur uska kaam saste mein kar diya karta tha. Jab vo mere najdeek ayi to mene apne hath uski gardan par rakh diye, short hair ke chalte main uski gardan ki skin ko ache se feel kar sakta tha. Gardan se chatiyun tak aya aur wahan uski skin ko feel karne laga. Na jane kya jadu tha uski skin mein, chutte hi meri pent ke andar ka vajan badh jaya karta tha. Chati par hath ferte hue mene anguthe se uske honton ko dabate hue ragda. Vo bhi madhosh ho gayi thi, use bhi acha lagta tha tabhi to usne mujhe shuruwat mein indirectly offer diya tha iss kaam ko karne ke liye.

" jaldi kar.. kaam se jana hai mujhe bhi " usne mera hath apne seene se hataya aur kurti ko pakad kar apne sharir se alag kar diya. Andar safed color ki bra mein uski halki wheatish color ki skin mujhe suhawani lag rahi thi. Vo meri aaur dekhte hue palti aur mene uski bra ke huk khol diye jise usne turant zameen par gira diya. Salwar ka nada usne khol diya aur penty samet vo niche mere samne nang jhuk kar khadi ho gayi. Main ek pal uski bhari jawani ko dekhne laga jo kai baar dekh chuka tha par jab bhi dekhta aisa lagta pehli dafa dekh raha hun. Chut par halke baal dekh khujli si mach gayi mere sharir mein.

" aa naa.. " usne apni nazar piche ki aur uske chote chote baal ankhon ke aage aa gaye. Main use dekhte hue fauran khada hua, apni belt khol jeans samet kache ko niche kiya aur uske sharir ke nazdeek aa gaya. " thoda rough kario aaj.. " vo boli aur usne table ko kas kar pakad liya. Mene apne lund ko hath se pakda aur uski chut par rakh kar dhakka mara aur dono ke muh se ek sath ' aah-hh ' nikli. Chut itni gli thi ki lund asani se andar ghus gaya aur fir main zor-zor se dhakke lagane laga. Dhakon ki raftar tez thi jaisa usne kaha tha rough.. wahi de raha tha. Vo sisakti hui apna sar uppar niche karne lagi. Table puri tarah se hil rahi thi aur bich bich mein jab main dhakke aur tezi se marta to uska hath table par fisal jata.

" kahan ka gussa nikal raha hai aaj.. aahh.. "

" tune hi to kaha tha rough.. aaj tujhe itna rough chhodunga ki teri chut se bacha mera hi niklega "

" aukad ... hai teri bache paida karne ki aahahhhh... " jab usne aukad ki baat ki to piche se mene uski chutadon par chamat laga di.

" meri aukad ki baat karti hai.. tujhe kya malum main kis kaam ke liye chuna gaya hun.. " main bhi josh mein use pel raha tha aur isme aseem anand aa raha tha. Vaise bhi hum dono chudai bina baton ke karte hi nahi the.

" acha... tujhe.. kaun chunega... uhmm thoda dhire.e..se... " usne dhire bola to mene aur tez dhakke laga diye.

" Hologram ne chunna hai mujhe.. vo bhi is dunia ke liye " maine jaise hi bola vo meri taraf patli aur mujhe dekh zor-zor se hasne lagi vo jitna hansti mere andar utni hi power badh jati use thokne ki jiski wajah se uski chatiyan table se takrane lagi aur per fisalte hue table se ja chipke jo use chubne lage the. " main.. hi is dunia ko badlunga.... " main hanfte hue zor-zor se dhakke lagane laga aur uski siskiyan chekh mein badal gayi, dard aur plessure dono ki. Uske hath ki ungliyan akadne lagi thi aur jaise uske sharir ne uske ras ko bahar nikal fainka aur kuch tez dhakon ke baad mene bhi apna ras uski chut mein udhel diya jise udhelte hi sharir ko aisa laga jaise atma hi chinn gayi ho. Main hafta hua uske uppar pada tha aur mera thuk uski pith par gir kar jama ho chuka tha.

" hahahaha... " jab mene use subah ki hui ghatna batai to vo zor-zor se hasne lagi. Main kapde pehen kar ek kone par khada uski hansi ko dekh raha tha. Usne kapde pehen liye the aur abhi cigratte jalane mein vyast thi. Cigratte jala kar usne uska kasht funka .. " tu.. aur dunia badlega.. hatt salle.. tu sirf dhande ke liye bana hai.. " usne dusra kasht kincha " chori ka dhanda.. tujhe wahi suit karta hai.. usme dimag laga, ye hologram aur dunia ko badalne ka kaam kisi aur ko karne de.. tere baski nahi hai.. samjha.. " vo mujhe dekh rahi thi aur main use ghur raha tha. Har bar mujhe uske chehre ke nain-naksh bade pyare lagte the, choti ankhein, choti naak, patle gulabi honth.. par is samay vo sab bure lag rahe the. Mene use kuch nahi kaha apna envelope uthaya aur wahan se nikal gaya. Nikalte waqt usne jo kaha vo mujhe ache se sunai diya tha " Agla project jaldi dungi, chori karne ke liye, sala chor " vo hansi mere zehen mein thi aur raat bhar rahi jab tak nind nahi aa gayi.

Socha tha kuch karunga aur kiya bhi wahi roz wala kaam, kuch din beet gaye aur main apne wahi schedule main lag gaya. Bas farak itna tha ki pehle is kaam ko karte hue socha nahi karta tha par ab sochne laga tha. Kaam karte hue bar-bar dhayan Hologram, Uski awaz aur vo folder bas yahi aa raha tha. " shit.. " mene current terminal close kiya aur us folder par gaya jo us din hologram se extract hua tha. Mene use double click karke khola, kuch samay laga use kholne mein shayad bahut bada tha, jab tak vo khula nahi bechaini mein mere per hilte rahe. Folder khulte hi mene dekha us mein kafi sari files thi. Kaun si kholo pehle? Itni sari files hai .. Kaun si kholun.. aur kholun bhi ya nahi... raha to ja nahi raha. Dil zoron se dhadak raha tha, mathe par pasina tha, decision to lena hi tha, abhi tak mujhe kuch hua nahi tha jise saaf tha ki mujhe koi pakadne nahi ane wala tha.

" jo hoga dekha jayega " mene faisla liya aur gaur se screen par dekhne laga jiske baad samajh aya ki ek pattern ke tehat hi sari file us order mein ayi hai jis order mein mujhe unhe open karna hai. Mene pehle us file ko open kiya jo us order ki pehli file thi. File ka naam tha ' Journey ' Double click karte hi file open hui aur usme chuppe content se mera parichay ho gaya. Bas ab kya hona tha, jaise kisi chiz ki latt lagti hai mujhe ab latt lag gayi thi. Pehli se dusri, dusri se tisri aur ye ginti badhti chali gayi. Din raat mein tabdeel hoti to raat din mein, kabhi sota to kabhi khata, ghar se bahar sirf jaruri kaam ke liye nikalta. Pratiksha ka kaam bhi side mein karta lekin kabhi-kabhi, use milna to chhod hi chuka tha, uska kiya hua kaam jab bhi dena hota to use bula kar bahar ke bahar hi pakda deta. Vo mere is behaviour ko dekh kar sochti hogi ki us din usne jo mujhe kaha vo mujhe bura laga lekin vo galat thi, usi ki wajah se to maine thani thi, agar us din vo mujhe niche na girati to main uppar uthta hi kyun. Main ab wahi kar raha tha jo us hologram ne kaha tha, jaise uske instruction the sivai ek chiz ke jo usne mujhe mana kia tha is baat ko kisi ko nahi batane wali baat lekin mene pratiksha ko bata di thi. Par use koi farak nahi pada tha, na hi koi kaam ruk raha tha aur na hi samay. Samay ke anusar sab badalne laga, pehle jo computer use karta tha vo badala, dhire-dhire technology ne samay ke sath itni tariki kar li ki jis kaam mein mujhe ghanto lagte the vo chand samay mein hone laga tha. Ankhon par chasma kab chada malum hi nahi chala, umar usi apartment mein badhti chali gayi aur ek dashak guzar gaya. Par main kahan pahuncha tha abhi tak? Shayad kahin nahi ya fir bahut aage.. Sochna chahta tha lekin soch hume hamesha apne kaam se alag kar deti hai isliye main sirf apne kaam par focus karta raha. Pratiksha se sambhand khatam hue arsa ho gaya tha, usne kayi baar contact karne ki kosish ki par mere pas ab uske liye samay nahi tha. Akhri baar jab baat hui thi tab usne yahi bataya tha ki vo kahin bahar settle ho rahi hai, mene tab bhi uske message ka jawab nahi diya tha. Apne kaam mein itna ulajh gaya tha ki mujhe uske alwa kuch dikha nahi. Jaise-jaise vo file ka sequence aage badh raha tha, mere kaam ka roop badalta jaa raha tha. Ab sirf ghar baithe nahi balki bahar nikal kar kuch kaam karne the. Dusre dashak tak atte atte main ab kahin na kahin pehchan mein tha, internet par article chapne lage the. Mashur hua tha? Pata nahi.. parwah nahi thi kyun ki abhi mera kaam baki tha, jo mujhe karne ke liye bataya gaya tha usme abhi samay lagna tha. Akhri charan bacha tha jiske liye jagah badalni thi. Jis kaam ke liye bahar jaya karta tha ab vo pura ho chuka tha, isliye kaam karne ki jagah bhi badali gayi aur dekhte hi dekhte mene apni zindagi ke teen dashak laga diye, zindagi ke 31 saal jiski shuruwat san 2000 se hui thi aur aaj vo din tha.

25 November, 2031

Apni jagah par baitha samne screen par article padh raha tha ki Dimtri ne mera dhayan toda. Dimtri pichle ath salon se mere sath kaam kar raha tha. Main code ko chhod kar lab ka pura setup Dimtri ke hathon mein tha.

" astonishing tech " article par nazar dalte hue vo bola.

" hmm "

" is hydra-power ki energy se pure world ki electricity ki samsya dur ho jayegi vo bhi bina climate ko nuksan pahunchaye, plant start ho gaya? "

" Ha.. kal hi hua hai "

" Ye idea tumhara tha, is article mein tumhe bhi hona chahie tha, tumne apna idea kisi aur ko diya hi kyun "

" zarurat nahi thi dimtri.. tumhe pata hai mera focus kya hai " chasma utar kar main apni jagah se khada hua " and that dream will soon be completed "

" checking logs? " mene dimtri ki taraf dekha jo system check kar raha tha. Vo kuch der screen par hi dekhta raha, main janta tha ki vo kya kahega.

" logs se to yahi lag raha hai ki " Dimtri ne nazar meri taraf ki.

" its getting finalizing ... " meri nazar samne thi, jahan par ek bahut badi screen lagi hui thi.

" tumne puri raat jaag kar kaam khatam kar diya? " Dimtri hairan tha kyun ki abhi do din ka kaam baki tha jise mene pichli raat aur din laga kar pura kar diya tha.

" Chain ki nind ab sirf tab ayegi jab ye start hogi "

" I guess vo nind aaj raat ko hi mil jayegi.. its asking for the password " dimtri ne bola to mere sharir mein excitment ki lehar daud gayi. " give me the hat " main apni jagah par jaa baitha aur dimtri ne mujhe sar par uski banai hui techonogy se lais ek iron hat pehna di jo direct system se connect thi. Dimtri ke pas sirf ek yahi project tha jisko banane mein use char saal lage the. Mana is Hat ka core deisgn mene hi diya tha lekin Hat bana kar use system se jodne ka kaam usi ne kiya tha.

" ok ... i am initiating.. " dimtri ne itna kaha aur button push kar diya. Button ke dabte hi hat ne mere Brain Waves ko read karna shuru kar diya. Ye wo waqt tha jab mujhe sabse jada relax rehna tha kyun ki password koi word nahi tha balki meri brain activity thi jise code ke through binary form mein dala gaya tha jiske baad hi machine access ho sakti thi.

' Process Completed, Password accepted ' system awaz sunte hi mujhe dimtri ki 'yay' sunai di, uski itne salon ki mehnat jo rang layi thi.

" Ok i am shutting down " usne system band kiya aur mene HAT ko hata liya.

" kitna time lagega " mene faura pucha.

" just about time.. " dimtri ne itna hi kaha aur samne wali screen par dekhne laga jiske sath hi meri nazar us taraf gayi. Mere samne chand hi palon mein vo ane wala tha jiski kalpana mene 31 saal pehle ki bhi nahi thi.

' Helo Humans, I am Binary ' system awaz ke sath screen par flash hote hi mere chehre par khushi ki lehar daud ayi.

" we did it.. " dimtri bhi khushi mein chikha.

" Connect binary to the core system " core system se judte hi Binary ke pas vo power aa jati jo aaj tak kisi machine mein nahi thi. Vo dunia ki har information ko grasp karke ek aisa solo system ban jane wala tha jiske pas sari knowledge hone wali thi, yani ki sabhi mind ka ek mind. Ye process bilkul waisa hi hone wala tha jis tarah hum ek dusre se connect the. Connect hone ke liye binary internet, books, mobile phones ke through humans ke mind ko read karke ek evaluation set kar sakta tha jiski probablity 99.9% correct honi wali thi jo aaj tak hume kisi machine ne nahi di thi.

" on it " dimtri ne binary ko core system se connect kar diya aur screen par processing ane laga.

" now we celebrate " mene dimtri se kaha aur apne room ki taraf badha. Aaj mere 31 salon ki mehnat rang layi thi. Jo kabhi socha aur kiya na gaya ho vo mene karke dikhaya tha. Kamre mein pahunch kar mene apni sabse purani wine nikali jo aaj ke liye hi bacha kar rakhi thi. Abhi room se bahar nikal hi raha tha ki meri nazar kamre ke kone par padi jahan mera wahi computer pada tha jiski wajah se in sabki shuruwat hui thi.

" i was about to call you.. " dimtri ne mujhe dekhte hi kaha. " Binary puri shamta se kaam kar rahi hai, har second finotabyte memory store kar raha hai " uske bolte hi main muskuraya aur hum dono ke liye wine glass mein bharne laga.

" Ye sirf machine nahi hai dimtri, ye future hai.. Ye har bitte second sirf knowledge hi grasp nahi karega balki us knowledge se hi apne aap ko self-grow karega jaisa har ek AI karta hai. Aur jab Binary is process ko complete karegi tab hoga hamare pas hamara future. Jab sabhi mind ek jagah ho to tum jante ho ki koi kya kar sakta hai, Binary sirf universe ke bare mein, naye planets aur unpar pahuchne ke bare mein hi nahi batayega balki hum apni information ko kisi bhi samay mein bhej payenge "

" time travel? "

" Sort of dimtri.. Hum khud ko past mein nahi bhej sakte lekin information ko bhej sakte hain. Binary can send any information to any person at a specific time jo bhi hum decide karenge, socho use kitna faiyda hoga, binary hume kya sahi hai aur kya galat ye bata payegi. Uski knowledge se hui calculation ke basis par hum us information ko apne past mein bhej payenge taki ane wale drought, tsunami's aur har tarah ki activites ko control kiya jaa sake "

" this is brilliant, par this will alter the timeline, i thought Binary information collect karke future ki ek sahi prediction de sakta hai, kya tumne time line ke bare mein nahi socha, agar aisa hua to binary ka existence hi nahi rahega "

" Maybe thats what Binary wants, we are scientists dimtri, we are meant to change the world. And we change this through Binary " main scientist bilkul nahi tha par itne salon mein jo mene kiya uske liye science ki knowledge ki kya jarurat thi bas tarika pata hona chahie aur dimtri jaisa koi intelligent insan ka sath.

" then lets celebrate " hum dono ne wine ke glass apas mein khankhaye aur ek hi ghunt mein pi gaye. " well mene tumse bahut waqt se kuch puchna chahta tha, aaj sahi waqt lag raha hai to puchun ? "

" bilkul "

" how did you even build this place.. " dimtri ka sawal sahi tha koi aur hota to shayad pehle hi puch leta ki mene kaise ek barfile pahad ke niche itni badi jagah ka nirman kiya.

" do you remember 2015.. " mene pucha to dimtri sochne laga " vo saal jisme insano ne ek naya Element khoja tha? "

" Xectra "

" exactly "

" par uska ise kya matlab ? " dimtri sochne laga aur jab use samajh aya to vo hairani mein bola " Xectra tumne khoja tha? " vo ek pal chup hua " becha kisko? "

" china "

" China? are you out of your mind.. you sold it to china.. " dimtri ek dum se baukhlaya " tum jante ho ki vo kitna khatarnak element hai aur ye jante hue bhi tumne china ko bech dia? "

" Janta hun dimtri par tum khud batao itne kam samay mein china ke alawa aisi jagah kaun build kar sakta tha? har vo equipment jiski hume jarurat thi vo koi aur nahi de sakta tha isliye mene unhe becha, to build this future "

" but you know "

" i know how dangerous xectra is, Xectra element kisi bhi material, base aur crust ko bhed sakta hai i know this.. its the most powerful element humans has ever founded "

" and it can be a powerful weapon also " dimtri khush nahi tha.

" oh common dimtri.. aisa kuch nahi hoga.. tumne vo article nahi pada.. China ka.. read it.. jisme unhone Xectra element ke zariye ek aisi laser technology banai hai jo earth ki surkasha karegi " dimtri ne itne mein vo article khol liya jiska main jikar kar raha tha.

" China develops a weapon that can detroy any large asteroid "

" dekha, China can also do good, ab socho agar koi asteroid earth ki taraf aya to hum dinasaurs ki tarah lupt nahi honge " jo dimtri keh raha tha vo main tab hi janta tha ki china ko xectra dena bahut bada risk hai lekin mujhe aisa karna tha kyun ki yahi Hologram ke document mein karne ko kaha gaya tha.

" i can't believe them... but .. " abhi dimtri itna hi bol paya ki puri lab mein andhera cha gaya, electricity chali gayi thi. " power backup kyun nahi chal raha " dimtri ko hairani use jada tab hui jab samne screen par Binary ne apna kaam nahi roka. " How is this working... "

" don't worry.. Binary ko isi tarah ke backup ke liye ready kiya hai. Jis minute se ye start hui usne apne liye electricity reserve karni shuru kar di thi, uske liye seperate power backup rakha hai. Par power back kyun nahi chal raha hai vo check karo and connect our core line with binary, hamare system binary handle kar legi " Dimtri ne bilkul waisa hi kiya aur sirf lab ke system on ho gaye. System on hote hi mene binary se pucha " Binary Power Status " lekin binary ne koi response nahi diya. Main kuch check karta use pehle dimtri chillaya.

" you need to see this.. " usne apni screen se window swipe ki jo mere screen par aa gayi " power outrage.. India, China, Bangladesh, Pakistan, all suffers major electric outrage issue " dimtri ka bheja data screen par visibile tha dhire-dhire kakre part of Asia andhkar mein jaa raha tha aur usi tarah baki continents bhi.

" it must be because of the Hydra-Plant they have started in the Pacific ocean " mene dimtri se kaha " Binary Please Check Electric outrage cause " Binary ne is baar bhi koi response nahi diya. Uske response na dene ki wajah khojta use pehle dimtri fir chilla pada.

" fuck... " agli hi pal dimtri apni jagah se aise kahda hua jaise usne kuch bahut bhayanak dekh liya.

" kya hua ? " mere puchne par usne kuch nahi bola aur apne system par kuch kaam karne laga. Mene dubara pucha " what happen dimtri? "

" Power-outrage, ye hydra-plant ki wajah se nahi hai.. " vo meri taraf dekhte hue bola aur apni screen swipe kar di jo mere system par aa gayi " Binary did this " to dimtri yahi pata laga raha tha jiske baad jo mene dekha vo mujhe bhi vishwas nahi hua

" what nonsense ... how could binary.. and why " main dimtri ki baat sun kar jab system par dekhne laga to mere hosh ud gaye kyun ki binary ne sirf electric outrage hi nahi kiya tha balki usne ab " Binary ne core energy ka access kaise liya "

" core energy ? Ye kya hai " Ek ke baad ek aisi batein aa rahi thi jo dimtri nahi janta tha lekin mera dhayan is baat se jada ispar tha ki akhir Binary ne core energy ko use kaise kiya vo bhi bina meri permission diye bina hi. Sirf ek hi rasta tha janne ke liye aur vo tha binary ke core function mein dekhna. Mene wahi kiya lekin jab jab mein us function ka access karta binary mujhe bahar fenk deta " what the fuck is happening "

" Something is wrong, Binary code change kar raha hai " dimtri ne jaise hi kaha main samajh gaya ki usne khud ko permission kaise di. Vo mere likhe code ko re-write kar raha hai. " this is not being told to me.. " Mene bahut socha lekin aisa koi document tha hi nahi jiski madad se main ye rok sakun.

" vikrant.. " usne mera naam pukara vo bhi itni ghabrahat mein jaise kuch anhoni hui ho. " you need to see this " vo fatti ankhon se mujhe ghurne laga. Agle hi pal meri screen ki tasveer badli jispar chalne laga tha " China ne jo laser weapen asteroid tabha karne ke liye banaya tha usko hum sabhi asman mein dekh sakte hain "

" impact? " mene pucha aur screen par flash hone laga, jise mene do bar dekha kyun ki vishwas nahi ho raha tha " Moon "

" how did they.. even have that kind of power... Hydra " meri ankhein khuli ki khuli reh gayi " dimtri, hydra ki power china ke laser plant par kaise pahunch rahi hai check it now " mene pucha jarur par shayad andar hi andar main is baat ko janta tha.

" Its Binary ... Binary hydra ki sari power china ke laser plant ko de rahi hai and that causes power outrage "

" why binary doing this " mene khud se hi ye sawal kiya.

" With that amount of power given to the laser core, it will "

" destroy the moon.. " main apni jagah se khada hua.

" agar moon destory ho gaya to earth survive nahi kar payegi, uski rotation ki speed badh jayegi, maybe if will drift from its place, rise in earth temperature, weaker sea waves, longer days, it will wipe out every species from the planet. We need to close this fucking machine " dimtri chillaya.

" we can't.... "

" we can't? what are you saying? " dimtri ek pal ke liye chup hua.

" tumhe pata hai maine ye jagah kyun chuni " ek pal chup rehne ke baad main bola " kyun ki yahi ek aisi jagah thi jahan se binary earth ke core ke us hisse tak pahuncha jaa sakta tha jahan se vo direct power access kar sakta hai"

" tumne aisa kiya hi kyun? Earth ke core se energy deni ki kya jarurat thi "

" kyun ki yahi mujhe kaha gaya tha karne ko "

" kisne kaha tha? " vo chup hua, meri aur se jawab na ata dekh vo bola " tum keh rahe ho ki humne ek aisi machine banai jo hume hi khatam kar dena chahti hai? "

" i don't know what to do.. its not been told to me.. " main soch raha tha ki ye ho kaise sakta hai. Sab kuch mene wahi kiya jo mujhse kaha gaya tha. Kahin kuch nahi chhoda koi galti nahi ki to fir kaise.

' IN 30 Seconds - Moon will Explode ' Pehli baar tha jab message Binary ki taraf se aya tha. Jise dekhte hi meri sansein bhari ho gayi. Jab insan ke sath vo ho jaye jo usne socha bhi nahi hota toh sabse jada jhatka use tabhi lagta hai.

" we have to do something vikrant, something to shut down this machine.. koi to fail safe hoga " dimtri ne fir mujhse kaha. Main soch raha tha aur jada soch raha tha aur tabhi mujhe dhayan aya ki mene kuch banaya hai.

" backdoor.... " mene apne terminal par kaam karna shuru kiya " i build this backdoor.. jise main Binary ke kisi bhi function ko directly access karke use badal sakta hun and with that help main uske main function ko band kar dunga..

' 15 seconds ' pehli baar kaam karte hue aisa lag raha tha mano sharir se jaan nikal rahi ho. " no no what the fuck... fuckk... "

" kya hua "

" jab bhi backdoor access kar raha hun, malware mera code delete kar de raha hai "

" Everything Is Binary vikrant... "

" i don't know what to do, its not been told to me.. " mene fir wahi dahuraya aur itne mein Binary ne apni screen badli aur moon ke destory hote hi jo image hamari samne ayi usne dil dehla diya. Hamare aur moon ke bich mein distance ki wajah se koi shor ya koi halchal to nahi hui lekin usko millions of debris mein tabdeel hota dekh dimag sann reh gaya. Moon ke tukde uski debris atmosphere mein felh gaye aur dekhte-dekhte kayi satellite uski chapet mein ati chali gayi jiske sath earth par moon ki debris ki shower shuru ho gayi.

" we have destoryed our home by ourslelf " dimtri hatash hote hue bola " this could be .. " dimtri itna hi bola ki system se ek awaz ayi.

' Alert ' is baar alert dimtri ke system se aya tha ' Object Identified, Approximate size 3 KM ' ye sunte hi dimtri ke sath main samajh gaya ki ab khel khatam. " impact " mene pucha.

' Direct Impact of Origin, Himalayas '

" Ye asteroid to hamari hi taraf aa raha hai... " dimtri ne fauran calculation kari aur screen swipe kar di " adhi se jada satellite destroy hone ki wajah se humne is asteroid ko late pick kiya " par wajah ye nahi thi ki satellite ne late pick kiya balki asli wajah mujhe ab samajh ayi thi.

" ab samajh aya ki binary ne aaj ki hi date kyun chuni... kyun ki aaj moon earth ke sabse jada kareeb hai "

' Impact time 4 minute 35 second ' isi ke sath coundown shuru ho gaya aur hamara dhayan tuta.

" I can't believe this, It could be The Last day for us, but why ... Why binary did this.. " Dimtri ab mujhse nahi khud se hi sawal karne laga.

" Because it saw us... " Mene dimtri ki taraf dekhte hue kaha. " It saw us that who we are.. it saw every hate we put towards this planet.. "

" to iska badla planet destory karke nikal rahi hai ye machine "

" No.. it is taking revenge with us... but i don't understand why it has not been told to me " mene fir khud se wahi sawal kiya.

" Kaun vikrant.. tum kabse same chiz bol rahe ho kaun hai vo jisne tumhe nahi bataya "

" Wahi jiske design se mene Binary ko banaya, wahi documents jisne mujhe Hydra-Power ka idea diya, wahi document jisne mujhe bataya ki Xectra element kahan chupa hai.. "

" main kuch samjha nai... " dimtri kaise samjhta jab main hi ab samjha tha aur jaise hi mene samjha, mujhe khud par vishwas hi nahi hua.

" this could not be our last day dimtri.. this could not be.. " mene sabse pehle ye check kiya ki Binary ne abhi kuch der mein kaun-kaun si information bheji thi " tum jante ho ki Binary informations ko past mein bhej sakta hai aur agar main sahi hun to... oh my god... " Mene dimtri ki taraf dekha, " its the Bimary who send me all the information and that hologram.. "

" main kuch samjha nahi.. " dimtri ko kaise malum hota ki jo bhi mene aaj banaya hai vo mene nahi balki mujhe bheji gayi chizon se bana hai. Mene dimtri ko short mein bataya ki kaise 31 saal pehle ek hologram dwara mujhe information mili aur sab document mile jiske jariye hi main aaj uske sath khada hun. Vo meri baat sun kar sadme mein tha jiska hona lazmi tha.

" mujhe tab samajh nahi aya tha lekin samay ke sath mujhe laga ki for the betterment of this world, mujhe ye information 5th dimension se mili hai lekin ab sab kuch dekh kar samajh aa gaya ki information kisi aur ne nahi balki Binary ne bheji thi "

" lekin usne tumhe vo message mein jo batein boli vo kaise... " dimtri ka sawal sahi tha, hologram ki recording mein jo batein thi vo usne kaise bheja, sochte hue dimag ne turant jawab diya.

" my words.. dimtri.. mene har case study ko record kiya.. and for Binary it is just 0 and 1 ... usne mere hi word alag-alag jagah se jodh kar ek message bana kar mujhe bheja.. " main ek pal ke liye sochta raha

" this is a Time Paradox " samjhte hi mene kaha kyun ki ye ek loop tha jiski shuruwat bhi main hi kar raha tha aur ant bhi.

' Impact in 1 minute ' sound alaram hua tab hum dono soch se bahar aye.

" vikrant you need to break this loop... you need to inform 'you' 31 years back.. we don't have much time left " dimtri sahi tha loop ko todna jaruri tha.

" i need to send the information back to me.. but this time it should be in my words.. " main system ko use karne laga, bas ek message karna tha. Message... ' Dont do it, Its a trap ' mene message form karke send kiya aur Binary ki help se bhejne laga lekin nahi hua.

" kya hua " dimtri ne pucha.

" it does not allow me.. it knows...ki hum uske khilaf message bhej rahe hain "

' Impact in 30 seconds '

" vikrant, we dont have much time left... we have to break this loop now " dimtri bol raha tha aur main kaam kar raha tha aur fir mene wahi kiya jo main pehle karta tha.

" pratiksha sahi thi, main chor hun aur usi ke liye bana hun " mene word ke kuch letter ko badal diya jaise main pehle badal kar snooping karta tha bas wahi kiya. After all for binary it will always be 0 and 1 aur jab use 0 aur 1 ka meaning hi samajh nahi ayega to vo mere message ko rokega nahi uske liye vo message khatra nahi rahega. Mene message send kiya aur mera data process mein chala gaya.

'Impact in 10 seconds '

Meri nazar screen par hi thi aur tabhi message aya, " Message accepted, Sending " bas iske baad itni zor se dharti hili ki meri nazron ke samne tez roshni ki wajah dhundla pan cha gaya.

Main roz ki tarah hi phising kar raha tha tabhi meri nazar screen par jam gayi, kuch samajh pata use pehle screen par ek hologram dekh main ghabra kar piche ho gaya jiske baad usne jo bataya use mere hosh ud gaye.

" Remember, Everything Is Binary "
Harshit sir aspke story par Kya hi kahu...shandar likho ho bilkul...but story padh aisa laga jaise terminater movie ke script ko thoda pher badal karke likha gaya hai...ab usspar Mai Kya likhu...ye Jo subject hai wo kafi uljhano bhara hota hai ,jiske paksh aur vipaksh me tark diye ja sakte hai...Jo bhi ho lekin likha kafi badhiya tarike se gaya hai...aur sabse maje ki baat ye hai ki agar aap aalochana Karne Jaye ho to aisa lagega jaise khud se jod rahe ho bate ...so ek story ko aisa Roop Dena ye darshata hai ki story me ek bhi loop hole nhi chhoda hai....nice story & storyline...
 

Mahi Maurya

Dil Se Dil Tak
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कहानी- पुरवा और गीता।
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बहुत ही बेहतरीन रचना।।

बचपन बहुत ही नटखट होता है और अगर घर में बड़े बुजुर्ग हों तो बचपन और भी सुहावना हो जाता है। क्योंकि उनसे तरह तरह की ज्ञानवर्धक और प्रेरणादाई कहानियां सुनने को मिलती हैं। रानी और राजा दोनों नटखट बच्चे हैं जो अपनी नानी से कहानियां सुनने के लिए जाते हैं।। नानी उन्हें फुलवा की कहानी सुनाती है।।

पुराने जमाने मे ठाकुरों का बोलबाला था। उस समय ठाकुरों के साथ कोई अनहोनी होती थी तो पूरा शहर जल उठता था। प्रशाशन में अफरा तफरी मच जाती थी। यहां पर भी 3 ठाकुरों की हत्या हुई है वो भी होटल के कमरे में, जिसे सुलझाने के लिए ऊपर से पुलिस पर दबाव बनाया जा रहा है। उसी होटल से शहर के जाने माने व्यवसायी रंजीत की बेटी भी गंभीर हालत में पुलिस को मिली जिसके साथ बलात्कार हुआ है।।

गांव के कुछ लोगों ने फुलवा और उसका परिवार को मार डाला था। गंभीर हालत में गीता भी अस्पताल में भर्ती हुई थी जिसमे फुलवा की आत्मा गीता में समा गई। किरण ने बहुत ही सूझबूझ से ये मामला सुलझाया।।

कहानी वाकई में बहुत अच्छी है। सस्पेन्स और थ्रिल का शानदार मिश्रण है। लेकिन कुछ सवाल ऐसे है जिनका जवाब नहीं मिला।।

कहानी नानी सुना रही हैं बच्चों को वो भी रात में वो भी डरावनी। उन्होंने बच्चों को डरा दिया।
कहानी की शुरुआत हुई थी 3 ठाकुरों की हत्या से। लेकिन कहानी दिखाई गई है 20 दिन बाद कि जब गीता गंभीर हालत में अस्पताल में भर्ती कराई गई। एक बात समझ मे नहीं आती कि अगर गीता वर्तमान में अस्पताल में भर्ती हुई थी तो यकीनन उसने हत्या उसी रात को या एक दिन पहले की थी तो फिर किरण उस हत्याकांड की तफ्तीश 20 दिन पहले से कैसे कर सकती है।।
 

SultanTipu40

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कहानी- पुरवा और गीता।
रचनाकार- SultanTipu40 महोदय

बहुत ही बेहतरीन रचना।।

बचपन बहुत ही नटखट होता है और अगर घर में बड़े बुजुर्ग हों तो बचपन और भी सुहावना हो जाता है। क्योंकि उनसे तरह तरह की ज्ञानवर्धक और प्रेरणादाई कहानियां सुनने को मिलती हैं। रानी और राजा दोनों नटखट बच्चे हैं जो अपनी नानी से कहानियां सुनने के लिए जाते हैं।। नानी उन्हें फुलवा की कहानी सुनाती है।।

पुराने जमाने मे ठाकुरों का बोलबाला था। उस समय ठाकुरों के साथ कोई अनहोनी होती थी तो पूरा शहर जल उठता था। प्रशाशन में अफरा तफरी मच जाती थी। यहां पर भी 3 ठाकुरों की हत्या हुई है वो भी होटल के कमरे में, जिसे सुलझाने के लिए ऊपर से पुलिस पर दबाव बनाया जा रहा है। उसी होटल से शहर के जाने माने व्यवसायी रंजीत की बेटी भी गंभीर हालत में पुलिस को मिली जिसके साथ बलात्कार हुआ है।।

गांव के कुछ लोगों ने फुलवा और उसका परिवार को मार डाला था। गंभीर हालत में गीता भी अस्पताल में भर्ती हुई थी जिसमे फुलवा की आत्मा गीता में समा गई। किरण ने बहुत ही सूझबूझ से ये मामला सुलझाया।।


कहानी वाकई में बहुत अच्छी है। सस्पेन्स और थ्रिल का शानदार मिश्रण है। लेकिन कुछ सवाल ऐसे है जिनका जवाब नहीं मिला।।

कहानी नानी सुना रही हैं बच्चों को वो भी रात में वो भी डरावनी। उन्होंने बच्चों को डरा दिया। कहानी की शुरुआत हुई थी 3 ठाकुरों की हत्या से। लेकिन कहानी दिखाई गई है 20 दिन बाद कि जब गीता गंभीर हालत में अस्पताल में भर्ती कराई गई। एक बात समझ मे नहीं आती कि अगर गीता वर्तमान में अस्पताल में भर्ती हुई थी तो यकीनन उसने हत्या उसी रात को या एक दिन पहले की थी तो फिर किरण उस हत्याकांड की तफ्तीश 20 दिन पहले से कैसे कर सकती है।।
Thanks mahi ji

Uska afsos ho raha hai ki bachhon ko shamil kiya aap ko bhi sorry bolta huin... khair jo hona tha wah to ho chuka hai

Kahani teen thakur ke maut se hi suru hua .... tabhi kiran ko sp ne bolaya ..... our tabhi se kiran us khuni ki talash kar rahi thi

Magar 20 din baad geeta ne dusra khun kiya jo usme geeta khud bhi jakhmi ho gayi thi our phir wah hospital main bharti hui thi

kiran un 20 dono main hi geeta se mili our purwa ke gaaon tak gayi thi kiran abhi khuni ki talash kar hi rahi thi ke ye dusra bhi khub ho gaya sayad maine ek jagah do ki jagah 3 likh diya is liye sayad aap ko 3 khun hua hai laga hoga magar khun 3 nahi 5 hua hai

3 khun 20 din pahle hua hai

our 2 khun 20 din baad jab geeta hospital main bharti hui thi
 

Aagasthya

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Ladki ki hight kuchh jyada hi ho gayi hai...
Aur train me chitra ka Milana aur uska apna sab kuchh batana ye darshata hai ki wo ladki first sight love me chali gayi..khair exam center par aakar uska admit card dekar Jana hero ( name bhi mention nhi hai😔) attraction ( pyar) ko aur bada Diya...ladke ne har social media par usse khoja but kahi nhi mili...lekin note par mil gaya...lekin wo note iske pass jab aayi🤔..yaha Tak to story sahi ja rhi thi but wo truck accident m.s dhoni movie ki yaad dila di...Jo ki ek achchha ending nhi kaha ja sakta...aisa laga jaise last me aake aapka apne story se niyantran se Jane laga to ek jaldibaji me ending de Diya.. story ki shayari mujhe bahut pasand aaya...Mai chahuga ki ju ek aur story contest ke likho ...aur ending sahi karna ...aur shayari ko sahi time me dalana ..bahut jagah anawashayak laga...
Nice story...I love this with some amended...
Apni khud ki height 5.11 h.. :roll3:
Too uskaa soch ke thoda bahut calculate kr rakh diya.. :shy:
Khair aap bilkul sahi ho..story kaa end thoda jaldbaazi me kr diya... :p:
Dekhte h agar time aur plot Mila too chaap denge ek aur..
Thanks.. :hug:
 

Werewolf

ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴇ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀ ᴍʏ ɢᴇɴᴊᴜᴛꜱᴜ
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"Everything is binary" by harshit1890

Boht hi badhiya creation. Marvelous! :applause:
Story was based on sci-fi. Fantasy bolne ki zaroorat nahi because it is obvious. Saath hi time travel bhi dekhne ko mila which I personally was not expecting.

Writer ne yaha first person perspective se iski rachna ki hai which according to me fits the story very well. Aur uska udaahran pehle hi para me dekhne ko mil gaya. 1st PP se kese Vikrant ne apne aap ko introduce kiya, by illustrating his phishing skills. Writer created an environment there to prevent the readers from skipping the story. Aur waqai, wesa hi hua.

Kaafi saari cheeze dekhne ko mili story me. Phishing, time travel, loop, future, machines and what not. Iss 7k words ki limit me kayi saare concepts induce kiye writer ne. For that :applause:

Sabse khaas baat jo thi wo thi small details about Vikrant's behaviour. Uska hologram ko dekhne ke baad wo susu karna jo ki tension ke maare badhte pressure se hua, perro ko tension me hilaana jab wo folder khul raha tha, hologram aate hi panic hote hue sabse pehle cpu ki cable kheechne ke baare me sochna, etc. These small details showed ki ek aam insaan inn sthithiyo me kese react karta aur kese karna chahiye. This was done to make readers attached to the protagonist. Good work!

Ab baat karte hai story ke plot ki. Mene time loop, time paradox ye sabhi kuch light novels me padh chuka hai. Still, this was something new because of the only one thing. Binary! Machine ka involve hona aur humans ko khud ke kaam ke liye instructions dete jaana. That alone can be scary and we saw how it went in the story.

Still, there were many questions which were left answered. But hey, sometimes it's good to leave some questions answered. :D
What was Binary exactly? How was Binary able to send information into the past? Why Binary wanted to Destroy Earth? How the heck Vikrant learned all those skills? Wasn't that a helmet instead of Hat? If China helped Vikrant to make that Lab, why wasn't there any govt. interference from Vikrant's country? And many more.

These were some questions which were left unanswered which I understand. Word limit! :D

Ek baat mujhe jo odd lagi wo tha sex scene.I know writer wanted to put as much as he can but sometimes not all the things are necessary. :smile2:
Girl was in a hurry, Vikrant was disturbed by Hologram's voice and then too they did it. Toh woh thoda off laga mujhe. Wahi words thoda aur thrill ke liye use kare jaa sakte the. Because the girl wasn't too important in the first place.

Ab baat karte hai phishing ki. I'm assuming ki Vikrant India se belong karta hai kyuki writers ne kayi hints dii hai subconsciously ya intentionally. Power outage ke waqt, sabse pehle unn countries me India ka naam likhna. Impact Himalayas me hona. Vikrant, ek Hindi naam hona. The girl too. Ye sab ek hi baat bataata hai ki Vikrant India me tha aur shayad Indian bhi.

Haan! Ab baat aayi wahi Phishing ki. Toh phishing was first found in 1995. But wider range me logo ko iske baare me 2000 me pata chala tha. Love bug ke aane ke baad. Aur yaha Vikrant 2000 aur uss se pehle se hi phishing karta aa raha tha? Not to mention he was in India. Ye thoda sa out of expectation tha. Just the year. Nothing else. Still, I will ignore that. :D

Critique ke taur par yahi kahunga ki, some grammatical errors, misplaced punctuations aur ek jagah incorrect tense ke alaawa mujhe koi bhi fault nazar nahi aaya. :good: Very good!
Shayad writer ne proofread nahi kiya post karne se pehle. Aur kaafi rush me post kii gayi thi lagta hai.

But at the end, this is a phenomenal work! :good:

P.S ~ Mene wo date ka pata nahi kiya hai. :D: Jis din moon Destroy hota hai. Shayad writer ne already check kar ke daali hai. Uss din shayad waqai moon earth ke close rahega? Or maybe it was random. I don't know. Remember! Some questions are left answered. :D
 
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