★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2021 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

[Naina]

Story - "वापसी की कीमत"
Writer - TheBlackBlood
​

kahani - - kahani ek aise ladke ki jo waqt ke sath sath galat sangat ke chalte bigadta chala gaya, yahan tak ki ghar chhod ke chala gaya... na Tamil, na hi kiske liye samman...uske liye to bas uske wo dost hi behtar the na ki uske maa baap . lekin waqt ne aisi karwat badli ki usko wapas ghar lautna pada...uske pita ji ki maut ne ushe ehsaas dilwa diya ki usne kya kiya ab tak...uske baad ek achha aur jimmedar insaan banne ki raah pe chal para... lekin is wapas lautne ki Kimat bahot badi chukani padi usko.. apne pita ko khoke...

aate hai sameeksha par - - kahani mein kuch mudde jis tarike writer sahab ne ullekh ki hai wo sach mein ek karvi sachhai ke sath sath ek sikh bhi de jaati hai.... Kaise galat sangat mein padkar log kaise bigad jaate hai.... jaise is kahani ka nayak vijay... waise past mein usne jo kiya, shayad nayak kehlane ki layak nahi ..
usne kabhi apno ka ahmiyat nahi samjha... uske liye bas wo dost achhe the jo ushe galat raah pe chalne ke liye ukshate the....
Ek Ladki jisne dil o jaan se vijay ko chaahti thi ushi par gandi nazar se dekhta wo...
ek kabhi thik na hone wali bimari ke chalte uske pita ji har pal maut ki aurr jaa rahe the lekin apne jidd aur ahankar ke chalte ek baar bhi apne pita ji ko dekhne nahi aaya.. khayal rakhna to dur ki baat hai...
wo to apni maa ko bhi milne nahi aaya... jo sabse anmol hai...
lekin jab ushe pachtawa hua, jab wo wapas lauta ghar ek aisi bhaari kimat dekar .. jo ajivan ushe dard deta rahega, ushe kosta rahega chaahe jitna bahari roop se khush ho le, lekin andar hi andar is dard ajivan ushe sahna hi hoga....

pasandida kirdaar aur kyun?

vibha.....
Kyunki maafi maangna badi baat hai, lekin usse bhi badi baat maaf kar dena.... vibha ne itna kuch sehne ki baad ant mein vijay ko maaf kiya..vijay ne itna kuch kaha aur karne ki koshish ki uske sath, phir bhi maaf kar diya ushe... sach mein saraahane yogya hai....

kya kirdaar aapko vastavik lage?

Haan bilkul.... kyunki galat sangat mein padkar jaane kitne log kaise bigad jaate hai... jiske chalte maata pita ko kya kya dukh jhenle padta hai, khaskar Sharab pike kaise ghar aake jhagda karte hai ye samaj ke kayi jagaho pe aapko dekhne ko mil jayenge ...

kahani padhke koi anuman ya koi sandesh chupi hai kahani mein..?

Haan bilkul... waise kayi anuman hai ya kayi sandesh hai is kahani pe... lekin khas do sandesh to yahi hai ki apno ko ahmiyat dijiye aur apne mata pita ki baatein suniye aur maaniye aur jitna ho sake galat log ki sangat se dur rahiye... aur ek aham baat yeh ki samay rehte apne bachho ko sambhaal lena chahiye.... kyunki ye jag jahir hai ki zyada lad pyar sabko bigad deta hai even bachho ko bhi...kyunki unka mann Kora kagaz hota hai...rok tok pehle hi nahi kiye gaye to galat dosto ke sang pad bigad ne mein zyada waqt nahi lagta . . writer sahab ne kahani jariye in muddo ko hamare samaks rakhne ki chesta ki hai.. jisme wo kamyab rahe..


kahani ka sabse pasandida bhag aur kyun?

jab vijay sudhar gaya....jab apne kiye par pachtawa hua.. jab ghar aur apni maa aur vibha ki saari jimmedari utha liya usne...
aur uske pita ji ka wo khat.. usme kuch aisi baatein thi jo dil ko chu jaaye...

Kuch vishesh prakar ke drishya likhe gaye the... udaharan ke liye koi dukhad ya tanavpurn drishya?

sukh dukh to jivan ki tarah kahani mein sabse important do pehlu hote hai...
well sabse dukhad drisya jab vijay ke pita ji ka dehant hua aur sabse tanavpurn drishya jab wo ghar chhod ke chala gaya aur ek palat kar bhi nahi dekha 5 saal tak..

Kya kahani ne ant tak jure rahne ke liye majboor kiya...?

Ji shat pratishat.... naye readers se yahi request se yehin request hai ki ek baar jarur padhe kahani ko... kaafi dilchasp ke sath sath kuch sikh bhi de jaaye ye kahani... aur ek baar agar kahani padhe to ant tak padh kar hi dum lenge... kyunki kahani mein hai hi itne interesting points...

Kahani ko leke kuch mann ki baatein - - kahani ki har baat, har pehlu aur mod perfect the.... is mein koi do ray nahi....

ant mein kuch shadb writer sahab ke liye - - Kahani mein kayi mod aaye joh kahani ko dilchaspi banaye rakhi ... ek achhe writer ke gun, lakshan yeh ki kahani ki jariye, kahani ke kirdaaro ke jariye kahani ke naam ko sarthak kar de.... jisme aap pure tarike se kamyab rahe...
Har ek pehlu ko aapne dhyan dete huye kahani ko aage badha rahe the ..
jindagi ki karvi sachhai ko realize kar dene wale drisya , dard , ek sikh ke sath sath heavy emotions ka bhi anokhi sangam hai kahani mein ... ... kahani ki ghatana karm aise ki aankho ke samne hi ghat rahi ho... aur kirdaar... jo kahani mein jahan bhi jarurat padi wahan apni bhumika sathik roop se nibha rahe the kahani ki har ek pehlu mein....

yeh bhi ek sach hai ki aapki is kahani mein har ek kirdaar ki mahattva purn hai.. I mean to say ek kirdaar bhi hata diya jaye toh kahani adhuri hai...aur aap har Kirdaar ke sath justify karte hai...
Baaki aapki yeh kahani ab meri favorites kahaniyo mein se ek ho gayi hai....
aise hi aage bhi likhte rahiye aur humari manoranjan karte rahiye

Brilliant update with awesome writing skills TheBlackBlood ji

 

[SANJU ( V. R. )]

Thank you for your lovely comments friends.
DARK WOLFKING , Moon Light , Destiny , TheBlackBlood , manikmittalme07 , Mahi Maurya & Naina ji.
Bahut bahut dhanyawad.

 

[Rudrathakur]

DOCOMO I LOVE YOU

Spoiler

Bachhe ki kilkari sunte hi mishra ji khushi se daude hue andar aate hai...
"Bhaiya konsa dudh laye..."
"Chacha babu ka naam kya rkhege..."
"Amul...."mishara je ke muh se nikla

"Yeh...babu ka naam amul..."wo bachhi bhagi hui andar jaati hai..

"Are...mai dudh ka naam bta rha tha..."
Is trh anjane me namkaran hua hmare hero ka...
Mr. amul...dhire dhire bde hone lge....

Jb 14 saal ke the...to khelte time unhe ek kutte ne kaat liya.....

Ufff...14injection lge...or jb jb injection lge tb tb unke muh se sharap nikla...us kutte ke lie......
Usdin ke bad...amul ji ke sbe bda dushman kuttna bn gya.....kutto ko jaha bhi dekhte...uska maatha ghum jaata ....


Amul ji ko ek ldki se pyar hua......or family se baat krke...shadi pkki ho gyi...
Ab yha inke sath...kismat ne bda ganda mjak kiya..dahej me furniture ke sath...ek kutta bhi aaya...
Kutta...kutta kon deta hai dahej me...
....man maskodkr bethe rhe..


Surahgraat...
Inki wife...snagita....ghunghat kie hue bethi hui thi... pas me table pr rkha tha dudh ka bhra hua glass...
Jaise hi amul ji kamre me aate hai...unki wife sharmane lgti hai...
Or dudh ka glas aage kr deti hai...

Amul-dudh....nhi....pedigree...pedigree kaha hai...
Sangita hairani se-kyaa....pedigree...
Amul-mere lie dudh ..or us tumhare dusre pti ke lie kya...
Sagita-kya bol rhe ho ....

Amul-wo kutta...
Sangita gusse me -excuse me...his name is docomo....and plss he is myy brother...

Amul -whatt....tumne btaya kyu nhi tha ki....tumhara chhota bhai insan nhi kutta hai.....mene ek baar baat ki thi...tb to insan ki trh bolta tha...
Sangita-amul...i mean he is like my brother....wo chhota tha tbse wo mere sath hai.....
Amul-pahle kyu nhi btaya?


Sangeeta-its not that big matter...
Amul-comon yar...1sal se hm relationship me the...tumne btaya nhi ki tumhare ghar me kutta bhi hai...
Sangita-have u got mad....ab isme btane wala kya h?

Amul- I Hate dogs...i really hate...i cant tollarate dogs...
Sangeeta-to tumne kyu nhi btaya ki you hate dogs...
Amul-matlb mai tumse ye sb btata...isme btane wala kya hai..
Sangeeta-exectly......

Amul-agr btata to?
Sangeeta-what...mai tumhe sb kuch btatai ki mai isko lekar aaungi...
Amul-or agr mai agry nhi hota to?

Sangeeta-than...mai tumhe bhul jaati...
Ye baat amul ke dil pr lg gyi...or amul bina kuch kahe apna tkiya uthake soffe pr let jaata hai...



Next day...
Amul sangeeta ke room me aata hai...
Amul-hey...m soryy for what i did last night...i thoungt whole night...ki mai tumse kitna pyar krta tha...kitne khush the hm ki hmari shadi ke lie ghar wale man gye or ab....soryy yr...

Sangeta-no ,i m soryy..mujhe esa nhi bolna chahie tha...i realised...prr mai kya kru...wo chhota sa tha...jb mujhe sadak prr ghayal mila...mai use ghar layi...marham patti ki...he is very closed to me...khana bhi mai khilaaati hu use....to mai kaise use chhod skti hu..

Amul -yes...its alright...dont wory...and i love you..

Sangeeta-i love you too....m soryy i spoiled last night...
Amul sangeeta ko hug krta hua-its okk baby...suhagraat to ab roj hogi...hehehe...
Dono hasne lgte hai...

Ye compromise amul ke lie asan nhi tha...lekin wo sangeeta se bepanah pyar krta tha...uski ankho me ek bhi tapka aasu ka nhi dekh skta tha...bs islie use ye sb accept krna pda..

sangeeta anjane me hi sahi...amul ke andar ki aag ko or jaada bhdka rhi thi...

Wo sbse pahle khana docomo ko deti thi
Amul betha bs jalta rahta tha...mahange manhange shampoo se nahalaati...uske lie achha chhota bed bnaya gya tha....jispr wo araam se sota tha....

Docmo ke lie sangeeta ka pyar amul ko achha nhi lgta tha lekin sangeeta ko khush dekhkar use achha lgta lgta tha...

Ek din amul office se aaya to dekha sangeeta gali ke kutto ko khana khila rhi hai...
Amul-sangeeta...ab gali ke kutte bhi..?
Sangeeta-amul...so what yrr....hai wo bhi bechare jeev hi na..
Amul-yrr docomo hai na...usi ko khilao...aise sb kutto ko khilaogi to...ese kese chalega....we are middle class family dear....
Sangeeta-bacha hua khialay hai...kyu itna overreact krte ho...
Amul-kya tumne kabhi 14injection lgawaye hai...

Sangeeta bairani se-nahi to....
Amul-lgwa leti...aaj tum bhi react krti...or tumhe wo react over nhi lgta..or ha...mere papa ki maut bhi pagal kutte ke kaatne se hui thi..amul bolkr andar chala jaata hai....

10mhine bad...amul ki wife ki delivery hone wali thi...sb bahut khush the....


Doc-mr amul....bahut jada complications aarhe hai...i think baby is not safe ..
Amul or family ko tension ho jaati hai...
Doc or bhi doctors ke sath andar jaate hai....
Karib 1ghante bad...
Doc-soryy...we cant save her...
Amul ki life me ekdm ,ek hi pal me andhera sa chhal gya tha...
Doc-baby or mom dono hi....


Amul ki ankhe me aansu nhi the...kyuki use ummid nhi thi...ki uski wife use ese chhod jayegi...
Amul andar jaate hai...or sangeeta ko pakadkr bahut rota hai...



Doc rote hue amul ko ek kagaj deta hai .
"Ye inki bed ke paas tha..inhone likha tha.."

Amul us kagaj ko padhta hai...
"Amul...plss take care of docomo..."
Amul ko ajeeb lgta hai...jaha amul ka nam hona chahiye tha...wha kutta ka nam...
Antim sanskar ke samay
Docomo bhi wahi betha tha...shaayd uski ankho me aansu the...pr ek bejuban ka drd kon smjh skta hai....

Dhire dhre amul ki life normal hone lge ..lekin wo roj sone se pahle...snageeta ko yaad krta tha ...

Sangeeta ki kahi hui baat bhi usko yaad thi...wo docomo ka khyal rkhta tha...jese khana dena...etc...lekin...insano ki ek fitrat hoti hai...vaado ko...kuch time bad bhul jaate hai...yhi amul ke sath hua.....

Amul ne shahar jaakr rhne ka decide kiya...or whi ek dursi job dekhli.....docomo ko bhi sath le gya....
Lekin ab docomo ki life bahut change ho gyi thi...use sone ke lie koi bed nhi milta tha...bs ese hi...kisi bhi kone me so jaata .....amul khana deta to kha leta...wrna ese hi betha rahta.....

Amul kabhi kabhi office late hota to kai bar docomo ko khana dena bhul jaata tha...fr sham me hi docomo khana khata tha...amul roj use flat me band krke jaata tha...ki kahi sadak pr na chala jaye or kisi gaadi ke niche na aa jaye...


Amul apne office me sbse jaada replspected employee the...wo apna har kaam prfection ke sath krte the...islie unke upr responsibility bhi jaada thi...jimmedari jaada to pressure jaada...islie boss ki daant bhi pdti rahti thi...

Ek din amul office se ghar jaa rha tha...
Highway na lekar usne short cut liya...
Shahar ke chhote road pr chale jaa rha tha...achank same ek tent dikha diya lga hua...
Shayad kisi jaagran ki taiyari chal rhi thi...

Sbhi side se nikalkr jaa rhe the...
Amul ne bhi bike ko side se nikalne ki sochi...lekin jab us tent ka last hua...achank samne ek kutta aagya...
Ab nikalne ka rasta tha nhi itna jaada...

Amul-bhai sahab..kahe to mai pichhe hat jau....nhi...mtlb ap to ek bdi shaksiyat hai...ap pichhe hatenge to apka apman ho jayega......

Kutta udhar udhr dekhe jaa rha tha...
Amul-hello bhaisahab apse baat kr rha hu...kya idhar udhar dekhe jaa rhe hai...hmari kuch ijjt hai ki nhi...hm baat kr rhe hai...hmse bat kijiye na...apko pta hai...apka ek bhai...shayd kumbh ke mele me kho gya hoga...mere pas hai...uska nam hai...docomo....are kya puchhege jnab...unke thaath hi alg hai...ye alm hai bhaisaba ka...ki laterine bhi kare to saaf mujhe krni pdti hai.....khair chhodiye use...ap btaite kya haal chaal hai,mr. gali ke kute...?

Amul ko hasne ki awaj aati hai...
Amul-kis typ ke kutte ho yar...haste bhi ho..
Fir se amul ko awaj ati hai...
Amul samjh jaata hai ki pichhe side me koi hai...amul dekhta hai to 2ldkiya khadi thi...

Ladki-bhaiya bade ghut ghutkr baat kr rhe ho bhaisahab se...
Amul-ji bhabhi ji....
Ldki gusse me-whatt...ye kya btmeeji hai...
Amul-plss ap bura mt maniye...mai thik kah rha hu....dharti pr sbse jada lucky kutta hi hai...jindagi sawarni hai to shadi krlo usse ...

Amul bolkr gaadi start krta hai...or wha se nikal jaata hai....

Amul ghar pahuchta hai-jaise hi gate kholta hai...docomo use dkehkar bhokne lgta hai..
Amul-sale...jis thaali me khata hai use chhed krta hai...maalik hu teta...mujhpr bhokega ...beshrm nalayak.....
Amul bolkr andar chala jaata hai...bag rkhta hai...kapde change krta hai...
Kutta samne hi betha tha...

Amul-ohho...prabhu...
Amul farsh pr letkar uske samne hath jod leta hai...
Amul-prabhu...jaise hi gate kholta hu...apke darshan......meri jindagi ban jaati hai..

Amul khada hota hai...or guse me-sale notanki...ab mere sr pr kyu betha hai...bhag yha se...
Docomo amul ki dant sunkr bhaag jaata hai.....

Amul ka ek dost...amit....uske paas aata hai...
Amit-hey amul...aaja pite hai aaj...
Amul-really...chal...
Amul or amit upr chhat pr chale jaate hai.....
Or ek ek bag bna lete hai....
"Cheers..."dono ke glass apas me takrate hai.....
Or dono ek lambi si ghut bharte hai..

Amul-ye kis khushi me...
Amit-biwi mayke gyi hai yr...yhi to mauka hai...
Amul-ye glt baat hai yrr...jo biwi ko psnd nhi...wo biwi ke pichhe bhi nhi krna chahiye...this is cheating..

Amit-or jo biwi ko pasand ho...
Amul-wo hmesha krna chahiye...chahe biwi sath ho ya na...i m missing my wife yrr...

Amit-hey amul...ye tera kutta kaise upr aagya...

Amul-..kash bnane wale ne mujhe kutta bnaya hota...arz kiya hai...
"Wah wah....waha wah.."amit daad deta hua bolta hai...

Amul-kash bnane wale ne mujhe kutta bnaya hota...ek ldki ke pichhe nhi bhaagta...10kutiyao ko ptaya hota...
"Hahahahaah..."amit hasne lgta hai...

Amit-yrr...mene hmesha dekha hai....tu kutto se itna jalta hu kyu hai.....lekin fir bhi tune kutta pala hai..
Amul nashe me-abe...ye ek dard bhari daastsn hai...tu sunega ...to ro pdega...
Amit-Achha btaa...
Amul kuch jaada nshe me ho chuka tha...
Amul-ek salim tha...ek anarkali thi....anarkali ko mene paal liya...salim sadko pr pda mila...

Amit hairani se-salim araarkali...kya bol rha hai bhai...
Amul-ohh soryy...wo thoda emotional hokr...itihaas ki aur chal nikla...m really soryyy...

Amul docomo ki taraf hath jodta hua-mujhe maaf kijiye jaillelaahi shanhanshah jallaluddin akhabar...
Amit-are..yr...tujhe jaada chadh gyi...tu bta kya rha tha...orr

Amul-ohh...haa yaad aaya...wo hua yu ki...meri biwi...sangeeta...bahut pyar krta tha usse...wo dahej me kutta le aayi yr...or mrte mrte iska dhyan rkhne ko kah gyi....

Amit-achha...or kutto se nfrt...
Amul-beta 14injection lgwaiyo kbhi...smjh jayega....
Amit-ye galt hai yr...
Amul-achha ktwau docomo se...docomo ushh...


Amit drta hua-nhi nhi...wo mai to...
Amit-bhai sahab...jb se ye kutta aaya hai na...meri life ekdm bkwas ho gyi hai.....sala mujhse compition krta hai.....
Amit-ye behjuban hai yr....kitne to pyare hote hai ye ...
Amul-ja le ja...rakhnle apne ghr me...

In office
"Amul....Sun tv me interview ke lie jaana tha...hmari company ki bdhti growth ,ab log interview ke lie to aayenge hi....to mai chahta hu...as a company representative...tum wha jao..."

Amul-sir...mai...lekin mai to...
"Why not...you deserve it...hmari company ki growth me tumhare unique ideas ka bahut bda yogdan hai...so you go there......"..

Amul-okk sir...as you wish...kab jaana hai...
"Aaj 2bje...but remember...dont tell them about our sucess mantra...ujha dena kuch or baato me..."
Amul-okay sir...sure...i'll go....


2.15pm

"Hello guys....i am sonali...welcome you to the our superhit interview show....jisme hm desh ke neta,abhineta ya kisi bhi icon ka interview lete hai...aj hmare guest hai mr Amul...jaane maani company unisec ke best emoloyee...mr amul ke unique ideas...or unki mehnat se hi unki company aaj bahut bde mukaam pr hai....."...


Sonali-your most welcome mr Amul...sir...shuru krte hai...apke nam se ...apka naam bda unique hai....
Amul-mere dog ka mujhse bhi unique hai..

"Hahahaha...hm jante hai mr amul,ap bahut hi khushmijaj or hajirjavabi insan hai...wese kya naam hai apke dog ka..
Amul-docomo...
"Wowww intesting...anyway...apke naam ke piche koi logic..."

"logic nhi...maharbani...amul company ki...agr wo apni kampany ka nam amul na rkhkr docomo rkhte ..to shayad mere nam docomo hota...mera dog ka nhi.. "

"wo kasie..."
Amul apne nam rkhne ki dastan vistar se sunata h

"Hahaha...bahur khub...very inreesting...so...apki family ke bare me..."
"meri family gao me rahti hai...meri biwi last yr....she is expired...docomo usi ka hai..."

"Ohh m so sroryy.."
"its all right..."

"so...ap btayege...apki compnay ne itni teji se growth kese kr liya."

"well...staff member ki mehnt .."

"hmne suna hai ki...apke unique ideas ki vjh se....apki company high level pr hai aj..."

"no mam...ye baat...sb bolte hai but...itna bda kaam koi bhi akela admi nhi kr skta...its all about teamwork.....but normally jo company nhi krti...wo hmne kiya..."

"Esa kya kiya sir..."
"marksism...........bs wohi apnaya...."

"Marksism.....prr wo to hmesha chhote workrs ke paskh me rhte the...to..i mean plss highlight it..."

"apne sahi smjha....labor...actually yhi hmari company ke pillers hote hai...kahne ko chahe koi kuch bhi kahe...books me kuch bhi likha hai..lekin...ye mera manna hai...ki hm workekrs ko khush rkhege...to wo khushi se kaam krege...junoon se imadari se...or kaam jada krege...production jaada...to profit jaada ."

"woow...mjduro ko apne kaise smjha...i mena kya kiya unke lie..."

"ek din comonay ki growth ko lekar swal hua to mene bs itna kaha...ki company ki growth chahte hai to chhote worrker ko happy rkho...wo khushi se kaam nhi krte......khush hokar kaam krege to achhe se kam krege....unse bate kre,koi bhedbhav na kre.."

"fir..."

"fir kya...chhote worker se hm sb pyar se pesh aane lge...safai krne wale ko har roj jo bhi milta wo unhe thanks kahta....ho ske to gale se lgate...achhe se unse baate krne lge...isse company me mahol bhi achha rahne lga ...company ke chhote workers se bde log interect hone lge.....jo log chhote workes se achhe se bate nhi krte...use fine bhrna pdta....pr mai chahta tha ki log mjburi me nhi...khushi se chhote workers se bat kare..."

"sounds nice...to isse ka fark pda..."


"company ke kuch chhot workers chori bhi krte the...ab chori to krege hi jb wo milne wali salerry se satisfy nhi...lekin jb sb ek dusre se pyar se bate krne lge...to wha chori honi bhi band ho gyi...company ko fund ki jrurt thi...mass production ke lie...tb hmare chhote workers hi samne aaye...sbne contribute kiya...or ek mahine ki sellery bhi chhod di....copmany ko 5times jaada profit hua....un worrkes ne company ka jo last time me sath diya...uski vjh se hmari company top pr hai...bs uske bad se...hmari company uchaiya chhuuti gyi... "

"wowww...really sunne me ajib lga. ...prr achha lga...anyway.... Mr amul kya ap apne bare me kuch btayegnge...apki family education...."

"mere family gao me rahti hai..."
"okay...or yha apke sath koi nhi rhta...right..."

"rahta hai na...my dog docomo ...
Sonali-so mr amul..apne streanth and weakness kya hai. ..."

"strainght hai...meri positive thinking...and weakness my docomo..."

"okk....so ap ab shadi kyu nhi kr lete ....i mean ap itne sucess hai..."

"mera docomo hai na...meri wife ka akhhri spna tha uska khyal rkhnaa...docomo ke mrne ke bad shadi krunga.."


"haha...ap bahut funny ha..ap itne handsome ho...koi bhi ldki kuu mil jati.."

"is matter me na docomo ki kismt achhi hai...jb dekho samne se ek shanti use roj dekhti rahti hai..."

"shanti kon...."
"pados me ek lady dog..."

"sir...mene bahut bar notice kiya...ap dogs pr kuch jaada focus daal rhe hai...apka docomo...dogs ...esa ku"

"because meri life ki sbse bdi problm dogs hai..."


"kaise sir btayege..."
"sure....hm bhains ko palte hai...wo hme dudh deti hai...kutta kon sa dudh deta hai..."

"pr wo hmari rkahwali krte h..."
"jo khud ki rakhwali nhi kr skte ...wo hamri kaise krege...kya unke pas guns hoti hai...kya wo martialartist hote h...kese krege hmari rakhwali..."


Sonal haste hue-okay...so you want ki..
"i want ki...kutto ki dunia alg honi chahiye...hm insan ki alg...ap sochiye...kutto ke katne se 14injection lgte hai...agr kutte nhi honge.. to wo jnjection bnane nhi pdege...kitni bachat hogi..."

"butt..."
"or ek gali bhi km hogi...sala kutta...kutta kameena..sochiye...in sbse kutta hat jayega...to kmskm gaali ka asr to km hoga na..."

"but ..this earth is not only for us...ye pure jeev ki hi..chahe jaanvr ho ya vanaspati.."

"uff..kutto ne konsi building bnai hai abtk..konse office jaate hai wo...konse pese kmaate hai...kya wo teacher hote hai..scientist hote hai...doctor hote hai...fir hme kyu jrurt hai janvro ki...faeda kya hai inka..."

"sir...janvr bht useful hote hai hmare lie...unse dudh,resham,shahad,wool milte hai.."

"mam...kya ap apke mobile ke bina 5din rah skti ho...kya electricity ke bina rah skti ho...nhi na...lekin hm mobile ke bina...eletricity ke bina...pahle rahte the...lekin ab hmne use apni adat bna liya....islie hme esa lgta h ki hm unke bina nhi rah skte.. resham....wool..are hm log inke bina bhi rah chuke hai...."

"sir...ye to mai jaanti hu ki apse jeetna bht mushkil hota hai...apki debate power bht achhi hai...pr apka subject galat h...."

"really...apko pta h..hm me se sbse jada khushnseeb kon hai."

"kon"

"kutte....unhe kmaane ki jrurt nhi hoti...wo kabhi boss ki dant nhi sunte ..ghr me rhte h...kmakr hm laate hai...or khate wo hai...sale namard...

"namard"?

"or nhi to kya...sale ghr me pde rhte hai.....agr mrd hote to bahar jaate na....kmane k lie..mai to soch rha hu apne docomo ke lie chuudiyaa laadu...orto ki trh pahankr betha rhega ..."

"hahahaa...sir ap kutte ko chhudi pahnaoge ...not bad ...."

"m serius......"

"okkay...pr kutte to bahar bhi rahte hai sir...ghr me to bahut km rahte hai..."

"baahr rahkr konsa office me jaate hai...kabhi apne bahar rahne wale kutto ke hath me briefcase dekha hai...unhe suit pent me dekha hai...unhe college ka bag ltakaye hue dekha hai.....kya apne aajtk kutte ko driving krte dekha hai...unke sr pr helmet dekha hai...nhi na...so konsa teer marte hai...are lofargrdi krte hai...kutiyao ko chhedte hai."

"Hahahaha....lofargrdi...or kutte...how"

"dekhiye...kya apko kisi kutta ne bhonka hai..."
"yes...mamy times..."

"apko smjh me aaya...wo apse kya kah rha tha..."

"no..."
"actualyy...unki awaaj me wo seeti bjaate hai... gande gande coments pass krte hai...lekin apko lgta hai ki wo bs bhok rhe hai...."

"Ek min sir" uthkr teji se bahar ki taraf chali jaati hai....

Or bad me ek admi ke sath aati hai...
"sir...apki baate kuch intresting lgi...mai to shayd apse utna kuch pucha nhi skti...ye sir apka interview lenge...."

"Hello mr amul...I am raj,ha btaiaye mr amul...why you hate animals ,and mostly dogs...."

"sir...jisdin ap unhe mahsoss krna seekh jaoge na...ap bhi hate krne lgoge..."

"Why"

"ap insano se hate krte ho...koi bhi apka dushman to hoga na..."

"yes...sbhi ke hote hai..."

"kyu hai wo apka dushman...kyuki usne apko kuch kaha hoga...kuch kiya hoga apke sath..agr uski bhasha aisi hoti...ki aap smjh na sko..to kya wo apka dushman hota...."

Sonali dusri chair pr bethi smile krne lgti hai...or raaj chup ho jaata hai..

"ap uski bhasha smjh paye...uske kriyakalaap ko smjh paye ..islie apka wo admi dushman ho gye....koi kutta apko kitni bhi gali de...kya smjh payege...nhi na..."

"yes but..."

"ap nhi smjh payege....kutta apko bol rha hai...sale bsdk.....nyi bike lekar aaya hai...utar...hme muutna hai is bike pr...kya ap us pr gussa krege ...nahi na...ap utrenge or use pyar se kahege...ole lele dogi....kitna cute dogy hai....bolta hua kitna cute lg rha hai...
Or use ulta khane ko kuch de or doge..."

Pas bethi sonali ki hasi chhut jaati gai...
Raaj bhi muskuraye bina rah nhi paata...

"rahi baat nfrt ki...sch btana raaj sir...kitni ladkiya pti abtk..."

Raaj sharmakr sonali ki taraf dekhne lgta gai ..

"are boliye sir...jada se jada 2,3....in kutto ko dekho...ye log kisi kutiya ka mobile noumber nhi mangte....ye kisi kutiya ka pichha nhi krte...vanatine day,hug day,kiss day...unhe koi mtlb nhi...or na hi inhe oyo rooms ki jarurt...jaha dekho...wha pyar ka izhar kr dete hai....dekha nhi apne sdko pr..."


Sonali muh pr pr haath rkhkr hasne lgti hai....

"sir ap bahut funny baate krte hai..."

"no thats not funny...thats reality...apki life me ek ldki aana mushkil hai...or inki life hi inke lovers se bhri hoti hai....hm insan ko inse nfrt kuu nhi krni chahiye....kmaakr mai lau...khata hai wo docomo....kha khakr lala ji ho gya....kutto se nfrt kyu na kre yar......sbko lgta hai ki hamri new car ya bike ka udghatn hmne kiya...prr nhi...hakeekat me kutte susu krke krte hai...kutte kisi ko katle unhe koi kuchh nhi kahta...tum kutto ko maardo...tum jallaad bn jaoge..."


Office

"Amul ...apse ye kaha tha ki main secret mt btana....apne worker wala achha point diya...pr bad me wo kutta wala...ap jante hai apka kitna mjak bn rha hai...social media pe kitna virel hai..
Log apko villan or janvro ko hero smjh rhe hai..log pagal kah rhe hai apko...joke bn rhe hai ap pr.."

"i dont care about it...let it be...banne dejiye...jo mere drd ko smjhega...wo mjak nhi udayega..."
"ek kutta se insan ki tulna kr rhe ho...you are completly lost your mind..."

"sir...wo nanga ghumta hai...ap ghumkr dikha skte ho kya nanga...wo kisi bhi kutiya ke sath s...x kr skta hai...ap kisi rah chalti ladki ka hath pakadkr dikhao...kya apke kutte ne kbhi apko kmaakr khilaya hai...gya hai wo office...suni hai boss ki dant...hm insan...saale beti ki shadi krne ke chakkr me ...dahej dene ke lie khud ka ghar tk bech dete hai...apke kutte ne kabhi beti ki shadi ke lie kisi se udhar liya hai...their life is much batter than us...unhe na kisi se shadi krni...na kisi ki shadi kwani...na kmaana...they are much batter thn us...bolte h compare mt kro..."



Home

"sangeeta...dekho tumhara docomo hero bn gya...usne kuch nhi kiya...hmesha bethkr khaya hai...mai kmaata tha...iske lie khana laata tha...time se office jaana boss ki daant sunni...or hero bna ye...log mujhe pathhar dil bol rhe hai...or ye docomo hero bn gya.....isne kiya kya ...kyuu bna ye hero...kyu itne log iske support me hai..mera dukh meri baat koi kyu nhi smjhta....agr aisa hai to...kaash...mai kutta hota...or ye docomo amul hota...tb ise smjh aata amul ki life kya hai....jaise ye mje me rahta hai...kash mai rahta...jaise mai strugle krta hu...kash ye krta...

6am
Subah uski ankh khulti hai...
ghar ki chhat bahut unchi thi...pta nhi kaise...Amul jaise hi chalne ke lie hota hai...use ajeeb lgta hai...jaise hi niche dekhta hai...

"Bhoo"uchhla pda achank

Apni awaj use ajeeb lgi...firse wo kuch bolne ke lie jaise hi muh khola..
"Bho... bho"uske muh se kutte jaise bhokne ki awaj aayi...wo apne pero ko dekhta hai...kutte ke per...2nhi...4...amul ko shak hota hai...wo aine ke samne jaata hai or...aine me dekhta hai...wha ek kutta tha...

"Kya...mai docomo bn gya...esa kese ho skta hai..."

"Hello amul..."awaj aati hai...
Amul pichhe mudkr dekta hai...pichhe uske duplicate...yanee amul khada tha...
amul kuch bolta hai...or niklti bs bhokne ki awaj hai...

"Are..yar...apka bhokna mujhe smjh nhi arha...pr haa...apko ek baat btau...mai docomo hu...apka dog"wo bolta hua muskura deta hai...

"Bho bho"

"Dekho yar....ab ap bahut saree bate puchoge...mujhe smjh nhi aayegi...mai khud sbkuch bta deta hu....sham me aap didi...i mean sangeeta ji ki tasveer k samne bol rhe the ki docomo amul hota or amul docomo...to...bs islie shayad upr wale ne apki sunli...or 7din ke lie...mujhe...amul bna diya...or apko docomo...."samne khada hua docomo bolta hai...

amul ek kone me jakar beth jata h

Docomo office jaata hai....
Docomo me insan bnne ke sath sath... Har baat uske dimak me daal di gyi thi...jaise amul ka office kidhar hai...wo kaise baat krta tha...

Lekin amul ke sath aisa nhi tha...
Kone me bethe bethe ..4ghnte bad Achank pet me kuch drd sa mahsus hua...or use ekdm yaad aya ki...usne khana hi nhi khaya subah...gate bahar se bnd tha

"Ohh shit...ab kya kru."..wo preshan hota hua kitchen me jaata hai...lekin kitchen me sb uchai pr tha..amul dukhi mn se fir se whi jakar beth jaata hai...pet me bahut tej drd hone lga tha ab...pr kya kre...intjaar krne ke alawa wo kuch nhi kr skta tha..

Achank gate khula...or docomo dikhai diya...
Amul uski taraf hasrst bhri nigaho se dekhne lga..ki shayad ab khana milega...or khud b khud...uski poonch hilne lgi..

"Ufff...yrr...ap fir samne aagye...chaliye side hatiye...aaj office me bahut kam tha..." docmo andar akr soffe pr bethkr bag side me fenkta hai...or pani pine lgta hai..

Amul ke pet me bht jaada drd tha. pr wo bs mn maare wha betha rha...krib 5min tk docomo ese hi soffe pr betha rha...or amul ko bethe hue ko dekhta raha...

Docomo-pet me drd ho rha hoga na.....mere pet me bhi roj hota tha...pr isi trh mai apke aane intjar krta tha...ki kb ap ayege or mujhe khana denge..kai bar mai rota tha...jb ap ate the...or apne dost ke sath upr chle jaate the...mujhe bhuka chhodkr...24ghanto se mai bhuka tha..kai baar to upr hi chla gya ye sochkr ki khana nhi to..jo ap pi rhe ho wo hi dedo...kuch to pet me jaye...pr ap mujhe bhga dete the...or aakr so jaate the..us raat puri raat mai rota tha...lekin bs dil me...kuki aawaj krke rota to apki nind khul jaati...fir bhi ek khwaish rhti thi ,ek ummid ki shayd subah kuch milega...prr firse jladi jaldi me mujhe kuch dena bhul jate the...or bahar se lock krke chale jate the....

Docomo bolkr uthta hai..or khana lakar amul ke samne rakh deta hai....
Amul pet bhrkrk khana khata hai....or fir jakar sangeeta ki photo ke samne beth jata hai...najane kya soch rha tha...

Next day....docomo uthkar jaldi se fresh hota hai...or amul ko khana khilata hai...
Docomo-ap soch rhe honge ki ghr me rhna kitna mushkil hai...is ghr me ap puri trh bor ho gye honge...hai na...apne socha hoga ki baahr hota to shayad khane ko kuch mil jata hai..mai ghr lock nhi krunga..ap dekh lijiyega bahr wale kutto ki life bhi...


Docomo ke jane ke bad.. amul bahar nikal jaata hai...ghumne ke lie...
"Oye...be ye kon hai be...apne area me"ek kutta bolta hai...

"Are wah...mai kutto ki baate sun skta hu...wow new experiance..."

"Abe...ye ilaka hmara hai..kon hai tu...koi ameer kutta lgta hai be..."ek kaala kutta...jo shaayd is gang ka leader tha...usse bolta hai...uske pas 3kutte or bethe the...

Amul-mai...mera nam amul hai...mai yha pas me rhta hu..."

"Or...mai kaliya..ye hmara ilaaka hai...yha sbse pahle hmne susu kiya tha ...wo dekh..."
"Wo kya h"amul deewar ki trf dekhta hai

"Abe...tu kutta hi hai na...are wo susu hai re...apun ka susu...dekh kesi chamak maar rhi hai...sala insano ka asian pants bhi fail hai..."

Amul-okkay..nice..but.....we should go washroom for that...
"Are...ye to insano ke jesi english bolta hai...lgta hai tere malik ne bahut sikhaya hai tere ko..ye apni party join krega..bol"

itne me kuch kutte aate hue dikhayi dete hai...jo bhut tej daud rhe the...
Amul-ye kya...

"Chlo...chhoot na jaye...sbse pahle...hmara hak..."kutte chillate hue daudne gte hai...
Amul daanv dekhta na taanv...wo bhi bhagne lgta hai...

Amul-are kya hua...kyu bhag rhe ho...
"Sbsbe phale..hamra hak.."pahla kutta bolta h

Next kutte se -kya hua...kyu bhag rhe ho..
"Bhago...sbse pahle hmara hak.."
Amul teesre se -kya hua yr...bta do..kyu bhag rhe hai hm

"Abe...sbse pahle hamra hk...wo gaadi dekh...nyi aayi hai mohalle me..sbse pahle uspr hm muutenge...yahoo..."
Amul-what....tum susu krne ke lie..oh god...susu krke kya hoga...

"Abe...tujhe kuch nhi pta..are isme hme kick milti hai...abe jo mja nyi gaadiyo pr susu krke aata hai wo to sala chicken khane me bhi nhi aata.."

"Abe jaldi daud kisse baat krne lga...dekh pichhe dusre muhalle ke aagye hai..sala compitition hi itna bdh gya hai..."dusre kutta bolta hai...
Amul whi ruk jaata hai...
"Waah kya compitition hai..."amul sochta hai
Amul bhaagkr thak gya tha...wo jakr ek ped ke niche beth jata hai...

Achank samne ek aadmi gun liye khada tha..kisi ko shoot krne wala tha...
Amul chaunk jaata hai use dekhkr..
"Bho bho"ek kutta aakar us aadmi ki taraf bhokne lgta hai...wha bheed khadi thi...sb us banduk wale admi se dr rhe the...bs us kutte ke alawa...
Amul -bhai tum kuu chilla rhe ho..
"Are wo mera malik hai...ye aadmi use mar dega...mai esa nhi hone dunga"
Amul-are pr...uske hath me gun hai...mt jao mr jaoge tum bhi...

"Kya...tum insano ke jaise ku bat kr rhe ho..ya insano ke sath rhkr tumhari bhi unke jaise ghatiya soch ho gyi...wo mera malik hai...agr mene use nhi bchaya to kese chalunga sr uthakr..sb kahenge tune WAFADAARI nhi nibhai..mujhe shrm aayegi kutta hone pr..."or itna bolkr wo kutta ekdm us banduk wale pr jhapat'ta hai...goli ekdm kutte ko lgti hai...

Or wo kutta whi se mr jata h...is bich wo malik wha se bchkr bhag jaata hai...wo admi bhi public ki vajah se idhar udhar ho jaata hai...

"Bechara kutta...mr gya..kitna achha kutta tha"ek aadmi bolta hai ..or chal deta hai...amul whi us kutte ke pas betha rh jata hai...or uski ankho me aansu the...

Wo pure din sdk pr betha rhta hai...pr use koi khana nhi daalta...wo smjh chuka tha ki bhuk kya hoti h..bahut se bachhe use chhed rhe the...
Sham ho chuki thi whi bethe bethe...achank wo charo kutte aate hai...

"Are boss...tumne kuu nhi kiya susu...bda mja aaya...tumhe pta hai hmara mohalle ne baaji mardi"
Amul use us kutte ki sb bat btata hai.
"Are to isme konsa usne nya kaam kiya sb kutte aisa krte h..bs kbhi insano ko hamra balidan dikhai deta hai ,kabhi nhi..."


Amul ghr aajata hai...ghr docomo bhi aachuka tha
"kaisi lgi apko bahar ki jindagi..."

"Bho bho bho"
"pta nhi ap kya kahna chah rhe hai...aayiye khana khalijiye...apne dopahar bhi kuch nhi khaya hoga...."

Amul ki ankho me paani aajata hai ye dekhkar...
Or wo khana khane lgta hai..

Next day...
Wo charo kutte amul ke sath bethe the...amul unse bht kuch puch rha tha..amul ko mja aarha rha unse bat krne me...

Achank kuch kutte thoda dur khde hokr unki taraf bhonke lgte hai..

"Abe...inki ye majaal...inki to...sathiyo...akraman..."kaaliya bolta hai..or wo bhagne lgta hai kutto ki taraf..

Amul kyu pichhe rhta...wo bhi bhagne lgta hai...sbse aage ab amul tha...
Wo kutte aage bhag rhe the...or ye team unke pichhe..amul bhokte bhokte bhaag rha tha...
Kuch dur jaakr wo kutte achank ruk jaate hai...
Amul bhonkta hua unke aps jaakr khada ho jata hai...wo kutte gurrane lgte hai

"Are...pahle ye drkr bhag rhe the...ab sher bn rhe hai...kaaliya bhai maro salo ko.." pr koi response nhi..

Amul jaise hi pichhe dekhta hai...foonk sarak gyi...pichhe to koi tha hi nhi...mtlb...wo akela aagya yha..ab kya hoga..."

Wo kutte gurrate hue amul pr toot pdte hai...or amul ki achhe se kutaai ho jati hai...amul pitkar apne mohalle me aata to or unhe whi betha dekhta hai..
"yrrr tum sbne mujhe pitwa diya...wapas kyu agye.."


"Abe...tera dimak khiskela hai kya...are unhe apne area se bhgaana tha...unke area me kayeko guusa tu.."

Amul thoda shant sa hokar-salo...kutte hi rhoge tum....

"Ha to kutte hi rhege na...sher bne esi kismt nhi...or insan bne itni bhi bekar kismt nhi..."
"whatt...mtlb insan bnna buri bat hai..."

"Or nhi to kya...abe tu jaanta.."
Itna hi bol paya wo ki use koi dikha deta hai...

"Are chuje kya hua...udaas kyu hai"ek chuja udas ghum rha tha..

"mene suna tha..wo hmare malik...meri ma ko kaatne wale hai...sunday me...kuch rishedar ayege unke...mai meri ma ke bina kaise rhunga..."rota hua chuja btane lgta hai..


"Are yrr...tu ro mt...hm hai na...hm tujhe apne khana de diya krege...ro mt beta.."wo kutta jakar chuja ke sr pr hath firata hai....

"Ye insan itne bure hai..ye sale ese hi mrege...kabhi accident se...kabhi nyi nyi biamariyo se...or fir upr wale ko doshi thahrayge...apne krm nhi dekhege...chup ho ja chuje...ro mt.."

Amul ka dil bhar aaya ye dekhkr

"Chuje mujhe maaf krde yr ..mai bhi shayad utna hi doshi hu...jitne ye insan"

"nhi...ap to achhe ho..ap kutte ho...agr insan hote to mai apko dekhkar bhag jata...wo meri maa ko mar denge wo...mai bhi mr jaunga unke sath.."

"nhi...teri ma ko kuch nhi hoga..dekhna...wo tere sath rhegi.."

Amul use dilasa dekar chal deta hai wha se..or sochna lgta hai...rone lgta hai...
Agle din use bahut maar pdti hai... usne khana chura liya tha...lekin dando se use bahut mara gya.....7din katne use bahut bhari dikh rhe the....docomo roj use khana deta...uske bad bhi uske lie wo 7din kisi narak se km nhi the.... Aaj 6th day tha....amul janta tha ki ab wo insan bn jayega...wo apne dosto..kaliya or un 4aro ke sath pure din khela...


Docmo-so..ab ap fir se..insan bn jayege..or mai...kutta..kash mai kuch or din insan bnkr rah skta...lekin..apko preshan nhi dekh skta..fir ap meri awaj shayad kbhi nhi sun skoge...islie abhi kahta hu.. ...mai apko bahut pyar krta hu..

Amul jakar wapas sangeeta ki photo ke samne beth jaata hai...ankho me aansu liye

"Sangeeta...plsss tum to uprwale ke pas ho na..bs ek baar..esa kuch krdo ki mai or docomo dono bate kr ske. .plss mai hath jodta hu...upr wale se kaho...bs ek mohalat...plss"amul rota hua bolta h


Or dekhte dekhte achank wo insani roop me aajata hai...mtlb amul bn jata hai..
Or piche dekhta hai to...piche docomo ka roop nhi bdla tha

Docomo-are wah...ap to kl insan bnne wale the na...aj hi...or mai ...mai kutta kyu nhi bna...

Amul bhagkar jaata hai or docomo ke per pakad leta hai...

"are...ap mere malik ho...ye kya kr rhe ho ap..."

"mujhe maaf krde yr...plss mai smjh gya...hm insan kaise hote....or tum...tum schme insano se jada behtr ho...mene tumhe bhuka rkha...mujhse ek din bhi bhuk brdasht nhi hui...wo ...wo kutta malik ke lie mr gya ..itni wafadari..."

Docomo-haa malik mai bhi apke lie mr skta hu...
Amul khada hota hai...amul ki ankho me bahut aasnu the ..

"nhi mere bhai...nhi...bhgwan kre tumhe meri umr lg jaye..."
Or amul docomo ko gle se lga leta hai...

Docomo bhi rone lgta hai..

"malik.. sangeeta didi mujhe kbhi mujhe akela nhi chhodti thi...wo mujhse kahkr gyi thi ki malik ka khyal rkhna...malik ek bar ap gao gye the...mai 8din tk bhuka rha tha...mrne ko ho gya tha...or fir sangeeta didi ki baat yaad aayi...ki apka khyal rkhna hai...islie mai nhi mra..."

"maaf krde yr...or nhi sun skta....mujhe pta h mene kitne paap kiya hai...or sun...ab hm dono achhe se rhege...okk...or tu bahar bhi ja sakta hai.. ... hm ek plate me khana khayenge...prr plss mujhe maaf krde..."

"nhi malik....ap hmesha mere malik rhoge...sangeeta didi ki trh...,"

"mai malik...or sangeeta didi..."

"malik unhone hi kaha tha ki mai unka bhai hu....islie..."

"mera bhi bhai hai.....hmesha rhega .."
Or itne me hi docmo kutta bn jata hai. ..
Amul use dekhkr muskurata hai...or use firs se seene se lga leta hai ..

Subah uthkr amul sbse pahle us chuje wale ke ghr jaata hai..

"bhaisahab...mujhe apki ye murgi...or chuja chahiye"
"Are...ese kese dede"
"dono ke 1000dunga..."

Wo kuch nhi bolta
"5000...."
"Thik hai lao.."

Amul unhe 5000deta hai...or us murgi ko chuje ko apne pas le aata hai....
Amul us chuje ko hath me lene ko hota hai ..pr chuja bhagne ki koshish krta hai...lekin amul use pakad leta hai...

"ab teri ma tujhse kabhi dur nhi hogi...mere pyare chuje....or tu kbhi rona mt...tu chhota sa bht cute hai.."


Or amul us chuje ko kiss kr deta hai...
Or use fir apne dosto ki yaad aati hai...
Amul us trf jaata hai...

Wha chorahe pr bethe dikhi dete hai wo charo kutte...

Amul-hi kaliya
Kaliya ekdm amul ki trf dekhta hai...
Or bhokne lgta hai

"mujhe are mai amul hu...tumhare sath kal tha na...dekho...mene us chuje ki maa ko bcha liya...mene kaha tha kuch nhi hoga..."

Wo sb kutte use dhyan se dekhne lgte hai...

"janta hu...tum sb soch rhe hoge...ki ese kesa ho skta hai...shayd tum kutto ka drd smjhne k lie...mujhe kutta bnaya tha upr wale ne...mujhe maaf krdo yr...mai sb insano ki trf se maafi mangta hu...tum ab janvro se"


Ekdm wo kala kutta amul ke paas aata hai...or pucnh hilane lgta hai...

Amul bethkr usko gle se lga leta hai..
"tum sbke lie ek achha ghar bnaunga...fr srdi me wha rhna...khana peena sb free...okk
Achank amul ko ek gaadi dekhai deti hai...
"oye...sbse pahle apna hak...bhago.. Kick milegi..."

Kuttte ekdm us gaadi ke piche bhag lete hai..

Amul ke chrhre pr smile aajati hai...
5sal bad amul bekar pde khandar ko kharidta hai... Or use janvro ke rahne ke lie taiyar kr deta hai...wha srdi ke mosm me kambal dlwa deta hai...or usme bht sare kutte...billi...kabutar..gay ke bchhe sone lge the...wha unka khana pina jitna ho skta tha amul krta tha...

Or sangeeta ki photo ke samne khada hokr bolta hai -sangeeta...tumne mujhe sbse pyara gift diya..my docomo...

Kuch din bad...uske pados me wo ek murgi or chuje ko dekhta hai...or fr pdosi ke ghr me chala jata hai..
"bhaisahab...kb khila rhe ho chiken."
"Ohh ji prso hi mahmaan aane wale hai... "
Amul-2000me mujhe ye murgi or chuja doge...

Amul us chuje ko chumta hua bolta hai- teri ma or tere ye amul dost...hmesa tere sath rhege...or usko kiss kr deta hai...

THE END

Bahut hi gjb ki story ma'am....ek chhoti si story me aapne...kya kya nhi dikha diya...emotions se bharpur ek kahani jaha pyaar ,wafadari, dukh-drd, sukoon, lgaav, dosti ,nafrat,care sb kuchh...amul ne srf apni sangeeta ke pyaar aur usse kiye vaade ki khatir apne drr aur nafrat ko side kr docomo ko apnaya aur uska khyal bhi rkha haan baad me wo laparwahi krne lga kyuki usko wo psnd nhi tha usne interview me bhi apni usi nafrat ki aag me jalte hue na jaane un bejubaan janwaro ke liye kya kya bola unka mjak tk bna diya ek trha se,, pr jab soul exchange hui aur uske baad jb usne us dusre pehlu yani janwaro ki zindgi ka experience liya tb use malum pda ki wo to srf apne comfort se cheezo ko dekh rha tha dusri side ke pehlu ko usne kbhi socha hi nhi...bss yaha pr iss phase me jo emotions se ma'am aapne khela h. Wo to kamaal hi tha... Ek sach jisme humans hmesha dusri parjatiyon pe apni superiority dikhate h...haan humans superior h pr unko aisa kyu bnaya gya h kya srf khud ke vikas ke liye baki parjatiyon ko kuchalne ke liye ..nhi aisa to nhi hoga na. Hr kisi ki life easy nhi h chahe wo insaan ho ya janwar balki insaan apna matlab nikal bhi lete h pr janwaro ko ek hi cheeez aati h tum unko pyaar kro thoda sa wo tumhare liye apni jaan tk de denge...beshak wo hmare jitne kabil nhi pr insaniyat unme hmse jyada hoti h..ye baat amul ne bhi jaani aur baad me usne janwaro ke liye jo kiya wo bhi lajawab tha to thnak you ma'am itni sundar kahani ke liye...
Keep it up and thanks again...

 

[Ristrcted]

Story - Chhoti Si Kahani
Writer - nain11ster

sach mein kaafi purani kahani hai warna ko 3 -3 shadi karke khusi se rah sakta hai aaj ke waqt mein....aur upar se ek aur...
nice story isme acche se dikhaya gaya hai socio-economic relation ko...
iske baare mein jyada nahi likhenga apan kyunki apan ko isse jyada acchi ju ki wo 2nd story lagi hai...
par mehnat isme bhi lagi hai ju ki...aurye sayad apne tarah ka yaha pe pahla story hai...


Story - Khamosh Mohabbat
writer - nain11ster

ye mast tha...kaise Mukesh ko aur Chitra ko milaya hai barshat ne...nature ka bhi kammal hai...dard deti hai par...usme bhi kuch accha nikal jaata hai....naa barish hoti naa sayad Mukesh ko itna gussa aata aur naa wo Chitra ko thapad marta aur naa fir ye sab hota...
lovely story
par



maarna nahi tha...Neha ji ko bura lagega...

aapke likhne ka tarika bahut accha hai...aap readerrs pe chod dete ho ki character ka nature kaisa rakhe jaise Chitra ke case mein...aur ye accha hota hai sab uska nature apne hisab se maante hai...

ye sayad sabse acchi kahani hai 3 no mein se apan ke hisab se....

Story - Untold Story Of Twin
Writer - nain11ster
ye bhi kammal ki hai....fantasy jo hai.....aur yaha pe Twins Prayag aur Bhawna to sayad wo aam ke upar rakhe ghass ki tarah lage...asli kahani to flashback wali thi...jaha pe Moksh kabile ke baare mein aur waha ke logo ke baare mein bataya hai
waise inn twins ko bhi aisa kahna sahi nahi hoga.....ye bhi sahi the...
ek thoda shant aur wahi dusri thodi utsukh

acchi kahaniya thi...par Review sayad bura ho gaya comparision ke chakar mein....tinno ek saath nahi deni thi...aur wo love story wali pahle dena chahiye tha
khair

apan ka review yahi tak

 

[nain11ster]

Story - Chhoti Si Kahani
Writer - nain11ster

sach mein kaafi purani kahani hai warna ko 3 -3 shadi karke khusi se rah sakta hai aaj ke waqt mein....aur upar se ek aur...
nice story isme acche se dikhaya gaya hai socio-economic relation ko...
iske baare mein jyada nahi likhenga apan kyunki apan ko isse jyada acchi ju ki wo 2nd story lagi hai...
par mehnat isme bhi lagi hai ju ki...aurye sayad apne tarah ka yaha pe pahla story hai...


Story - Khamosh Mohabbat
writer - nain11ster

ye mast tha...kaise Mukesh ko aur Chitra ko milaya hai barshat ne...nature ka bhi kammal hai...dard deti hai par...usme bhi kuch accha nikal jaata hai....naa barish hoti naa sayad Mukesh ko itna gussa aata aur naa wo Chitra ko thapad marta aur naa fir ye sab hota...
lovely story
par



maarna nahi tha...Neha ji ko bura lagega...

aapke likhne ka tarika bahut accha hai...aap readerrs pe chod dete ho ki character ka nature kaisa rakhe jaise Chitra ke case mein...aur ye accha hota hai sab uska nature apne hisab se maante hai...

ye sayad sabse acchi kahani hai 3 no mein se apan ke hisab se....

Story - Untold Story Of Twin
Writer - nain11ster
ye bhi kammal ki hai....fantasy jo hai.....aur yaha pe Twins Prayag aur Bhawna to sayad wo aam ke upar rakhe ghass ki tarah lage...asli kahani to flashback wali thi...jaha pe Moksh kabile ke baare mein aur waha ke logo ke baare mein bataya hai
waise inn twins ko bhi aisa kahna sahi nahi hoga.....ye bhi sahi the...
ek thoda shant aur wahi dusri thodi utsukh

acchi kahaniya thi...par Review sayad bura ho gaya comparision ke chakar mein....tinno ek saath nahi deni thi...aur wo love story wali pahle dena chahiye tha
khair

apan ka review yahi tak

Hahaha... Pahli kahani samajik sandesh wala tha to gol kar gaye... But itna likh diye .. socio-economic ... Utna hi kafi hai sandesh ko sarthak pahunchane ke.... Baki ek lay me likhi gayi story thi jisme koi bhavna nahi thi kewal sandesh the...

Second story ... Thankoo very much Khamosh Mohabbat ko sarahne ke liye.... Cute si kahani dene ki kosis thi ... Aap ke comment bhi utne hi cute the to dil ko sukoon mila ki sahi tarike se sab kuchh likh gaya ... Charecter ke chatecteristics ko bhi samjhne ka shukriya... Chhoti kahaniyon me romance likhne ka ek khamiyaja yah bhi hota hai ki chatecter intro aur justification me kafi words ghus jate hain ... Aur yadi yah portion padhne wale ko samjh me nahi aaya fir romance story brain teasing ubasi si ho jati hai...

Hope u enjoy cute love story...

Third story ... Chhoti si magical fantasy thi... Ek twins ko dikhane ki kosis... Unke current living style aur purv ki hui ek badi ghatna...

Khair maine ek post me 3 story compare karne ke liye nahi di thi bus 3 alag alag flavour readers ko diye the... Decided limited shabdon me readers ko padhne ke liye...

Once again thanks... Aur hausla afjayi ka shukriya

 

[SANJU ( V. R. )]

Story - The love story.
Writer - Ristrcted

ये कहानी दो लड़कियों की है जो समलैंगिक रिश्ते में बंध जाती है । सुनिधि बचपन में ही बलात्कार का शिकार हो जाती है । उसने अपना बचपन बड़े ही मुश्किलों में काटा था । वहीं विद्या अपने माता-पिता के मरने के पश्चात अपने चाचा के द्वारा एक शराबी और बद दिमाग व्यक्ति से विवाह कर दी जाती है । उसे हर वक्त ज़लालत भरी जिंदगी काटनी पड़ती है ।

दोनो एक ही फर्म में काम करती है । सुनिधि ओहदे में उससे बड़ी है । वो विद्या को उसके पति के अत्याचारों से मुक्ति दिलाना चाहती है ।

सुनिधि के समझाने से वो समझती है और वो अपने पति का घर छोड़कर उसके पास चली आती है ।
विद्या खुबसूरत तो बहुत थी पर मोडर्न नहीं । इसलिए वो उसका कायाकल्प चेंज करवा देती है ।
दो महीने साथ रहने के दौरान सुनिधि उसके आकर्षण में फंसती जाती है । उसे मर्दों से नफरत थी लेकिन शारिरिक जरूरतें तो उसकी भी थी । उसे वो जरूरत विद्या से हासिल होने की उम्मीद लगती है ।
लेकिन समलैंगिक संबंध पर बातें करना बहुत ही असुविधाजनक होता है । ये भले ही कानूनन अपराध नहीं है लेकिन इसे समाज के बड़े हिस्से में विकृति के तौर पर देखा जाता है ।
वो अपनी बात कहने के लिए शराब का सहारा लेती है । ये हम सभी जानते हैं कि जिस बात को हम पुरे होशो-हवास में नहीं कह पाते वो शराब पीने से कह देते हैं ।

वो आखिर में कह ही देती है । जैसा कि अपेक्षित था वैसा ही हुआ । विद्या को बुरा लगता है । वो उसका घर छोड़कर जाना चाहती है पर सुनिधि के आत्महत्या करने की कोशिश पर वो पिघल जाती है ।

उन दोनों के बीच एक नए रिश्ते की शुरुआत होने से पहले ही उन्हें अपने जाॅब के चक्कर में तारापुर जाना होता है जहां उनका काम कम्पनी के लिए पुरानी हवेलियां खरीद कर उन्हें होटल के रूम में परिवर्तन कराना होता है ।

इसी क्रम में वो एक ऐसी हवेली जाती है जो कभी राजमहल हुआ करता था । वो हवेली राजा समीर सिंह की थी जिनकी मौत संदेहात्मक रूप में हुई थी ।
हवेली में सबसे पहले विद्या प्रवेश करती है । मगर उसके प्रवेश करते ही राजा समीर सिंह की आत्मा उसके शरीर में प्रवेश कर जाती है ।
जब सुनिधि को इस बात का अहसास होता है तो वो उसे बचाने का प्रयत्न करती है पर वो कामयाब नही हो पाती । इस दौरान उसने विद्या की ऐसी ऐसी हरकतें देखी जो किसी फिल्म या किताबों में ही देखने पढ़ने को मिलती है । काफी डरावनी हरकतें थी विद्या की ।
( इस दृश्य को राइटर ने बहुत ही शानदार तरीके से लिखा है )

आखिर में वहीं की एक लड़की और उसके पिता के मदद से वो विद्या को राजा समीर सिंह के चंगुल से मुक्त करवा लेती है और फिर वो दोनों हमेशा के लिए लंदन शिफ्ट हो जाती है ।

वहां वो अपने नए रिश्ते की शुरुआत करती है और बाद में एक बच्ची एडप्ट कर लेती है ।

चालीस साल साथ रहने के बाद विद्या को वापस तारापुर के उस हवेली में लौटना पड़ता है जहां उसके शरीर पर राजा समीर सिंह की आत्मा ने कब्जा कर लिया था ।
उसे वहां वापस जाना ही था क्योंकि वो उस आत्मा के साथ हमेशा के लिए बंध गई थी । राजा समीर सिंह की आत्मा ने उसे चालीस साल के लिए ही मुक्त किया था । अगर वो वापस नहीं जाती तो उन दोनों के गोद लिए हुए बच्ची पर खतरा आ सकता था ।

एक बहुत ही बढ़िया कहानी जिसे आपने बड़ी खुबसूरती से लिखा है । इस स्टोरी के द्वारा आपने समलैंगिक संबंधों को भी उजागर किया है ।
ये एक ऐसा सब्जेक्ट है जिस पर लोग बात करने से कतराते हैं । लोगों को उबकाई आने लगती है । चीन या अमेरिकी सांप और चमगादड़ खाते हैं तब भी हमें ऊबकाई आती है लेकिन इससे उनका सांप वगैरह खाना अस्वभाविक या अपराधिक नहीं हो जाता ।
अगर दो लोग - चाहे वो स्त्री हो या पुरुष - जीवन भर साथ रहते हैं , एक दूसरे से अपना मन , अपना शरीर या अपनी संपत्ति साझा करते हैं तो यह शादी के अलावा क्या ठीक है ? ठीक है वो संतानोत्पत्ति नहीं कर सकते , लेकिन क्या संतानोत्पत्ति शादी की इकलौती या अपरिहार्य कसौटी है ?

सुनिधि और विद्या दोनों मर्द जात से सताई हुई । यदि दोनों ने अपना भविष्य एक दूसरे में देखा तो क्या गलत किया ! मेरे ख्याल है कि उन्होंने बहुत अच्छा किया ।

Beautiful story Ristrcted bhai.

 

[Ristrcted]

Story - The love story.
Writer - Restrcted.

ये कहानी दो लड़कियों की है जो समलैंगिक रिश्ते में बंध जाती है । सुनिधि बचपन में ही बलात्कार का शिकार हो जाती है । उसने अपना बचपन बड़े ही मुश्किलों में काटा था । वहीं विद्या अपने माता-पिता के मरने के पश्चात अपने चाचा के द्वारा एक शराबी और बद दिमाग व्यक्ति से विवाह कर दी जाती है । उसे हर वक्त ज़लालत भरी जिंदगी काटनी पड़ती है ।

दोनो एक ही फर्म में काम करती है । सुनिधि ओहदे में उससे बड़ी है । वो विद्या को उसके पति के अत्याचारों से मुक्ति दिलाना चाहती है ।

सुनिधि के समझाने से वो समझती है और वो अपने पति का घर छोड़कर उसके पास चली आती है ।
विद्या खुबसूरत तो बहुत थी पर मोडर्न नहीं । इसलिए वो उसका कायाकल्प चेंज करवा देती है ।
दो महीने साथ रहने के दौरान सुनिधि उसके आकर्षण में फंसती जाती है । उसे मर्दों से नफरत थी लेकिन शारिरिक जरूरतें तो उसकी भी थी । उसे वो जरूरत विद्या से हासिल होने की उम्मीद लगती है ।
लेकिन समलैंगिक संबंध पर बातें करना बहुत ही असुविधाजनक होता है । ये भले ही कानूनन अपराध नहीं है लेकिन इसे समाज के बड़े हिस्से में विकृति के तौर पर देखा जाता है ।
वो अपनी बात कहने के लिए शराब का सहारा लेती है । ये हम सभी जानते हैं कि जिस बात को हम पुरे होशो-हवास में नहीं कह पाते वो शराब पीने से कह देते हैं ।

वो आखिर में कह ही देती है । जैसा कि अपेक्षित था वैसा ही हुआ । विद्या को बुरा लगता है । वो उसका घर छोड़कर जाना चाहती है पर सुनिधि के आत्महत्या करने की कोशिश पर वो पिघल जाती है ।

उन दोनों के बीच एक नए रिश्ते की शुरुआत होने से पहले ही उन्हें अपने जाॅब के चक्कर में तारापुर जाना होता है जहां उनका काम कम्पनी के लिए पुरानी हवेलियां खरीद कर उन्हें होटल के रूम में परिवर्तन कराना होता है ।

इसी क्रम में वो एक ऐसी हवेली जाती है जो कभी राजमहल हुआ करता था । वो हवेली राजा समीर सिंह की थी जिनकी मौत संदेहात्मक रूप में हुई थी ।
हवेली में सबसे पहले विद्या प्रवेश करती है । मगर उसके प्रवेश करते ही राजा समीर सिंह की आत्मा उसके शरीर में प्रवेश कर जाती है ।
जब सुनिधि को इस बात का अहसास होता है तो वो उसे बचाने का प्रयत्न करती है पर वो कामयाब नही हो पाती । इस दौरान उसने विद्या की ऐसी ऐसी हरकतें देखी जो किसी फिल्म या किताबों में ही देखने पढ़ने को मिलती है । काफी डरावनी हरकतें थी विद्या की ।
( इस दृश्य को राइटर ने बहुत ही शानदार तरीके से लिखा है )

आखिर में वहीं की एक लड़की और उसके पिता के मदद से वो विद्या को राजा समीर सिंह के चंगुल से मुक्त करवा लेती है और फिर वो दोनों हमेशा के लिए लंदन शिफ्ट हो जाती है ।

वहां वो अपने नए रिश्ते की शुरुआत करती है और बाद में एक बच्ची एडप्ट कर लेती है ।

चालीस साल साथ रहने के बाद विद्या को वापस तारापुर के उस हवेली में लौटना पड़ता है जहां उसके शरीर पर राजा समीर सिंह की आत्मा ने कब्जा कर लिया था ।
उसे वहां वापस जाना ही था क्योंकि वो उस आत्मा के साथ हमेशा के लिए बंध गई थी । राजा समीर सिंह की आत्मा ने उसे चालीस साल के लिए ही मुक्त किया था । अगर वो वापस नहीं जाती तो उन दोनों के गोद लिए हुए बच्ची पर खतरा आ सकता था ।

एक बहुत ही बढ़िया कहानी जिसे आपने बड़ी खुबसूरती से लिखा है । इस स्टोरी के द्वारा आपने समलैंगिक संबंधों को भी उजागर किया है ।
ये एक ऐसा सब्जेक्ट है जिस पर लोग बात करने से कतराते हैं । लोगों को उबकाई आने लगती है । चीन या अमेरिकी सांप और चमगादड़ खाते हैं तब भी हमें ऊबकाई आती है लेकिन इससे उनका सांप वगैरह खाना अस्वभाविक या अपराधिक नहीं हो जाता ।
अगर दो लोग - चाहे वो स्त्री हो या पुरुष - जीवन भर साथ रहते हैं , एक दूसरे से अपना मन , अपना शरीर या अपनी संपत्ति साझा करते हैं तो यह शादी के अलावा क्या ठीक है ? ठीक है वो संतानोत्पत्ति नहीं कर सकते , लेकिन क्या संतानोत्पत्ति शादी की इकलौती या अपरिहार्य कसौटी है ?

सुनिधि और विद्या दोनों मर्द जात से सताई हुई । यदि दोनों ने अपना भविष्य एक दूसरे में देखा तो क्या गलत किया ! मेरे ख्याल है कि उन्होंने बहुत अच्छा किया ।

Beautiful story Ristrcted bhai.

itni khushi....
waise ek jagah naam galat hi hai abhi bhi
par koi nahi...
accha laga review dekh ke.... ju accha review dete ho kahani ko samajh ke..
Ju acche writer bhi ho...kahani shuru karo koi nahi....jisme fantasy ho...ju ke likhne ke tarike se lagta hai kahani bahut acchi chalegi...
start karne ka kahani

 

[nain11ster]

क़ातिल कौन ?
प्रस्तुतकर्ता - SANJU ( V. R. )

Apasyu Rajvanshi se aise kimat vasool karwayenge.... ..

Achhi kahani thi... Ek chhoti si murder mystery thi, jise sadhe huye tarike se likha gaya tha... Kahani ke sabhi mul kirdar lay me the... Aur obviously Apasyu jahan hoga wahan to wahi lead karega... Isme koi shanshay nahi tha...

Khair apne jankari aur budhhimata ke bal par Apasyu rajvanshi ne case to solve kar liya lekin padhte waqt aisa kyon laga ki sab jaldi jaldi me ho raha hai... kahin na kahin kahani me mujhe thrill ki hi kami lagi jo itne majboot patkatha ko kahin na kahin kuch kamjor sa kar gayi...

Best of luck for your contest ... Aap ki mehnat aur kahani ki lay dono hi lajavab hai

 

[nain11ster]

The Bonding
Writer - Baban Baban

Ek achhi prastuti jahan kahani ko ek bejuban ke najariye se dikhaya gaya tha... Khair ye to duniya ki reet hai... Shristhi apne har samuday me balance karke chalti hai... Fir wo balance manav nirnit ho ya fir nature ka...

Jahan achhe log rahte hain wahan bure log bhi rahte hain ye to insani samaj ki banawat hai... Lobh aur laalach to un janvaron me bhi paya jata hai jo bhojan ke liye ladai karte hain...

Kahani ko kafi khoobsoorti ke sath likha gaya hai... Kintu ek bejuban ke najar se jahan 90% kahani negative dikhayi gayi thi wahin aakhri bhaag me ek dosti ko bhi ujagar kiya gaya jiska ek chhota sa ansh ya matr introduction kahen to galat nahi hoga...

Ek hi marmik drishya aur ho rahe atyachar ko aisa lag raha tha ki badal badal kar dikhaya ja raha tha jo kahani ko thoda khincha hua banata hai....


Aap ko contest ki dheron subhkamna... Best of luck

 

[Chutiyadr]

Story = 1) Chhoti Si Kahani

2) Khamosh Mohabbat

3) Untold Story Of Twins

Writer = nain11ster

Link = https://xforum.live/threads/★☆★-xforum-ultimate-story-contest-2021-entry-thread-★☆★.34682/post-2616490

Review =

Ek bolkar 3 kahani

Pahali se shuru karte hai ..

Chhoti si kahani ..​

Sala ye Sampoornanand kuchh jyada hi sampoorn tha , yanha ek shadi nahi ho rahi hai aur janab 3 biwi rakhe hue the

Hummm

Is story ko padhkar kuchh bahut hi gahare vichaar man me aaye , ye kahi na kahi haliya stithi ko bhi bayan karti hai ..

Yapaar aur shashan ka gathjod hamesha se raha hai , aur isi gathjod se chalaak vyapari faltu ke chijo ko hamare jivan ka hissa bana dete hai , hamare desh me bhi bahari vyapaar fal ful raha hai , American aur china ke liye ham bade market hai , swabhawik si baat hai ki shashan ko bhi isse laabh hota hai tax ke roop me lekin bat wahi hai ki akhirkar ham wo saman kharidte aur upyog me late hai jiski hame jarurat hi nahi hai …….

Achchi story thi nainu bhai ki story hai to bhasha aur lay ke kharab hone ka to sawal hi nahi uthta ..

Ek chhupe hue msg ke sath ek achchi kahani ..

Khamosh Mohabbat ​

Ise padhkar ek hi chij muh se nikali “bhai sahab kuchh jyda nahi ho gaya

Iske upper ek mast story likhi ja sakati hai nainu bhai likhe to romantic aur ham jaise hawasi likhe to adultery type story ..

Ager main likhu to plot me Mukesh aage chalkar khulasha karega ki chitra ke baap ne uski maa ka rape kar diya tha aur isike karan wo badala le raha tha aur uski sari jayjaad par Mukesh kabsa kar lega
ab chitra ka baap hi mukesh ka bhi baap hai is tarah se dono bhai - behan bhi ban gaye to ise insect me bhi post kar skate ho
To writer sahab meri bat ko seriously le is par lambi story likhe …

Untold Story Of Twin ​

(Aur agle hi pal Prayag tahalte huye aage badhne laga aur Bhavna thar'thar, thar'thar apne hanth thirkati, jaise-jaise upar utha rahi thi, wo pura farm house kanpta hua hilne laga tha... Agle hi pal jaise hi usne apne dono hath dayen-bayen jhtake pura ghar hi 2 hisson me bant gaya...)

Kuchh jyda nahi ho gaya

Bhatake hue moksh samudaay ke logo ke jaise story bhi bhataki hui lagi , short story me itna bada plot ko justify karna muskil ho jata hai , bhahut kuchh chhut jata hai , character develop hi nahi ho paya aur fir back story ..

Lambi story hoti to achcha tha ..

Lekin nainu bhai ki story hai to padhna to banta hai , action badiya tha…

Chir parichit andaaj me story likhi gayi to padhna faltu nahi hota,

Personally mujhe to kuchh khas pasand nahi aaya..kya hai na writer jab achcha ho to dil mange more



Note for writer = nainu bhai pahli story bahut hi achchi thi , dusari usse thodi kam achchi aur teesari usse thodi aur kam achchi :lol1

Lekin 3no stories achchi lagi , aap jo bhi likh do wo achcha hi lagta hai aapke lekhani me wo baat hai …..

Chalo tareeef bhi kar diya aur criticize bhi kar diya ab dono party apna check bhijwa dena