• If you are trying to reset your account password then don't forget to check spam folder in your mailbox. Also Mark it as "not spam" or you won't be able to click on the link.

★☆★ Xforum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 ~ Reviews Thread ★☆★

Status
Not open for further replies.

Indian Princess

The BDSM Queen
Staff member
Moderator
9,545
9,308
189
Story :- Firauti

Writer :- Indian Princess

Link :-

story achi thi lekin mujhe thode doubt hai ye aadhi adhuri kahani jaisi lagi
aapki writting skills bahut hi achi hai..agar aap story ko thoda aur khichti to bahut hi achi story ban sakti thi

lekin jo bhi likha hai bahut hi acha likha hai :claps:
mujhe bas dukh is baat hai ki story mein kamiyan bahut hai :verysad:
aapne humein is baar nirash kiya hai
ummed karta hu agli baar story puri likhi ho

best of luck for contest:good:

Rating:- 3.8/5 stars( writting skills & story ke mehnat ke liye )


Thanks for your wonderful review :thanks:
 

Indian Princess

The BDSM Queen
Staff member
Moderator
9,545
9,308
189
Story:- Firauti


Writer:- Indian Princess


Review:-
Achi storie thi bhayia ji Firauti ki maang sirf un logo se hoti hai jin ki haisiyat ho jo samajhte ho ke wo paise se kuch bhi ker sakte hai na ke atmaram jaise phatte hal admi se Waise puri storie me suspence bana raha ke akhir aage kya ho ga Aniket ne apni puri koshis ki lekin beimano ki duniya me imandaro ki sunta kon hai aisa he aniket ke saath huwa pehle laga sach me atmaram se paise mange hai lekin us ki halat daikh ker yaqeen nahi aa rha tha phir inspector ki baat sun ker samajh ayi huwa kya hai lekin end me to puri game he badal di ap ne good storie umeed karta hu aage bhi ap ki stories parhne ko milti rahe gi Best of luck for contest
Thanks for your wonderful review :thanks:
 

Champ_AK_81

Well-Known Member
5,758
13,138
189
Story:- AMULYA TOHFA

Writer:- Milan2010

Kaafi taarifein suna hai Milan bhai aapka especially time travel story mein...Aaj future related ek story padhne ka mauka mila.

Aapne story mein human activities ko dikhaya hai...Jo unplanned urbanization aur modernization ke naam par deforestation aur natural resources ka exploitation hota hai...Aise activites progressive to lagte hai lekin kitne hadd tak destructive ho sakte hai ye future mein hi pata chalta hai.

Aur aapne ye bhi acche se dikhaya ki insaan ko akal tab hi aata hai jab unse sab kuch chheene lagta hai...Paani aur Haawa ka bhi mahatwa tab pata chalta hai jab uska kami mehsus hone lagta hai. :sigh:

Story ka positives ki baat karu toh aapka detailed narration bahut accha laga...Kaise earth mein life ka shuruwat hua...Aur kaise earth mein life ke possibilty ke liye favourable condition bana...Itna complicated cheej ko bhi aapne acche se simple way mein present kiya.

Aur saath hi Sarthak ki wo koshish...Jis mein usne kabhi haar naa maante hue ek impossible sa project ko pura kiya...Aur sabhi ke liye fir se ek suitable environment banaya survival ke liye.

Aur ending mein jaise Sarthak ne uss bacchi ko bachaya usse dekh kar Spyder movie aur Asur web series yaad aaya...Jab har taraf negativity hota hai aur insaan laalach mein sirf apna sochta hai to unmein kuch aise incidents bhi hote hai jab kuch log apne jaan par khel kar dusro ko bachaata hai.


Aur kuch constructive ki baat karu to...Jaise aapne story mein life ka beginning ka explanation diya...Aise hi human activities jo prithvi ko barbaad kar rahe hai...Kuch aise examples thoda aur detailed mein likhte to shayad aur accha rehta.

Kul mila kar aapne bahut accha story likha hai...Jis mein ek deep meaning ke saath iss proverb ko bhi justify kiya..."Prevention is better than cure."

All the best for contest bhai. :)
 
Last edited:
191
1,237
124
Story:- रंगीन रातों का हसीन सफर


Writer:- Mr Sexy Webee


Review:- Kahani vishnu nami larke ki hai jis ka man bilkul saaf tha us ko kisi galat cheez ka pata he naui tha lekin phir us ki zindagi me shamoo ayi jis ne us ko hawas ke khel me daal diya jis ke chalte Vishnu ne apni maa ke saath sambhog kia aur ye khel aage chalta raha jis ki wajha se vishnu Ek ameer admi ban gaya Aur sidhe apni malik ki beti se shadi ker li phir malik aur baap ki moat ke baad wo apni zindagi me magan ho ker jeene laga Achi kahani thi Best of luck for contest
Thank you so much for review
 

nain11ster

Prime
23,615
80,410
189
Story - फक्त एक ख्वाहिश
Written By - fountain_pen

Kahani ki Samiksha me kya hi kahna ... Ek mithi si prem kahani jo dil hi dil me shuru hui aur dil ke chand alfason ke baad khatam bhi ho gayi.

Kahani itni saral bhasha me aur is flow me likhi gayi ki padh kar maza type aa jaye. Samar aur aprajita ki dhimi sulagti prem kahani man me thoda sawal chhod jata hai... Kyon aisa kyon kiya.

Ek bahut badi chuk jo lekhak mahoday ji se hui ... Jis karan se mere sath sath kayi aur pathkon ko bhi shayad padhte waqt hui hogi .. wo thi story se chand para miss hona...

Ye chand para miss hona bhi aap ke anter man ko vyakul bana jate hai ki kya hua hoga Samar aur aprajita ke bich.... Mujhe lagta hai ye scene itna dil se juda hua tha ki lekhak mahoday itna pyara likhne ke bawjoood yahan par likhne me kanjusi kar gaye aur is scene ke sath nyaya nahi kar paye...

Mai ummid karta hun ki inki kahaniyan hume story section me padhne ke liye mile. Inke lekhni aur presentation ne mera pura dhyan kendrit kiya hai... Aur aasha karta hun ki Samar aur aprajita ki detail love story wo story section me prakashit kare jahan shabdon ka koi bandhan na ho..dhanywad
 
  • Like
Reactions: fountain_pen

Milan2010

Well-Known Member
4,809
3,582
159
Story:- AMULYA TOHFA

Writer:- Milan2010

Kaafi taarifein suna hai Milan bhai aapka especially time travel story mein...Aaj future related ek story padhne ka mauka mila.

Aapne story mein human activities ko dikhaya hai...Jo unplanned urbanization aur modernization ke naam par deforestation aur natural resources ka exploitation hota hai...Aise activites progressive to lagte hai lekin kitne hadd tak destructive ho sakte hai ye future mein hi pata chalta hai.

Aur aapne ye bhi acche se dikhaya ki insaan ko akal tab hi aata hai jab unse sab kuch chheene lagta hai...Paani aur Haawa ka bhi mahatwa tab pata chalta hai jab uska kami mehsus hone lagta hai. :sigh:

Story ka positives ki baat karu toh aapka detailed narration bahut accha laga...Kaise earth mein life ka shuruwat hua...Aur kaise earth mein life ke possibilty ke liye favourable condition bana...Itna complicated cheej ko bhi aapne acche se simple way mein present kiya.

Aur saath hi Sarthak ki wo koshish...Jis mein usne kabhi haar naa maante hue ek impossible sa project ko pura kiya...Aur sabhi ke liye fir se ek suitable environment banaya survival ke liye.

Aur ending mein jaise Sarthak ne uss bacchi ko bachaya usse dekh kar Spyder movie aur Asur web series yaad aaya...Jab har taraf negativity hota hai aur insaan laalach mein sirf apna sochta hai to unmein kuch aise incidents bhi hote hai jab kuch log apne jaan par khel kar dusro ko bachaata hai.


Aur kuch constructive ki baat karu to...Jaise aapne story mein life ka beginning ka explanation diya...Aise hi human activities jo prithvi ko barbaad kar rahe hai...Kuch aise examples thoda aur detailed mein likhte to shayad aur accha rehta.

Kul mila kar aapne bahut accha story likha hai...Jis mein ek deep meaning ke saath iss proverb ko bhi justify kiya..."Prevention is better than cure."

All the best for contest bhai. :)
:thanks: thank u so much Champ_AK_81 sir :dost:
jaankar acha laga ki aapko meri story pasand aayi
:shocked: kya meri tareef :shocked: kyu majak kar rahe h sir :banghead:
bilkul bhai, hum insaan ki yehi hi problem hai..hum karte pehle hai aur sochte nahi hai..aur baad me pachata te hai ki humne pehle aise kiya hota toh acha hota
bhai mai chahta toh earth aur paani kese bane voh naa likhkar story ke kuch points add kar sakta tha..lekin maine socha ki agar paani aur earth ke baare me likhu ki voh kese astitva me aaye toh voh unn ke hamari life me hone ki importance ko samja paata
yeh do ese tohfe hai jo bahut muskil se mili hai
negativity toh har kisi me hoti h..lekin jab insaan ko pata h ki voh khud marne ki kagar par kahda h aur tb bhi voh lalach nahi chodta..yahi baat maine story me likhi thi

bhai aapki baat se sehmat hu, agar mai voh sab likhta toh story kaafi badi ho rahi thi..fir maine use short me indirectly bata diya
aapka bahut bahut sukhriya bhai ki aapko meri story pasand aayi
:thanks:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Champ_AK_81

Champ_AK_81

Well-Known Member
5,758
13,138
189
Story:- Kaanch Ka Gharonda...(Vayang)

Writer:- nain11ster

Vayang...Shayad kuch jyada hi vakt ho gaya tha vayang padhe...Issi liye bina soche samjhe title par click kar ke padhna chalu kar diya...Upar se ye lockdown ka boriyat.

Abb aate hai story par...Vayang mein hansaate hansaate bahut logo ki gaalon par pyar se thappad bhi laga diya...Jo samay ki maang bhi hai aur jarurat bhi. :D

Celebrity aur Akalmandi ka correlation bahut sahi tha...Celebrity ke munh se nikal har ek shabd dhurva satya hi hota hai...Aur agar apna baat kisi ke saamne rakhna ho aur usko manwana ho to pehle celebrity bano aur apna baat aage rakho.

Aur aise hi debate aur feedback par bhi aapne bahut acche se prakash daala...Feedback mein bhi logon ko sirf positive hi sunne ki aadat hai...Constructive ki to koi value hi nahi chaahe galti kitna bhi kyu naa ho.

Ek vayang ke jariye aapne bahut saari mukhauta ko benakaab kiya.

Abb isse aage kya kahu...Sab kuch aapne keh hi diya....Agar aage aur bhi kuch kaha to kahi aap mujhe bhi benakaab naa kar de reply mein :D

Bahut accha laga bhai ye story padh kar...Abhi humaare aas paas ke maahaul ko le kar bahut hi sahi vayang tha jo humaare jindagi mein pratyaksh yaa fir apratyaksh roop mein asar kar raha hai.

All the best for contest. :thumbup:
 

Champ_AK_81

Well-Known Member
5,758
13,138
189
Story:- " फक्त एक ख्वाहिश"

Writer:- fountain_pen

Ek accha story ki koshish...Shuruwaat mein story ka jo flow tha wo shayad ending mein thoda gadbad ho gaya.

Abb aate hai story ke positive part par...Samar ke feelings aur uske pyaar ko aapne bahut acche se likha...Especially uske sad life ke baare mein...Har jagah se usse apne jindagi mein haar kaa saamna hi karna pada aur kahi kahi saajish aur dhokha bhi...Kuch aisa laga padh kar...Iske baawjud wo jis tarah se aage badh raha tha usko aapne bahut acche se dikhaya.

Aur saath hi uska Aparajita ke liye chaahat...Ek khwahish ki uske iss bura pal mein usse Aparajita ka saath mile aur wo hamesha uska ban kar reh jaaye uske baaki jindagi ke liye...Ye wala part aapne bahut acche se likha...Padh kar bahut accha laga. :)

Story ke kuch portions aise thhe jo kaafi unclear laga...Aur saath hi aisa bhi laga ki kuch portions cut kiya hai story mein...Wo Samar aur Aparajita ke alag hone ke baad achanak se Srinagar wala scene aur abrupt ending...Yaha jaa kar narration mein kami mehsus hua.

Romantic scene Samar aur Aparajita ke bich accha tha lekin thoda aur accha ho sakta tha.

Story padh kar accha to laga lekin kuch missing bhi.

Iss contest ke baad agar ho sake to story section mein thoda detail me iss story ko likhiye...Ek alag aur kaafi accha story banne ki possibility hai...Agar Samar aur Aparajita ke missing scene ko dikhayenge to.

All the best for contest bhai. :thumbup:
 
  • Like
Reactions: fountain_pen
2,958
2,826
159
Story:- " फक्त एक ख्वाहिश"

Writer:- fountain_pen

Ek accha story ki koshish...Shuruwaat mein story ka jo flow tha wo shayad ending mein thoda gadbad ho gaya.

Abb aate hai story ke positive part par...Samar ke feelings aur uske pyaar ko aapne bahut acche se likha...Especially uske sad life ke baare mein...Har jagah se usse apne jindagi mein haar kaa saamna hi karna pada aur kahi kahi saajish aur dhokha bhi...Kuch aisa laga padh kar...Iske baawjud wo jis tarah se aage badh raha tha usko aapne bahut acche se dikhaya.

Aur saath hi uska Aparajita ke liye chaahat...Ek khwahish ki uske iss bura pal mein usse Aparajita ka saath mile aur wo hamesha uska ban kar reh jaaye uske baaki jindagi ke liye...Ye wala part aapne bahut acche se likha...Padh kar bahut accha laga. :)

Story ke kuch portions aise thhe jo kaafi unclear laga...Aur saath hi aisa bhi laga ki kuch portions cut kiya hai story mein...Wo Samar aur Aparajita ke alag hone ke baad achanak se Srinagar wala scene aur abrupt ending...Yaha jaa kar narration mein kami mehsus hua.

Romantic scene Samar aur Aparajita ke bich accha tha lekin thoda aur accha ho sakta tha.

Story padh kar accha to laga lekin kuch missing bhi.

Iss contest ke baad agar ho sake to story section mein thoda detail me iss story ko likhiye...Ek alag aur kaafi accha story banne ki possibility hai...Agar Samar aur Aparajita ke missing scene ko dikhayenge to.

All the best for contest bhai. :thumbup:


Review ke liye bahut bahut Shukriya Bhai.

Jitne bhi review mile wo as per actual mile n believe me is se jyada kuch nahi chahiye tha... post karne se pehle hi pata tha flaws ke baare main... asal m abhi feel ho raha hai better hota agar missing part bhi daal deta to.... faaltu m hi dar rha tha... par aage se aisa nhi hoga... jo theek lagega post kar dunga... baaki aap log, sumo, n admin hain samhaalne ke liye...

promise karta hoon is kahaani ki detailed narration jald hi aapko mile.... next week ke end tak socha hai kyunki abhi thoda busy hoon aur kuch changes bhi karne hain story main... isliye.

apna itna time dene ke liye aapka ek baar aur dhanywaad.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Champ_AK_81
2,958
2,826
159
Story - फक्त एक ख्वाहिश
Written By - fountain_pen

Kahani ki Samiksha me kya hi kahna ... Ek mithi si prem kahani jo dil hi dil me shuru hui aur dil ke chand alfason ke baad khatam bhi ho gayi.

Kahani itni saral bhasha me aur is flow me likhi gayi ki padh kar maza type aa jaye. Samar aur aprajita ki dhimi sulagti prem kahani man me thoda sawal chhod jata hai... Kyon aisa kyon kiya.

Ek bahut badi chuk jo lekhak mahoday ji se hui ... Jis karan se mere sath sath kayi aur pathkon ko bhi shayad padhte waqt hui hogi .. wo thi story se chand para miss hona...

Ye chand para miss hona bhi aap ke anter man ko vyakul bana jate hai ki kya hua hoga Samar aur aprajita ke bich.... Mujhe lagta hai ye scene itna dil se juda hua tha ki lekhak mahoday itna pyara likhne ke bawjoood yahan par likhne me kanjusi kar gaye aur is scene ke sath nyaya nahi kar paye...

Mai ummid karta hun ki inki kahaniyan hume story section me padhne ke liye mile. Inke lekhni aur presentation ne mera pura dhyan kendrit kiya hai... Aur aasha karta hun ki Samar aur aprajita ki detail love story wo story section me prakashit kare jahan shabdon ka koi bandhan na ho..dhanywad

thanks again.... aapka review pehle hi mil gaya tha to zarurat nahi thi iski... missing part ke peeche ki wajah apan pehle discuss kar chuke hain... us galati ko story section m door karne ki poori koshish hogi..
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top