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★☆★ XForum | Ultimate Story Contest 2020 - Results ★☆★
- Thread starterLucifer
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Last time many people were pissed with how the judgement was made on the stories. This time, we have tried something new. Judges reviews are posted in this thread, you can check the opinions of the judges on your stories. This pattern is completely New. Hope you guys will like it.
Each story was judged and reviewed by 3 judges. The judgement was made on the basis of Plot, Narration, Character Buildup and Flow.
Coming back to result. We received nearly fifty entries to this contest from so many talented writers. The judges thoroughly enjoyed reading all your stories, and with such an amazing selection, you made their job of choosing just a handful of winners very difficult. You should be proud. We’re very proud of you.
Each story was judged and reviewed by 3 judges. The judgement was made on the basis of Plot, Narration, Character Buildup and Flow.
Coming back to result. We received nearly fifty entries to this contest from so many talented writers. The judges thoroughly enjoyed reading all your stories, and with such an amazing selection, you made their job of choosing just a handful of winners very difficult. You should be proud. We’re very proud of you.
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Finally, its the moment y'all been waiting for... The winner of Ultimate Story Contest is Milan2010 for his phenomenal entry "AMULYA TOHFA " . a big hearty congratulations to him. The Story was Fire if you read it you can straight up say that Milan has put up a lot of work in that story..
Next, the first runner-up is none other than nain11ster for his fabulous entry " परा विद्या ". A Story full of supernatural events you all know Nain and how amazing of a writer he is and that is the reason ladies and gentlemen. He came up with a complete different ideas and won our hearts..
And lastly the second runner up. Now there is a tie between harshit1890 and Chutiyadr . We have decided to award them both for their marvelous entries, "Dangee " and " हवस से प्रेम तक ". Congrats to both of them. Who doesn't know Harshit, I don't think there is anybody on this forum who doesn't know about him he is a legend on his own. He is a specialist in Horror genre but here he showed that he is not bound to any genre, he can write anything he wants and readers will enjoy it for sure..
Now Same about Chutiyadr you see him in Hindi section with his awesome erotic stories but here he went out of his comfort zone to write this story that was an amazing story.
Next, the first runner-up is none other than nain11ster for his fabulous entry " परा विद्या ". A Story full of supernatural events you all know Nain and how amazing of a writer he is and that is the reason ladies and gentlemen. He came up with a complete different ideas and won our hearts..
And lastly the second runner up. Now there is a tie between harshit1890 and Chutiyadr . We have decided to award them both for their marvelous entries, "Dangee " and " हवस से प्रेम तक ". Congrats to both of them. Who doesn't know Harshit, I don't think there is anybody on this forum who doesn't know about him he is a legend on his own. He is a specialist in Horror genre but here he showed that he is not bound to any genre, he can write anything he wants and readers will enjoy it for sure..
Now Same about Chutiyadr you see him in Hindi section with his awesome erotic stories but here he went out of his comfort zone to write this story that was an amazing story.
PRIZE DETAILS
Name | Benefits |
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Chutiyadr and harshit1890 | 1000 reaction boost + 7 day Sticky thread(Stories) |
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Coming to readers award, this was introduced recently to appreciate the efforts of readers. This is a temporary award which will be award to users on monthly basis based on their reviews in story section. Yes, you heard it right, this award is not limited to contests. It will keep on rotating.
Enough details, lets move on to the winner of the best reader title in the contest, its none other than Chutiyadr . Congratulations to him, he is the first ever person to receive this award
.
We would also like to appreciate Damha for his efforts in reviewing stories. As a token of appreciation, he will get receive a 300 boost in his reaction count.
"The possibility of failure does not prevent contestants from competing because when we are optimistic, we tend to ignore failure. But it is failure that teaches success. Success and failure are not simultaneous; one must take precedence." :- Vincent Okay Nwachukwu
Enough details, lets move on to the winner of the best reader title in the contest, its none other than Chutiyadr . Congratulations to him, he is the first ever person to receive this award
.We would also like to appreciate Damha for his efforts in reviewing stories. As a token of appreciation, he will get receive a 300 boost in his reaction count.
"The possibility of failure does not prevent contestants from competing because when we are optimistic, we tend to ignore failure. But it is failure that teaches success. Success and failure are not simultaneous; one must take precedence." :- Vincent Okay Nwachukwu
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REVIEW BY JUDGE
PART - A (From Story 1-15)
Points: 6/10
Story : Haivan The Devil
Written by: AbhaySmarty
Read the story: here
Review:Overview-: there are some loopholes in this story, like lack of emotion ,narration,Maybe ye ek acchi story ho sakti thi par shayad aapko jaldbaji jyada thi story post karne ki..so spelling mistakes bhi bahut hain..Lekin the better thing is you are the first one to post the story in the contest most people hesitate to post first in contests :D so I'll give you that. Pros :-Plot accha tha aur aapne likhane ki koshish bhi bahut achhe se ki hai..Aapka effort accha tha uppar se agar hum ending ko hataa dein toh baaki time story kaa flow nahi tutta.. Cons :-dialouge aise lag rahe the jaise koi sentence likha ja raha hai …Ending mein toota phoota flow tha ..Narration kaafi weak thi so you need to work on your dialouge delivery and Narration and you'll be a whole new writer.. Best of Luck for future Stories
Points: 8/10
Story : Dangee
Written by: Harshit1890
Read the story: here
Review: Overview :- I was always a fan of your writing Harshit bhai you are a legend in my personal opinion. Or jiss jagah aapne focus kiya hai iss story mein woh behad he important or dil dehla dene waala portion hai iss samaaj kaa jiske baare mein vichaar sabke pass hain lekin koi iske baare mein karna kuch nahi caahta.. Pros- Your Plot was fantastic as always also a lot different then others that was a bonus for you..The narration was as usual awesome thi aapki jiss flow se aapne suruwaat ki waa! maja he aagaya.. Cons-As I said you are a legend in my opinion lekin iss baar mujhe bahot kamiyaan dikhi aapki story mein jo rare hai bahot rare Specially typos I never expected that much typos from your side i think ye jaldi post karne ki wajah se hua hai..Secondly aapne story ko 2 portions mein baant diya in terms of flow and emotions start mein dono he cheejein behtarin thi like over the top lekin end mein aap woh flow or emotions carry nahi kar paae jiss wajah se story ki jo sadness hai woh awkwardness mein badal gayi because of the emotions not following the plot of the story.. I really appreciate you going ahead with this topic Harshit bhai as always a pleasure to read your stories and a proud moment for me to be able to judge it.. Hats Off Harshit Bhai..
Points: 6.5/10
Story : Rahasmayi Highway (Be Warned )
Written by: Rbcl.007
Read the story: here
Review:Overview :- It’s readable suspense thriller with few spelling mistake …Plot bahut umda tha … Pros :- Ek Serial Killing story hmesha majedar hoti hai ..padhte waqt kanhi boriyat nahi lagi ..Reporter ko jaal me fasaane ka tarika bhi behtar tha ..Story ka flow behtar tha Overall Ekacchi story thi .. Cons:- As a reader Suspence jyada thrill nahi jaga paaya …Flow ke sath narration better hota to story jyada thrill karti…Reporter best tha par vo itni asani se fans gya vo bachkana laga..
Points: 7/10
Story : Pyar-Jhagda
Written by: Akki333
Read the story: here
Review: by Overview-: ? ? Ye ek aisi kahani thi jise padkar logo ko rishtey ki ahmiyat ke bare me samjhna chahiye …:bow:Pros :- Achaanak se aayi rishton me kadwaahat ko kis tarah se sambhaalna chahiye woh is kahani me bakhoobhi dikhaya hai ..story ki khoobsurati uski sahaj aur saral bhasha hai ..superb : Cons :- Kahani mein aur bhi bahut kuch kiya ja sakta tha specially plot ko tum thoda or khinch shaktey they …As a reader hamesha yahi siqayat rahegi All the best for your future Stories ..you are a good writer ..waiting for more from your side
Points: 7/10
Story : Gand ka Show Room
Written by: Chutiyadr
Read the story: here
Review:Overview:-Ek Dark Comedy with naked sensation. Padhkar maja aata agar Storyline thodi acchi hoti..Sirf ek point ke upar kahani likhna vo bhi bina kisi sense ke, aapse umeed nahi thi Dr Sahab..Waise aapki writing skills ke upar koi sandeh nahi hai, aapne uska istemal acche se kiya hai ..Emotions aur sense dono gayab they story se.. Pros:- Comdey likhna apne aap mein plus point hota hai because readers ko kuch bhi passand hi like Thriller, Romance yaa adultery usme humessa comedy hota he hai…Aapka narration aur flow dono jabrdast they … Worst Part of the Story :- Emotion aur Sense dono hi Negative point hain thoda saa hatt jaatey ek jagah se toh story mein bahot improvements aa shakti thi..
Points: 6.5/10
Story : Papa ki Ghadi
Written by: AbhaySmarty
Read the story: here
Review:Overview :- Shayad Aap par hindi cinema ka gehra prabhav hai ..shayad isliye Ramadhir Singh ne kaha tha ki jab tak cinema hai log chutiya bante rahege..Storyline thodi weak thi ..next time jara mehnat kariyega …khair it’s a brilliant effort with some emotion ..I appreciate it … Pros :-Rony ka jajba jo hai na story me kabile-tarif hai …kuchh karne ki jo lalak hai na uske andar vo story ki puri jaan hai or uss palak ko tumne ek professional writer ki tarah dikhaaya hai that is brilliant.…vahi puri story ka plus point hai Cons :- Kai saare scene to itne khinche the ki reader bore ho jaye ..short story me itne detailed scene nahi hote.. Kaafi scenes ko apne acche se imagine nahi kiya.. But this was better then your previous story like a lot better agar uss plot ko isski tarah aaram se likhtey toh bahot he awesome story hoti..
Points: 5.5/10
Story : Angel Priya
Written by: Rahul
Read the story: here
Review: Overview :- Writer ne apne naam ke hisab se he story likhi hai ..Ek badhiya koshish thi dikhane ki online pyar bahut bekar hota hai ….Real life is better than Reel life Pros :- Rahul ne Story likhi :bow::bow: Cons:- Thodi lambi likh dete ..
Points: 6.5/10
Story : Fake Feminism
Written by: Akki333
Read the story: here
Review:Overview :- Plot accha chuna tha, par details gayab thi. Happy Ending jaruri nahi thi par Story ki ending to jaruri thi na saheb, koshish acchi thi .. Best Part :-Topic accha tha bahot he important topic hai ye aaj k time mein or iske uppar bolna yaa likhna bahot he behtarin baat hai.. Or flow bhi badiya chal raha tha …narration bhi accha tha or fir Its’her choice .. Cons :- Itne acche topic ko itne short me nipta diya ki kya kahun samjah nahi aa raha ..story ka moral aur motive explain nahi kar paaye … Better luck for next time
Points: 5.5/10
Story :Ek Pyas
Written by: Love For You
Read the story: here
Review:Overview :- Story ka title dekhkar laga ki ye koi prem ki pyas hogi jo shayad na bujhi ho par ye to hawas ki daastaan thi …:jerker: Pros :- Kaafi unique plot chuna aapne i give you that bahot hard rehtey hain iss type k plot.. Cons:- As a Reader aapki skills se jyaada humein apni imagination par nirbhar rehna padda jo buri baat hai ..Insect without emotion .. Waiting for better story for next time
Points: 6.5/10
Story : Respect the Cruel Truth
Written by: Baban
Read the story: here
Review:Overview:- Story ka plot achaa chuna gaya tha ..Or aapne ise achha roop dene ka try kiya..Story kaa message jo tha vo strong tha .. Pros:-Sabse acchi baat thi ki aapne us sach ko ujagar karne ka pryash kiya jo ki is samaaj mein kanhi chhupa hua hai jise log maananey se inkar kar dete hain …Flow aur narration badiya tha Cons :- Topic behtareen hone ke bawjood bhi aap uske sath nyay nahi kar paye ..ye story ki jagah ek conversation ka roop le gayi bich bich mein ....dialouge aur scene jyada dramatic nahi they …well Good effort :claps:
Points: 6.5/10
Story : Chori Chori Chupke Chupke
Written by: manikmittalme07
Read the story: here
Review:Overview:- ye plot long story ke liye perfect tha…bejijhak main keh shakta hoon ki aapki writing skills shaandaar hain..aur story bhi badiya hai…flow aur narration bhi jabrdast hai Pros:--Moral of the Story hai ki Har Kisi ko karmo ka phall bhugatana padta hai …skills to badhiya thi ….Short mein each and every scene is described beautifully … Cons:- Kahani ke sex scene thode chhote they :bat: Hawas ka scope thoda kam hai short stories me ..Lekin Plot galat chunn liya aapne woh passand nahi aaya..
Points: 6.5/10
Story : Anokha bandhan
Written by: Rahul
Read the story: here
Review:Overview :- Plot achha tha ..likha bhi accha tha par lack of narration ne story ka kachra kar diya ..Puri tarah se to nahi par kar diya Achha likhtey ho serious hokar likhoge toh story achha banega …is story me last ka suspence bhi accha tha …ek doosre ka dil bhi toda ..:claps: Pros :- Plot tune mast chuna bhai …ynha tak ki starting ka scene bhi bahut acche se describe kiya …Or last ki jo line thi """ ye dono puri duniya ke logon me ghus gaye.aaj bhi riya aur akash bhatak rahe hain duniya me aur ek dusre ka dil tod rahe hain lagataar.lekin kab tak yun suhane sapne dekhkar log dilon se khelte rahegen ek na ek din iska ant hona hi hai aur fir pyar ki barsaat hogi jisme sab doob jayegen""" Dil khus kar diya …thoda sa aur dhyan de bhai …accha karega Cons :- Narration par dhyan de aur short ki jagah thoda detailed scene likho …words limit hai..scene ki nahi .
Points: 7.5/10
Story : Déjà vu
Written by: Niks77Kill
Read the story: here
Review: Oveview:- Plot humessa ki tarah aapka jabrdast tha. Aise idea par story likhna hi badi baat hoti hai par story mein loopholes bahut hain …Title ke hissab se ek Déjà vu..par ye time loop tha ..ek confusion sa kar diya ..Narration accha tha ..flow jabrdast tha …padhne ke sath romanch badh raha tha, par ending ne thoda nirash kiya …Overall it’s a good story... Pros :- Jo scene aap timeloop me baar baar dikha rahe they woh badiya they …woh story ke flow ko maintain rakhne me kamyab rahe ..Jai ka double face bhi ek accha suspence tha Cons : -Confusion sa kar diya DejaVu ,Time Loop ya kuchh aur ….shayad suspence create karna caah rahe hoge aap …aur isliye ye story ka negative point raha ..
Points: 7.5/10
Story : Wasle Yar ke Din
Written by: Prince Sahil
Read the story: here
Review: Overview:- Ye Kahani nahi, ek aisa lamha tha un do logo k beech jo shayad kanhi gum ho gaye they un lamho ko sametane ke liye aapne jin shabdo ka use kiya hai woh sarahaniya hai … Pros:- Jo jajbaat aakhir mein beh gaye naa wahi toh ishq hai na ..jise aap dikhana caah rahe they... Cons :- Bhaasha thodi sahaj aur saral hoti to jyada behtar lagti kaafi awkward bana diya aapne story ko..
Points: 9/10
Story : Amulya Tohfa
Written by: Milan2010
Read the story: here
Review: Overview:-Milan Bhai pehle to main aapko congrats karunga ki aapne aise topic par focus kiya jo duniya ke liye, humaare samaj ke liye bahut hi jyada jaruri hai hhm insano ki sabse jyada buri aadat kya hai ki hum khud kuchh nahi karna caahtey hain agar paid lagaane ki baat hai toh hum khud nahi lagayenge balki ye umeed karenge ki koi aur ye kaam kare aur isi wajah se aaj hum vinash ki taraf agrasar hain aapne jo kahani likhi woh insan ke issi swarth ko dikhata hai. …Iss story mein aapke 2 tarah k skills dikhe ek toh typical Old evergreen Milan bhai Like Strange world waali feeling secondly you went above your comfort zone that was very good to see.. Pros :- Strong Storyline thi …aapka narration accha tha ..flow behtreen tha …aapne ye kahani romanch paida karne ke liye nahi likhi thi ek strong message tha humaare aane vale bhavishya ke liye aapne use bhahut acche se dikhaya hai ..Everyone knows about your skills but here you went way beyond your skills this story was a gem Milan bhai. Cons :- You know itani sab achi cheejon k baad bhi mujhe kuch missing laga story mein lekin kya?? Kyunki, story mein Sab kuch tha.. Toh the thing that was missing was the flow. For me it was little bit weak that how you went with the The ending .. Thats it rest all fantastic.. Superb story.
PART - B (From Story 16-29)
Points: 6/10Story : Dil Ki Tarap Written by: Lucky Boy Read the story: here
Review:Overwiew :- Plot thoda interesting tha interesting nahi uljhaa hua bolna theek rahega ladke ko Pehli ladki se pyaar woh bigadi hui ladki then Dusari ladki ko ladke se pyaar then sabka sath rehna then ladki ko kissi or se pyaar.. :confused:Pros - dialouges kaafi sahi lage mujhe aapke I know dialogues bahot Kam they or spelling mistakes bahot jyaada thi unmein lekin fir bhi dialogues or delivery k time emotion jo they woh kaafi sahi they.. Cons:- Sabse pehle toh spelling mistakes ki baat karein toh woh bahot jyaada thi like bahot he jyaada maybe aapko hindi likhne mein problem aati hogi jo hota hai. Then aapne story ko jo bhagaaya hai woh mujhe acha nahi laga. Sab kuch fast forward mode mein chala specially story k start mein jissne story ko kaafi weak Banaa diya.. Next time aap apna time lijiye Spelling mistakes k liye kuch or stories padhiye Xforum k uppar jisase aapko thoda dhyaan rahe ki kahan kya aaega. Also thoda slow likhiye readers ko samjh aana caahiye.
Points: 8.5/10Story : परा विद्या Written by: Nain11sterRead the story: here
Review:Overwiew - Main suru se soch raha tha ki kaash mujhe iss contest mein kuch alag saa padhne kaa mouke Mille, or aapne meri woh khwaaish puri kardi iss story k jariye.. Sach kahun toh plot bahot high level kaa tha lekin bahot he tricky tha like ek he time par bahot si cheejein horahi thi jissne plot ko uljhaa diya.. Pros- Mere liye sabse best iss story mein jo cheej thi woh thi Pehli toh Kaalikaa kaa jo intro hua start mein jo detail mein aapne discription diya hai waah Janaab waah maja aagaya.. Then Kaalikaa kaa character mere liye bahot acha tha sabse pehle uski sundarta dekhne ko milti hai uske baad usse as a Police officer show kiya gaya then usse ek garhelu ladki ki tarah bhi show kiya gaya jahaan usse dekhne ladke waale aaein hain uske baad uske Jadui roop ko dikhaya gaya then usko as a lover dikhaya gaya or maanana padega harr role mein aapne usko behtreen darshaaya hai jo bahot he sarhaaniya hai.. Then aapki sudh Hindi waah Janaab waah maja aagaya.. Cons-Jaisa maine kahaa plot tha toh sahi lekin tricky tha uske sath - 2 jab starting mein aapne murder scene se suruwaat ki toh mujhe laga thodi investigations dekhne ko millegi jo nahi hui as aapne usko turant nipta diya jo main samjh shakta hun word limit kaa Kamaal hai but mere hissab se woh part baaki k kuch hisse se important tha jo aana caahiye tha story mein.. Issliye mujhe lagta hai ye story aapko as a long story likhni caahiye thi iss plot mein bahot jyaada potential hai jo ek short story mein nikal kar nahi aaraha hai.. Kyunki sab horaha hai samjh bhi aaraha hai lekin uske piche kaa hissa nahi logical lag raha hai ki hogaya but kyun?i don't know aap samjhe honge ye last line but as a reader mujhe Aisa laga ki ye ek long story honi caahiye for sure..Or kuch words hain jo English mein likhe in hain aapne jo mujhe bahot awkward laga I know unka hindi meaning bahot atpatta hoga lekin aapki story mein or words hain jo unse bhi atppatey hain toh aapko woh hindi he use karni caahiye thi ye best rehta.. .
Points: 7/10Story : भूख (NC) Written by: PARADOXRead the story: here
Review:Overwiew - Pardeep in Devnagri waah :adore:. Bahot he khubsurati se likha hai hindi ko tumne I give you that.. Pros- Kaafi achaa plot tha typical Indian family type plot tha jo thoda common hai aajkal but still tumne kaafi kuch add kiya isme jisase ye plot baaki typical plots se hattke bana.. Then thakur k scene ko kaafi Hattke dikhaaya tumne jisase or interesting bani story.. Cons-Bahot jaldbaaji dikhaai tumne start mein Sab jaldi jaldi nipta diya jabki wahan bahot kuch adhura reh gaya.. Next time thoda saa wait karke likho taaki kuch chuttey naa..
Points: 6.5/10Story : Jehad(ek insan ki kahani)Written by: Dinu Dracula Read the story: here
Review:Overwiew :- A story with a unique plot and a strong message. Pros- Story started on a positive note.. Plot kaafi strong tha.. Jehad k baare mein kaafi interesting baatein bataai hain aapne I appreciate that.. Cons-Message bahot sahi tha lekin woh message readers talk pohanchaaney mein naakaamyaab rahe aap.. Start strong thi but ending bahot weak thi..
Points: 8/10Story : हवस से प्रेम तक Written by: ChutiyadrRead the story: here
Review: Overview :- A story full of emotions and a strong message.. Inshort a roller-coaster ride full of Emotions.. A strong plot and excellent narration. Pros- This story makes me want to read more of your stories for me this one was way better then your other story even on of my fellow judges don't agree with me on this one but for two of us this one was awesome. Hariya or Sunita kaa character bahot he shaandaar tareeke se show kiya hai aapne dono ko parallel chalaatey hue Kahaani ko aage badhaaya well done .. Is Kahaani mein aapne Achaai or Buraai dono he cheejon ko bahut he ache se dikhayaa hai.... Cons - The character buildup was little bit slow(Other then Hariya and Sunita ofcourse) . Also story mein bahot saari cheejein ek sath dikhaai hain jiski wajah se ek confusion create horaha hai basically a bubble of imagination was made for readers.. Or story ko ek he jagah revolve kiya hai aapne jiski wajah se reader bandh se gaye ussi jagah par.. Rest was fine..
Points: 6.5/10Story : हीरो Written by: ag86Read the story: here
Review:Overwiew :- A story full of action. Plot kaafi common tha you know typical movie waala plot but still you made this story awesome on your own.That makes it an amazing story.. Pros:- Character development kaafi sahi tha.. Narration bahot he sahi tha story kaa.. STart was Strong and you carried that start till the end.. Cons:- Story was full of dialouges jiski wajah se baaki cheejein missing lagi lekin dialouges bhi thode se boring they jiski wajah se flow weak hogaya middle mein.. Detailing missing thi like kuch parts thode or describe karne they..
Points: 7.5/10Story : Pyar karti ho mujhseWritten by: Adirishi. Read the story: here
Review:Overview :- Ek pyaari si romantic story.. "Love Has No boundaries" iss quote ko sahi saabit karti hui chalti hai story.. Pros:- Excellent selection of theme.. Narration aapka as usual on point tha he.. Jafer or Ragani k characters ko bahot he baareeki se show kiya hai.. Character development was amazing.. The message was sent very loud and clear.. Cons:- Plot thoda Bollywood type tha but still you tried your best to carry the plot with your skills lekin fir bhi missing thi kuch cheejein... Flow missing tha specially jiss flow se start ki thi story usko follow nahi kar paae Adi bhai aap..
Points: 7/10Story : खोया हुआ प्यारWritten by: ag86Read the story: here
Review:Overwiew :- This Plot was very unique way different then your other story.. Narration was on point during the whole story.. Pros:The Sweetness of the relationship was the best part of this story.. Sneha and Rohan's character buildup was amazing.. Cons - The conversation part was left out. Dialouge delivery was weak..You started on a strong but you failed to carry it till the end. Characters were on point but there presence was not on point..
Points: 7/10Story : AgniparikshaWritten by: AdirshiRead the story: here
Review:Overview :- A story based on rape of a married woman and her screams haunt down reader's innerself.. Pros- Story gives a mammoth level insight of societie's current situation and that message is very well delivered by the writer.. Cons : I expected a little more insight of the narrator. Ending was super weak kyunki main title k hissab se bahot he alag ending soch k padhne laga tha..
Points: 6/10Story : Ek adhuri kahaniWritten by: QUASAR Read the story: here
Review:Overwiew :- Story started with a poor boys life, writer tried to give something unique ending but ended not giving it.. Pros : Story goes with flow that catches our attention.Start was very strong that buildup was pretty good.. Cons : Disappointed in ending, writer couldn't keep the flow till the end..
Points: 7.5/10Story : लॉकडाउन - एक सज़ाWritten by: Rockstar_rocky Read the story: here
Review: Overview :- Story ne lockdown me garib majduro ke halat bayaan kiye he. You have really good narration skills I give you that.. Pros - Story mein har chij ko detail mein likha gaya he, ek baap ki khuddari dikhai he. Jo best part tha woh tha emotions of the characters woh behtarin they.. Cons- We expected some other twist in end but it's all right. Flow maintain nahi kar paae Rocky bhai kuch parts mein jiski wajah se story bikhari hui lagi bich mein.. Overall a pretty good story..
PART - C (From Story 30-49)
Points: 6/10Story : Ritu RajWritten by: Shubham Kumar Read the story: here
Review:Overall:- story Kaafi sahi thi, spelling mistakes kam they jaisa ki kam dekhne ko milta hai, story ne apna flow barkaraar rakha end tak.Pros : Story ke saath ghazal ne story ka weightage badhaya aur story flow ke saath chalti rahi. Cons : Concept still old laga drunken hero missing for years then reappeared. Thoda saa repeated laga jiski wajah se story slow rahi.
Points: 6/10Story : Adhura BandhanWritten by: Mr. raj1100 Read the story: here
Review:Overall:- Plot was pretty nice. But This story is incomplete, writer was supposed to write a proper ending. Pros - Writer tried to maintain flow of story, with good starting and then middle part was prett good..Cons - Ending was pretty weak for the plot and also kaafi typos thi story mein..
Points: 6.5/10Story : रंगीन रातों का हसीन सफरWritten by: Mr Sexy Webee Read the story: here
Review:Overall a new adult story with common narration style. Agar storyline me koi twist hota to aur bhi badhiya bann shakti thi.Pros : Story flow ke saath aage badhi he, kahi pe ruki nahi i mean flow tutta nahi kahin jiski wajah se story read karne mein alag he maja hota hai. Cons : Same, plot new nahi hai . Story ka narration plane n simple tha jo thoda repeating laga.. Or Emotions missing they..
Points: 5/10Story : Mere HumsafarWritten by: Fighter Read the story: here
Review:Overview :- Lots of spelling mistakes, overall story padhne ke baad lag raha he jese last minute pe likhi ho I mean time kam tha yaa jaldbaaji ki aapne.. Pros- A story with pretty good ending that is key nowadays because ending is missing in most stories..Cons- needs a lot of improvements specially typos and dialouge deliveries..
Points: 5.5/10Story : Apna nasib Written by: Lucky lerkaRead the story: here
Review:Overview :- A story with a little morale.. Story aur bhi achhi hoti agar spelling mistakes na hoti. Pros- Flow kaafi sahi tha. Story ko end tak pohonchaya gaya hai same flow mein.. Start kaafi strong ki aapne..Cons- Spelling mistakes bohot hui he, plot me kuchh changes jaruri lage specially endings par work karna jaruri Hai aapko..
Points: 7.5/10Story : Karma Written by: DamhaRead the story: here
Review: Overview :- Ek story jo apne title ko dhyaan mein rakh ke kafi achhe se likhi gayi.. Really appreciate you going out of the way to write a quality story..Pros - Story flow ke saath bani rahi he end tak. Spelling mistakes almost 0 they jo kaafi sahi laga flow k sath. Message jo aapne diya woh 100% sahi hai.. As they say Karma is a bitch..Cons - Story me kuchh scenes unwanted lage. End aur detailing ke saath ho sakta tha jo mujhe jaruri laga lekin uske baawjud Great story..
Points: 6.5/10Story : UNFAITHFUL AND ALCOHOLIC Written by: The Blue PrinceRead the story: here
Review:Overwiew :- Story Padhte waqt readers ko ek baar sahi me lagta he ke wife main culprit he, par end alag he laga.Pros- A new story with different plot, story flow ke saath bani rahi. Also kaafi dialouges ki wajah se jo comic timing nikal k aai woh bahot he funny thi..Cons - End explain kiya hota to story aur achhi ban sakti thi mujhe laga end thoda jaldbaaji mein kiya gaya jiski wajah se story slow hogayi ekdum se..
Points: 7.5/10Story : AJAB CORONA MEIN GHAJAB SHADIWritten by: manikmittalme07Read the story: here
Review:Overwiew :- An unique story with expected but still enjoyable ending. Story has been written beautifully by narrator.Pros - An unique plot with good narration skills. Story never left its flow. Deepak or Shruti k characters kaafi interesting dikhaaya hai aapne. Or jo message aapne dikhaaya hai woh kaafi important hai.Cons - At starting readers may get a lil touchy for Maya but rest of story is all right. Also message bahot he important tha but usse show karne mein thoda piche reh gaye aap...
Points: 7.5/10Story : BalidaanWritten by: Dark BloodRead the story: here
Review:Overview :- A good story of sacrifice of elder brother for his sister. Narration is really good and without any grammatical mistakes. Pros - Story has given a good suspense towards Harsh because of his nature, and along with new plot writer has managed to maintain flow of story. Cons - Plot thoda repeating laga you know Bollywood movies type jiski wajah se thoda ajeeb lagi story.. But overall kaafi sahi story thi.
Points: 7.5/10Story : FirautiWritten by: Indian Princess Read the story: here
Review:Overview :- Another story with new plot and twist. Writer sahiba ne appreciable story likhi hai, aur end shocking but funny hai Aniket kaa character kaafi interesting way mein describe kiya hai.. Or best part aapne apne comfort zone se hattke story likhne kaa try kiya.. I was expecting a way different story from you :wink:.. Pros - Story has an unexpected ending which is awesome for a suspense story.. I loved the way you described The whole scenario with Aniket and Atmaram that was pretty good..Cons - Bichmein Story suspense generate karne mein safal nahi hui.. Also kuch scenes thode awkward lage in comparison to rest of the story.. Specially Atmaran kaa character buildup.. Thodi or lambi ho shakti thi story like thoda or confusion generate kar shakti thi aap. But still an excellent story..
Points: 5.5/10Story : Barshaat ki raatWritten by: Ayush2017 Read the story: here
Review:Overview :-A story with a proper plot and improper ending, question is what was writers intentions behind writing over this plot? If the intention was suspense then writer failed to achieve that but if the intention was to write a enjoyable story for readers then you pretty much succeeded in that one.. Pros : Story seems to be completed as i said an well written entertainer.. Cons : Questionable ending and behavior of characters was awkward and not upto the standards of the story..
Points: 5.5/10Story : Ek qatil haseenaWritten by: Maq Read the story: here
Review: A story with emotional starting, but then looks like lost cause in the end.. Pros: Starting me story reality based lagi. Thoda aur improve kiya ja sakta tha lekin you tried your best.. Cons : Flow barkaraar rakhne me writer ko aur mehnat karni chahiye thi.
Points: 7.5/10Story : निकिता ...... डर का एहसास Written by: NiharikaRead the story: here
Review:Overwiew :- Writer ne ek Ancient-Modern fantasy story ka ek badhiya example pesh kiya he. Story ka end kya hoga ye sabko pata tha par fir bhi aage jake kuchh unexpected hoga ye aasha bhi thi. Pros - Story ne apna flow banaye rakha aur story ko apne anjaam tak pohonchaya hai writer ne.. Cons - Line gap maintain karna chahiye tha typos ki wajah se story ko understand karne mein kaafi problems hui readers ko..
Points: 7.5/10Story : Kanch Ka Gharonda……Written by: nain11sterRead the story: here
Review:Overwiew :- Story ki shuruat ek middle class family se hoti he aur shabdo ke khel me wo aaj ki generation ki samzane ki kshamata pe rukti hai. Kaafi rare topic pick kiya aapne jo aapse expected tha as you are a brilliant writer.Pros- Story dimag ke liye ek khurak hai aur ek future ke liye message also jo message aap deliver karna caahtey ho woh bahot he ache se deliver kiya aapne.Cons- Readers ko jaha Mishra parivaar ke example me intrest laga padhne me unko end me disappointment lagi also as mentioned in the title ye story naa hokar Vayang lagi jo buri baat nahi hai but still it changes the perspective of us reading the story..
Points: 7/10Story : THE ROUTINE - A “SIMPLE” LIFEWritten by: NIKS96Read the story: here
Review:Overwiew :- Story ek film ki tarah cut scenes mein likhi he jaise kisi film ki script ho cut by cut. Story me ek baap bete ke bich ka rishta dikhaya hai.. Pros- Story may give a little chill about old man's behavior towards mohan, and then his past. Cons - Because story has been written like script of movie, it allows readers to focus only on both characters but not rest of environment.
Points: 7.5/10Story : शहर की लड़की Written by: Ashokafun30Read the story: here
Review:Overwiew :-A story which starts from a girls dual life and her fantasies.Interesting Plot i must say.. Cons : Best part for me was erotic scenes in the story plus jo devnagri mein flow maintain kiya hai aapne woh kaabile taareef hai.. Cons : A twist or better ending was expected from the writer also ye plot mere hissab se ek long story mein better rehta jahaan aap isko or details mein likh shaktey they.. But at the end it was an enjoyable story..
Points: 7.5/10Story : फक्त एक ख्वाहिश Written by: fountain_penRead the story: here
Review:Overview :- Story ka plot bakiyo se puri tarah alag he, story padhte samay readers ke man me ek alag ending create hui ho par ending twist pura alag hai. Interesting choice of words..Cons- Story ka flow shuruvat se lekar ant tak barkarar hai par jo end twist hai wo readers ke liye alag hai.. Cons - word limit ke wajah se shayad story incomplete si lagi, kai readers padhne ke baad confused they because thoda awkward Banaa diya end mein story ko..
Points: 7/10Story : HORROR HOSPITAL Written by: DamhaRead the story: here
Review:Overwiew :- Story ek family value pe based hai jisme maa baap ek virtual life aur baki chijo me vyast hai. Aur unki jindagi mein aaya ye twist bohot kuchh badal deta he. Cons - Story gives a moral lesson along with a little taste of thrill. Cons- Story me kuchh improvements aur hoti jaise character details, dialogues between parents and childrens or tragedy of hospital then story aur behtar hoti..
PART - A (From Story 1-15)
Review:Overview-: there are some loopholes in this story, like lack of emotion ,narration,Maybe ye ek acchi story ho sakti thi par shayad aapko jaldbaji jyada thi story post karne ki..so spelling mistakes bhi bahut hain..Lekin the better thing is you are the first one to post the story in the contest most people hesitate to post first in contests :D so I'll give you that. Pros :-Plot accha tha aur aapne likhane ki koshish bhi bahut achhe se ki hai..Aapka effort accha tha uppar se agar hum ending ko hataa dein toh baaki time story kaa flow nahi tutta.. Cons :-dialouge aise lag rahe the jaise koi sentence likha ja raha hai …Ending mein toota phoota flow tha ..Narration kaafi weak thi so you need to work on your dialouge delivery and Narration and you'll be a whole new writer.. Best of Luck for future Stories
Review: Overview :- I was always a fan of your writing Harshit bhai you are a legend in my personal opinion. Or jiss jagah aapne focus kiya hai iss story mein woh behad he important or dil dehla dene waala portion hai iss samaaj kaa jiske baare mein vichaar sabke pass hain lekin koi iske baare mein karna kuch nahi caahta.. Pros- Your Plot was fantastic as always also a lot different then others that was a bonus for you..The narration was as usual awesome thi aapki jiss flow se aapne suruwaat ki waa! maja he aagaya.. Cons-As I said you are a legend in my opinion lekin iss baar mujhe bahot kamiyaan dikhi aapki story mein jo rare hai bahot rare Specially typos I never expected that much typos from your side i think ye jaldi post karne ki wajah se hua hai..Secondly aapne story ko 2 portions mein baant diya in terms of flow and emotions start mein dono he cheejein behtarin thi like over the top lekin end mein aap woh flow or emotions carry nahi kar paae jiss wajah se story ki jo sadness hai woh awkwardness mein badal gayi because of the emotions not following the plot of the story.. I really appreciate you going ahead with this topic Harshit bhai as always a pleasure to read your stories and a proud moment for me to be able to judge it.. Hats Off Harshit Bhai..
Review:Overview :- It’s readable suspense thriller with few spelling mistake …Plot bahut umda tha … Pros :- Ek Serial Killing story hmesha majedar hoti hai ..padhte waqt kanhi boriyat nahi lagi ..Reporter ko jaal me fasaane ka tarika bhi behtar tha ..Story ka flow behtar tha Overall Ekacchi story thi .. Cons:- As a reader Suspence jyada thrill nahi jaga paaya …Flow ke sath narration better hota to story jyada thrill karti…Reporter best tha par vo itni asani se fans gya vo bachkana laga..
Review: by Overview-: ? ? Ye ek aisi kahani thi jise padkar logo ko rishtey ki ahmiyat ke bare me samjhna chahiye …:bow:Pros :- Achaanak se aayi rishton me kadwaahat ko kis tarah se sambhaalna chahiye woh is kahani me bakhoobhi dikhaya hai ..story ki khoobsurati uski sahaj aur saral bhasha hai ..superb : Cons :- Kahani mein aur bhi bahut kuch kiya ja sakta tha specially plot ko tum thoda or khinch shaktey they …As a reader hamesha yahi siqayat rahegi All the best for your future Stories ..you are a good writer ..waiting for more from your side
Review:Overview:-Ek Dark Comedy with naked sensation. Padhkar maja aata agar Storyline thodi acchi hoti..Sirf ek point ke upar kahani likhna vo bhi bina kisi sense ke, aapse umeed nahi thi Dr Sahab..Waise aapki writing skills ke upar koi sandeh nahi hai, aapne uska istemal acche se kiya hai ..Emotions aur sense dono gayab they story se.. Pros:- Comdey likhna apne aap mein plus point hota hai because readers ko kuch bhi passand hi like Thriller, Romance yaa adultery usme humessa comedy hota he hai…Aapka narration aur flow dono jabrdast they … Worst Part of the Story :- Emotion aur Sense dono hi Negative point hain thoda saa hatt jaatey ek jagah se toh story mein bahot improvements aa shakti thi..
Review:Overview :- Shayad Aap par hindi cinema ka gehra prabhav hai ..shayad isliye Ramadhir Singh ne kaha tha ki jab tak cinema hai log chutiya bante rahege..Storyline thodi weak thi ..next time jara mehnat kariyega …khair it’s a brilliant effort with some emotion ..I appreciate it … Pros :-Rony ka jajba jo hai na story me kabile-tarif hai …kuchh karne ki jo lalak hai na uske andar vo story ki puri jaan hai or uss palak ko tumne ek professional writer ki tarah dikhaaya hai that is brilliant.…vahi puri story ka plus point hai Cons :- Kai saare scene to itne khinche the ki reader bore ho jaye ..short story me itne detailed scene nahi hote.. Kaafi scenes ko apne acche se imagine nahi kiya.. But this was better then your previous story like a lot better agar uss plot ko isski tarah aaram se likhtey toh bahot he awesome story hoti..
Review: Overview :- Writer ne apne naam ke hisab se he story likhi hai ..Ek badhiya koshish thi dikhane ki online pyar bahut bekar hota hai ….Real life is better than Reel life Pros :- Rahul ne Story likhi :bow::bow: Cons:- Thodi lambi likh dete ..
Review:Overview :- Plot accha chuna tha, par details gayab thi. Happy Ending jaruri nahi thi par Story ki ending to jaruri thi na saheb, koshish acchi thi .. Best Part :-Topic accha tha bahot he important topic hai ye aaj k time mein or iske uppar bolna yaa likhna bahot he behtarin baat hai.. Or flow bhi badiya chal raha tha …narration bhi accha tha or fir Its’her choice .. Cons :- Itne acche topic ko itne short me nipta diya ki kya kahun samjah nahi aa raha ..story ka moral aur motive explain nahi kar paaye … Better luck for next time
Review:Overview :- Story ka title dekhkar laga ki ye koi prem ki pyas hogi jo shayad na bujhi ho par ye to hawas ki daastaan thi …:jerker: Pros :- Kaafi unique plot chuna aapne i give you that bahot hard rehtey hain iss type k plot.. Cons:- As a Reader aapki skills se jyaada humein apni imagination par nirbhar rehna padda jo buri baat hai ..Insect without emotion .. Waiting for better story for next time
Review:Overview:- Story ka plot achaa chuna gaya tha ..Or aapne ise achha roop dene ka try kiya..Story kaa message jo tha vo strong tha .. Pros:-Sabse acchi baat thi ki aapne us sach ko ujagar karne ka pryash kiya jo ki is samaaj mein kanhi chhupa hua hai jise log maananey se inkar kar dete hain …Flow aur narration badiya tha Cons :- Topic behtareen hone ke bawjood bhi aap uske sath nyay nahi kar paye ..ye story ki jagah ek conversation ka roop le gayi bich bich mein ....dialouge aur scene jyada dramatic nahi they …well Good effort :claps:
Review:Overview:- ye plot long story ke liye perfect tha…bejijhak main keh shakta hoon ki aapki writing skills shaandaar hain..aur story bhi badiya hai…flow aur narration bhi jabrdast hai Pros:--Moral of the Story hai ki Har Kisi ko karmo ka phall bhugatana padta hai …skills to badhiya thi ….Short mein each and every scene is described beautifully … Cons:- Kahani ke sex scene thode chhote they :bat: Hawas ka scope thoda kam hai short stories me ..Lekin Plot galat chunn liya aapne woh passand nahi aaya..
Review:Overview :- Plot achha tha ..likha bhi accha tha par lack of narration ne story ka kachra kar diya ..Puri tarah se to nahi par kar diya Achha likhtey ho serious hokar likhoge toh story achha banega …is story me last ka suspence bhi accha tha …ek doosre ka dil bhi toda ..:claps: Pros :- Plot tune mast chuna bhai …ynha tak ki starting ka scene bhi bahut acche se describe kiya …Or last ki jo line thi """ ye dono puri duniya ke logon me ghus gaye.aaj bhi riya aur akash bhatak rahe hain duniya me aur ek dusre ka dil tod rahe hain lagataar.lekin kab tak yun suhane sapne dekhkar log dilon se khelte rahegen ek na ek din iska ant hona hi hai aur fir pyar ki barsaat hogi jisme sab doob jayegen""" Dil khus kar diya …thoda sa aur dhyan de bhai …accha karega Cons :- Narration par dhyan de aur short ki jagah thoda detailed scene likho …words limit hai..scene ki nahi .
Review: Oveview:- Plot humessa ki tarah aapka jabrdast tha. Aise idea par story likhna hi badi baat hoti hai par story mein loopholes bahut hain …Title ke hissab se ek Déjà vu..par ye time loop tha ..ek confusion sa kar diya ..Narration accha tha ..flow jabrdast tha …padhne ke sath romanch badh raha tha, par ending ne thoda nirash kiya …Overall it’s a good story... Pros :- Jo scene aap timeloop me baar baar dikha rahe they woh badiya they …woh story ke flow ko maintain rakhne me kamyab rahe ..Jai ka double face bhi ek accha suspence tha Cons : -Confusion sa kar diya DejaVu ,Time Loop ya kuchh aur ….shayad suspence create karna caah rahe hoge aap …aur isliye ye story ka negative point raha ..
Review: Overview:- Ye Kahani nahi, ek aisa lamha tha un do logo k beech jo shayad kanhi gum ho gaye they un lamho ko sametane ke liye aapne jin shabdo ka use kiya hai woh sarahaniya hai … Pros:- Jo jajbaat aakhir mein beh gaye naa wahi toh ishq hai na ..jise aap dikhana caah rahe they... Cons :- Bhaasha thodi sahaj aur saral hoti to jyada behtar lagti kaafi awkward bana diya aapne story ko..
Review: Overview:-Milan Bhai pehle to main aapko congrats karunga ki aapne aise topic par focus kiya jo duniya ke liye, humaare samaj ke liye bahut hi jyada jaruri hai hhm insano ki sabse jyada buri aadat kya hai ki hum khud kuchh nahi karna caahtey hain agar paid lagaane ki baat hai toh hum khud nahi lagayenge balki ye umeed karenge ki koi aur ye kaam kare aur isi wajah se aaj hum vinash ki taraf agrasar hain aapne jo kahani likhi woh insan ke issi swarth ko dikhata hai. …Iss story mein aapke 2 tarah k skills dikhe ek toh typical Old evergreen Milan bhai Like Strange world waali feeling secondly you went above your comfort zone that was very good to see.. Pros :- Strong Storyline thi …aapka narration accha tha ..flow behtreen tha …aapne ye kahani romanch paida karne ke liye nahi likhi thi ek strong message tha humaare aane vale bhavishya ke liye aapne use bhahut acche se dikhaya hai ..Everyone knows about your skills but here you went way beyond your skills this story was a gem Milan bhai. Cons :- You know itani sab achi cheejon k baad bhi mujhe kuch missing laga story mein lekin kya?? Kyunki, story mein Sab kuch tha.. Toh the thing that was missing was the flow. For me it was little bit weak that how you went with the The ending .. Thats it rest all fantastic.. Superb story.
PART - B (From Story 16-29)
Review:Overwiew :- Plot thoda interesting tha interesting nahi uljhaa hua bolna theek rahega ladke ko Pehli ladki se pyaar woh bigadi hui ladki then Dusari ladki ko ladke se pyaar then sabka sath rehna then ladki ko kissi or se pyaar.. :confused:Pros - dialouges kaafi sahi lage mujhe aapke I know dialogues bahot Kam they or spelling mistakes bahot jyaada thi unmein lekin fir bhi dialogues or delivery k time emotion jo they woh kaafi sahi they.. Cons:- Sabse pehle toh spelling mistakes ki baat karein toh woh bahot jyaada thi like bahot he jyaada maybe aapko hindi likhne mein problem aati hogi jo hota hai. Then aapne story ko jo bhagaaya hai woh mujhe acha nahi laga. Sab kuch fast forward mode mein chala specially story k start mein jissne story ko kaafi weak Banaa diya.. Next time aap apna time lijiye Spelling mistakes k liye kuch or stories padhiye Xforum k uppar jisase aapko thoda dhyaan rahe ki kahan kya aaega. Also thoda slow likhiye readers ko samjh aana caahiye.
Review:Overwiew - Main suru se soch raha tha ki kaash mujhe iss contest mein kuch alag saa padhne kaa mouke Mille, or aapne meri woh khwaaish puri kardi iss story k jariye.. Sach kahun toh plot bahot high level kaa tha lekin bahot he tricky tha like ek he time par bahot si cheejein horahi thi jissne plot ko uljhaa diya.. Pros- Mere liye sabse best iss story mein jo cheej thi woh thi Pehli toh Kaalikaa kaa jo intro hua start mein jo detail mein aapne discription diya hai waah Janaab waah maja aagaya.. Then Kaalikaa kaa character mere liye bahot acha tha sabse pehle uski sundarta dekhne ko milti hai uske baad usse as a Police officer show kiya gaya then usse ek garhelu ladki ki tarah bhi show kiya gaya jahaan usse dekhne ladke waale aaein hain uske baad uske Jadui roop ko dikhaya gaya then usko as a lover dikhaya gaya or maanana padega harr role mein aapne usko behtreen darshaaya hai jo bahot he sarhaaniya hai.. Then aapki sudh Hindi waah Janaab waah maja aagaya.. Cons-Jaisa maine kahaa plot tha toh sahi lekin tricky tha uske sath - 2 jab starting mein aapne murder scene se suruwaat ki toh mujhe laga thodi investigations dekhne ko millegi jo nahi hui as aapne usko turant nipta diya jo main samjh shakta hun word limit kaa Kamaal hai but mere hissab se woh part baaki k kuch hisse se important tha jo aana caahiye tha story mein.. Issliye mujhe lagta hai ye story aapko as a long story likhni caahiye thi iss plot mein bahot jyaada potential hai jo ek short story mein nikal kar nahi aaraha hai.. Kyunki sab horaha hai samjh bhi aaraha hai lekin uske piche kaa hissa nahi logical lag raha hai ki hogaya but kyun?i don't know aap samjhe honge ye last line but as a reader mujhe Aisa laga ki ye ek long story honi caahiye for sure..Or kuch words hain jo English mein likhe in hain aapne jo mujhe bahot awkward laga I know unka hindi meaning bahot atpatta hoga lekin aapki story mein or words hain jo unse bhi atppatey hain toh aapko woh hindi he use karni caahiye thi ye best rehta.. .
Points: 7/10Story : .वो मुलाकातWritten by: Sweer_SinnerRead the story: here
Review:Overwiew - Romantic storie with a touch of sadness are one of my favorite things to read or watch (As in movies) Aapka plot kaafi common tha kyunki jyaadatar Pehli mulaaqaatein aise he hoti hain lekin end mein aapne kaafi different kardiya jo kaafi sahi tha in terms of emotions.. Pros- Aapki sudh hindi kaafi sahi lagi mujhe maine isase just pehle [USER=420]@nain11ster[/USER] bhai ki story padhi hai or aapne sudh hindi mein unko thodi si takkar di hai jo bahot badi baat hai because Nain bhai is a legend in terms of writing.. Then jo aapne Qismat k uppar tippani ki hai woh bahot he sahi lagi mujhe kaafi achi vichardhaara hai aapki for sure.. Cons - Jaisa maine kaha plot bahot common tha or sabkuch expected saa horaha tha then sab jaldi jaldi nipat raha tha according to me kaa story mein aap bahot kuch add kar shaktey they but aapne end karna theek samjha jo mujhe thoda ajeeb laga kyunki tabtak story bann he rahi thi or Nupur ko maarke aapne ekdum se end kardiya jo thoda unexpected tha jisase mujhe laga ek tarah se story adhuri reh gayi..
Review:Overwiew - Romantic storie with a touch of sadness are one of my favorite things to read or watch (As in movies) Aapka plot kaafi common tha kyunki jyaadatar Pehli mulaaqaatein aise he hoti hain lekin end mein aapne kaafi different kardiya jo kaafi sahi tha in terms of emotions.. Pros- Aapki sudh hindi kaafi sahi lagi mujhe maine isase just pehle [USER=420]@nain11ster[/USER] bhai ki story padhi hai or aapne sudh hindi mein unko thodi si takkar di hai jo bahot badi baat hai because Nain bhai is a legend in terms of writing.. Then jo aapne Qismat k uppar tippani ki hai woh bahot he sahi lagi mujhe kaafi achi vichardhaara hai aapki for sure.. Cons - Jaisa maine kaha plot bahot common tha or sabkuch expected saa horaha tha then sab jaldi jaldi nipat raha tha according to me kaa story mein aap bahot kuch add kar shaktey they but aapne end karna theek samjha jo mujhe thoda ajeeb laga kyunki tabtak story bann he rahi thi or Nupur ko maarke aapne ekdum se end kardiya jo thoda unexpected tha jisase mujhe laga ek tarah se story adhuri reh gayi..
Points: 5.5/10Story : Nauk-Rani Written by: xxxsimplewriterxxxRead the story: here
Review:Overwiew - A typical Indian Sex story with Maid and owner.. Pros- Story Contest mein iss type plot bahot he Hard rehtey hain kyunki time nahi hota space nahi hota or bahot saa likhna hota hai. Ab aapne ye plot chuna ye he aapki bahaaduri hai :D... Cons - Plot aapka bahot common tha Then sex scenes jyaada kuch read karne laayak they nahi.Spelling mistake bahot jyaada thi aapko hindi likhne mein problem horahi thi I guess.. Uppar se sab lines ek sath likhi hain Comas, Full stop yaa space kaa use nahi kiya aapne jisase padhtey time bahot confusion hua.. I hope next time aap thoda time leke likhenge story ko..
Review:Overwiew - A typical Indian Sex story with Maid and owner.. Pros- Story Contest mein iss type plot bahot he Hard rehtey hain kyunki time nahi hota space nahi hota or bahot saa likhna hota hai. Ab aapne ye plot chuna ye he aapki bahaaduri hai :D... Cons - Plot aapka bahot common tha Then sex scenes jyaada kuch read karne laayak they nahi.Spelling mistake bahot jyaada thi aapko hindi likhne mein problem horahi thi I guess.. Uppar se sab lines ek sath likhi hain Comas, Full stop yaa space kaa use nahi kiya aapne jisase padhtey time bahot confusion hua.. I hope next time aap thoda time leke likhenge story ko..
Review:Overwiew - Pardeep in Devnagri waah :adore:. Bahot he khubsurati se likha hai hindi ko tumne I give you that.. Pros- Kaafi achaa plot tha typical Indian family type plot tha jo thoda common hai aajkal but still tumne kaafi kuch add kiya isme jisase ye plot baaki typical plots se hattke bana.. Then thakur k scene ko kaafi Hattke dikhaaya tumne jisase or interesting bani story.. Cons-Bahot jaldbaaji dikhaai tumne start mein Sab jaldi jaldi nipta diya jabki wahan bahot kuch adhura reh gaya.. Next time thoda saa wait karke likho taaki kuch chuttey naa..
Review:Overwiew :- A story with a unique plot and a strong message. Pros- Story started on a positive note.. Plot kaafi strong tha.. Jehad k baare mein kaafi interesting baatein bataai hain aapne I appreciate that.. Cons-Message bahot sahi tha lekin woh message readers talk pohanchaaney mein naakaamyaab rahe aap.. Start strong thi but ending bahot weak thi..
Review: Overview :- A story full of emotions and a strong message.. Inshort a roller-coaster ride full of Emotions.. A strong plot and excellent narration. Pros- This story makes me want to read more of your stories for me this one was way better then your other story even on of my fellow judges don't agree with me on this one but for two of us this one was awesome. Hariya or Sunita kaa character bahot he shaandaar tareeke se show kiya hai aapne dono ko parallel chalaatey hue Kahaani ko aage badhaaya well done .. Is Kahaani mein aapne Achaai or Buraai dono he cheejon ko bahut he ache se dikhayaa hai.... Cons - The character buildup was little bit slow(Other then Hariya and Sunita ofcourse) . Also story mein bahot saari cheejein ek sath dikhaai hain jiski wajah se ek confusion create horaha hai basically a bubble of imagination was made for readers.. Or story ko ek he jagah revolve kiya hai aapne jiski wajah se reader bandh se gaye ussi jagah par.. Rest was fine..
Review:Overwiew :- A story full of action. Plot kaafi common tha you know typical movie waala plot but still you made this story awesome on your own.That makes it an amazing story.. Pros:- Character development kaafi sahi tha.. Narration bahot he sahi tha story kaa.. STart was Strong and you carried that start till the end.. Cons:- Story was full of dialouges jiski wajah se baaki cheejein missing lagi lekin dialouges bhi thode se boring they jiski wajah se flow weak hogaya middle mein.. Detailing missing thi like kuch parts thode or describe karne they..
Review:Overview :- Ek pyaari si romantic story.. "Love Has No boundaries" iss quote ko sahi saabit karti hui chalti hai story.. Pros:- Excellent selection of theme.. Narration aapka as usual on point tha he.. Jafer or Ragani k characters ko bahot he baareeki se show kiya hai.. Character development was amazing.. The message was sent very loud and clear.. Cons:- Plot thoda Bollywood type tha but still you tried your best to carry the plot with your skills lekin fir bhi missing thi kuch cheejein... Flow missing tha specially jiss flow se start ki thi story usko follow nahi kar paae Adi bhai aap..
Points: 6/10Story : Behan kii Nath kii thirkan......Written by: Rebel Desi.. Read the story: here
Review:Overview - Ek typical incest story thi jisme writer ne apni taraf se kaafi kuch add kiya hai.. Pros:- best part ye tha ko iss story mein incest k sath sath or portion bhi tha.. Like Kumar kaa character and all.. Flow kaafi sahi tha story kaa bichmein flow missing tha lekin ending mein aapne waapis control karliya tha flow... Cons:Poor Choice of plot ye plot aapko ek long story mein use karna caahiye .. Narration kaafi weak laga aapka mujhe jisko wajah se story bich bich mein bikhri hui thi.. Characters kaa buildup slow tha woh thoda or pace based hona caahiye tha..
Review:Overview - Ek typical incest story thi jisme writer ne apni taraf se kaafi kuch add kiya hai.. Pros:- best part ye tha ko iss story mein incest k sath sath or portion bhi tha.. Like Kumar kaa character and all.. Flow kaafi sahi tha story kaa bichmein flow missing tha lekin ending mein aapne waapis control karliya tha flow... Cons:Poor Choice of plot ye plot aapko ek long story mein use karna caahiye .. Narration kaafi weak laga aapka mujhe jisko wajah se story bich bich mein bikhri hui thi.. Characters kaa buildup slow tha woh thoda or pace based hona caahiye tha..
Review:Overwiew :- This Plot was very unique way different then your other story.. Narration was on point during the whole story.. Pros:The Sweetness of the relationship was the best part of this story.. Sneha and Rohan's character buildup was amazing.. Cons - The conversation part was left out. Dialouge delivery was weak..You started on a strong but you failed to carry it till the end. Characters were on point but there presence was not on point..
Review:Overview :- A story based on rape of a married woman and her screams haunt down reader's innerself.. Pros- Story gives a mammoth level insight of societie's current situation and that message is very well delivered by the writer.. Cons : I expected a little more insight of the narrator. Ending was super weak kyunki main title k hissab se bahot he alag ending soch k padhne laga tha..
Review:Overwiew :- Story started with a poor boys life, writer tried to give something unique ending but ended not giving it.. Pros : Story goes with flow that catches our attention.Start was very strong that buildup was pretty good.. Cons : Disappointed in ending, writer couldn't keep the flow till the end..
Review: Overview :- Story ne lockdown me garib majduro ke halat bayaan kiye he. You have really good narration skills I give you that.. Pros - Story mein har chij ko detail mein likha gaya he, ek baap ki khuddari dikhai he. Jo best part tha woh tha emotions of the characters woh behtarin they.. Cons- We expected some other twist in end but it's all right. Flow maintain nahi kar paae Rocky bhai kuch parts mein jiski wajah se story bikhari hui lagi bich mein.. Overall a pretty good story..
PART - C (From Story 30-49)
Review:Overall:- story Kaafi sahi thi, spelling mistakes kam they jaisa ki kam dekhne ko milta hai, story ne apna flow barkaraar rakha end tak.Pros : Story ke saath ghazal ne story ka weightage badhaya aur story flow ke saath chalti rahi. Cons : Concept still old laga drunken hero missing for years then reappeared. Thoda saa repeated laga jiski wajah se story slow rahi.
Review:Overall:- Plot was pretty nice. But This story is incomplete, writer was supposed to write a proper ending. Pros - Writer tried to maintain flow of story, with good starting and then middle part was prett good..Cons - Ending was pretty weak for the plot and also kaafi typos thi story mein..
Points: 7/10Story : ~~~~~ गहरा राज ~~~~~ Written by: Sweet_sinner Read the story: here
Review:Overview :- Storyline interesting rahi shuruat se leke end tak. Jaha readers ko har jagah Ankur he main culprit dikha wahi end me woh koi aur nikla.Pros: Story flow ke saath chalti rahi, plot bhi unique tha.. Spelling mistakes almost null he jo best part tha.. .Cons - End would have been better than this one kyunki start bahot strong thi lekin end le dubaa overall story ko.. But still a good Read..
Review:Overview :- Storyline interesting rahi shuruat se leke end tak. Jaha readers ko har jagah Ankur he main culprit dikha wahi end me woh koi aur nikla.Pros: Story flow ke saath chalti rahi, plot bhi unique tha.. Spelling mistakes almost null he jo best part tha.. .Cons - End would have been better than this one kyunki start bahot strong thi lekin end le dubaa overall story ko.. But still a good Read..
Review:Overall a new adult story with common narration style. Agar storyline me koi twist hota to aur bhi badhiya bann shakti thi.Pros : Story flow ke saath aage badhi he, kahi pe ruki nahi i mean flow tutta nahi kahin jiski wajah se story read karne mein alag he maja hota hai. Cons : Same, plot new nahi hai . Story ka narration plane n simple tha jo thoda repeating laga.. Or Emotions missing they..
Review:Overview :- Lots of spelling mistakes, overall story padhne ke baad lag raha he jese last minute pe likhi ho I mean time kam tha yaa jaldbaaji ki aapne.. Pros- A story with pretty good ending that is key nowadays because ending is missing in most stories..Cons- needs a lot of improvements specially typos and dialouge deliveries..
Review:Overview :- A story with a little morale.. Story aur bhi achhi hoti agar spelling mistakes na hoti. Pros- Flow kaafi sahi tha. Story ko end tak pohonchaya gaya hai same flow mein.. Start kaafi strong ki aapne..Cons- Spelling mistakes bohot hui he, plot me kuchh changes jaruri lage specially endings par work karna jaruri Hai aapko..
Review: Overview :- Ek story jo apne title ko dhyaan mein rakh ke kafi achhe se likhi gayi.. Really appreciate you going out of the way to write a quality story..Pros - Story flow ke saath bani rahi he end tak. Spelling mistakes almost 0 they jo kaafi sahi laga flow k sath. Message jo aapne diya woh 100% sahi hai.. As they say Karma is a bitch..Cons - Story me kuchh scenes unwanted lage. End aur detailing ke saath ho sakta tha jo mujhe jaruri laga lekin uske baawjud Great story..
Review:Overwiew :- Story Padhte waqt readers ko ek baar sahi me lagta he ke wife main culprit he, par end alag he laga.Pros- A new story with different plot, story flow ke saath bani rahi. Also kaafi dialouges ki wajah se jo comic timing nikal k aai woh bahot he funny thi..Cons - End explain kiya hota to story aur achhi ban sakti thi mujhe laga end thoda jaldbaaji mein kiya gaya jiski wajah se story slow hogayi ekdum se..
Review:Overwiew :- An unique story with expected but still enjoyable ending. Story has been written beautifully by narrator.Pros - An unique plot with good narration skills. Story never left its flow. Deepak or Shruti k characters kaafi interesting dikhaaya hai aapne. Or jo message aapne dikhaaya hai woh kaafi important hai.Cons - At starting readers may get a lil touchy for Maya but rest of story is all right. Also message bahot he important tha but usse show karne mein thoda piche reh gaye aap...
Review:Overview :- A good story of sacrifice of elder brother for his sister. Narration is really good and without any grammatical mistakes. Pros - Story has given a good suspense towards Harsh because of his nature, and along with new plot writer has managed to maintain flow of story. Cons - Plot thoda repeating laga you know Bollywood movies type jiski wajah se thoda ajeeb lagi story.. But overall kaafi sahi story thi.
Points: 7.5/10Story : SHATIR KATHPUTALIWritten by: ANKIT SHRIVASTAVARead the story: here
Review:Overwiew :- Suspense thriller ki category mein likhi ye story apne naam pe kayam rahi. Planning har kisi ki gajab thi par kamyaab ek he hua. Pros - Story flow ke saath chali, aur story ne ek appropriate end bhi dekha jo mere liye best tha.. Cons - Too many spelling mistakes and too many characters jiski wajah se writer khud confuse hogaya or uske sath fir readers bhi confuse hogaye middle mein.. Overall a interesting story..
Review:Overwiew :- Suspense thriller ki category mein likhi ye story apne naam pe kayam rahi. Planning har kisi ki gajab thi par kamyaab ek he hua. Pros - Story flow ke saath chali, aur story ne ek appropriate end bhi dekha jo mere liye best tha.. Cons - Too many spelling mistakes and too many characters jiski wajah se writer khud confuse hogaya or uske sath fir readers bhi confuse hogaye middle mein.. Overall a interesting story..
Review:Overview :- Another story with new plot and twist. Writer sahiba ne appreciable story likhi hai, aur end shocking but funny hai Aniket kaa character kaafi interesting way mein describe kiya hai.. Or best part aapne apne comfort zone se hattke story likhne kaa try kiya.. I was expecting a way different story from you :wink:.. Pros - Story has an unexpected ending which is awesome for a suspense story.. I loved the way you described The whole scenario with Aniket and Atmaram that was pretty good..Cons - Bichmein Story suspense generate karne mein safal nahi hui.. Also kuch scenes thode awkward lage in comparison to rest of the story.. Specially Atmaran kaa character buildup.. Thodi or lambi ho shakti thi story like thoda or confusion generate kar shakti thi aap. But still an excellent story..
Review:Overview :-A story with a proper plot and improper ending, question is what was writers intentions behind writing over this plot? If the intention was suspense then writer failed to achieve that but if the intention was to write a enjoyable story for readers then you pretty much succeeded in that one.. Pros : Story seems to be completed as i said an well written entertainer.. Cons : Questionable ending and behavior of characters was awkward and not upto the standards of the story..
Review: A story with emotional starting, but then looks like lost cause in the end.. Pros: Starting me story reality based lagi. Thoda aur improve kiya ja sakta tha lekin you tried your best.. Cons : Flow barkaraar rakhne me writer ko aur mehnat karni chahiye thi.
Review:Overwiew :- Writer ne ek Ancient-Modern fantasy story ka ek badhiya example pesh kiya he. Story ka end kya hoga ye sabko pata tha par fir bhi aage jake kuchh unexpected hoga ye aasha bhi thi. Pros - Story ne apna flow banaye rakha aur story ko apne anjaam tak pohonchaya hai writer ne.. Cons - Line gap maintain karna chahiye tha typos ki wajah se story ko understand karne mein kaafi problems hui readers ko..
Review:Overwiew :- Story ki shuruat ek middle class family se hoti he aur shabdo ke khel me wo aaj ki generation ki samzane ki kshamata pe rukti hai. Kaafi rare topic pick kiya aapne jo aapse expected tha as you are a brilliant writer.Pros- Story dimag ke liye ek khurak hai aur ek future ke liye message also jo message aap deliver karna caahtey ho woh bahot he ache se deliver kiya aapne.Cons- Readers ko jaha Mishra parivaar ke example me intrest laga padhne me unko end me disappointment lagi also as mentioned in the title ye story naa hokar Vayang lagi jo buri baat nahi hai but still it changes the perspective of us reading the story..
Review:Overwiew :- Story ek film ki tarah cut scenes mein likhi he jaise kisi film ki script ho cut by cut. Story me ek baap bete ke bich ka rishta dikhaya hai.. Pros- Story may give a little chill about old man's behavior towards mohan, and then his past. Cons - Because story has been written like script of movie, it allows readers to focus only on both characters but not rest of environment.
Review:Overwiew :-A story which starts from a girls dual life and her fantasies.Interesting Plot i must say.. Cons : Best part for me was erotic scenes in the story plus jo devnagri mein flow maintain kiya hai aapne woh kaabile taareef hai.. Cons : A twist or better ending was expected from the writer also ye plot mere hissab se ek long story mein better rehta jahaan aap isko or details mein likh shaktey they.. But at the end it was an enjoyable story..
Review:Overview :- Story ka plot bakiyo se puri tarah alag he, story padhte samay readers ke man me ek alag ending create hui ho par ending twist pura alag hai. Interesting choice of words..Cons- Story ka flow shuruvat se lekar ant tak barkarar hai par jo end twist hai wo readers ke liye alag hai.. Cons - word limit ke wajah se shayad story incomplete si lagi, kai readers padhne ke baad confused they because thoda awkward Banaa diya end mein story ko..
Review:Overwiew :- Story ek family value pe based hai jisme maa baap ek virtual life aur baki chijo me vyast hai. Aur unki jindagi mein aaya ye twist bohot kuchh badal deta he. Cons - Story gives a moral lesson along with a little taste of thrill. Cons- Story me kuchh improvements aur hoti jaise character details, dialogues between parents and childrens or tragedy of hospital then story aur behtar hoti..
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At last, I would like to thank each and every participant of the contest for taking part and making it a huge success. The contest was not planned before but due to the lock-down period, we thought it will be the right time for organizing this contest and you guys made it successful, thanks again. See you in next contest..
Regards
XForum Staff
Regards
XForum Staff
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Review: Overview :- Writer ne apne naam ke hisab se he story likhi hai ..Ek badhiya koshish thi dikhane ki online pyar bahut bekar hota hai ….Real life is better than Reel life
Pros :- Rahul ne Story likhi
Cons:- Thodi lambi likh dete ..
ye tareef tha ki bejti? @Judges 
Rahul ke khilaaf galat shabd nahi suna jaayega
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Rahul ke khilaaf galat shabd nahi suna jaayega
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